Good Girl (Playroom) (24 page)

“Tonight was the hardest night I’ve ever lived through, Auggie. I needed a shoulder to lean on when I got home. I needed you to listen and offer your invaluable advice. Instead
, you judged me and fought me. You reduced me to something so insignificant that it made me feel bad about myself. You can keep apologizing. But at this time, I don’t trust you. I’m not the same Willow I was, and I deserve the benefit of the doubt. Don’t apologize to me again unless you know you’ll never behave that way again. I don’t care if you think you’re the top fucking dog, sometimes you need punished, too. Maybe I’ll call Chief Mason to kick your ass, or Isis. But, frankly, I’m sick of your shit, too.”

“I fucked up, I get that,” Auggie
breathes in defeat.

“Ya think,” spills before I can stop it this time. “I’m sick of everybody’s shit. I just want to work and ignore all you fuckers. You’ve taken every outlet I have away. You showed me a taste of pleasure and dangle
d it like a carrot. Just like when I was little, you’d take the carrot away just as I’d reached for it, and consume the fucker before my eyes. No drugs, no alcohol- it won’t be easy, but I’m trying. Smokes- fuck you. It was the only thing I could do to keep from toking up, so deal. No play, no sex, no Auggie- work, work, work. I’m eighteen, give me a dang break.”

“This new you confuses me, but I think I like her,” Auggie says with pride, and for the first time tonight he meets my eyes.

“It’s called self-respect, and Mr. Kline taught me how important it is. Now, if only he’d give me some in return our lives would flow smoothly.”

“Sleep with me tonight,” Auggie
begs.

“No,” I deny him and it feels damn good. He flinches and I momentarily feel bad, but then the satisfaction returns. “It’s too soon and not a good idea, Auggie.
You need to figure out who I am to you. I can’t handle you dangling that carrot anymore.”

“No one said you c
ouldn’t have sex,” Auggie sadly says. “I told you to play with guys your own age.”

“
Yeah, I’ll do that,” I threaten, and he winces. “Good night, Auggie… And by the way, I didn’t even taste a drink.”

~Chapter Nineteen~

Last night I worked at the Spook House until it was time to go to work at the shop. I didn’t do it to prove that I’m an adult, or to make Auggie proud, or to act as a martyr. I did it for me, and I feel fan-fucking-tastic… and dead-tired.

“I have a suggestion,” I
hesitantly say after several hours of Auggie staring at me in silence. He refused to work in the back of the store at all today. He’s examined me, making sure I didn’t metamorphosis into a spoiled brat monster by grabbing a bottle of whiskey, a bowl, and impale myself on his cock.

“I fixed up a room in the house. It’s out of the way
, so it shouldn’t be an issue with the remodel. I set up some furniture. I want to stay at the Spook House. I want it to be my home.” I started off my request meekly, but I ended it in a voice filled with confident strength, that I’m not sure I really feel.

“It’s already
your home. As soon as it’s ready, we’ll all move in,” Auggie happily offers, avoiding what I really meant.

Auggie
strokes my shoulder and I try not to pull away. I’m not mad at him. I’m just so damned confused, and shit like that only makes the confusion worse. Does he want me or not? In the
Playroom
or in reality? Am I his pet and employee, or friend and lover? He can only have one from each category. I can’t be all of that and not be confused. It doesn’t make me an idiot, it makes Auggie one. I don’t trust this side of Mr. Kline.

“You mistake what I mean
t. What I meant to say is, as of last night, I live in that room at the Spook House. I don’t live at the loft. I never really did.”

“Why?” It’s no longer just
the
I don’t know you
look. It’s acquired its own tone of voice to go along with it.

“As you said
, we have a lot to do at the house. I might as well be there so I can work. Besides, you won’t be around in the evenings, anyway. I know you have to be at the club.”

“Are you try
ing to punish me?” I can hear Auggie’s teeth grind and his face flames red with fury.

“Ha,” I say without humor. “You think me capable of playing games only a woman can play? Even if I was a woman in your eyes, I’d never do that to you, Auggie.
I’d never manipulate you or control you. If you allowed it, I’d be disappointed in you. I don’t want to see you as I do my parents. I respect you too much.”

I look a
t Auggie’s face and try to read him. I don’t want him to see me as a spoiled brat who uses him. I’ve been ashamed of how I treated my parents and Clover all these years. Auggie has to know I wouldn’t do it to him, too. It’s what I love about him in the first place. Auggie makes me want to be a better person. Someday, I hope to be strong enough for someone else to what to better themselves for me.

“
I love seeing the change in the house. Just that small bit I did over night was a huge transformation. I don’t want to miss a second. And I wasn’t being a sarcastic bitch about the club, Auggie. You own it. I’d bet you spent every night there until I turned eighteen. I won’t change your life. You’d just resent me for it.”

“I want you here with me,
” Auggie pleads. I don’t tell him the real reason I’m avoiding the loft- his bed. The night before last, I gave in and slept with Auggie. I can’t sleep with him every night. I can’t cuddle and touch only to have it ripped away from me when we move from the loft. This is less painful because the outcome would have been me sleeping alone in the Spook House anyway. I might as well do it from day one.

“I want you here with me,” he
heartbreakingly repeats. I’m yanked into his arms. Immediately I’m engulfed by his addictive scent and scorching heat. I allow Auggie to hold me for what feels like hours, but it’s probably just minutes. The only reason I know I’m crying is that my face is wet. Confusion muddles all my emotions.

The ding of the bell on the front d
oor draws me away from Auggie- saved by the bell. 

“My boyfriend’s here,” I manage to say without it sounding li
ke a total lie. I don’t want Auggie to be disappointed that Devon and I are just friends. “Devon’s here to help me move my boxes.”

