Fearless (8 page)

He wrapped his arms around her waist and held her tight, lifting her off the ground. He couldn’t do it. He wasn’t strong enough to let her go. He buried his face in her neck, determined to use every trick in his arsenal to make her stay.

He nibbled the hollow of her neck as he flattened her between the car and his body. His tongue urgently sought to make her forget about leaving as his mouth pleaded for one more chance to make her change her mind. He cupped her face with his hands, plundering her mouth with his tongue. He was desperate, urgent, out of control.

She flattened her palms against his chest, pushing him away. “Stop, we can’t do this,” she panted, turning her head to the side. “I have to go.”

He let her feel what she was doing to him. “Don’t go. Please, just give me tonight.”

She shook her head, pushing him further away. “We can’t. It would be a mistake. You were right last night.”

He groaned, glancing at her swollen lips. “I was an idiot last night. I should have made love to you, slowly, gently. I could have made you forget...” He tasted her lips again and she groaned into his mouth. He drew her closer, reaching up the front of her top.

“I want you, Josh...”

His hand found the closure at the front of her bra. He couldn’t wait to get her naked. “Let’s go inside...”

“No, I meant what I said. We can’t do this.”

He forced himself to take a deep breath. Damn it. If he let her go now, he knew he wouldn’t get this chance again. “I need you,” he whispered. He pressed his arousal into her abdomen to prove his point.

She dropped her head and chuckled against his chest. “You don’t need me; what you need is a cold shower.”  

“God, Lex, do you have any idea how good it could be between us?” He had no doubt she was everything in bed that she was out of it: sexy, daring, determined.

“Don’t you think I know that?” she whispered. “That’s what scares me. If I made love to you, I know I couldn’t just walk away, but I also know I couldn’t give you what you need. You said it yourself last night; you don’t want to share me.”

He hated that she was using his own words to douse his passion. But she was right. Once would never be enough, and it would kill him to know someone else was sharing her body while she was sharing his bed. He would likely kill his rival with his bare hands and spend the rest of his life in jail. They had to end this now, before he did something he’d regret.

He took a step back. “Okay, go now, before I change my mind.”

“Josh...”

“I mean it. You need to go now.” He stalked up the stairs and slammed the entrance door so hard it rattled the frame.

It had been seven days, seven wasted days, seven sleepless nights since the night at his cabin and still Josh was no closer to moving on. He told himself it shouldn’t be this hard; they weren’t in a relationship, had never even slept together. Yet he felt a vital part of his life was missing.

He’d come to rely on the daily phone calls and regular text messages. Hell, he’d come to rely on her.

“Hey, you okay, Josh?” Trey asked.

Trey and Sierra were back from their brief honeymoon, and he had invited Luc and Josh to Jimmy’s to see a new singer his record label had their eye on. He had tried to beg off, but Trey told him if he didn’t want to go as his friend, fine, but he had to go as his bodyguard. That was a crock since, as his head of security, Josh wasn’t obligated to act as his personal bodyguard unless the situation was considered high risk, but he had been too tired to argue the point, so he just hopped in the car, closed his eyes, and pretended to be asleep to avoid conversation.  

“Yeah, just tired,” he said, not bothering to open his eyes.

“That would explain why you look like shit,” Luc said, nudging his knee with the heel of his boot. They were travelling by limo tonight, which meant they had too much space and too little to occupy their time.

Josh scraped his hands over his face. “That must be it.”

Trey laughed. “You sure it doesn’t have something to do with my sister-in-law?”  

He knew the inquisition was coming, had been waiting for it. Whoever said women liked to talk an issue to death hadn’t met these guys. When they wanted information, they were relentless.

“Can we talk about something else?” Josh asked.

“If you messed things up with sexy Lexi, I’d like to take a shot at her,” Luc said.

Josh opened one eye to glare at him. He knew his friend wouldn’t cross that line, but he wasn’t in the mood for his tasteless jokes. “How ‘bout I kick your ass right here, man?” Taking out his frustration would feel good, but he knew better than to use his fists as weapons.

He had spent years earning a third-degree black belt, and if there was one thing he had learned during that time, it was to practice restraint. Unfortunately, he’d been holding on to his control by a tether for the past week, and he feared if someone looked at him sideways, it might snap and all hell would break loose.

