Dimitri's Forbidden Submissive (Submissive's Wish) (28 page)

She reached up to touch his face and he grabbed her hand. “If you’re not mad at me, why can’t I touch you?”

He placed her hand over his heart. “I am dirty, Rya. Filthy with sin and I do not want to taint you.”

The softness in her gaze undid him and he sucked in a harsh breath, fighting the intense emotions bombarding him. After living a lifetime filled with absolute control, with the cold isolation that he surrounded his heart with, he was ill equipped to handle her tenderness and his shame only deepened. He didn’t release her hand over his heart, but he couldn’t take the forgiveness he saw on her face. He had to make her understand how unworthy he was.

“Rya, I am bad for you. I make you do things you hate, make you endure things that hurt you. I do not deserve you.”

“Yeah, well, you don’t get to decide if I deserve you or not. I’m pissed at you, but I don’t hate you, I hate the situation that we’re in.” She sighed and gently caressed her fingers over his heart. “And I don’t want to waste what little time we have left together on bullshit like this. Right now I need you to take care of me, Dimitri. Please.”

He sucked in a harsh breath, taken aback by her lack of revulsion. Gathering himself, he shoved his darkness aside, trying to focus only on her light. He cupped her face and drew her close, rubbing his lips over hers. With all his heart he wished he was better with words and had the courage to tell her the truth. “
Ya lyublyu tyebya fsyem syertsem
.”

She softened beneath him, the tension leaving her body. “What does that mean?”

He wanted to tell her that he was falling in love with her, but that would only bring her more heart ache, so instead he said, “That you are the most beautiful woman in the world.”

After brushing his lips over hers he lifted himself from her. “Come.”

He took her into the bathroom and they showered together. Rya let him pamper her, allowed him to wash her, and cosset her in every way possible. He loved caring for her like this; it filled an empty spot in his heart that she so readily submitted to his touch. While he might not have the words to tell her how he felt, he certainly had the touch. Thoughts of his brother licking her pussy, of Nico fucking her mouth intruded but he focused only on Rya, and the inexpressible joy of having her in his arms. She was so small, so soft and feminine, it was no wonder Alex had quickly become so protective of her.

After meeting with Rya, Alex had been strangely quiet. When he finally spoke it was to tell Dimitri that he had a true treasure with Rya, that she was something special. He almost believed that his brother wanted Rya for his own, but then Alex began to talk about Jessica, something he never did, and how Rya reminded him of his dead wife. They were nothing alike physically. Jessica had been a svelte, stunning woman with deep auburn hair and milk-white skin; she reminded Dimitri of a fairy princess. Alex said they had the same unconditional love and kind heart, along with a core of strength that humbled him. The sorrow that filled his brother while he spoke about his dead wife reminded Dimitri how essential this ruse was even though he wished with all of his heart that he could spare Rya this pain.

Rya sighed softly while Dimitri dried her off and he hissed as he saw the welts rising along her ass and thighs. “He hurt you?”

“What?” She looked over her shoulder and smiled. “Nah, that’s not bad. I’ve had much worse.”

Unable to resist his need to soothe her, he kissed each abrasion, each discoloration of her golden skin. By the time he reached her thighs she was shifting restlessly against him. He thought she would have been worn out from her earlier sexual excess, but the flush in her cheeks and the hardness of her nipples told him a different story. Licking his way across her hip, he slowly kissed across the slight curve of her belly, delighting in her feminine shape. He loved her softness, loved the give of her flesh beneath his lips. But what he loved most of all was the way she threaded her fingers through his hair and whispered his name.

“Thank you for not being with another woman,” she said in a choked voice.

He glanced up at her before returning his mouth to worshiping her body. “I do not want another woman. You have ruined me, Rya. I look at them and all that I can see is that they are not you.”

“Oh, Dimitri.” She threaded her fingers through his hair, sending tingles racing through his body. “I only want you, but thank you for trying to make this as good for me as possible.”

The memory of his brother licking at her pussy sent an unexpected bolt of possessive anger through Dimitri. This was his woman, at least for the next few hours, and he hated the thought of anyone touching her after he left for Russia. The very idea made him savage and he shoved her back against the wall before lifting her and wrapping her legs around his waist.

