Don’t Forget to Remember Me (41 page)

“Are your parents there yet?”

“Yeah. They got in around four o’clock and
are so excited to see you.”

“I can’t wait to see them,
too. Elyse said she may take the train down on Wednesday and ride
back with Ellie and me
on Thursday
morning. It would be really nice to spend extra time getting to
know her again.” I wiped at my leaky eyes with a tissue. My
emotions were fragile. “I
really
miss you. How did we manage this
before?”

“It’s harder this time, even for me.” The
ache in his voice echoed mine. “Julia…Are you crying? You’re not
having second thoughts, are you?”

“Oh, Ryan. No.” My heart stopped at the
thought. “I’m working on my vows. It overwhelms me a little.”

“Yes. I wasn’t sure how to put it all in
thirty seconds worth of words.”

I loved that velvet voice as he spoke my
thoughts aloud. I never heard quite that tone when he spoke to
anyone else. It was one he used on the phone when he missed me, or
when he made such sweet, tender love to me. The rustling in the
background told me he was rolling over as he let out a deep sigh.
“Nothing can do it justice anyway. I can’t find the words to tell
you.”

I smiled despite the tears. “Should we write
them together?”

“Honey…I’m tempted, but no. Is that okay? I
want you to hear them for the first time during the ceremony. Am I
a sap?”

“I still don’t understand where you came
from. Too wonderful to be real.”

“I can’t wait to see you in your dress. I’ve
been dreaming of it forever. There is nothing in the world I want
more than to marry you, my love.”

The tears rolled unabashed down my face, the
emotion so overwhelming it threatened to choke off my breath. I
couldn’t speak.

“Julia?”

“Y…yes. I’m here.”

“Baby, are you okay? I wish I was touching
you right now.”

“I’m okay. I’m fine, just anxious.” I
cleared my throat and sat up, hoping I could stop crying, wiping at
my tears with my free hand. “How does it feel to be finished with
school, Dr. Matthews?”

He chuckled softly. “Great, actually, but I
still have to take my boards and graduate before I’m official,
sweet.”

“Mmmm…Well, lots of things are becoming
official these days.”

“Yes. How is work? Is Meredith being easy on
you?”

“I’m energized to be back at it; but Andrea
is so efficient, I’m wondering if they really need me.” I couldn’t
hide my disappointment.

“You’ll be back into it soon enough, but I
don’t want you overdoing it.”

“
Please
. I’m perfectly fine. Stop
being so overprotective.”

“You love that about me.” The laughter in
his voice was unmistakable.

“One of many things.” I giggled into the
phone. “Ryan, Mike offered to take the pictures and I thought it
was very sweet of him. What do you think about that?”

His laughter died and the silence was
deafening. “Ryan?”

“Uh…I guess. If that’s what you want.”

“He’s very good and, he’d
be able to get the prints turned around quickly. He said he’d fly
here on Friday to get some shots of me in the dress. It’s by some
famous designer that Ellie lined up and an original, so we may be
using the photos in the mag at some point.
Please
?”

“No naked pictures in sheets, unless I’m
naked with you, understand?” he teased.

I laughed again. “Hey…you love that picture,
so stop complaining already.”

“I do love it. I’m looking at it right
now.”

Thud.

“What about the lingerie? Do you want…?”

“Uh…” he began hesitantly.

“Just for you, not the mag.”

“Was that Turner’s idea?” he said rather
shortly.

“Never mind. It was a stupid idea. I just
remembered how happy you were before and I thought…it would make a
nice wedding present.”

“You remembered it
all
?” His voice was full
of questions.

“That Christmas. Every beautiful
detail.”

“Okay. I would like the pictures, if I’m
honest. But, if he touches you, I’ll beat the shit out of him, so
tell him going in.”

I smirked. “Don’t worry. Ellie will be
there. She’s coming in tomorrow.”

“Aaron and Tanner are arranging this big
bachelor party and Jen wants a girl’s night out with anyone who’s
in town, including our moms. Will you be up for that?”

“I don’t know. I won’t be there until early
Thursday. There’s so much to do, so maybe, but I’ll have to play it
by ear. Harris will be there with his band, so please include them,
okay?”