Luc laughed. “Relax. I’m just messin’ with ya, Josh.”

“So this is about Lexi?” Trey asked. “Why don’t you just talk to her, work it out?”

He shook his head. If only it were that easy. How could two people agree to disagree about whether they wanted to spend their lives together? “We’re just not on the same page, Trey. It doesn’t matter how much time we waste talking about it; it’s not gonna change anything.”

Trey scanned his phone. “That’s a damn shame. I think you and Lexi would be great together. She needs someone like you in her life, someone she can count on.” He sent a text message and set his phone on the seat beside him.

“Yeah, well, she only wants me in her life as a friend with benefits.” He leaned his head against the headrest. “God, I hate that term. What the hell does that even mean?”

Luc chuckled. “In guy speak, it means you’ve hit the jackpot.”

Josh laced his fingers behind his head and stared at his friend. “I may have agreed with you twenty years ago, but I’m not a kid anymore. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life alone. Do you?”

Luc shifted in his seat, looking uncomfortable. “I like my life the way it is. If you wanna get hitched, be my guest, but it’s not for me.”

Trey tossed a bottle of water at Luc, catching him in the chest. “That’s because you’re too stupid to know a good thing when you’ve got it. Trust me, when you’ve lost it, you’ll kick yourself in the ass.”

Luc shrugged. “Marisa says she’s through with me, but I’m not buyin’ it. Give her time, she’ll be back.”

“What if she doesn’t come back?” Josh asked. “What if you really have lost her? Can you live with that?”  

The limo pulled up in front of Jimmy’s bar before Luc could respond.

There was a line snaking around the side of the building, and Josh knew he would have to be on his game to control the crowd once they caught sight of Trey. Maybe the distraction would help take his mind off his problems. 

The limo driver spoke to the bouncers, who held the crowds at bay while they exited the car and made their way inside the bar. Once inside, the crowd, who was occupied dancing and listening to the live band, gave them a wide berth as they claimed a booth in the back of the bar.

It didn’t take long for Josh to notice Marisa, Sierra, and Lexi seated at a table near the stage. He wasn’t surprised to see her there. Jimmy’s had been one of her favourite haunts whenever she visited Nashville.

He had to accept the fact they were going to see each other; they shared mutual friends. He was just going to have to learn how to live with the dull ache in his chest whenever she entered his line of vision.

“Thanks for nothing,” Josh said, shaking his head in disgust.

Trey slid into the booth first so he was ensconced against the wall and away from the crowd.

“You’re gonna have to see her sooner or later. We thought you might as well get it over with so you can quit moping around like someone ran over your dog.”

He slid in beside Trey. “It would have been nice if you’d given me a heads up.”

“Quit whining,” Luc said, beckoning the waitress. “Just shut up and have a beer.”

“I don’t drink when I’m working, you know that,” Josh said. Though a Jack Daniels may be exactly what he needed to ease the knot in his gut.

“Might help you to relax; either that, or try getting laid,” Luc said, grabbing the bowl of peanuts in the middle of the table.

Josh looked around the bar. There were dozens of beautiful, sexy, single women who looked like they were here for a good time. Unfortunately, none could measure up to Lexi. He watched her talking and laughing with Sierra and Marisa. He wondered if she’d noticed him or if she even cared that he was there.

“Just go over there already,” Trey said, nudging his arm.

“Too late,” Luc said, pointing to the ladies’ table. “Some other dude beat you to it.”

Josh looked over to see a slim blond guy wearing jeans and cowboy boots hold out his hand to Lexi. She shook her head to decline his invitation and Josh silently thanked fate for intervening.

But his gratitude was short-lived when she got up and slipped her hand into his, allowing him to lead her onto the dance floor.

“Doesn’t that just beat all?” Josh said, covering his face with his hands. “Can we get the hell outta here now?”

“No way,” Luc said, popping a peanut into his mouth. “The show is just getting started.”

Josh looked over at the table again to see Marisa following another cowboy onto the dance floor.

He looked at Luc and smiled. “Guess it’s true what they say, what goes around comes around. Looks like you’re about to get yours, my friend.”

Luc scowled at the couple on the dance floor. “Who the hell is that loser your sister is dancing with, Trey?”