***

“It’s an invasion,” Devon laughs and tosses his crust into the pizza box. An army of Playroomers invaded the Spook House. I want to yell at them to leave my house alone, but then I realize it isn’t my house. I shuffle the deck of cards and slide it back into its box.

“I guess our break’
s over,” I grumpily mutter. I’ve enjoyed the one-on-one time with Devon. We packed my stuff up and drove it over here. He helped me comfortably fix my room up, and now that we finally found the time to sit down to eat cardboard-pizza and engage in a competitive game of
War,
we’re interrupted. 

I was just starting to feel better. I’ve had more fun today than I have in ages.
Devon and I avoided talk of misbehaving bosses and even more inappropriate so-called girlfriends- Auggie and Tina.

I’m not the flirty sort and I’ve never been comp
elled to do it, but it’s been an uphill battle to behave today. I’ve messed up a few times by accidently touching Devon or innocently flirting. He’s been a good sport about it, though. Devon just shyly blushes and looks away. I don’t know the rules of this type of game.

“Willow,” is breath
ed against the top of my head as his huge palm strokes my back. “I brought help,” Auggie volunteers.

“Well,” I hop up, “L
et’s see how much we can get done in a night.” I sound chipper and perky. It’s not all an act- the thought of progress trills energy into my bloodstream.

Auggie’s hand trails along my neck and down to my back. “It’s been a long day without you,” he breathes against my throat. His voice vibrates down my body
, weakening my knees. I have to grip his forearms to remain upright. I nearly moan.

“I… uh…” I clear my
throat. “What do we do first?”

“Demolition
,” Auggie evilly growls.

“Fuck yeah,” Devon grunts.

I don’t get men at all.

Alright, I change my mind. I love demolition. Twenty guys running around half naked, glistening with sweat and carrying sledge hammers is erotic as hell. I want to complain about how sexist it is for the w
oman to clean up the mess they’re making, but I can’t get my lips to form words. They’re too busy drooling.

My eyes flutter between a compact Cop and a gigantic Illustrator. I see all the men, but those two eclipse everyone else. They are complete opposites in the extreme.

Auggie spends a lot of the time fending off the Playroomers. I watch with amusement as he flirts like a pro and flexes and bends to give us a show.

What I didn’t expect is t
he reception Devon is getting from the female Playroomers. I’ve never seen him flirt. Not even when we were at parties with a dozen drunken girls stumbling around. Other than a flirty smile, Devon seemed indifferent to Tina’s ministrations. Tonight, Devon openly and confidently flirts. It stings more so than Auggie’s display. Auggie was meant to flirt and fuck. It’s in his personality, and it doesn’t necessarily mean anything. He’s an equal-opportunity whoremonger. But with Devon, it has a purpose. He’s selective and he never selects me. It shouldn’t sting, but it does. You want your friends to at least think you’re attractive.

I watch as
one girl runs her finger down Devon’s sweat slickened chest and offers her damp finger to him. Devon playfully nips her fingertip between his teeth and laughs.

“Hahaaaaahhaa,” I nastily mock
underneath my breath and start beating a lath to wooden bits.

“What’s so funny?” Ro
bbie asks me when he walks by.

“Not a thing.
Not a fucking thing,” I growl, breaking the wood in half.

“What’d you say?” My brother
asks, stopping in his tracks.

“Nothing- I have nothing to say,
” I agitatedly mumble.

I ignore Devon
seductively laughing while gripping a girl’s hips and Auggie smacking a chick’s perfectly round ass. Hmm… I guess ignore isn’t the right word, considering I was completely captivated by it. I’d love to flirt in retaliation, but not one of the twenty guys thinks Willow, with her ten year old boy body is flirtatious.

Where the fuck is Kieren when I need him- that
assmunch is attracted to me. I instantly feel bad for wanting to use him. If I go without any longer, Kieren’s going to move to the top of my menu- Auggie’s warning be damned.

“Have
you checked out the attic, yet? It will make an awesome
Playroom
,” Robbie excitedly says. He doesn’t realize that he just twisted the knife deeper into his sister’s back.

“No,” I
despondently says.

“Why not? It’s perfect.”
He gives me that look- the one that screams
Willow’s a dipshit
.

“I don’t have an invite
,” I grumble, hoping no one will hear it.

“You don’t need an invite to enter your own
attic,” Robbie says like I’m retarded.

“You do if it’s the Playroom. Auggie is
serious about that kind of shit,” spills out before I can stop it. I decide that working would keep my mouth shut. I pick up lath covered in plaster and toss it into a huge garbage bag.

“What are you talking about?”
Robbie stills my hand so that I can’t ignore him.

“My invite was rescinded. Actually, I
guess I was never invited. I trespassed. No attic for me. I’m sure it’s awesome, but I’m not going to torture myself with what I want when I can’t have it.”

“What? Are you
being punished for something?” Robbie eyes me like I’m a total badass.

“Are you deaf? I just said I’m never allowed to go to the
Playroom
. The
Playroom
is wherever Auggie chooses since it revolves around him. I’m not good or bad enough to play,” my voice breaks and I quickly brush a betraying tear away.

“Hey,” Robbie
tries to embrace me and I step away.

“Don’t tell anyon
e, alright? No one knows but Auggie and me. I’m embarrassed enough as it is. It’s difficult seeing everyone here, knowing that I’m nothing to them. If they start playing, I’ll have to leave,” I whisper.

“What’s going on?”
Robbie pulls at my arm, trying to hug me again.

“I don’t know,
” I weakly answer. I see Auggie making a beeline in our direction and I start to panic. “I better go to the store and get a case or two of water. I’ll be right back,” I make my excuse to bolt to my brother.