Holding On (37 page)

Her dad was constantly on her about
her grades, being responsible and never letting an opportunity slip
by, whether that be to travel or learn something new.  She
used to tell me that when she was at home her life was dark, she
couldn’t breathe, always feeling suffocated.  She said she
looked forward to coming to see Hem and I because at our house our
parents were basically ghosts with dad always working and mom
napping.  Hem and I would know when Sadey was about to crack
because she would come over and be dressed completely punked out
and this was when we were as young as seven and right before Hem
moved out.

Sadey still hasn’t worked since
college because we were slacking and trying to enjoy a last year of
free time before we entered the world.  I really don’t see Hem
allowing Sadey to work much but she will need a job outside the
house just to maintain some sanity. As a general observation, men
don’t get that.

So this evening I’m taking Sadey to
dinner, somewhere healthy so I can use this to sooth by conscious
of keeping Hem’s baby from him.  She will ask me for Mexican,
I’m prepared for battle though.  She’s not loading up on hot
sauce and grease on my watch.

“
You ready, little Mama?”
 Sadey frowns at my nickname, she looks stressed.
 

“
I’m just kidding ya,
what’s up? You look like someone tore the heads off your Barbie’s
again.”

“
Not even funny Mace.
 Why bring those memories back?  I’m so emotional right
now, just remembering Hem and Shame ripping those heads off and
filling them with sand, gah I could kill them right now just
thinking about it.  Remember how funny they thought they were
being?  Now that I think about it, wasn’t Shame like 17 when
he did that?  Little immature don’t ya think? I feel sorry for
the girl who ends up with that.”

Whew, she is emotional.  Cute and
funny but not cute and funny, you know.

“
Let’s blow this place,
you have earned some Sadey time.  What do you want to do?
 We can go get your haircut, or would you like a message?
 How about we go to the market and get some strawberries and
make us some fondue?”

“
Mace, I’m not about to
battle you right now so if you just do as I say this will go a
helluva lot easier on you.  I know I sound like a complete
bitch but I’ve had damn hot flashes all day and I’m not happy about
anything so you are taking me to that Mexican place on Franklin and
if you don’t then I’m asking Ace and we both know he will!”
 

Holy Shit, she’s fighting with her
fists up and she’s about to right hook my ass.

“
Fine, but now I get to
tell you something!  I will do this for you, my beautiful mama
to be, however it knocks a full week of Hem not knowing.  You
now have two weeks from today to tell him.  Deal?”

“
Throw in some fried ice
cream then, if I’m being blackmailed and bullied you have to make
it worth it.”

“
Done.”

“
Then
fine, let’s go already and Mace, just so you know I would have
taken two weeks off Hem’s knowledge if it meant I got
Mexican
and
dessert.  Sister, you are losing your touch.”

Oh the devious little
bitch!

After Sadey’s dinner of ‘plate load of
crap’ is done she decides she’s too tired to continue our evening.
 She’s completely blaming the baby but I’m won’t let her play
that off.

“
Sadey, no one eats that
much food filled with carbs, grease, and whatever else is added in
there and then tops it off with that much ice cream without feeling
sloth like.  Honey you did see they gave us two spoons in that
bowl of ice cream, right?  It was meant to be shared, not to
worry though because I’ve known you long enough to know that when
you literally growl and show teeth that you are staking your
claim.”

The only response I get is her eye
roll. She’s too tummy sick to talk, good!

“
I’m going to take you
home now so you can relax.  The boys get back tomorrow so
you’re going to have to leave behind your role of ‘mother to be’
and head back up to ‘Hem’s walking sex toy’.  Are you all
ready for that?”

“
No I’m not.  I want
to just let loose and relax but I can’t when he’s around because
I’m afraid I will make a slip.  Ya know, I almost feel bad
because I’ve been walking around naked all week because my tummy
has been so tight and sick. This means that Hem actually thinks it
is because I’m trying to seduce him.  Do you understand where
this is going?  This means he thinks I’m randy all the time.
That means I am busy with him all the time.  God, even I can’t
wait to just get this over with!  Your brother is hot Mace,
but c’mon he can’t believe he’s really that hot, can he?  Oh
god and he comes back tomorrow.”

