Don’t Forget to Remember Me (37 page)

“But…wasn’t it hard? I
mean, it’s been killing me being this close to you without, you
know, being
with
you.”

“Julia,” I sighed softly and pulled her
tight against me. Her naked body was warm and soft against mine and
I wanted her again. “Yes, it was agony. Being near you and not
touching you drove me crazy with wanting you,” I whispered and
touched the tip of her nose with my fingertip. “It was all I could
do not to murder the guys you dated.”

“You were jealous.” She smiled softly, her
emerald eyes sparkling. I nodded. “Some things haven’t
changed.”

“I’ve always thought of you as mine.”

“When did we fess up?”

“When I got accepted to
Harvard, there was no denying it anymore. The prospect of being
apart hurt so muc
h;
I couldn’t breathe
when I got the acceptance letter. All I could think about was being
away from you.”

“I can imagine I felt the same way, hmmm?”
She snuggled into me and placed a sucking, open-mouthed, kiss where
my neck met my shoulder.

“Completely, yes. Only…You had some
hare-brained idea that we should stay away from each other those
last two months to get acclimated to separation. Hmmph. I was a
moron for allowing it.”

“Yes,” she agreed and cocked an eyebrow at
me. “How could you let me be so stupid, Matthews?”

“Don’t you mean how
could
we
be so stupid?” She looked
so happy, her face and chest flushed from the aftermath of our
lovemaking.

“Good question. I must
have wised-up because I convinced you that you needed to move to
New York. However, shortly afterward, you got a job offer that put
you in L.A. for six months. We burned up the phone lines until
finally we admitted our real feelings…we made love for the first
time and then there was no choice but to do whatever was necessary
to get closer to each other.” My hand continued to move over her
body, exploring every inch of her exposed skin with leisurely
slowness. “Still, New York was too far.” Her features were calm as
she listened intently, running little patterns on my chest with her
index finger. It seemed safe to continue. “As you may have guessed,
I was planning on moving to New York for my residency after
graduation so we could be together.
Finally
.”

I stopped before I told her about the
engagement or Paris. I bent to kiss her, letting my tongue enter
her mouth and once again covered her body with my own. “Uhhh…It
feels good to finally be able to talk to you about some of this,” I
said as the kiss ended.

“What about Paris?” she asked
hesitantly.

“How do you know…?” I was nervous that it
might lead to thoughts of the baby. I mentally stopped. Sometime
I’d have to deal with her grief…and mine. Just not on this perfect
night.

“Meredith asked if I wanted to go to Paris
when we talked on the phone and then I remembered.”

“
What
came back?” I asked anxiously.

She shrugged. “The offer to go to Paris; the
job and my stupidity at even considering leaving you.” Her eyes
flashed and I touched her cheek again. “How do you put up with
me?”

“Well,” I smirked, “I’m hopelessly in love
with you. You see, I have no choice.”

“Yeah. You’re
so
helpless, Matthews,” she teased with a
smirk. “Can’t we still do that?”

Move to Paris?
I
needed clarification. “Do what?”

“Move in together.” Relief consumed me. “You
can still do your residency in New York, right?” Her hands were
sliding over my butt muscles kneading and pulling me closer into
her and I swelled against her even more. God, I loved her.

I
sighed
;
my chest
filling until I thought my lungs would burst. “If that’s what you
want. Nothing would make me happier, Julia.”

“I want you. Always.” She pressed her pelvis
toward mine and I groaned. “See?” The corners of her mouth lifted
but her deep green eyes were serious as she stared into mine.

“Obviously, the feeling’s mutual.” I took
her hand and brought it to my erection. Her eyes widened and she
hesitated just a second before her hand closed around it and her
thumb rubbed over the head. “Mmm…that feels amazing.”

“You’re so sexy. The things you say, your
voice, you’re so beautiful, I just…”

“Mmmm. You’re all of those things and more.”
I shifted her, moving her body beneath mine, her legs parted and
the searing heat coming off of her burned me alive.

