Fiendish: A Twisted Fairytale (43 page)

“I don
’t have any, or if I do they aren’t worth shit. I want to see the good in a person. To always give them the benefit of the doubt. I tend to not see, or not want to see, what is usually staring me right in the face.” I walked over and took a seat on the bench. I was tired, hungry, and cold. “I don’t know you Seth because…because you don’t want me to.” I closed my eyes, letting the truth of my words hang in the air between us. I’d hoped he would say something to discount them, but he didn’t. “Just leave me here. I’ll call Macy to come get me.”

***

I looked at Calida. She looked sad and fragile sitting there.
 She wanted to know me, or she at least believed she wanted to. I leaned against the railing, watching as she kept her head down, waiting on me to leave.

“Why would I leave you here?”
 

“Because I don
’t have it in me to waste another four years of my life with a man that doesn’t lo…respect me. Been there, done that, and in the end, I was left more damaged than I could have ever imagined.”

“Who says they
’d be wasted?” 

Calida looked over at me, giving me a clear view of the stress written all over her face.
 I could see that even though she knew she probably should walk away, something kept her here, kept her with me. Something that had nothing to do with
my
obsessive inability to let her go.

“I do.
 You don’t trust me, Seth. It’s more than the fact you get over the top jealous should I breathe in a man’s direction. It’s how much you don’t share about yourself with me. You stay closed off and private but expect me to be an open book. We have nothing without mutual trust in each other, so what’s the point of prolonging the inevitable?” She sounded so resolute when she spoke, almost as if she clearly saw the end, but it wasn’t an end I agreed with.

“What do you want to know?”

She looked up at me, shocked momentarily at the opening I’d given her. “I don’t know, Seth. Something, anything that could make me feel like I’m not the only one trying here. Something to make me feel like you want me to really know who you are. I mean I don’t even know your middle name or your birthday. Who are your friends? Other than reading and playing the piano, what are your hobbies? I want to know what makes you the man that you are. I need to.” 

Her face reflected the emotion of her words.
 One of her many endearing qualities: I could always see exactly how she was feeling, even when she tried to hide it. 
This is dangerous territory. Opening yourself up to her is inviting trouble. 
Not opening up to her was pushing her away. I needed to give her a lifeline because she was drowning and unable to save herself. 

“I
’ve shared more with you than I have with anyone. You know more about me than you realize.”

“I highly doubt that,” she retorted sarcastically. 

I pushed off the railing and walked the short distance to kneel in front of her.

“My name is Seth Damien Jokobi.
 I was born on October 31, so I recently just turned thirty. I’m a Scorpio, and I love the color red.” I gently fingered her hair which brought a small smile to her lips. “My parents were Damien and Rose, and they died in a car accident shortly before my seventeenth birthday. I am an accomplished pianist thanks to the tutelage of my mother. I have black belts in Karate, Tae-Kwon Do, Jiu Jitsu, and Judo as well as dabbling in several other martial arts. I am a
decent
cook. I love to read, and some of my fondest memories as a child come from watching Indiana Jones with my mother, I think she had a crush on Harrison Ford. When my father was away on business, we would go on adventures around the house, complete with the hat and the whip.”  I got up and sat beside her on the bench.

 
“Calida, I don’t do relationships, or sharing, or heart-to-heart talks. That’s not who or what I am. I lead a very private, routine, and controlled life. I need that control, yet you, my beautiful Ms. Alexander, you are chaos personified. You insist on testing me, pushing me to the brink of that control. I don’t like how that makes me feel and that leaves me acting slightly erratic as I try to deal and adjust.”

Calida scampered into my lap then kissed me.
 My arms circled around her, enjoying the feel of her in my arms. 

“I wasn
’t trying to cause chaos in your life. I didn’t know that was what I was doing,” she whispered. A solitary tear rolled down her cheek.

“Why are you crying?”
 I inquired, wiping it away.

“You just told me I disrupt your routine and controlled life.
 I only know how to be me, and that me doesn’t seem to be compatible to your you. So where does that leave us?” 

She rested her head on my shoulder as she sat cradled in my arms.
 I held her, thinking over the weight of her words, hearing the sense of defeat laced within them. 

“It leaves us starting over,”
 I said, stroking her hair. “I have a better understanding of what you need from me. Walking away from something I want has never been an option, and I won’t let it be one now. Therefore I will find a way to make your you very compatible to my me.”

Chapter 33

“Seth, no I don
’t wanna,”Anna cried and squirmed beneath me. 

I don
’t know why she was complaining now. She said she wanted to play, and now she wanted to cry because she didn’t like the game. Her mom didn’t cry when Father did it to her. Her mom moaned and begged for more, so why was she crying? I fumbled, trying to push up her dress. Father made this look so easy, but she squirmed and cried. 

“Stop moving,” I hissed, but she wouldn
’t. 

Instead, she bit my arm then shoved me hard, making me roll off. After fumbling with the door, she managed to open it, sobbing loudly. Mom was
locked away in the music room. She always was when Helen was ‘cleaning’ Father’s study.

“I…I
’m tellin on you!” she wailed, running down the hall.

“Anna, you
’d better not!” I yelled, running after her. 

She was almost to the stairs, bawling loudly. Mom
’s music filled the hall, drowning out her calls to her mother. Not like she would hear her anyway. She was probably still ‘cleaning’ Father’s study. 

“Anna, get back here!”

“No, I’m tellin’!”

