Biker Faith (18 page)

“They say action is better than words
,” she argues in his defence.

“It would be nice to hear it. I told him the most humiliating part of my life and he walked away Alannah, he said nothing and walked away
.”

I begin to cry and she leans over and hugs me.

Before she can say anything Cas, and low and behold Sparky, walk in through the door. Alannah must have messaged Cas I was here.

“It’s about time you showed your fucking face
,” Alannah jumps up and shouts at Sparky. “Where the hell have you been that’s more important than being here with your sick, pregnant girlfriend?” she rants.

“Babe
,” Cas warns, going to her side.

“No. You were desperate to find out and you ran when you didn’t like what you heard…”

Sparky doesn’t say anything. He stands and takes everything she yells at him.

“I’m
gonna get her out of here before the nurse comes lookin’.”

“Cas, I’m perfectly fine in taking myself out thanks
,” Alannah hisses, shrugging out of his hold on her.

“Then move
,” he glares at her.

She hugs me one more time and throws a death glare at Sparky before
Cas half pushes her out the room, leaving us alone.

He pulls himself together and takes Alannah’s seat beside my bed.
He looks like he hasn’t shaved in a few days and he looks bone tired. I’ve never seen him with dark circles under his eyes before.

“How you
feelin’?” he finally asks.

“I feel better already.
I was dehydrated, and apparently they’re going to give me some anti-sickness pills to help with the morning sickness,” I tell him.

“That’s good, and the baby is okay?”

“The baby is fine. It takes after its father. It just likes me to feel like crap,” I say, not caring if I hurt him.

“I’m sorry Bon,
” he chokes, taking hold of my hand. “I want you to know I didn’t run from you. I ran for you,” he says.

“It doesn’t matter now
.”

“Of course it fuckin’ matters
.”

“It really doesn’t.
I’ve had enough time this last week to think.”

“Soun
ds like you had too much time,” he mumbles.

“I told you the only one who could really break me was you and you still left me alone after I told you about Tommy, that broke me above all else in my life. You said nothing and left
,” I cry.

I don’t want to cry but I can’t help it. It hurts too much.

“God Bonnie, I fucked up but I done it for you,” he pleads.

“I’m staying in town now, I think it’s best if we don’t see each other apart from baby appointments and of course I won’t ever stop you f
rom seeing him or her when it’s born,” I say, moving this forward.

I can’t back down now because he has turned up and apologized. If I do that I let him know he can do this to me again and again and I will forgive him. I can’t forgive him this time.

“You’re sure about this, aren’t ya?” he frowns.

“I’m not going to live worrying that one of us is going to leave when we hit a problem. All I want is for this little one to have stability, something I never had, something I don’t think us as a couple
we can give it. It shouldn’t be this hard to be happy together.”

He swallows hard and looks like he wants to say something. I keep quiet waiting but he doesn’t say a word.

He brings my hand to his mouth and kisses it softly before releasing it back on the bed.

When he stands he takes out his wallet and throws a bunch of cash on the bottom of the bed.

“Let me know when you need more,” he says, and his composure is back in place.

I nod and after a moment’s hesitation, he turns and leaves.

Once the door is shut, I release the breath that was stuck in my throat and cry heavy sobs until the nurse comes in five minutes later.

I thought running was har
d but watching Sparky walk away simply crushed me.

Chapter Eighteen

Sparky...

I never got to enjoy the high of ta
king Tommy out as it resulted in losing Bonnie all over again. I don’t regret taking his life and making him pay for what he done to her but I regret not going to her when she finally opened up about her past with the Ghost Riders. If I had gone to her I wouldn’t be sitting alone in my room trying to stay away from temptation. It took everything I had in me not to get wasted after I left her at the hospital a couple of weeks ago but I remained sober and returned the next day to take her back to the house she’s staying at. Neither of us knew what to say and neither of us barely looked at the other. I knew leaving her that night could ruin what we were starting to build together but I took a chance and it backfired on me. I didn’t even make it past the front door. It hurt something bad to see her pulling away from me. As I walked back to my truck that day I told myself I would do anything to prove to her I can be what she needs. She said she wants stability and that’s what I’m going to give her. Hence, why I’m sitting up here alone, not getting drunk and not distracting myself with pussy. Not that Bonnie could see any of this but I hoped word would get back to her through Barbie.

I have never be
lieved in love at first sight. If anything, I’ve never believed I would ever want to settle down, especially as Bonnie and I have barely spent proper time together. But there’s something about her that draws me in and I’ll be fucked if I’m going to lose it. I’ll bide my time with her and give her the space to do whatever the fuck she has to do. She is mine and I’ll be ready for when she realises this.

