Healing my Heart: Book 2 - My Heart Series (13 page)

I plan on spending Sunday in bed and sleeping away the demons and decisions I need to make.

Chapter 12

Jemma

I seriously had the best costume party ever! It looked magnificent decorated professionally thanks to Roxy and the seventies theme with costumes came to life with such animation. I was so thrilled with every part of it.

Well of course besides Dylan the wild bastard head butting Scott and causing bloodshed, the bouncers came at the perfect moment to escort his pathetic arse out.

Ending the night with more fun and games and on a high note we head home still intoxicated. Dan ravishes me and we have amazing and steamy drunken sex, hard and fast never gets old. Then we spend Sunday lazily sleeping and recovering with greasy hamburgers.

I
’ve checked on Roxy a few times, offered her some lunch.  She has spent the day in her bed too, although she didn’t seem that drunk at the end of the night but I guess she is feeling down and confused about Dylan. I decide giving her space is the best option.

I am getting quite worried about his behaviour actually. Numerous times now I
’ve seen or heard about his dark side and I think this should be the warning sign Rox needs to flick him to the kerb.

Last week at EXTREME! seeing her response to Kade, the passion and intensity was evident of their undying feelings. I just knew he wouldn
’t be able to stay away from her for too long. If anyone in this world deserves true love, it is my gorgeous Roxy. If I can find happiness again than so can she!

I
’ve already planned having today off work. Mondays are hard anyway and I was sure I would need to re-coup from my party, and that was a smart move as I’m still feeling a little bit seedy.

“
See ya whore bag,” I hear Roxy’s all too familiar voice call out and then feel her shaking me.

“
Hey get lost bitch!” I scream as I’m definitely not a morning person and being woken this way shits me. Her plan from the start I’m sure…

“
No rest for the wicked Jem Jem,” she stirs me further with her comment and plants a kiss on my cheek playfully.

“
Just get to work already,” I tell her joking but actually looking forward to rolling over and sleeping another hour or two.

By one in the afternoon I
’m feeling somewhat normal and refreshed from my shower. I make a ham and salad sandwich and decide to give our apartment a little TLC, starting with a good dust and vacuum. Someone’s gotta do it.

I put my headphones in and rock away to
“Girls Just Want to Have Fun” by Cindi Lauper, perfect housework song as I start to dust the TV, cabinets, bookshelves and the rest of the furniture and decorative items. I really do love what we have done with the place. So modern, yet homey.

I make my bed, admiring my new satin hot pink cover with beading and diamantes from my BFF herself, with matching European pillows and a few decorative ones I already owned.

I head into Roxy’s room and make her bed a touch neater than she made it in a rush. Then I start to vacuum room by room, vacuuming Roxy’s room but first picking up a few scattered items, her purple diary drops to the floor and a single paper falls out.

Not having any secrets from each other I unfold it, guessing it
’s a list of some sort…

Dear
Kade,

Well I guess I
’m writing you this letter as a way to get some closure, if that is possible, and I guess to get some long awaited answers.

I thought by now my memories of you would fade, but they haven
’t. You are always in my thoughts, more than you should be and I need to get a few things off my chest.

Honestly I still feel so much love for you. I miss you every day and wish it could have been different.

I have so many unanswered questions.

The biggest question is of course why you left?

Your text message came at the worst time and I couldn’t betray Dylan by replying. You sent it on Valentine’s Day of all days, really? And why did you send that message in the first place?

I owe Dylan a lot as he has helped me through the darkness you left me with.

Again it is the same word, why? Why did you desert me, I wish I knew what the hell happened and finally understood what went on inside that head of yours.

What made you walk out my door?

Wow… that is one intense and deep letter.

My beautiful friend has never gotten over him. He was and still is her one true love. I can still picture them together they were so in tune with each other, they mirrored each other
’s movements, looked at each other with admiration and passion.

I have never seen Roxy happier than when they were together.

Why hasn’t she sent this?

Oh Roxy as your best friend, I have to help you
. So I slide the letter into an envelope, search out Kade’s address from her address book and write in on the front. If I can just get the ball rolling by letting him know how she feels the rest of it will flow. Just like the waves he surfs, they will crash on the shore bringing him back into her arms.

Oh Jemma you should have been a poet,
I chuckle to myself.

It’s my job to help her find love and happiness again. I need to protect her and I’ll do the best damn job I can. Next on the agenda is to help her get rid of Disastrous Dylan.

Posting the letter on the way to work tomorrow, that is for sure.

Chapter 13

The End of
The Road

I decisively decide it
’s finally time to seize the day and go visit my mother and tell her the callous truth about Dylan.