Trey spun around to look at the man in question. “Oh, that’s Tim Mitchell. They own the ranch down the road from our folks. He’s had a thing for Marisa for as long as I can remember. His Mama and Daddy are still holdin’ out hope she’ll be their daughter-in-law one day.”

Luc laced his fingers and cracked his knuckles. “I wouldn’t bet the ranch on it if I were them.”

Trey laughed and dipped into the peanut bowl. “Why the hell not? She could do a lot worse.”

Trey grinned. “Tim’s a good guy, good husband material.”

Luc glared at his friend across the table. “You son of a bitch, you would actually encourage her to hook up with that guy, wouldn’t you?”

Trey shrugged. “Why not? You said you’re not interested.” He looked Luc in the eye. “And I’m getting sick of you jerkin’ her around. If you don’t want her, you need to get the hell out of the way so she can find someone who does.” 

“You need to mind your own damned business,” Luc warned, leaning across the table.

“My sister is my business.”

Josh was not in the mood to act as their referee tonight. “If you guys wanna settle this, step outside. You’re drawing a crowd.” He wished they would have at it so he would have an excuse to leave.

“I wouldn’t waste my time,” Trey said. “We all know I could kick his ass.”

Luc threw his head back and laughed. “Not on your best day, buddy.  Hey, there’s Avery.” He lifted his hand to draw her attention.

“I didn’t know she was going to be here,” Trey said.

“Yeah, I want her to check out this new singer your label is looking at. I think I’m gonna represent him and I want Avery to act as his publicist.” Luc sighed, watching her walk toward them. “Tell me again why I dumped her.”

“Same reason she and I didn’t last; we were both in love with other women. Poor girl, I’m surprised she didn’t swear off men after what we put her through.” Trey looked at Josh. “More importantly, I’m indebted to her for cleaning up all the messes I’ve made. She’s the best damn publicist in the business. Don’t know what I would have done without her these past few years.”

Luc chuckled. “You can say that again, man. You’ve been a colossal screw-up lately. Without Avery, people would be asking, ‘Who’s Trey Turner again? Oh yeah, he’s that country crooner who ended up in re-hab.’”

Trey grimaced. “Thanks for the vote of confidence. But I don’t think I would have let it get to that point.”

“Who are you trying to kid, man? If you hadn’t gotten back with Sierra when you did, Avery would have had to be a magician to repair your image.” Luc looked at Josh. “What do you think of Avery?”

Josh looked at the woman in question. She was warding off the advances of drunken cowboys as she tried to make her way toward their table. She was gorgeous, smart, and sexy. But she wasn’t Lexi. “She’s okay, I guess.”

Luc rolled his eyes. “In what universe would that woman be considered okay? She’s smokin’.”

Josh shelled a peanut and popped it into his mouth. “If you like her so much, you ask her out.”

He would give his classic Corvette to be anywhere else. He couldn’t stand to listen to his friends’ well-meaning advice while he watched the woman he loved cozying up to another man on the dance floor.

Luc grinned. “I just might do that.” He glanced at the dance floor. “Marisa seems to think she’s the only one who can have a little fun on the side. I think I’ll have to show her that two can play that game.”

Trey threw a peanut at him. “This isn’t a game, dumbass. This is her life. Not to mention yours. And you’re not gonna use Avery as a pawn in your twisted game. We’ve already put her through enough.”

Avery slid into the booth beside Luc. “I noticed you boys were dry so I told the waitress to set us up.” She looked at Trey. “Ginger ale for you, right?”

He nodded. “Yes, ma’am. I’ve got a baby on the way and a beautiful new wife to keep me on the straight and narrow.” 

She smiled. “Glad to hear it. I meant to tell you, the wedding was beautiful. I just approved the publicity photos today. Wait ‘til you see them; Sierra looks gorgeous.”

Trey looked over at his bride. He winked when he caught her eye. “She always looks gorgeous.”

Josh felt a pang of envy. He was happy for his friends, but he would give up everything he owned for a chance at what they shared.

“What’s got you so down, cowboy?” Avery asked, setting her phone down on the table between them. 

“Nothin’,” he muttered. It was bad enough his friends knew; he didn’t intend to share his plight with the world.