Her gaze went soft and heavy as she smiled at him. “Hello, Master.”

“My little Rya,” he whispered against her lips before kissing her. “Who do you belong to?”

“You, Master.”

He gripped his cock with one hand and laced his other beneath her bottom before lowering her onto his shaft. “And I belong to you.”

She cried out softly as he entered her, but kept her gaze on his face. Working himself into her slowly, he groaned at the velvet grip of her bare pussy on him. Her body was perfection, made for him, designed to give him everything he needed. Without a doubt he was addicted to her and as he slid into her he let out a soul-deep groan at the sensation of coming home. Though he was not a spiritual man and was sure God had turned his back on him long ago, he could not help but think that as he entered her body she entered his soul, bringing light to his darkness.

Moving slowly at first, then faster, he drove into her, claiming her, possessing her, wanting her to feel every inch of him. Her first orgasm caught him by surprise and he had to bite his inner cheek to keep from joining her as she climaxed in his arms. The feel of her little nipples scraping against his chest, of her cunt contracting around him, was exquisite torture.

Once she stilled, she gave him a lazy, completely satisfied smile. “You’re an amazing lover.”

He smiled and carried her into the bedroom, his cock pressing into her with each of his steps. “It is you,
zaika moya
. Never have I felt anything like being inside of you.”

After laying her on her back, he suckled her nipples while fucking her to her next orgasm, biting down hard when she peaked and making her scream. Then he rolled them over so she was on top and when she came again, her breasts thrust out, her head thrown back with all her glorious dark hair trailing over his thighs, he joined her and swore his balls were turned inside out by the time he finished emptying himself into her soft sheath.

Leaning over her, their bodies still joined, he stroked her cheek. “If I make Russia safe for you, would you come to me?”

Her lovely golden eyes filled with tears and she nodded. “I would come to you even if it wasn’t safe.”

How he could at once feel like his heart was breaking and healing he did not understand, but at Rya’s words he became more determined than ever to end the feud and start a new life for both himself and his brother. Unfortunately, he had no idea how much time that would take. As long as his father was still around to potentially fuck things up he couldn’t take the risk of bringing Rya with him, but Dimitri could begin working on solidifying the alliances that would keep her safe.

“Rya, I do not know how long it will be before is safe for you.” He wanted to tell her that she belonged to him, that he would wait forever for her, but he couldn’t expect her to wait for him. “If you find happiness with other, I will understand.”

The tips of her fingers caressed his cheek, trailing over his beard as she examined his face. “Do you have any idea how long I would have to wait for?”

“Until my father die.”

“Why? What’s so important about his death?”

Slipping from her body, he sighed and rolled them over so she was draped over him. The softness of her full curves cushioning him was heaven on earth. “He is…insane.”

She raised her eyebrows. “Okay. Insane how?”

“He is on medication for—what is word in English—for believing things that are not real are real. He sees enemies where there are none, thinks there are plots against him if he goes off his medication.”

“Sounds like he’s psychotic.”

“I do not know if is right word, but when he is not on his medication he has done terrible things.”

“Like what?”

Shaking his head, he closed his eyes and blew out a harsh breath. “Terrible. Fortunately he has been good with his medication for last four years, but before that there was an episode where someone switch his pills, make him take fake pills. Before my father was stopped he…I cannot talk about it, but was bad. Right now, he is very sick and not expected to live more than another year.”

Rya made a soothing noise and began to stroke his chest, running her finger along the deep divide between his pectoral muscles. “What’s he sick with?”

“He is old man, in his nineties, and he has several types of cancers.”

“Oh, Dimitri, I’m so sorry.”

Opening his eyes, he looked up at her. “Do not feel sorry. He is monster.”

“Yes, but he’s still your father.”

Not liking the pang of guilt and sorrow mixing with his anger, he shook his head. “Do not give him sympathy.”

“I’m not sad for him, Dimitri, I’m sad for you.”

“Rya…” he tried to think of how to explain just how evil his father is, but right now he didn’t want to burden her with the history of his family.

