Everything I Shouldn't / Everything I Need (4 page)

The days leading up to my parents' funeral pass quickly and now it's time to make decisions about my future. David and both sets of my grandparents have been in dad's study for over an hour arguing about what to do with me. Jeremy's done everything he can think
of
to distract me, offering to take me to a movie, to drop me off at Livvie's house or bring her here to me, but nothing takes my mind off the fact that everyone is deciding what's going to happen to me - but me. I'm almost sixteen years old, why don't I get to have a say in any of this?

When I ask Jeremy, he just shrugs and says, "Little Bit, let the adults figure it out. Don't worry your pretty little head about it."

Seriously? It's like I'm back in the dark ages. I'm almost an adult, and I'm tired of not being heard. Slapping Jeremy's arm away from my shoulders, I stomp off toward where everyone is discussing me like I'm a problem no one wants to deal with. As I get closer to the door, I can hear bits of the conversation.

"David, you can't take care of a teenage girl. We can take her home with us. She'll be closer to you in Asheville than she is here," my Granny, mom's mother says.

Before David can respond, my MawMaw, dad's mom, huffs, "If he wants to be close to her, she should come stay with us, Winston Salem is closer to Charlotte than Asheville."

Both sets of grandparents start to argue over who should take me, each throwing insults at the other and I just want to put my hands over my ears so I don't have to listen to all the bickering. Jeremy walks up beside me like he's scared I'm going to run away, and tries to cajole me back to the den. With a shake of my head, I start to open the office door when my brother's voice booms above my grandparents.

"Enough!" he shouts. "I love you all, but Sarah Beth is my sister, and she's my responsibility. If she's going to be with anyone, it will be
me
." The entire room is silent after he speaks, and I push the door open to walk in. Five heads turn to me, all of them differing variations of upset. David's arms are crossed over his chest and he looks ready to fight anyone who goes against him. Both of my grandmothers have tears running down their faces and are being comforted by my grandfathers who look like they've aged ten years since they got here earlier this week. I can feel Jeremy at my back even though he isn't touching me, and squaring my shoulders I look at each person in turn.

"Please stop arguing over me. I'll do whatever you guys decide." My voice is small and I sound defeated, but right now, I just want the arguing to end. This week has been awful, and I'm so tired.

David's face softens before he walks over to take my hands in his, "Sarah, you don't really want to move away do you? You don't have to leave this house, or your friends. You can finish school here. I'll move back home to take care of you, we'll be together." He's pleading with me to say yes as I look around the room at all the people who want me to choose them.

Turning back to my brother, I try to explain what's going through my head. "I don't want to leave here, but you can't give up your life. You have a job, friends, a girlfriend. I'll be fine."

With a shake of his head David bends so that he's eye level with me. "SB, I won't be giving up anything to move back here. I don't care about a job, or a couple of friends. Not even a girlfriend would stop me from wanting to take care of you. This is what I want to do. I want you to stay here, in the house we grew up in, with the friends you've known your whole life." He pleads with me, "Please, let me do this. Let me take care of you." Tears I didn't know were there waiting begin to course down my cheeks as I try to comprehend the fact that he is being completely honest. He wants to come home to be with me.

Jeremy clears his throat, "You won't be coming back alone D. If you're moving home to be with her, I'm coming with you."

"
No
!" Granny says forcefully. "Absolutely not! Sarah is almost sixteen years old, and the last thing she needs is to see how twenty-six year old men act." Leveling a glare at my brother, she points at him and continues, "You will not raise your sister alone in a house with a grown man who isn't related to her."

David rolls his eyes, "Gran, Jeremy has been around SB her whole life. She's as much his little sister as she is mine. We both love her, and isn't being surrounded by people who love her what you want for her?" He knows he's won at this point. How can she argue with that?

"I don't why you call her that god-awful nickname. Your parents gave her a beautiful name and you refer to her by her initials," Granny grumbles. David smiles at her, knowing he's won now. She hasn't got an argument that can go up against the love he and Jeremy have for me.

The next day, David and Jeremy leave to go back to Charlotte for the rest of their belongings, leaving me with Granny and Pops. I'm expecting her to try to dissuade me from staying here, but whenever she starts to say anything, Pops shakes his head and she sighs and says nothing further. My brother is gone for three days, and when they return to Nashville, Jeremy starts looking for a job immediately, while David discusses plans for opening his own bar with PawPaw. I miss my parents every single day, but I'm thankful David chose to come home for me and brought his best friend with him.

Jeremy

S
B is finally (her words - not mine) sixteen, and she's been waiting for over a week for David to take her to get her license. Unfortunately, all of his time has been spent looking at potential places to open a bar with the money his parents left him in their will. David figured that since he enjoyed the bar scene and bar tending so much in Charlotte, that he'd open a bar in Nashville, a place where there's practically a bar on every corner. Their grandfather is an extremely successful businessman and was happy to help David come up with a business plan, find investors, and find a location to start this venture, but David drew the line at outside investors. He wants the bar to be all his own; the location, the name, the logo, he didn't want help with any of it. The only part I was involved in was the architectural aspect. Any design decisions to be made were on me. But, I couldn't do anything until he made a decision and at the time he was looking at three properties and could not make up his mind.