The sound of b
anging out in the hall broke me out of my one man pity party and when I opened the door a prospect was banging on all the doors.

“Hey, what the fuck you
doin’?” I yelled.

“Cas said to get everyone down, a Ghost Rider has turned up at the gate
,” he explained.

What? I quickly turn around and grab
my gun. On my way out I am quickly followed by Slade. Everyone else is already standing outside with Cas out front and centre. As I near I see one guy standing on his own on the other side of the closed gate. He looks to be in his forties, possibly older, scruffy and wearing a navy blue hoodie with holes in the sleeve.

He’s telling
Cas something and as I flank my brother I hear Cas cutting him off.

“You’re either very stupid or you’ve got yourself some balls
comin’ here,” he says calmly.

“I don’t want to be here
. It goes against everything I’ve believed in for the last twenty-five years,” the guy spits out.

“So why are you here then?”
Cas asks.

“Because I’m out, loads of us are. Whatever shit you’ve had with the Ghost Riders, not all of us agreed with Hunter. After he died most of us were ready to go our
own way but Joe and Tommy hyped up a load of bullshit about keepin’ the brotherhood together and we stayed.”

“That’s a nice story you’re
tellin’ us but why the fuck are we goin’ to believe you?” I call out.

“
Look, Joe ain’t runnin’ shit. He only got the gavel because he was next in line. These days he’s snorting our income like it’s fuckin’ water and if he ain’t fightin’ everyone else he’s fightin’ us. We’ve had enough. Joe ain’t interested in a club, he’s only after power and control.”

“What brings you here?”
Cas asks him.

“The boy is out of control. H
e’s not only after you but us as well. I’m too fuckin’ old for this watchin’ my back shit. Before Tommy turned up smokin’ like a piece of burnt chicken he had an ally but now he has no one and it’s makin’ him uncontrollable.”

No one was saying anything. This is the first time this has ever happened. The guy remained straight backed and held his ground. If I went with my gut I would say he was telling the truth. He looked worn down and tired but still, it would be foolish to take him at his word.

He huffed and shook his head. When we remained silent he began pulling his hoodie over his head.

“Whoa! What do you think you’re
doin’?” Cas shouted.

“I’m showing you I’m serious. Look, all covered. No insignias left
,” he said moving round in a slow circle so we could all see.

Man, the guy mu
st have had many Ghost Rider tattoos because he now looks like one big blob of ink.

“Okay, I get your point, put your fuckin’ hoodie back on for fucks sake
.”

Cas
waited until he was fully covered again and stared at him for a moment longer.

“I’ll ask you one more time. W
hy are you here?” Cas repeats his earlier question.

“I haven’t got the means to do it
myself since leaving the club. Here’s a list of numbers Joe uses. I thought you could have your guy track him down. I know you’ve been tryin’ to pin him down and have had no success with that.”

He digs in his jeans pocket and produ
ces a crumpled piece of paper. He steps forward and holds it through the bars on the gate.

Cas
nods to Slade and he moves forward and takes it.

“I get why you wanted out but why come here and hand us information on Joe?”
Cas asks.

“He hurt someone clos
e to me just because he could. He needs to be put down like the dirty mongrel he is,” he mutters, and before we can blink he is walking away to his bike on the other side of the road.

“
Take that list and start trackin’ the numbers, hopefully we get a hit on him,” Cas orders Slade.

Slade disappears inside to his laptop and Pope comes up beside me.

“You know, that could’ve been a distraction,” he says seriously.

“For what?” I ask.

“We’re all here listening to his crap while your girl in town is on her own. Maybe those numbers aren’t anything and Joe is already here?”

As soon as he said the words I can’t believe I didn’t think of that myself.
I pull my cell out and punch in her number.

After the fourth ring she answers. I tell myself it’s a good sign Joe isn’t with her if she’s answering the phone.

“Hello.”

“Bonnie, are you on your own?” I ask her.

“Sparky, I’ve told you it’s not any of your business anymore,” she says adamantly.

“And I’ve told you, you are my business but that’s not what I meant. Have you seen your brother today?”

I hear her intake of breathe and I can picture her beginning to freak out.

“Bonnie? You still there?” I ask.

“Yeah. Is Joe in town?”

“We don’t know, I just wanted to check and make sure he wasn’t with you
.”

She goes so quiet I think I can hear her thinking. I can guarantee her eyes will be wild right now.

“Bon, don’t worry about this, I was just checking in.”

“Okay. Um, I’ll speak to you later
,” she says, then hangs up on me.

