Holding On (27 page)

There
were
a
few
girls
who
were
sitting
off
to
the
side
of
the
tryouts. They looked to be my age, so I figured they were just watching.
When I
arrived
at
my
first
practice
a
few
days
later,
I
learned
that
they
were the
team
captains,
and
by
the
looks
that
they
gave
me,
they
were
not impressed.
It
made
we
wonder
whose
spot
I
had
taken
on
the
team
to deserve the evil
glares.

I
let
it
go
and
worked
my
butt
off
the
first
few
weeks.
Our
first
match was coming up, and the coach still had not posted where he wanted
us to
play.
I was hoping for singles since the other girls didn’t really
want
to
have
anything
to
do
with
me.
I
had
always
played
the
top
singles
spot
back home, but with the smaller size of the school, there was not a
lot of competition on the team. I never had to try out after my first year,
I was captain the last season, and I had held the same spot since I
started
playing. Competition within the team was new to me, but I was up
for it as long as they understood that I was not going to be backing
down.

Our
first
match
was
exactly
two
weeks
before
Brad
was
set
to
arrive. My mind was wandering from him to Ethan and back again throughout the
day.
I
had
yet
to
talk
to
Natalie
about
what
had
happened
at
the
party a
few
weeks
back.
Ben
had
been
calling
me
every
so
often
to
ask
me out,
but
I
had
been
using
tennis
as
an
excuse
to
avoid
him.
It
was
all
too much to handle at once. I wanted to figure things out for myself
before I opened up to anyone
else.

Ethan and I had been texting but not talking. He would ask how
I was
and
vice
versa,
but
we
never
talked
about
anything
deeper
than
that. He
had
been
the
first
person
I
texted
when
I
found
out
I
made
the
tennis team, and he was who I was texting right now to tell him I was
playing in the two singles
spot.

Me: thx. the grl at 1 is rly good i
guess

Ethan: not
really.
you could take her i
bet

Me: i guess we shall see. r u coming to watch
2day

Ethan: i wouldnt miss u in that hot little skirt and tight
top for anything. you should use ur other racket
though

I
glanced
down
at
my
outfit;
it
was
pretty
form
fitting.
My
gaze shifted
then
to
my
right
hand.
I
didn’t
even
realize
that
I
had
grabbed
my older racket until I read his text. Huh? My phone tinged again to
alert me to a new text message.

I
looked
slightly
to
my
right
where
I
thought
two
o’clock
would
be, and
I
saw
him.
He
was
standing
just
outside
the
fence
by
a
tree.
I
waved
and
then
shot
him
a
text,
thanking
him
for
coming
to
watch
me
play.
When
my
phone
started
to
ding
before
I
could
send
his
text,
I
almost dropped
it.

Leave it to Brad to make sure he wished me good luck. He
would
only
get
to
see
me
play
once,
but
I
knew
he
really
wanted
to
be
there to support me making my “comeback,” as he liked to call it. I
wanted
to prove to him that I really was back to being 100 percent next week.

I
sent
the
original
text
to
Ethan
and
then
dropped
a
quick
text
to Brad
before
swapping
out
for
my
better
racket
and
heading
onto
the courts
to
stretch.
I
was
one
of
the
first
matches
that
would
be
played
today,
so
I
only
had
about
ten
minutes
before
we
were
to
get
started.
Let my comeback
begin!

The
girl
I
played
was
extremely
talented.
She
had
a
kick-ass
forehand but not much of a serve, and she had a really hard time returning a
few of my serves. I ended up winning, by quite a bit, but I found it hard
to be
excited
at
that
moment.
I
wanted
to
play
against
their
best
player, not
their
second
best.
I
was
used
to
being
at
the
top,
playing
the
best available,
and
winning.
I
couldn’t
even
begin
to
describe
what
it
felt
like to not be the top
contender.

Brit,
the
girl
who
was
playing
one
singles
that
day,
ended
up
losing to her opponent. I was one of only three people who ended up
winning.
Our team was strong, but obviously not strong enough. It wasn’t until
I met up with Ethan after the matches were over that I learned that
most of
the
other
team
had
gone
on
to
play
at
state
last
year,
including
the girl
I
had
beaten.
I
felt
a
little
better
after
learning
that
little
tidbit
of knowledge and went home with my head held a little bit
higher.