I’m holding it in, counting in my head
1.2.3.4. Then I can’t hold it in anymore!  I roar in laughter
and she slams her forehead on the table in exasperation.
 

“
Oh honey, he will
understand you may be unavailable to him but I think maybe we
should stock up on some moo moo’s just in case, that way he isn’t
always looking at you like you’re a drink and he’s suffering from
dehydration.”  I’ve just made another joke and now laughing
again.

She looks up from the table and I roar
some more, no way that I can hold it in.  She now has half of
a nacho chip stuck to her forehead.  Oh my Sadey, she gives
new meaning to the term ‘Hot Mess’.

“
Take me home please.
 Not back to Club.  Please Mace.  I want to go home
now.”

“
No way!  Hem will
kick my ass, not happening.  Let’s go, Mama.  Let’s get
you back to the sex factory.”  Oh man, this is fun.

“
Please! Shut up! You
don’t know your brother. He never gets enough, never!”

Now I eye roll back to her. I do not
care at all, about my big brothers sexual drive. It has to be this
way if I’m interested in keeping my own. Yuck!

On the way back to the
house in her car, I’m driving and thinking about Hem being a new
dad. It dawns on me how fast she got pregnant.  She was a
virgin and has never been on any contraception so I’m curious to
know who failed on the baby protection method.

“
Hey Sadey, I’m just
curious and you can tell me to mind my own, but what protection did
you and Hem use while in that naked bed being all naked together?
 I know you were a virgin and you never really talked to me
about protection, not saying you aren’t educated but you never even
asked what I use.  What did you and Hem use?”

She studies me for a
second, I take my eyes off the road to look back at her then she
quickly looks ahead and mumbles and says, “Prayer.”

Oh shit, I’m counting again.
 1.2.3.4.5 But here it comes again.  I’m laughing and now
I’m about to pee.  

“
Shit Sadey, you are
telling me that he won’t be surprised at this then.  Oh my god
girl, I’ve had so much fun tonight.  Thank you.”

“
Well thanks Mace, but you
can’t put this on me.  When Hem wants something, I give it to
him.  Seriously, the caveman inside him couldn’t ever be
stopped or even slowed.  You can’t imagine or want to imagine
how crazy the man is.  Hell, he has my mouth so tied up I
wouldn’t be able to ever even ask anyway and things are always so
hot with us I didn’t want to throw a cold bucket on it even when we
weren’t busy.  I just kind of assume he knew what he was doing
and was okay with it.”  She looks sad now so I put my hand on
her knee and squeeze.

“
Honey, I’m going to be
honest.  I don’t think Hem has giving a second thought to the
chances of you being pregnant.  I’m sorry but I don’t think
the man has ever gone without covering himself other than with you.
That was only because it was so natural, you guys being together. I
think once you tell him he will realize what he has done and
forgive himself quickly.  He knows that out of the two of you,
he should have been the one to handle that issue.  What he is
getting in about eight months is all he will think about.
 It’s okay.  Your bigger problem will be trying to keep
him from having you pregnant and barefoot all the time.”

She sighs.  “Ace said he has
heard that pregnant woman are beautiful their whole pregnancy, even
when their body changes and expands to accommodate the little one
inside. He told me now that he’s seen it with his own eyes he never
knew why he doubted that.”

Okay, my little duck is in trouble.
He’s going to get a talkin’ too. Is he asking for another beat
down?  C’mon Sadey, you cannot be this blind that you can’t
see this man is starving for you.  Double Dammit,
Ace!

