Fiendish: A Twisted Fairytale (84 page)

Seth q
uickly recovered from his shock. I felt his arms wrap around my waist as he took lead of the kiss. He pulled away from me, and I saw that the raging storm appeared to be calming, at least a little. He still held me tightly, letting me know that a simple kiss was not going to be enough. My hand trembled slightly when I brought it up to cup his face. I couldn’t lose my courage now; I had to see it through. I knew he was angry, jealous, over my closeness with Malcolm, and I knew there was only one way to soften whatever punishment he had planned for me.

“I love you,” I said softly as I kissed him again.

My hands slid down his chest until they rested on the waistband of his pants. Maintaining eye contact, I unbuttoned them then slid my hand down the front taking hold of his shaft. It grew hard in my hands as I stroked him. A smile slowly spread across his face; wordlessly, he placed his hands on my shoulders, gently forcing me to my knees. I looked up at him, and controlling my fear as best as possible, I forced a smile on my lips before leaning forward, taking him into my mouth, giving him what he wanted.

Chapter 55

I grimaced, rubbing my side, hoping the cramps would go away soon while I absentmindedly browsed through the endless sea of white, off white, and ivory dresses. Macy was in the fitting room trying on her first selection. She had planned this dress shopping day while both her mother and soon to be mother-in-law were in town. I was happy for my friend, I really was, but as I shifted through the dresses, each one I touched reminded me of what I would never get to experience. I shook my head to clear out that train of thought. This was not about me and I just needed to be happy for Macy, only it was hard to find that happiness.

“Are you feeling okay?
” Momma D, asked stepping up beside me.

“Yeah, just cramps.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. I think this one would look good on her,” I said
, changing the topic.

Momma D inspected the dress I
’d pulled from the rack.

“I think you
’re right, but then again there isn’t much that wouldn’t look good on her,” she replied.

I gave her a slight grin then put the dress back on the rack. “Yes, that
’s true.”

“I still can
’t believe she’s getting married,” she gushed as Audrey walked over to join us. “I didn’t think I would ever see the day she would want to settle down.”

“Well, Mitch is a great guy,” I replied, smiling at both women. “I told her she would be an idiot to let him get away.”

“So glad you talked some sense into her.”

“And she
’s going to make the most beautiful bride,” Audrey added as Macy rounded the corner with Delia, her bridal consultant.

Both of the women rushed towards her gushing over the fit as she stepped up onto the platform. I remained by the rack of dresses, rubbing my side, watching as they all discussed the fit. Seeing her up there made things very real. It was one thing to hear her talking about venues and color schemes, but to actually see her in a dress hit me hard. I hated feeling this way. I hated that I just couldn
’t be happy for her without feeling the ‘why me.’ Life was moving on, and I felt as if I was stuck in place watching it.

“What do you think
, Lee?” Macy asked, drawing me out of my thoughts.

She looked at me expectantly
, waiting on a response.

“It looks good,” I replied
, forcing a smile to my face as I walked over to join the group.

The dress was ivory with jeweled spaghetti straps. Around the waist were more jewels acting as a bodice of sorts, and the dress flowed freely reminding me of the Grecian style dresses.

“I really like the rhinestone detail on the straps and at your waist. My only thought though is it doesn’t really scream bride to me. If you needed a formal dress for some other function, this would be it, but I just don’t think wedding.”

“You know, you might be right,” she agreed, turning to look at herself again.
 

After a little more discussion, Delia took her to put on the next selection.

“Macy told me Dorian got married recently,” Momma D commented as she patted for me to take a seat beside her.

“Yes,” I replied nodding. “In August,” I finished
, trying not to wince as I sat down on the couch.

She gave me that look
, and I knew what was coming. I didn’t want to have a discussion about my relationship with Seth. I didn’t want to have to lie to anyone else; it was bad enough my every action was a lie. I pretended things were normal and happy when that was not the reality.

“Things seem fairly serious with Seth. Macy said you
’re living with him.” I tried not to roll my eyes as her voice took on that motherly tone. “He’s very charming and seems very
captivated
with you.”

I could tell by her tone that she didn
’t really mean that last part in a good way.  “Yes, he is a charmer. And I’ve just recently moved in,” I replied, silently praying Macy would return soon.

“Times are so different now. Cohabitating is on the rise and fewer couples are actually getting married,” Audrey stated as she joined in on the conversation. “If this trend keeps up, I just might be out of a job,” she finished with a small laugh.

“No, there will always be celebrities,” Momma D replied.

“I guess you are right.”

I was thankful the conversation shifted away from me. Macy modeled several more dresses before she finally found one she just fell in love with. The other in-between conversations consisted of wedding talk or basic subjects that weren’t me or my relationship.

“Okay, Mitch said they just got to
Baraonda, so hope everyone is in the mood for Italian,” Macy said as she walked over to join Audrey and me.

“I thought this was a girl
s’ day,” I blurted out, causing Macy to give me a puzzled look.

“Well, it is, but since Mitch and the guys were out getting tux measurements I didn
’t see the harm in us all having lunch together.”

I wanted to scream it was a great harm to me. I had to demoralize myself last night in a futile attempt to stave off Seth
’s anger, so I was not prepared to face Malcolm. I was thankful he was still sleeping when I got to the house. He was apparently up late because of a late night phone call from one of his lady friends, according to Pops. The relationship between Malcolm and I was always only friendly, even with the flirting. He’d always dated, although they were never serious, yet I was unexplainably hurt and angry hearing that this morning.

