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	David Crutton – 1/13/00, 3:14pm
to:	Ravi Basnital
cc:
re:	silence is golden

It has been a glorious ninety-five hours and thirty-four minutes since I had an e-mail from Pertti van Helden. Well done. I am sparing in my praise so you might want to frame this note.

	[email protected] 1/13/00, 3:29pm (7:29pm local)
to:	[email protected]
cc:
re:	LOVE

You can tell David that in the course of my chequered career I have been on eighty-six location shoots and never once returned without a commercial. I have waited out seventeen days of monsoon rain in Indonesia with only 200 Silk Cut, three Harold Robbins novels and a tireless local waiter to keep me going. I have watched Amazonian leeches glue themselves to a model hired only for her matchless complexion. Still, I waltzed off with a gold at the British Television Awards. And I have witnessed my leading actress and her hairdresser plunge to their deaths in the Dolomites, all in the cause of ending flyaway frizz. I am not about to let a piffling typhoon ruin my track record.

Tomorrow the wind can blow away camera, focus puller and director (in fact, the petulant way the latter has been behaving, I rather hope it does). If I have to borrow a camcorder from a hotel guest and shoot this fucking script myself, then that is precisely what I will do.

	Nigel Godley – 1/13/00, 3:34pm
to:	Zoë Clarke
cc:
re:	only me!

Chuffed to make the acquaintance of PA to the CEO. I must be going up in the world! It was a shame you couldn’t watch MSTV, but I’m
glad I could bring you up to speed. Would you like to borrow my VHS copy for home-viewing purposes? Perhaps we could have a quick bite one lunchtime and I could fill you in some more on the fascinating history of Miller Shanks. I think you would find the knowledge a boon in developing your relationship with your lord and master.

Nige

	Zoë Clarke – 1/13/00, 3:50pm
to:	Lorraine Pallister
cc:
re:	Godley

Thanks a bloody million!!!!! Now the little creep wants to take me to lunch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’d rather have got all the questions wrong and been fired!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

	Letitia Hegg / [email protected] 1/13/00, 4:12pm
to:	[email protected]
cc:
re:	lunch

I called Susi but the little waif had gone home sick. I spoke to Lorraine – she sounds a friendly northern wench – and booked a slot in your busy, busy schedule. I’ve got you all to myself for lunch next Tuesday. Do you fancy the Greenhouse? I haven’t been there for aeons and I hear tell they have a gifted new chef who can perform miracles with a loin chop.

By the way, I’m sending the two Watford girls’ book to Pinki. She said you were distinctly interested. I’m thrilled at your change of mind after you damned them last week. I said this to your resident hippie and I’ll say it to you: if you desire them, you will have to move like Ben Johnson on triple-strength steroids. Beattie wants them at TBWA and I’d be astonished if they turned down the bubble-permed God.

	[email protected] 1/13/00, 4:19pm
to:	[email protected] [email protected]
cc:
re:	timesheets

I have been checking my records and found that neither of you have completed any timesheets since September ’98. Please could you let me have these straight away. I must stress the importance of the prompt return of timesheets for the efficient management of the company’s accounts. I know it seems like a chore, but I find that if you make a game of it (for example, compile a simple league table to see which accounts you spend most hours on), it can be fun.

Sorry to be a nag, but we all have a job to do.

Nige

PS: Your cat can’t get enough of the tripe I cooked him, Vince!

	[email protected] 1/13/00, 4:22pm (8:22pm local)
to:	[email protected]
cc:
re:	READ THIS NOW!

IT IS IMPERATIVE THAT YOU RECALL THAT PORTFOLIO IMMEDIATELY. PINKI IS UNDER STRICT INSTRUCTIONS NOT TO LOOK AT POTENTIAL RECRUITS. I CANNOT OVERSTRESS THE IMPORTANCE OF THIS E-MAIL.

	[email protected] 1/13/00, 4:27pm (8:27pm local)
to:	[email protected]
cc:
re:	Kitty and Jane