*****

We are pulling back to the
Club.  Across the street from the gated compound I see two
beat up vans parked in darkness.  I have never seen those
before and they look eerie.  I can’t see anyone in them so I
am trying not to judge.  The abandoned apartment complex they
are parked at is so dark that if they are inside I can’t see what
they are doing in there.  I don’t hear anything so I just
drive through slow and watch the gate shut behind me, sending up a
silent thank you for not having Jack the Ripper coming blazing
through to cut up Sade and me.

Sade is miserable so I
help her from the car as if she were just a little old woman, and
when we finally get inside and the place is empty.  Where is
everyone at?  Weird.  I don’t have time to think about it
long because I still have to pee and if Sadey starts talking any
more of her antics I’m going to bust.

I finish sitting Sadey and her now
full Mexican belly in Hem’s chair, she’s the only one that can sit
in his favorite leather chair and walk away with nothing broken.
 I’m now racing to the restroom and almost take out April and
Winnie and they come around the corner to the common room.
 

“
Hello Mace.”
 Winnie. Yuck.  I do not like this woman.  Can’t
remember now if this is the one I wanted to flush with the shit or
not. Her voice drips at me with sarcasm and if I didn’t have to pee
so damn bad I could actually appreciate an exchange of words, I’m
feeling pretty feisty.

“
Hi April, Sadey is
sitting in there, I need to pee like a racehorse.  Give me a
minute and I will be right back.”  I’m off!

Finished with my business I head back
to the girls, then I hear something loud and fiery and it is coming
closer, repeatedly.  I’m nearly ran over by a fluid moving in
motion Gunner and he’s screaming at the girls to get to the back
bathroom and stay there with doors locked. The man is moving so
fast to get to one of the closets nearby I hardly have time to
process what he’s doing in there for. Doesn’t take long for him to
come out with some serious automatic weapons. 

What the fuck did I miss?

Sadey is in my face
screaming at me to move but I can’t.  When I’m this hysterical
everything always goes in slow motion, nearly just stopping all
together.  I feel Sadey tugging at me and trying to pull me
but I don’t comprehend why.  Then, out of nowhere I’m jerked,
hard.  Gunner is in my face screaming, shaking my shoulders
and I finally come out of it.  Oh fuck, we are being shot at
through the windows.  I quickly look around and I see Winnie
face down.  I don’t see blood so I’m assuming she’s just
taking cover, unmoving.  

Gunner pushes me back until I am able
to turn and run with Sadey.  I hear Gunner call a few of the
other brothers and then I see that same prospect I saw at the club
that night with Peyton and Derek.  Gunner has called him
Raider.  Raider finds his way to the closet and starts handing
the other weapons to the brothers. They are so fluent in their
actions, it looks like they were trained as soldiers and are now
going to war.

Sadey is still pulling me with full
force behind her towards the back of the house, she’s screaming for
all the women to hide in the back bathroom and that we are going to
lock the doors so they need to hurry. She is giving orders to
everyone to get down and move with precision, and to shut the fuck
up and focus.  

I hear a man howl in
intense agony and I move to turn around but Sadey grabs me again,
stopping my forward movement.  That howl has to be one of our
family members, it was a cry of pain. This is too real. I just want
to check on him and see if I can help.

“
No Mace, let them handle
this.  Did Hem never tell you what happens to women if they
are taken by Club of another color?  We don’t know what is out
there so keep walking with me and let’s get back where Gunner told
us to be.”  Sadey is so calm and that it is what is reassuring
me.

We reach the bathroom and
most of the women are screaming so it is echoing within the walls,
Sadey whistles and tells them to shut up, explaining that we need
to let the guys handle this and they will come back for us when it
is clear. Not much time passes and the room quiets and we listen.
 

The shots I assume that is
what it was, have stopped and we can only hear muffled sounds
coming towards our door. A few moans of pain, some people talking,
and heavy banging noises. Shit shit shit.  My heart is
beating in my throat and I’m scared for Sadey and the baby. I don’t
have too long to think about her in worry because just as the room
grows completely quiet we hear it. Someone starts pounding on the
door as they try to open it, they are going to be making their way
in.