e (74 page)

After I have first booked the Ivy, where we can remember past glories and drink to those to come.

Si

	Shanice Duff – 1/13/00, 11:59am
to:	All Departments
cc:
re:	MSTV

Ken Perry has asked me to let you know that because of a small medical emergency on the creative floor, the start of MSTV has been put back by half an hour. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Shanice

	[email protected] 1/13/00, 12:10pm (4:10pm local)
to:	[email protected]
cc:
re:	there is work to be done

My apologies for the somewhat harsh e-mail earlier.

But it was for your own good, dear heart.

Sometimes a sharp slap to the cheek is the only way to bring the hysteric to her senses. I hope you have returned to your eminently rational old self, because there is important work to do.

As I mentioned earlier, my back is exposed.

The enemy is looking for the most tender spot into which to plunge the stiletto.

Here is what you must focus on: as well as the movements of the opportunist Pinki, keep an eye on the machinations of Harriet.

And if Letitia Hegg does not call you within thirty minutes to arrange a tryst, then phone her and diarise a time.

Keep me informed, my darling.

And stay Gillette-sharp.

Our careers depend upon it.

	Zoë Clarke – 1/13/00, 12:14pm
to:	Lorraine Pallister
cc:
re:	999

What’s going on?!!! David has chained me to the desk or else I’d have rushed down!!! I heard the ambulance!!!!!!! Is Susi dead?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You didn’t, did you?!!!!!!!!!! Tell me, tell me, tell me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

	David Crutton – 1/13/00, 12:15pm
to:	Pinki Fallon
cc:
re:	can’t you keep order?

What is going on? We can do without the building turning into the set of
ER.
It has thrown the whole day out. I thought you could run the department without resorting to Simon’s melodramatics. Maybe I was wrong.

	[email protected] 1/13/00, 12:17pm
to:	[email protected]
cc:
re:	long time, no see

Surprise, surprise – a friendly letter after the last time we met. As I remember it, I was being dragged away as you hid under a table at the Grosvenor. Well, I was shit-faced, and what is D&AD without at least one punch up?

You haven’t changed a bit, have you?

You’re still writing.

In those very.

Short.

Para’s in the vague.

Hope.

That this will lend your.

Words more.

Profundity.

Than they actually.

Possess.

And if I read between your lines, you seem to be implying that I would actually leave Abbott Mead Vickers for Miller Shanks – swap an agency that’s won more awards than you can shake a fucking big stick at for one, erm, one that has
you
working for it.

Fucking brilliant idea, mate. When can I start?

While you’re reminiscing about our Spanish shoot, that was a certifiable fiasco. Our bloody ad was the reason Happi Snax went titsup.
A tiny company like that had no business spending 750k on one thirty-second film.

Weird that we don’t speak for years and you just happen to write the day after I have lunch with one of your suits (sharp cookie, that Harriet). If I told you Crutton was taking me to la Mirabelle next week would you send me flowers?

Barry

P.S. I’ve just remembered your nickname at O&M. “AS SEEN ON TV.” Shagged any cute drag queens lately?

	[email protected] 1/13/00, 12:21pm (4:21pm local)
to:	[email protected]
cc:
re:	there is work to be done

Susi, where are you? Speak to me, darling.

	[email protected] 1/13/00, 12:22pm (4:22pm local)
to:	[email protected]
cc:
re:	THE PLAN

Vin’s back from the bar and he’s steaming mad. He has a plan. It’s not subtle and it won’t get us our jobs back. But it’ll make sure we leave with mile-wide grins. Sorry if it makes life a mite hairy for you over the next few days, but you’ll enjoy it all the same.

	[email protected] 1/13/00, 12:33pm (4:33pm local)
to:	[email protected]
cc:
bcc:	[email protected]
re:	Coke

Hi, Pinki. Vince and me have thought a lot about what we’re going to tell you, and it hasn’t been an easy decision. We don’t want to get anyone into bother, but we think you should know all the facts.

Liam told us about the Coke idea that Simon had and that you’re working up for the pitch. As soon as he mentioned it, we had a feeling of déjà vu. After a bit we worked out why. Two girls called Jane Backer and Kitty Bates dropped their book off for Simon last year. We sneaked a look at it and they’d done a campaign for 7UP. The line was “IT’S IN THE CAN.” We don’t want to point the finger or anything, and it might just be coincidence. But we were talking to Letitia Hegg earlier. She mentioned that Simon was at her place last week looking at folios, and we know she’s been punting Jane’s and Kitty’s around town.

Like we said, we don’t want to make any wild accusations. But we think that for the sake of Miller Shanks you should check it out before you go too far down the road with things. You might reckon that because we’re in the crap at the moment we’re just doing this out of spite. We’re not. We were students ourselves two years ago and we know what it’s like to be exploited. Anyway, while it’s no secret that we don’t have a lot of time for Simon, we know that you have put a lot of hard work into the Coke campaign, and if it turns out to be someone else’s idea, you know how shit sticks.