“This time…you’ve swept me
completely off of my feet. Who could resist the most gorgeous man
in the world, saying such tender things,
and
saving my life? And to top it all off…you tell me
you’re in love with me. I’m completely at your mercy.”

Sadness tempered the
ecstasy of the moment. “You didn’t really get to experience it
twice…baby,” I said sadly, despite my intense state
of
arousal.

She looked up at me with
intent eyes, trailing her fingers down my cheek. “No…But
you
did. So please, don’t be
sad.”

My eyes widened as the
verity of her words stunned me.
She was
right
. Everything about being with her was a
gift.
How could I have been so damn blind?

“You’re incredible,” I said after a
moment.

“Ryan…” I could see the concern in her eyes
because of the show of emotions flashing over my face.

“Thank you, Julia.” I rested my head next to
hers and breathed in her sweet scent as I closed my eyes.
“Just…thank you.”

“For what?” Her fingers stroking the back of
my head felt like heaven.

“For
forcing
this. For making me get my head out of my ass and
for coming back to me. Because, you
are
back now, Julia. This is how we
are. You’re still my baby. Maybe it will work to my benefit that
you can’t remember everything. I might be able to get by with
more,” I teased.

Her eyes sparkled with laughter, even as I
tried to blink away the tears in my own.

“Don’t count on it,” she shot back.

I chuckled. Who was I kidding? She gave me
everything I wanted…then and now.

Calm spread through me. I
now had clarity from all the confusion. I knew what I wanted…what
had to happen. My hand closed around the fingers of her left hand
and I kissed the inside of her wrist and then the top of her hand.
I held it there, brushing my lips over her skin. She looked
satisfied and happy. I knew without a doubt that she was mine
forever. Whether she remembered or not
;
I
wanted nothing more than to be her husband
and the
father of her children. We’d talk, but now, I
wanted to just
feel
.

“Let’s make love again,” I
murmured against her mouth, my body pressing into her warm wetness
and growing so hard the pulsing
caused
a
painful ache. It was ridiculous how Julia made me want and want and
want. Her hands were pressing on my shoulders and I looked down at
her in confusion. “Do you want me to stop?”

“Never. I want to taste you. Will you let
me?” she asked, as she continued to push me until I was lying back
on the pillows. She bit her lip and moved above me. “I may not be
very good at it, but I want to try.”

My body tightened, engorging to the point of
pain at her words, and my eyes fell to her mouth. That sweet mouth
that could take me to heaven or hell.

“Oh, sweetheart,” I gasped
as her hands roamed over my chest and abdomen, her fingers grazing
my nipples before stroking lower and closing around me.
“Ugh…you’re
amazing
at it,” I
moaned softly.

“It must be because I love you so much,
then. You’re so hot, Ryan. So gorgeous. I could look at you
forever.”

She squeezed and pulled and finally bent to
take me in her mouth. So hot and wet…just exquisite. My head fell
back against the pillows as I let her take me over, losing myself
in the delicious sensations.

“Uh…” I grunted as her tongue circled and
teased the head before she took me in deep and sucked hard. Over
and over she tormented me with teasing licks and then long strokes
up and down until I could barely stand it. My fingers threaded
through her hair because I had to touch her, even as she brought me
closer and closer to the edge of release. “Julia…Ahh…baby it’s so
good. Too good.”

“Mmmm…Ryan,” she breathed against me and
then ran her tongue down my length. “I can taste you…It’s familiar,
I remember it, babe.”

“Stop or you’ll make me come too fast. It’s
too much.” It only made her more determined to take me over the
edge. The fingers of her left hand splayed out on the muscles of my
chest as she pressed me back down and I was helpless to resist.
“Uhhh…I love you, baby,” I groaned out as her mouth and hands
continued with their magic. My body coiled and throbbed and I knew
it was over. I couldn’t stop it even if I wanted to. “Oh, God…uh,
I’m gonna come…” She didn’t let up, taking me deep, her lips so hot
and tight around me as I released hard into her mouth and throat.
Her muscles contracted, her forehead resting on my stomach and I
couldn’t help thrusting deeper into her mouth as she took every
drop. Physically and emotionally, I was overwhelmed. This was the
woman I loved more than life, giving with such abandon. My legs
trembled and when I finally relaxed after the orgasm subsided, I
was breathing hard and my arms felt empty.