“I’m not a schmuck, babe. I talked to him
already.”

“Okay, I should have known.”

“Julia…In one week, we’ll
be
married
by
this time.” His excitement made my heart do flip-flops. I actually
had goose bumps wash over my arms.

“I know. It’s a dream.”

“I love that you think so, too. I miss
you.”

“Miss you more. Sweetie, I want to keep
talking, but I need to finish the vows. They have to be as perfect
as the man I’m writing them for, right?”

“Are you gonna start crying again?”

“Probably, yeah.”

“Mmmm. I’m sure I’ll cry like a baby when I
hear them, too.”

“You think?”

“I’m sure they’ll
be…
aamaaazing.
More than I could
hope for.”

I sighed into the phone. “Ryan, when you say
things like that I just…miss you so much.”

“Well, if you’d have done
as your man asked, I’d be making love to you right now. I’m not
letting you out of my
sight
after this.
Ever.”

“Promise?”

“Mmmm, yes. You know the next time I make
love to you, you’ll be my wife.”

My heart thumped loudly as tears
overflowed.

“My
wife
,” he whispered again. “Always mine.
You didn’t forget to remember me, did you?”

My breath hitched on his words. “Never. I’m
glad you wouldn’t agree to the double wedding. You were right. My
focus is totally on you. Even if we were the only two there, it
couldn’t mean more to me.”

“Julia. No one else will exist in that
moment. I love you like crazy.”

“I know,” I said, smiling softly. Whether I
was worthy or not, I knew that he loved me and I was ready for a
lifetime more to come. “Just us.”

*****

“Ellie!” I squealed when she finally
arrived. “Oh, my God! What did you bring?” I asked after we hugged
tightly. Her eyes danced as she flitted inside and instructed the
cab driver to deposit her bags in the middle of my living room,
with three huge white boxes.

She handed him a fifty and
then turned toward me. “Well? I had to give you choices, but I’m
pretty positive which one you’ll choose. Ryan is
dead
, I’m telling you!
You’ll kill him when he sees you.” We were giddy and giggling,
hugging and jumping up and down. “
Finally,
the boy is going to make an honest woman of
you.”

When we drew back, we were both crying. She
wiped an errant tear away quickly and rushed toward the boxes and
began opening them. She proceeded to pull one after another of the
white dress bags out and hang them up in my closet, bringing them
one by one into my bedroom and carefully opened them. I felt like a
kid at Christmas, grateful to have such a good friend.

“Ellie…thank you.” I grabbed her hand and
stopped her in the middle of her task. She looked up with a
tremulous smile.

“Julia, give me a break. Of course, there’s
nowhere I’d rather be. I love you.”

“I love you, too. Everyone is so…I just…I
mean,” I stumbled around the words as I sank down on the bed, her
fingers parting the wrappings on the first dress, revealing a soft,
shimmery white silk. “I’m so blessed. All of you are so amazing.
Ryan and I are so thankful.”

“I need a drink! All this blubbering will do
me in. Do you have a bottle of wine?”

I nodded and wiped my eyes, trying to laugh.
“Yes. I’ll get it.”

“No red, Julia, okay? We don’t need any
accidents.”

“Sure. White it is. I’ll be right back.” I
jumped up and ran into the other room, gathering two glasses, a
corkscrew and a bottle of Pinot Grigio from the refrigerator.

The first dress was completely unwrapped
when I walked back to the bedroom. Very simple and elegant with
very little embellishment, the dress relied completely on the lines
and fabric for effect. It was a big dress with a full ball gown
skirt.

“So? Do you want to try it on?” I nodded and
Ellie proceeded to produce a bevy of foundation lingerie and she
quickly had me suited up. The fabric was a fine raw silk, with a
deep v-neckline and a large array of handmade silk roses at the
left side of the waist. The layers of petticoats were heavy and too
much for my small frame.

Ellie was shaking her head as she read my
mind. “Nope. Too much dress for you, Jules.”

My hands smoothed over the delicate fabric,
feeling its richness. I nodded in slight regret. “Yes. But, it’s so
beautiful.”