She leaned down and kissed him, a soft, gentle stroke of her lips that made his cock start to fill with blood again. While he’d always had good recovery time, and enjoyed sex, it was like fulfilling a physical need akin to eating if he was hungry. With Rya, he was constantly starving, and he wanted to gorge himself on her affection.

“I’ll wait for you,” she whispered against his lips.

“Will not be forever,” he whispered back. “But will take time. If you find someone else to love, I will understand. I will hate him for all eternity, but I will understand.”

She nipped his lower lip hard enough to sting. “As if anyone could replace you. I don’t think you understand how deeply you’ve embedded yourself in my heart. I’ll wait for you, but if you find someone else please let me know.”

“There is no one else for me, Rya. You are my woman. Mine.” The last word came out with a growl and she giggled.

“You’re mine too, Dimitri.
Volk moy
.”

They made love three more times and by the time dawn started to break over the horizon he was physically and emotionally exhausted. Rya slept in his arms, having passed out after their last round of sex, and he stared down at her, trying to memorize every inch of her. Everything about her, from her golden skin to her tiny fingers, was perfect. Dressed in his shirt, she cuddled against him and slept like an innocent. Without a doubt she’d ruined him for all other women and he desperately tried to think of a way to bring her home with him now, but he would not risk her life.

He loved her too much.

With great reluctance he removed himself from her arms and his chest felt like someone had kicked him as she rolled over in her sleep and reached for him. It felt like he was dying as he got dressed and gathered his things, like he’d been poisoned and it was eating away at his body inch by inch. As he stood staring at Rya’s sleeping form he wondered if this was how Alex felt, and how his brother possibly managed to maintain his sanity. At least Dimitri would know Rya was out there, somewhere in the world, alive, waiting for him. He wanted to hit something, to destroy the opulent room around him at the thought of someone else earning her love, but at the same time he didn’t want her to be alone.

He debated saying goodbye to her, but if he saw her crying it would only make things worse. Better for a clean break. With that in mind, he quietly left the room and resumed his cold, ruthless mask, slipping back into the darkness that lived inside of him. The thought of never seeing her again was too painful, and as he made his way to where the helicopter idled—ready to take him, his brother, and Ilyena to the private jet waiting for them—he started to make a list of the things he would need to start on once he returned home. He didn’t care if he had to fight a thousand wars, or kill the Devil himself, he was going to move heaven and earth to bring Rya back to Russia to be with him where she belonged.

Eleven weeks later

Rya stiffened as someone leaned over and said, “Wow, that’s a great tattoo.”

She glared at her friend, Tawny, a platinum blonde with mile long legs and the mouth of a trucker. Tawny was Rya’s best friend and was even wilder than Rya, a true brat of a submissive. Last year, Tawny landed the cover of
Playboy’s
Biker Babes
edition and had spent the last six months doing a PR tour for the magazine. Normally, guys would be mobbing the beautiful blonde, but Tawny’s dad was the Ice Demons’ Secretary and he was very, very protective of his daughter which explained the group of Ice Demons club members playing pool on the other side of the room while keeping an eye on the women.

Rya hadn’t wanted to come to the bar, she would have been perfectly happy spending another night at home, but Tawny wasn’t having it. Instead she’d been dragged out by her friends who were determined to make her happy. She couldn’t tell her girls about Dimitri, couldn’t tell anyone, so they didn’t understand why she wanted to stay home on a Friday night.

Oh, she probably could have spoken with Tawny about it, but she didn’t want to endanger her friend. One of the first things she’d done when she returned home from the lodge was read everything she could about the Russian Bratva. What she learned scared the shit out of her to the point where she didn’t even talk to Rock about it. He seemed happy that Rya had forgotten about Dimitri and didn’t bring him up either. Thank God he hadn’t said anything to her mother about it. Rya’s mom was a fierce biker chick to the bone. If she thought someone was threatening her baby she was apt to go grab a gun and take care of them herself. It was better for everyone involved if Rya just pretended everything was normal and she wasn’t pining day and night for her Russian wolf.