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Authors: Matt Beaumont

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Friday, January 7th

Harriet Greenbaum – 1/7/00, 8:02am
to:
James Gregory
Katie Philpott
Liam O’Keefe
Pinki Fallon
cc:
 
re:
Mako

Morning all. Mako run-through in the boardroom in ten. See you there.

Pinki Fallon – 1/7/00, 8:06am
to:
Harriet Greenbaum
cc:
 
re:
Mako

I’ll be a few minutes late. I’m re-writing one of the headlines to refer to Olivia Newton-John rather than TLC. Liam apologises. Says it was late and doesn’t know what came over him . . . 

Simon Horne – 1/7/00, 8:35am
to:
David Crutton
cc:
 
re:
LOVE

David, I have just arrived to apply the final coat of lacquer to “IT’S IN THE CAN” and I have read your e-mail.

I am wounded that you think I would abandon ship in our hour of need. I have agonised deeply over this decision.

Let me, if I may, set out my reasons.

You have said yourself that my
idée grande
solves the Coke problem.

This morning I have new scripts to show you which will provide the creative heart of our pitch. The donkey work I leave for my department of willing and able bodies.

Mauritius may be the other side of the world but it is only a double click’s distance via mouse. My laptop flies with me and I have had Melinda upgrade our hotel simply to obtain me a suite equipped with videophone and facsimile.

This will form Mission Control for the assault on Coke.

I have also had Melinda book me onto
every
return flight to Britain. In the event that you need me in the flesh, shout and I will be straight back.

If you think I am going for the “jollies” you are mistaken. Mauritius was deleted from my wish list of destinations when Celine was attacked there by a Chinese croupier with a blackjack paddle.

She is still unable to talk about it.

I am going simply out of duty.

Vince and Brett are too grass-green to carry the weight of this shoot on their shoulders.

Besides which, while I would hate to steal their thunder, it was my inspiration that led to their LOVE script. I worry that they could not interpret my vision alone.

I hope this allays your suspicion that I have somehow been derelict in my responsibilities. Naturally, if you still feel I should be here, I will amend my plans in a jiffy.

Si

Simon Horne – 1/7/00, 8:46am
to:
Melinda Sheridan
cc:
 
re:
LOVE

Mel, upgrade me immediately to a suite at le Touessrok. And make sure it is replete with videophone, fax and PC modem.

Then book me a seat on
every
flight back to the UK.

Should David ask, tell
une petite mensonge blanche
and mention that I requested said items yesterday.

David Crutton – 1/7/00, 8:58am
to:
All Departments
cc:
 
re:
Dagenham crap

Would someone, anyone, like to tell me why there’s a Ford Mondeo in reception. I nearly broke my leg on it. And, should our Mako client see it, he will surely fire us. Whoever is responsible, have it removed. You have half an hour before our client arrives.

David Crutton

CEO

Harriet Greenbaum – 1/7/00, 9:03am
to:
David Crutton
cc:
 
re:
Dagenham crap

David, you may recall phoning me at 11:00 last night with the quite brilliant suggestion that we put a Mondeo in reception to confront the Mako client with the serious competition he faces when he launches his new car. As a result James and Katie busted guts through the early hours to locate a cherry red car (you were most specific about the colour) and have it placed in reception for this morning’s presentation. Have you any idea how difficult it is to find specialists in the removal of plate glass at 3:30am? However, you were calling
from what sounded like a very noisy bar, so perhaps I misheard you. Would you still like the vehicle removed?

Ken Perry – 1/7/00, 9:06am
to:
All Departments
cc:
 
re:
the car in reception

I have to endorse David Crutton’s remarks concerning the car in the reception area. If I may refer you to my all staff e-mail of 01/03/00 re new carpet tiles, it is a good example of the type of load that Dudley Kositredd was not designed to carry. As such it invalidates the extended warranty obtained from the fitters.

Thank you for your co-operation, and it is good to be back amongst you.

Ken Perry

Office Administrator

Brett Topowlski – 1/7/00, 9:09am
to:
All Departments
cc:
 
re:
the car in reception

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