Now I would have to sit with him and the rest of them through a meal
, and I strangely found myself wanting to go home instead. However, instead of telling her how I felt, knowing I couldn’t tell her how I felt; I did what I do best. I apologized for my outburst, blaming it on PMS, and agreed lunch would be fun. I could tell by the looks both she and her mom gave me that they didn’t buy it, but neither pushed. I suspected that was because Audrey was with us, making me very grateful Macy wanted to include her in on this day. 

When we got to
Baraonda, the guys were all there waiting for us. I stood apart from the group, already feeling like the walls were closing in on me. My chest was tight, and I wanted to be anywhere than here at the moment. My hand went to the back of my head, rubbing it softly. It, along with the rest of me, was still sore even after taking Aleve this morning. And these stupid cramps were killing me. 

“
Is this what you wanted him to do to you, Ginger?”
I heard Seth’s voice hiss in my head. I closed my eyes, willing the memory to go away. When I opened them again, Malcolm was standing in front of me looking concerned.

“Are you okay
?” he asked, reaching out for me.

I stepped back out of his reach
, causing his brows to scrunch together in confusion. Looking past him, I saw Macy talking to Mitch, but she kept glancing over in my direction.

“Yes, I…um just have a bit of a headache.”

The hostess approached
, letting us know they had our table ready. I jumped slightly when I felt Malcolm’s hand on the small of my back.
“Did it feel good when he touched you, Ginger?”

“I, um.
Excuse me a sec,” I said quietly, pulling away from him and heading to the bathroom.

Once inside
, I ran into the last stall, trying to get my breathing under control. I felt the panic coming, and I could no longer hold back the tears I’d been fighting all morning.

“I can
’t do this. I can’t. I can’t. I can’t,” I chanted over and over to myself.

I couldn
’t keep pretending to be normal, that everything was fine. It was too much. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t be normal; I would never be normal again.
 

“
Say his name, Ginger. Tell me how much you wanted him.”
I shut my eyes tightly, trying to ignore the images that bombarded me. I gave myself to him last night, hoping to appease his anger. I gave myself to him; I’d made the first move; I’d initiated the sex. I’d sacrificed that last piece of myself, my last piece of morality in order to save myself. I thought I had succeeded. I felt like I was in control for a brief moment, but Seth quickly showed me how wrong I was. He’d started out seemingly reserved, peeling me out of my clothes slowly. He’d touched me softly and lulled me into a false sense of comfort before unleashing the anger I had tried to avoid. 

“
You are mine, Ginger.”
I scrambled to my feet quickly when I felt my breakfast coming back up. It had hurt so much. I begged and pleaded for him to stop, but he was relentless. He didn’t stop until I told him what he wanted to hear. He didn’t stop until I’d told him every detail about that night with Malcolm.

I stumbled out of the stall over to the sink to rinse out my mouth. I
looked at myself in the mirror and no longer recognized the person staring back at me. Grabbing a paper towel, I wet it and held it to my eyes to reduce some of the redness. I just wanted to leave, but that would cause more of a fuss. I would be expected to explain why and get looks of anger or disappointment, so I would stay. I would grin and bear it, because what other choice did I have?

When I got back to the table
, I saw the place left for me was beside Malcolm. I stopped, grabbing my side again. It hurt, more than any cramps I’d ever had before.

“Dear, are you alright” Audrey asked when she noticed me.

“Yeah,” I replied, nodding my head.

Another intense cramp hit me; I had to lean forward on the table to support myself. Malcolm and Macy were by my side.

“Lee, what’s going on?” she asked.

People at the
surrounding tables were looking and one of the waitresses came over.

“It
’s just…just cramps,” I whispered to Macy, trying to not draw any additional attention.

Mitch pulled out a chair for me to sit. “Calida, how long have you had the cramps?”

“Since last night, or early this morning. I don’t know for sure.”

“Calida, I have to ask…could you be
pregnant?”

I looked at him confused.
“I…no. I…I don’t know,” I replied, tears streaming down my face.

I tried to think, but I couldn
’t. When was my period due? Now? It was close to time.
Seth’s birthday
. “I could be,” I said crying, more now.

I zoned out after that. I remembered being ushered out of the restaurant and Mitch asking me more questions while Malcolm drove us to emergency care. Macy came back with me, but I wouldn
’t look at her. I kept my eyes focused on the mint colored walls while my legs were placed in the stirrups.

“Do you want me to call Seth?” Macy asked after the nurse had left.

I’d been given my discharge papers and aftercare instructions along with a card for grief counseling if needed. I was dazed. It was a surreal feeling to lose something you didn’t even know you had.

“Lee?” Macy said
, trying to get my attention.

“Huh?”

“Do you want me to call Seth? I don’t know if you should drive home.”

“No,” I replied
, shaking my head. “I’m okay; I’ll be able to drive. I’m sorry,” I said, turning to face her.

“Sorry?
For what?”

“Messing up.”

Macy pulled me into a tight hug, one I couldn’t return. “You didn’t mess up anything.”

The car ride back to her house was quiet and long. Malcolm sat in the back with me
, holding my hand. I didn’t want him touching me, but I didn’t say anything. When we got there, both sets of parents were asking questions and expressing concern. They wanted to drive me home, but I was able to convince them I was okay. I didn’t want them there; none of them should ever set foot on his property.