Fiendish: A Twisted Fairytale (89 page)

“Tell me.”

“Seth, I’ll be fine. I mean I am fine. Can we just eat? Please.” Her voice cracked, letting me know she was near her breaking point.

“I want you to quit ignoring my question and give me a straight answer.”

She kept her back to me, but I noticed her hand shaking as she brought the glass to her lips. I ran my fingers across the exposed skin on her back, enjoying the soft feel of it. Touching her, holding her, was something I didn’t think I would ever grow tired of doing.

“I won
’t ask again,” I whispered, wrapping my arms around her.

“I
’ve always set fairly realistic goals for myself,” she said, wiggling her way out of my arms. “The one area of my life I’d ever had unrealistic fantasies about was my love life. I never had boys beating down my door to date me, and I was okay with that. I only wanted and needed one man, that special one person just for me to love and for him to love me back.”

“That doesn
’t sound unrealistic. And you have what you wanted.”

A strange look fluttered across her face when she heard my response. Calida poured another glass of champagne, draining it in one gulp before she continued.

“You married me.”

“And that
’s a problem?”

“I
’d dreamed of that moment when I would be asked. I mean not the specifics of course, but the general idea of him doing something special and meaningful. Maybe being a little nervous about the step we were taking. But it would have been sweet and romantic, and I would have cried most likely but happily said yes.” Calida stopped and took a shaky breath. “My wedding would have been a small affair because I wouldn’t need much. Just the man I loved, and my family and friends there to witness. Macy would have been my maid of honor, and we would have shopped for my dress and done all the things I’m doing for her now.”

She wiped away a tear. E
ven with the sadness written all over her face, she was a beautiful sight.

“You didn
’t ask me, Seth, you just…I got married today with no prior knowledge it was going to happen. Those little things you don’t care about, but mean so much to me, you robbed me of. You wanted me as your wife, and so I am end of discussion. So now you know what’s bothering me. Nothing can be done to change it so...”

***

Seth stared at me for a moment. A range of emotions flashed across his face. I waited for him to say something, but was afraid to hear what it might be.

“We should eat,” he said, taking a seat at the table.

He picked up his napkin, placing it in his lap and began to eat as if I had said nothing. I took my seat across from him, still waiting on some acknowledgement, but it became evident it wasn’t coming. The tension in the room was thick and suffocating. I wanted to say something, but I was at a loss for words. Grace came in to collect our plates. She looked at my plate, which was barely touched, but made no comment.

“Are you ready to cut your cake now?” she asked.

Seth looked at me, waiting for me to answer her.

“Yes, please.” I replied, smiling at her.

She gave me a warm smile in return before exiting. Moments later, she carried out the cutting knife. Seth and I posed for pictures as we sliced into the cake. She and Charles stayed and ate it with us, making idle chitchat about different tourist sites we could see while we were here. 

They told us about the history of the place, and I learned
, sadly, that they didn’t stay on the premises but instead lived across the street.

On the way back to the room
, Seth had to help steady me since the glasses of champagne were taking effect. My head was a little fuzzy. I wasn’t drunk, but I had enough alcohol in my system to relax me and prepare me for what was to come.

Valarie never joined us, and I won
dered if she had left already. When we walked into the room, I got my answer. Candles were lit, giving a romantic glow to the space. There was more champagne chilling beside the bed along with strawberries. Vases of roses sat on the dresser, nightstand, and on the coffee table in front of the loveseat. On the bed, sitting atop rose petals, was a box beautifully gift wrapped. She must have been setting this all up. He really tried to make this day special and had thought of everything. 

The romantic side of Seth, the side that made me fall in love with him,
shone brightly at that moment. If not for the fact he was forcing me to stay in this relationship and being ambushed into this marriage, I would say that everything he did and planned was damn near perfect.

I felt Seth grab my arm then my body was being flung around until it collided with the door. The suddenness of that action brought me out of my tipsy reverie and fear quickly took over when I was faced with a very angry Seth.

“How can you still be so blind?” he hissed.

His fingers
dug into my arms painfully as he had me pinned in place. The antique doorknob dug into my back as he pressed me against the door.

“How can you not see what I
’ve done for you? How I’ve changed for you!” he continued, squeezing my arms tighter.

“Seth…”

“Shut up!” he yelled, slamming me against the door twice.

Silent tears rolled down my cheeks, fear coursed through my body, and pain radiated down my arms and in the center of my back. Seth
’s hands eased off my arms but crept up to close lightly around my neck. He leaned forward, resting his forehead against mine.

“You were unhappy at the house
, so I bought you a new one but that wasn’t enough,” Seth stated quietly. “Then I would watch you after spending time with your friend; you wanted what she has. I give you that, and still you complain.”

I closed my eyes
, letting the tears stream down my face. His thumbs stroked the side of my neck as he talked, and at times, he applied light pressure. I was too scared to move or say anything, so I just waited. Waited for him to finally do what I’d been expecting all along. I waited for him to kill me.

“I don
’t care about people, but I tried for you, and you don’t appreciate it. You just refuse to give me what I need from you…no matter what I do, no matter how I try to make it better for you. So, I’m done trying.” Seth fingered the necklace he’d given me when we arrived, and with a sudden tug, he snatched it off. “You don’t deserve this.”

There was
a coldness in his tone when he said that, one that matched the look in his eyes when he stepped away.

