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Authors: Matt Beaumont

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David Crutton – 1/14/00, 9:07am
to:
Pinki Fallon
cc:
 
re:
Coke

Are you trying to threaten me? That is funny.

[email protected] 1/14/00, 9:13am
to:
[email protected]
cc:
 
re:
Kitty Bates and Jane Backer

Hi Letitia.

We want to offer Kitty and Jane a job at Miller Shanks. There is a gap in our resources that we need to fill urgently and we think they have the flair that we’re looking for. We would like to offer them £20,000 each. I know this is slightly above average, but we do think they are a bit special.

Could you convey the news to them as soon as possible and let me know their reaction?

Ta . . . 

[email protected] 1/14/00, 9:26am
to:
[email protected]
cc:
 
re:
Cliffhanger III

I know you’ll be sunning yourselves on the beach now watching cameras roll and tits jiggle, but got to bring you up to date, Pinki hit
Crutton first thing with the case against Horne. Apparently he turned purpler than Barney the purple dinosaur’s big, purple knob and threw his lava lamp at the wall. When he calmed down he told Pinki to hire the Watford birds. Even if they won’t come he wants to present the campaign anyway – guess it was too much to hope that he’d actually have a conscience under that £1,500 suit. Makes no odds though, because he’s definitely going to waste Horne.

More news as it comes in.

Lorraine Pallister – 1/14/00, 9:49am
to:
Liam O’Keefe
cc:
 
re:
you will not believe this

If you stick your head out your door and peer down the corridor you’ll see Susi-cide dressed tit to toe in pastel pink (pink tights?!). She gave me this really weird smile as she sat down. What the fuck is she doing here? I’m frightened.

Letitia Hegg / [email protected] 1/14/00, 10:00am
to:
[email protected]
cc:
 
re:
Kitty Bates and Jane Backer

Pinki, darling, nothing thrills me more than when my babies are the objects of lustful desire. But are you absolutely sure? One minute you are gasping “yes, yes, yes,” the next Simon is yelling “over my dead body.” What is a girl to think?

Anyhow, this is academic now. The little winkles were buying drinks for all and sundry at the Lamb & Flag last night to celebrate their acquisition of a job at TBWA. Beattie has taken them on at 18k so I don’t think a couple of grand will change their minds.

I’m sorry you missed the boat, but I have dozens of other teams for you to fall head-over-heels in love with. Give the word and I will drown you in a sea of black, zip-up portfolios.

Letty

Pinki Fallon – 1/14/00, 10:03am
to:
Zoë Clarke
cc:
 
re:
urgent

I know David is in a meeting, but tell him I’m coming to see him right away . . . 

Susi Judge-Davis – 1/14/00, 10:11am
to:
Rachel Stevenson
Pinki Fallon
cc:
Simon Horne
David Crutton
re:
an apology

My breakdown yesterday has given me a chance to reflect upon certain things. I now realise that I may have over-reacted to certain events lately, and I would like to apologise if I have given anybody unnecessary cause for concern. I have been under a great deal of strain but I know that we are all under similar pressures and that it is wrong to rise to provocation. I would be grateful if you would give me the opportunity to remind you that I do have the qualities required of a member of Team Miller Shanks.

Yours truly,

Susi Judge-Davis

[email protected] 1/14/00, 10:16am (2:16pm local)
to:
[email protected]
cc:
 
re:
Coke

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