He has become increasingly scary and it is now essential that everyone is aware of his dark mood swings and unpredictable behaviour.

I am honesty not sure what he is capable of.

Thank god he didn
’t call or message me after the nightmare he caused at Jem’s party. What the hell was he thinking? That’s just it with him, he never thinks before he acts, mentally unstable - that sums him up nicely.

I unwillingly pick up the handset to call mum from my work phone, it has been an unusually quiet day in the office for a Monday.

“Hey mum,” I say trying to hide my low mood as she answers cheerfully. Monday is her day off.  D
on’t we all wish we could have Mondays off.

“
Oh Roxy, it’s so good to hear your voice. How are you?” Mum asks me in her sweet calm tone and it instantly settles me.

“
I’m okay mum, just missing you. Can I call over after work?” I ask her really hoping she doesn’t already have plans. Sometimes a girl just needs her mum.

“
Of course you can. You and Dylan should come for dinner,” she says to me lovingly, without the slightest clue of what has been going on.

“
Oh thanks mum, I would love too but don’t worry about Dylan, he is working late,” I reluctantly lie to her, hoping she forgives me later when I tell her the truth.

“
Okay hunny. Oh I’m so excited to see you,” she tells me adoringly, and it makes my heart melt, that feeling of love from a parent is so warming.

As I finish up work I am grateful the slow day is over. Neeta accompanies me to the car park.

“Have a good night Roxy, call me if you need me promise,” Neeta says to me and hugs me firmly. She has been my support system today especially after I told her Dylan’s latest stunt.

“
Thanks lovely, you too,” I answer her back as I climb casually into my car to start the drive to mum and Phil’s place, not really looking forward to the conversation I know is coming.

I decide that I need a distraction from my thoughts for a while so I turn the music up and sing along to Mariah Carey, out of the corner of my eye I see my phone flashing, it says no caller id.

Wondering who it could be but feeling a little apprehensive I pick it up and answer.

“
Hello.”

“
Look Roxy, please don’t hang up its Dylan. I know I’m the last person you want to speak to right now, but can we at least talk?” Dylan’s desperate voice says into the receiver.

Very clever of him to hide his caller id so I would answer it. But he is right we do need to talk.

“Yes okay we do need to talk but that is it Dylan,” I tell him honestly wanting to get it out of the way so I can just move on with my life, without him in it.

“
Can I meet you at your place?” he pleads with me sounding raspy and deflated.

But he should, doesn
’t he think his behaviour has impacted us all?

“
I’m having dinner at mums after work, but then I’ll be home. You meet me by around eight thirty,” I say to him feeling anxious but it is now or never.

“
Okay, I will see you then Rox. Thanks for agreeing to see me,” he proclaims to me almost whispering into the receiver.

“
See you then,” I say to him ending the phone call and hanging up, getting chills just hearing his voice.
And not in a good way.

I am not sure what his expectations are about me agreeing to see him, but I will be setting him straight once and for all.

I decide to give Jemma a quick call, my sassy lifeline, I need for her to be present at our apartment when Dylan comes over. I just can’t risk being there alone with him, especially knowing his mood swings and what he is capable of…

And well, getting dumped can bring out the worst in people…

“Hey Jem,” I say to her not really in the mood for our usual playfulness and banter.

“
Hey Rox, what’s up? You sound down girlfriend,” she says to me and I’m grateful she picked the tone in my voice.

“
Dylan is coming over tonight. It’s essential that I finally end our relationship and I’m not sure how he will take it,” I admit openly to her.

“
Oh of course, do you need me to be there?” she asks me sincerely.

“
Yes please babe. I mean just you being in the other room is more than fine, I’m just a bit frightened of the guy lately,” I confess to the person who knows me better than myself sometimes. “Oh but I won’t be home till eight thirty. I’m having dinner at mums, need to fill her in on a lot of stuff she isn’t aware of,” I add informatively.

“
Okay, no problem at all Rox. I’ll have Dan grab some clothes and come over too. I think we will both feel safer,” she tells me and I suddenly feel less anxious.

“
Thanks gorgeous, I love you,” I say truthfully to my bestie.

“
Love ya too,” Jemma says to me and it makes me smile, her friendship is one of a kind.

I pull my tiny blue car into mum
’s driveway and inhale a deep breath in and exhale out. I know she will freak about what I need to tell her.

I climb out slowly and walk up her pretty garden path as the front door opens and mum runs out with her arms open.

“Hey sweetie, why has it been so long in between visits and phone calls for that matter?” she says to me as she squishes me with a giant bear hug that I’ve missed so much.