Chapter 59

My legs gave out, and I slid down onto the floor. I absentmindedly rubbed the back of my neck where he’d pulled the necklace off. Seth was so angry just now, but it was different.
He, he was hurt?
I had been so wrapped up in what I was being forced to give up for this relationship, which was mainly my freedom to choose if I wanted to be in this relationship or not, that I never considered he had feelings to hurt.
He had been trying for me? He cared for me?
Now he was going to stop. What did that mean?

His
‘trying’ still had me scared and in tears, so what would his not trying have in store for me?
Life in that room?
How could I have been so stupid? I was here to keep him happy so I could keep Macy safe, and I had put us both in much more danger possibly. Seth started undressing, casually tossing his shirt and jacket onto the love seat.

“Seth,” I said quietly as
I eased into a standing position.

He kept his back turned, ignoring me as I watched him step out of his pants. He walked
over, picking up the waste basket then dumped the unopened gift and rose petals into it.

“So you are going to spend the rest of the time ignoring me?” I asked, getting pissed as I watched him blow out the candles.

Taking off my shoe, I threw it at the back of his head, making direct contact. He stopped and turned to face me, looking angry and shocked. I took off the other one and threw it in his direction; he was able to deflect it before it made contact with his face.

“Have you lost your damn mind?” he snarled.

“Yes!” I screamed back at him. “All thanks to you. Now we’re a fucking matching set!”

I was angry. Angry at how he dictated my life, angry at how I let him. Every action I made was out of fear, and I was tired of being scared of him. Seth rushed towards me, and I forced myself to stand my ground even though everything in me screamed run. He loomed over me, nostrils flaring as he did. I felt the shiver run down my spine, but I refused to let fear win this time. Reaching up, I slapped him across the face.

Seth grabbed my arm, yanking me forward. “If you keep hitting me, I might have to start returning the favor.” His voice held a threatening tone. I didn’t doubt for one minute he wouldn’t follow up on that threat.

He held me close, our chests seemed to rise and fall in unison. I didn
’t want to think about his closeness; I didn’t want to look into his eyes and see the torment there. I shouldn’t, and wouldn’t, feel bad for feeling like I did, and it wasn’t fair that he could make me.

“You can
’t have it both ways,” I said with some of the anger gone from my voice. “You can’t force me to tell you the truth then get pissed by what I say. I’m allowed to feel how I fucking feel, Seth!”

“According to you, you
’re the only one that does feel,” he countered angrily, pushing me away.

“That
’s not true! I am fully aware of how you feel because it’s what I have to live up to. I can’t be me, I have to be who you want me to be, and…I’m…failing,” I cried.

“You
’re only failing because you want to! All I want is for you to be who you were. Instead, you feel the need to fight me at every turn.”

“I can
’t be who I was, Seth! As much as I want to believe everything over these last few months has been a horrific dream, I can’t!” I screamed. “I’ve tried. I…have…tried to be her, but I’m not her anymore. There’s no way I can be. How can you not see that?” I asked quietly.

“All of this was for you,
” he yelled, waving his arms around. “I don’t care about being married! I don’t need a piece of paper to tell me you’re mine, but it’s what you wanted!”

This fight was the same one we always had, and I always seemed to lose. What I really wanted and needed was in direct conflict with what he wanted and needed. His always won out. Every action I
’d taken, every decision I’d made was for him.

“I
’m not the one who’s blind, Seth, you are. None of this was about me or for me, if it was, you would have asked me. No this, like everything, was about you. It was about you wanting something from me.”

Seth took a step forward
, causing me to take an involuntary step back.

“And what is it that you think I wanted that I don
’t already have?” he asked with a smug look on his face.

“Me,” I retorted
, stepping back up.

He stood in front of me, looking down upon me, intimidating me, and as much as I didn’t want to be scared, I was. His hot breath blew across my face as he forced each angry exhale through his flared nostrils. Seth glared at me, his controlled rage burning clearly in his darkened eyes.

“But I do have you,” he replied, his voice dropping to that familiar
warning tone: the one that told me to stop pushing, the one that told me the restraint he was using to keep from showing me what he was fully capable of, was waning. The one that made me lift my chin a little higher and ignore.

“No. What you have is a person forced to be in a situation she doesn’t want. Why do you think I stay with you, Seth? Because I really want to? You honestly think I want to be here? Your touch repulses me; I have to force my mind to go somewhere else just so that I can make it through. You don’t have me, Seth, not really.”

Seth took a step back almost as if I had slapped him again. He recovered quickly and grabbed me by the neck. I couldn
’t help but to wince when he slammed my back up against the wall. My bravado gone, being squeezed from me as his hand began to tighten around my neck. I had pushed him too far this time, and with Grace and Charles no longer on the premises, no one was around to hear me scream—if I could scream.

“Is that the lie you tell yourself
, Cara Mia?” he asked, rubbing his face against mine. “Is that how you sleep better at night?”

I felt his hands
get tighter around my neck. I knew this course of action was a dangerous one, but I had this need for it not to always be about him. “That’s it Seth, do what you do best,” I challenged, hoping he’d finally put me out of my misery.

Seth said nothing in response. His piercing blue
eyes stared down at me intently; my will to keep fighting, my need to defy him—vanished. I don’t know what possessed me to act out, but now I was seriously rethinking my approach. I couldn’t die, not knowing he would be a threat to everyone.