The next one was a trumpet style that hugged
my curves all the way down before flaring out at the knees. I
didn’t like the way I looked in it. “I feel fat. I’m sorry, Ellie.
All this shirring…I guess.”

She deftly undid the buttons and the zipper.
“No worries, but you’re far from fat, Julia.” A bright smile split
her face, her grey eyes lit up as she brought out the last dress
for me to see.

My mouth fell open as the wrappings fell
away.

“Oh…Ellie!” I said softly,
my hand reaching out to touch the delicate sequined lace, my
heart thumping
so loudly that Ellie must’ve
heard.

“Exactly,” she said smugly. “I knew it. This
is it and you haven’t even tried it on yet. Like I said, Ryan’s a
goner.”

*****

The week passed and we
were finally on our way back to Boston. My parents were flying in
the same day. Harris and his bandmates had trekked across the
country in the new bus their record company had provided and were
set to play at our reception. Elyse had helped Jenna finalize the
details for the ceremony and Ryan and Gabe
picked
out the tuxedos. Ellie cranked up the stereo and
we sang at the top or our lungs during the drive. We had an
absolute blast, just like old times.

I didn’t bring much with me, save the chosen
dress and veil, some lingerie for the wedding night and three
changes of clothes for the rehearsal, graduation and traveling back
to New York.

When we pulled into Ryan and Aaron’s
neighborhood, anxiousness overwhelmed me. The culmination of the
last eight years; the friendship, the love…the pain suffered
through separation and all Ryan had gone through during my recovery
made my heart squeeze inside my chest. My parents came rushing out
of the front door to enfold me in their arms. My mother was crying
and my dad lifted me off my feet and twirled me around.

“Oh, I missed you guys! I’m so glad to see
you!” I gasped, glancing over Dad’s shoulder to see Ryan leaning up
against the porch railing, watching intently, a big smile on his
face. “Just a second!” I kissed them both and then bolted toward
Ryan who started moving toward me the minute I left my father’s
arms.

“Oh, baby.” His strong
arms enfolded me as I jumped into his arms, my legs wrapping around
his waist. “I missed you every second. Only 53 more hours, Julia,”
he said so softly, only I could hear, the spicy scent of his soap
mingled with the smell of his skin. His blue eyes were brilliant
and
shining
with happiness. He was
gorgeous!

“Get your mouth on mine, this instant,” I
said happily. He laughed and then complied with relish, his mouth
closing over mine in a deep, open-mouthed kiss. I moaned into his
mouth.

“Mmmm…You taste so good.” His arms tightened
around me and his hand pressed into the back of my head as I felt
his lips on my temple and closed my eyes. “I love you.”

Aaron emerged behind us, groaning in
exaggeration. “Will you look at what I’ve had to put up with?
Sickening,” he laughed. The others joined in as he went toward my
car and gathered Ellie up in a big bear hug. “Little bit! You’re
here!”

She laughed loudly. “Aaron! Where’s
Jen?”

“Working. She’s got the rest of the weekend
off, and is very anxious to see you. Where’s Harris?”

“Getting in later this evening. He won’t
miss the bachelor party, I promise!!” Ellie said.

The rest of the afternoon
went by in a blur and soon it was time for the boys to leave. Elyse
and Gabriel arrived an hour before and
the girls decided
to go get manicures and pedicures early the next
morning in lieu of going out. It was so long since we’d all been
together, and I just wanted to talk to them. Meredith and Andrea
were coming into town tomorrow and Mike was taking my portraits
before the rehearsal. The next day was the wedding and Ryan and
Aaron’s Harvard graduation on Sunday afternoon.

We sat around and gabbed
about the men, laughed, and got a little tipsy on champagne
cocktails. Ellie and Jen fell asleep in Aaron’s bedroom as I sat
quietly with Mom and Elyse for a few minutes, talking about the
wedding and graduation, the past, and the beautiful man that would
become my husband. My thoughts must have been reflected on my face,
because Elyse reached out and took my hand. I was
lying
on the couch and she was in the chair next to it.
I glanced at her through teary eyes. “Thank you, Elyse. Truly. Ryan
is so amazing, and it’s due to you and Gabriel. You’re all so
remarkable. I’m so lucky to join your family.”