The weeks went by faster than I thought they would in
anticipation of
Brad’s
arrival. I spent most of the afternoon Thursday cleaning
out the
guest
room
and
getting
it
ready
for
him.
Natalie
had
insisted
that
she
got
to
meet
my
best
friend—
she
could
not
get
over
that
it
was
a
guy after she saw the picture of us that Brad had given me with my ring.
I think it had more to do with how Brad looked and less to do with
him being my best friend. He was intoxicatingly good-looking after all.

She
had
been
dating
Morgan
for
a
little
over
a
month
now
officially. It seemed like they were truly
happy,
and it made me wonder if I even wanted
to
bring
up
the
whole
Ethan
thing
with
her.
She
never
mentioned him anymore, and I thought that maybe that was my all clear of sorts
to go ahead and pursue something with him if I wanted to. Did I want
to?

She had caught me staring at him a few weeks ago during class.
I lied
to
her
and
told
her
that
I
was
just
lost
in
thought,
and
she
bought it
the
first
time.
After
she
caught
me
again,
I
confessed
that
I
thought he was cute. She never mentioned that she used to date him, so
neither did I. She told me that he was a player and that I was better suited
for someone
like
Ben
if
I
was
looking
for
a
boyfriend.
She
didn’t
forbid me to date him. It kind of came across as a warning to be careful,
more than
anything
else.
I
should
have
taken
that
moment
to
tell
her,
but
I chickened out and knew that I would never be able
to.

So
as
the
final
hour
approached
to
leave
for
the
airport
to
pick up
Brad,
I
started
to
panic.
Natalie
was
having
a
“thing”
at
her
house tonight to welcome Brad to Tucson. I thought it was unnecessary,
but she insisted, especially since her parents had taken off for some sort
of third honeymoon. I didn’t know who was invited, but I saw her
talking to
a
bunch
of
people
in
class,
and
I
knew
that
Jill
would
be
there.
I assumed Morgan and Ben would be in attendance, but other than that,
I wasn’t
in
the
loop.
She
could
invite
anyone
she
wanted;
it
was
her
house after all. I was just a guest at this
party.

I
found
Ethan
waiting
for
me
by
my
locker
as
I
approached.
He
was smiling
at
me—that
full-megawatt
dimple-showing
smile
that
I
loved
so
much.
His
eyes
were
sparkling
like
they
had
been
that
morning
we
had breakfast
together.
I
was
caught
up
in
a
trance
again
as
I
walked
toward him. I wanted to put my hands in his hair, tug him toward me, and
kiss him
with
every
bit
of
passion
I
had
in
my
body.
I
didn’t,
of
course.
We
were in the middle of the hallway, at school, and Natalie could
be lurking
anywhere.

“Hey,”
I said as I finally reached my
locker.

“Hey.
Are you headed straight to the airport, or do you have
time to grab a coffee before you have to pick
him
up?” The way he said
him
made me straighten my back a little and take notice of his tone. He
was
jealous.

“I
have
time
for
coffee,
but
only
if
you
are
going
to
behave
yourself.” I was teasing him, and I know that he could hear that in my voice.

“I’ll meet you at the Bean in about
twenty?”

“Sound
good.”

I shut my locker, but before I could walk
away,
he had me pinned against
it
and
was
kissing
me
deeply.
I
forgot
all
about
being
in
a
public place. I forgot all about Natalie being around somewhere. I
completely let my mind shut
down.

He pulled
away,
just as quickly as he had attacked me,
breathless. “Now I can promise to behave.” He said this with a smile as he
turned and
walked
away,
leaving
me
stunned
and
staring
at
his
fabulous
behind.

I pulled myself together and headed to my
car.
There was no
time to
swing
home
now
if
I
was
going
to
have
coffee
with
Ethan
before picking up Brad. I could still feel his lips on mine as I drove out of
the parking lot. My phone chimed with an incoming text, but I ignored
it. I would check my phone once my head was screwed back on
straight.

I
pull
into
the
Bean
and
noticed
that
Ethan
was
already
here.
He must have come straight from school as well. I grabbed my purse
and my phone. I checked to see who sent me a text, and it was Ben. I
don’t really
want
to
deal
with
him
right
now,
but
I
open
it
anyway
to
see
what
he
wants.