“Julia…come here.” She released me and wiped
her mouth with the back of her hand. I sat up and gathered her
close until she was lying on top of me, her head resting on my
chest and stomach. She continued to place kisses on my stomach and
her hot breath rushed over my skin.

“Do you know how much I
love you?” I asked thickly. Her arms tightened around me and she
nodded before looking up into my face. Her eyes were filled with
tears. “More than anything in the world.” My own throat stuck on
the words and my arms tightened around her. I loved the feeling of
her breasts pressed into my chest, her legs entwined with
mine.
It was real. It was perfect, and it
was us
. “I
really
love you, Julia. You give me
everything and you’re all I want.” My fingers brushed her
hair
away as
I bent to kiss her
forehead.

Her shoulders were shaking. She was crying,
but not in sorrow.

“Ryan,” she said thickly. “I can’t imagine
that I loved you any more before the accident, did I?”

“No. It’s always been sort of surreal.
It’s…unbelievable.”

Julia’s hot breath washed over my skin and
my hand ran through her hair to smooth the satin strands out on her
back over and over to soothe her. The candle still flickered softly
and the music played. I couldn’t bring myself to get up in order to
turn it off.

“Yeah. I
really
love you, too.” We stayed like
that, stroking and softly breathing in the aftermath of our
lovemaking. No more words were needed as we slowly drifted to
sleep. We’d already said it all.

*****

I woke to the smell of
bacon and coffee, my arms searched the bed for Julia. I rolled onto
my back and threw my arm over my eyes.
Of course she
won’t be here, she’s making breakfast, dickhead;
I chastised myself and grinned like a fool. Last night had
been incredible. Every time I touched her, heaven.

I grunted, crawled off the bed and pulled on
my jeans. I didn’t bother with underwear, I was too anxious to get
to my girl.

At the stove, her back to me, Julia hummed
softly as she cooked. I pulled out one of the stools at the counter
bar and sat down. The scuffing of the chair on the floor startled
her. She jumped and turned quickly. Her legs were bare and she had
on one of my t-shirts, coming to mid-thigh. “Mmmm…You look good
enough to eat,” I murmured and leaned on the counter toward
her.

“Maybe later,” she teased.

“Promise?” I pulled at the crotch of my
jeans which were getting uncomfortable at the reaction of my body.
Jesus, we’d made love all night and, still, I wanted more.

“Long cruise, was it sailor?” She chuckled
and cocked an eyebrow as she set a small plate of toast in front of
me. I picked up a piece and took a huge bite.

“Yeah. Too long,” I said seriously. “Let’s
not do that again.”

Julia took the eggs from the skillet and
placed them on two plates with the bacon, some chopped fruit and
hash browns.

“Well, now that I see what I’ve been
missing…I don’t intend to be missing it.” Her eyes were sparkling
as she placed a plate in front of me and pulled the juice from the
refrigerator. As I watched her every move, I decided I didn’t want
another minute without her. She plopped down next to me and picked
up her fork. Without speaking, my hand found a place over my heart
on my bare chest. I sucked in my breath and my heart exploded.

“Julia.”

“Hmmm?” she said distractedly as she took
her first bite. When I didn’t answer, her eyes flew to mine. “Ryan,
what is it?”

“Julia…will you marry me?”

“Yeah,” she lifted her
left
hand
in front of my face and waved it
around. “See?” She smiled sweetly and leaned in to place a kiss on
my mouth. My lips parted and my fingers flittered across her
check.

“Yes, but I don’t want to wait. I love you
and we’ve been apart too long…waited too long,” I said
urgently.