I'd found a job at Moriarty, Stanbridge and Westlake pretty quickly thanks to a recommendation letter written by my old firm, even though I left with no notice. The fact that I finished the project I was working on at the time by telecommuting and short trips back to Charlotte helped them understand that, for me, family came first. With David so busy, he had no time to take SarahBeth to get a license and I couldn't take her because I wasn't her guardian. Finally, after the third time he'd promised to take her after school, only to call me because something came up, SB had had enough.

When she sees me in the car line at school instead of David, her eyes narrow, her mouth turns down into a frown, and she practically breaks the door on my poor car. Muttering under her breath, she slams her book bag onto the floor between her legs and sits back in the seat crossing her arms over her chest. "I guess he's busy again isn't he?" She's trying to sound pissed off, but instead she's almost in tears.

Running a hand through my hair, I sigh, "You know he's doing his best. Getting Drench up and running is his top priority right now." That is obviously the absolute wrong thing to say because her lip quivers and she turns to look out the passenger window.

"Why did he even come back here then?" she asks, her voice thick with unshed tears. "I barely even get to see him, Jeremy. I've spent more time with you this month than I have him, and he never does what he says he's going to. He should have just let me go home with Granny."

I reach over to pat her leg, not sure how to comfort her, but silently cursing David to hell for putting her through this. She needs her brother, not me, to be there for her, to do the things he said he was going to. I know there is going to be one hell of an argument tonight over this shit because I can't let him keep disappointing her. She's hurting, and I hate it. At the moment, I hate my best friend a little for treating her so callously. Between trying to get the bar going, and dealing with Amy and her long-distance drama, SarahBeth is the last thing on David's mind when she should be the first.

"I'll talk to him tonight Little Bit, I promise." Hearing the vehement tone of my voice, she relaxes slightly, uncrossing her arms and wiping the tears from her cheeks. "How about we go practice your driving? I can't take you for the test, but I can make damn sure you're going to ace it when you get there."

A smile blooms across her face, and it's the first time I feel a pang in my chest because of her. Seeing her so happy makes me smile "Really?" she asks excitedly, turning slightly in the seat to face me. "Are you sure you want to take me driving?"

"I wouldn't offer if I didn't Little Bit. I just want to see you smile." I tug her ponytail lightly, returning her smile with one of my own, happy she isn't crying any longer. This is one thing I
can
do; entertain her and take her mind off of everything that is going on.

The first Thanksgiving without her parents is tough. She is bound and determined that she's going to make dinner for David and me. Talk about a disaster. Liz was an amazing cook, and she'd been trying to teach SB before she died. Unfortunately, SB was more interested in clothes, her friends, and boys to pay much attention. Boy, does it show today.

SarahBeth spent the two weeks leading up to Thanksgiving going through her mom's recipe box to figure out everything she would need to make the "perfect" dinner. After dragging David to the grocery store to get supplies for Turkey, Mashed Potatoes, Sweet Potato Casserole, and her grandmother's homemade stuffing, she realized she'd forgotten to get the stuff to make Pumpkin and Pecan pies. She didn't want to ask him again, so I get to be the lucky bastard to trail behind her at the store. Unfortunately, this is the night before Thanksgiving, so there isn't much to pick from. SB is determined that she isn't going to use canned pumpkin in the pie since Liz never did, but there aren't any pie pumpkins to be found.

I'm not sure who created hormones for teenage girls, but after living with SarahBeth, I'd really like ten minutes alone with them in a dark alley. Seriously. It's like living with a ticking time bomb and all the wires are the same color. I can say something to her one day and she finds it hilarious. The next, it pisses her off and then she's crying. I don't know how anyone puts up with it. I'm going to have grey hair before I'm thirty at this rate.

When I tell SarahBeth that she'd have to use canned pumpkin, providing they even had any of that left, she loses it. A normal person would have sucked it up and went looking for canned pumpkin. Not SarahBeth though. Nope. Instead, SarahBeth sits on the floor, her head in her hands and cries like she just lost her best friend. And of course, I have no idea which wire to clip to stop the bomb. My only choice is to sit down beside her on the grungy floor and pull her into my arms.

"Shhh, Little Bit. Using canned pumpkin really isn't that big a deal. David will never even notice." I'm so lost when it comes to comforting a young girl.

Sniffling, SarahBeth looks up at me to whisper, "But, I'll know it's not the same. I just wanted everything to be perfect Jeremy, and now it's all ruined!" Burying her head in my chest, her tiny hands clutch my shirt in her fists and she begins to cry harder. The only thing I can do is continue to murmur nonsense to her about how everything will be perfect, and her canned pumpkin will taste just as good as the real thing while rubbing my hand up and down her back.

Then, just as quickly as it started, the crying is over and SarahBeth wipes her eyes as she stands. "Okay, let's go find canned pumpkin," she says, like the last ten minutes never happened. She quickly walks away, leaving me sitting on the floor, my jaw dropped open, staring after her.

Once we've gotten everything she forgot the first time, we head back to the house to start getting things ready. SarahBeth starts peeling vegetables and boiling water on the stove while studying her mother's recipes for instructions on how to do everything. She won't let me help, and heaven forbid I offer a suggestion, so I quickly get out of her way. Watching a movie in the den is a much safer way to spend the rest of my night.