I don’t like leaving it like that. She said
she will stay in Willows Peak but if she thinks her brother is around and she is scared enough she might run. I have to go and see her and tell her what’s happened.

I turn back to my brothers.

“She hasn’t seen Joe. Look, I don’t want to leave right now but I have to go see her. I can’t leave her thinking Joe is in town and I’m hiding something from her,” I tell Cas, hoping he understands because at the moment I couldn’t give a shit if he doesn’t.

“Go, take Pope and Ricky with you. Once we’ve got a hit we’ll pass through town and join you
.”

“Thanks brother
.”

I don’t waste any time making my way to the garages and impatiently wait for Ricky to get his ass on his bike.

Turning onto Bonnie’s street everything seems normal. The three of us stop our bikes and park up outside her house.
Her neighbour’s curtains start twitching and I can’t help laugh that the nosy old woman notices everything. I must remember to give her my number in case there is any trouble here.

I knock three times on the door and wait for her to answer. Pope and Ricky foll
ow behind and we hear her unlocking four different locks to open the door.

I don’t miss the small smile when she sees me but it soon disappears back to her
‘stubborn as fuck’ composed mask.

“I’ve already told you he’s not here
,” she says, walking back to the kitchen leaving the door open.

“I know.
I wanted to make sure you’re okay,” I say, following her through.

“I’m fine. You’re
only here to make sure I don’t run,” she says, sure of herself that she’s right.

“Well, are you?”

She looks at Pope and Ricky, remaining quiet. I nod at my brothers and they disappear into the lounge.

Once we’re on our own she replies.

“I’m not going anywhere. I don’t know how many more times I have to tell you that,” she sighs.

I breathe a sigh of relief and move closer to her. Every time I see her I ache to hold her against me again.

“We’ve been given some numbers of Joe’s to track so I’ll probably be heading out of town for a while,” I tell her.

“I don’t want to know
,” she says.

“I don’t suppose you’ll stay at the club while I’m gone?” I ask
, already knowing she’ll refuse.

“I’m okay here, stop worrying
.”

“What else am I meant to fuckin’ do when you won’t do anything I ask?”
I yell, beginning to lose my patience.

“Because I don’t have to Sparky. I’ve been in a lot worse situations than this and I’m lot a stronger now
,” she says, her voice getting louder too.

She turns away and busies herself at the sink. I can’t stop myself, I need to be close to her. I brace myself behind her and lean each hand on the counter, trapping her between my arms. I see her slightly shudder and lean into me a fraction.

“Why do you keep pushing me away?” I breathe into her neck.

Her eyes close and I push on. I wind my arm around her waist and rest my hand on her stomach. Through her thin top
I can feel a slight bump.

“You’re both mine, why keep
fightin’ it?”

“Because I haven’t finished fighting for myself
,” she whispers.

I growl in frustration. I understand her ne
ed for independence but for God’s sake, why can’t she open her fucking eyes and see I want that for her too and she can still have it just as long as I know she is with me.

“Don’t do
this Sparky, I’m not doing this with you again.”

“Fine” I huff
, pushing away from her. “Like I said, I’ll be heading out of town soon, please look after yourself.”

“Of course I will
,” she laughs.

“Don’t laugh at me Bon. Since you won’t let me near you
I have to trust you to keep yourself safe when I’m not around.”

My sincerity sobers her up and then she sighs sadly.

“I’m not made of glass. Trust me, I’m not going to let anything happen to me or our baby.”

A throat clearing from the doorway
stops us from going round in circles. I turn to find Pope and Ricky standing there.

“Slade’s tracked a couple of the numbers to the same place. Cas is on his way and wants us to meet him as he passes through town
,” Ricky informs me.

“Give me a minute and I’ll be out
.”

They both leave and I turn back to Bonnie. She looks like she’s seen a ghost.

“Has Joe been found?”

“Hopefully he hasn’t dumped the phones and it’s him
.”

“Actually I don’t want to know
” she says, composing herself once again.

I don’t blame her, it can’t be easy for her whatever she has been through.

“I’ll stop by when I get back,” I tell her.

“Okay
.”

Wow, she doesn’t normally okay my stopping by this easily.

I thought she wasn’t going to follow me out but she did. If I had my way I would kiss her goodbye but I don’t bother and carry on down the path.

“Oh and Sparky
,” she calls out as I reach my bike, “Thought you’d want to know I have a job interview tomorrow,” she smirked, knowing I couldn’t stay and argue about this with her now. I have told her numerous times over the last few weeks that I will take care of her financially but will she fucking let me? No she fucking won’t.

“We’ll talk about this when I get back
,” I glare at her.

“I’ll be waiting
,” she replies, closing the door on us.