I ran harder, trying to grab the back of her dress, but I ended up pushing her in the back.  She stumbled forward and let out a loud yell as she tumbled down the stairs. I watched as she fell, bouncing off the hard, cold marble of the steps. Her head hit the rail with a sickening thump. Finally, she landed at the bottom, her body in a crumpled heap on the floor.
 Blood oozed from her head, staining the hard woods. Helen would have to do a lot of scrubbing to clean that. I watched from the top of the stairs as the blood puddle beneath her head grew larger. She wasn’t moving, but at least her crying had stopped. Suddenly, her eyes popped open and she stared at me.

“Why, Seth?”

I woke up in a cold sweat, breathing hard. Running my hands through my hair, I struggled to get my breathing under control. I hadn’t thought about Anna in years, and now I had a fucking dream about her?

“What the hell was that?” I muttered to myself.
Your conscience.
I got out of bed and stalked towards the bathroom to splash some cold water on my face. Conscience? That’s something I didn’t deal with.
Until now
.
It’s her; she’s doing this to you
. Grabbing a towel from the rack, I dried my face then tossed it into the sink. 

“This has nothing to do with her,” I said to my reflection.
It has everything to do with her.
It was quiet, deathly quiet. There weren’t even the sounds of crickets chirping outside. There was just my breathing, the rhythmic in and out filling the space around me. 

Silence, something I
’d enjoyed before, the peace and serenity of it now seemed to plague me, magnifying the solitude of my life. Emptiness. That’s what I felt every time she was gone.  Flipping out the light, I climbed back into bed. Calida stirred slightly as I wrapped my arms around her, bringing her body flush with mine. She wiggled her body, letting out a contented sigh as she got comfortable against me.

“Hmm…the sun
’s not even up yet,” she murmured sleepily.

“I
’m an early riser,” I whispered, planting soft kisses on her shoulder.

“Yes, I can feel that.” Her voice was full of humor as she wiggled her butt against me again.

That was all it took for me to flip her onto her back. She had no chance to react or protest before I had buried myself deep within the warm folds of her body. My hands slid under her hips, lifting them to meet my thrusts. Her arms circled my neck, and her nails dug into my flesh which only intensified the desperate need I had at that moment to wipe all other thoughts from my mind and lose myself with her. 

My hips pushed forward, and she wrapped her legs around my waist, helping to drive me deeper. We moved together in perfect rhythm, she knew what I needed. Her arms tightened around me while the moans of her pleasure filled my ears. 

“Seth…ah…S..eth…,” Her hands clung to me as she arched her back.

I felt her body convulse around me, squeezing me, bringing me close
r to my own release. Burying my face in her neck with a final thrust, I let out a groan as I quickly pulled out, spilling my seed on the sheets. I remained on top of her, supporting most of my weight on my elbows, as we both got our breathing under control.

“Well, I guess I
’m up now,” she said, laughing as I rolled off her. 

“You brought that on yourself with the way you wiggled your delectable derrière against me.” 

She moved closer to me, propping up on her elbow. 

“What do you want to do today?” I asked, smoothing her hair from her face. She gave a small shrug of her shoulders. “There
’s nothing you want to do?” She chewed on her thumbnail while she thought about it.

“Well, I would love to go riding again. But…”

“But what?”

“It would be last minute, and I
’m not sure if the owners would be prepared for visitors. I don’t know what kind of arrangements you had to make last time.”

Hooking my finger in the top of the blanket, I slowly lowered it down. Her nipples puckered when the cool air hit them.

“I’m sure the owner can be persuaded to accommodate a short-notice visitor.” 

Her face contorted in confusion as she pulled the blanket back up. Wordlessly, she pulled away from me and slid towards the edge of the bed.

“Where are you going?”

“To take a shower.”

“Ah, the shower. You have excellent powers of persuasion.” 

Calida looked back at me
with a mix of shock and relief on her face. “I thought...oh nevermind what I thought,” she said, her face turning a beautiful shade of red. 

“He bought it for my mother. She wanted me to learn riding, so he bought a ranch. Rick and Vanessa are the caretakers.”

“Oh. Why not just get you lessons?”

“Because that would have been what everyone else did for their child.
  He always needed to be and do more. Plus, I think she liked the idea of having a small country home to get away to.” Climbing out of bed, I walked around to stand in front of her. “Now, Ms. Alexander, I believe there was some persuading you needed to be doing.” Her face lit up as she dropped the covers and took my hand.

“Yes, Mr. Jokobi, I believe you are correct.”

***

“Why so quiet?” Seth asked as we drove.

“No reason.” 

“Obviously something is on your mind.”

I looked over, giving him a slight smile before reaching for the radio knob. Only after I’d turned on the system did I worry he might get upset, but he said nothing.

“How are things with you and Macy?” he asked, turning the volume so low the music could barely be heard.

“They’re good.”

He looked at me as if he didn
’t believe that statement. I returned my attention to the window, absently twirling my hair around my finger. In truth things, were better, but still strained a little, with Macy. I let out a little sigh as I thought back to that night. When I’d gotten back from talking to Seth she was waiting up for me. 

*

“Alright, Lee you need to tell me what the hell is going on!” she’d demanded as soon as I walked in the door.

“Mace, I
’m tired. Please, can we talk tomorrow?” 

Without warning, she
’d grabbed my arm, looking me over. I had no clue what she was doing but finally smacked her hand away when she went to lift the back of my shirt.

“What the hell? What are you doing?”