“
Oh mum,” I reply and burst into an ocean of tears.

“
Oh Roxy, it’s okay. I’m just stirring you. I know you are busy and have Dylan,” she tells me trying to help ease the never ending tears, thinking her comment caused them.

I shake my head.
“No there’s a lot you don’t know mum.” I manage to force the words out through my tears.

“
Oh hunny, what is it? Are you okay? What can I do?” she asks now sounding overly concerned.

“
Come inside, we will sit and you can make us both some tea and I will tell you all about it,” I say to her wiping my eyes, trying to act tougher than I am feeling that’s for sure.

Mum makes us both a cup of her special green tea.
“Okay so spill it miss,” she remarks to me now in her ordering authoritative voice, in between sipping her drink.

I nod to her and drink my beverage that tastes amazing.
“Okay here goes. I’m ending it with Dylan, tonight actually, you have no idea what he has been like mum,” I say truthfully to her and the tears flow again. She puts down her cup, and she pulls me in for an embrace.

“
Roxy, I had no idea you were having problems. Why have you been keeping it to yourself? If he so much as laid a finger on you I swear to god I will call the police!” she reports to me angrily now frowning in disbelief.

“
No, no he hasn’t hit me. Well not yet but that is what I am afraid of. I just know that he won’t be able to control himself one day so that’s why I need it to be over mum,” I tell her feeling miserable and dejected that it has come to this.

“
It started out as little things he did. Like he started out normal then moved onto smothering, overbearing, then extremely jealous. But then he turned up at my work acting crazy I thought that was it, but of course the sweet Dylan talked me out of it,” I admit feeling silly I hadn’t told her sooner and that I fell for his disguise.

“
Oh Roxy, you should always come to me about anything. I know when you were a teenager we didn’t always see eye to eye but I love you and you are my daughter, my flesh and blood and I am here to support you through anything in your life,” she confesses to me with more heartfelt emotion from her than I have ever seen before in her eyes and she couldn’t have picked a better moment for it.  I feel so loved right now.

“
Oh mum, I love you too and trust me, I wanted to tell you so many times. I guess I just thought he would change or that maybe the good would outweigh the bad. And well it did for quite a while, but Jemma’s party was the last straw,” I tell her feeling relieved that it’s off my chest.

“
Do I want to know what happened at Jemma’s party?” She quizzes me sounding apprehensive.

“
Um well probably not, but the short version is that I had a big fight with Dylan before we even left the house so he didn’t come. But of course he turned up later to see me accidentally kiss a friend of Dan’s and well it was so brutal mum.” I shake my head but continue the story.

“
He head butted Scott in the nose and blood spurted out everywhere, it was terrible.” I recount the events of the night to her feeling just as disheartened about it now as I did then.

“
Oh Roxy, you must have been so frightened. What a scary event, and poor Jemma. I just can’t believe it that bastard had us all fooled now didn’t he? Please Roxy promise me that you won’t see him again after tonight,” she begs me to agree to her demand.

“
I promise after tonight that is it. I have Jemma and Dan staying home with me just in case he overreacts. I’m sure he knows it’s coming. I mean who the hell thinks violence is okay? Not to mention the smothering and overbearing behaviour,” I respond to her request to keep my distance.

Pulling me in for another hug, mum pushes a stray hair lovingly behind my ear and kisses my cheek.

“You know I still wanna kick Kade’s butt for the way he up and left you,” she tells me smirking, knowing it was a taboo subject for me months ago, but actually her comment couldn’t have come at a better time.

“
Yep you and me both mum. Oh and I kinda saw him at the club last weekend,” I inform her now smirking myself but not giving her the heated details of our encounter.

“
That’s a sign Roxanne if I ever heard one. The way Kade used to look at you it was unconditional love, not smothering or dysfunctional but spine tingling love. I have a feeling about him sweetheart,” she tells me endearingly.

“
We will see what the future holds mum,” I tell her now smirking at the possibility of love again and with Kade. The thought just gives me butterflies.

While mum finishes cooking and dishes out our dinner I quietly head out into the neatly manicured backyard for some much needed fresh air.

Growing up in our family home we always had a tree house that Jeremy and I would play in. It was built from old grey timber panels, was unpainted and crooked thanks to my drunken father’s building attempts, but it was ours…

Phil was quite handy and had built one for their grand kids. Thanks to Phil
’s older children this one was perfect, it was built from sanded pine, structurally stable and well painted in a light blue colour, much more homey.

I carefully climb the ladder into the sky blue tree house and the memories come flooding back to me of the grey one I spent countless hours in.

Before my father left…