Biker Faith (20 page)

Holy shit
, I’m a dad.

Everything I have done in my life, nothing has had me feeling as nervous as I do now as I’m about to meet my son.

The nurse pulls the curtain back for me and Bonnie is laying half up on the bed. I expected her not to be so awake, but she is glowing. 

“The nurse
s have already cleaned her up. She’ll stay here a while longer before we’ll take them to the private room you requested.”

I smile at the nurse before she slides behind the curtain, making sure we have complete privacy.

Just me and Bonnie as she holds a bundle of blue blankets.

I feel out of place…
too big for the tiny area blocked in by the curtain.

“Is that him?”

“No. I borrowed this one from the nursery,” she giggles. “Of course, he’s ours. Come and meet him.”

I sit on the edge of the bed, careful not to disturb the wires around Bonnie.

“I can’t move far, you need to help me out here,” she smiles.

I move closer and slide my hands under the bundle in her arms. Holding my son, I am speechless. I can’t bel
ieve I had a hand in making him. I always thought babies looked like little old men when they were born, all puffy and scrunched up, but there isn’t a single crease on my son’s face.

“He’s beautiful isn’t he
?” Bonnie grins proudly.

I struggle to swallow the lump in my throat
to speak, so I nod in agreement.

“And look, a little baldy like his daddy
,” she giggles, taking his little hat off.

“Thank you
.”

“For what?
” she asks.

“For
makin’ him with me,” I say, making us both laugh. “Here, you should take him back, I feel like I’m gonna break him. I’m way too big for his tiny body,” I say, beginning to feel like a giant compared to him.

“Don’t be silly, you’re his dad, you won’t hurt him
.”

“Never, and I’ll never hurt you again Bonnie
,” I whisper to her.

I had to tell her…and now.

“Don’t make me leave here without you two. I can’t be without you any longer, you’re stubborn and you’ve driven me crazy keepin’ me away but I fuckin’ love you. I need you Bon,” I say in a rush.

“You said it
,” she said, quietly.

“What?”
…I rack my brains trying to pin what she is referring to. “That I love you?”

“You’ve never told me before
,” she says.

That can’t be right? Surely I have said the words because I have loved her for a long time now.

“Well I do, fuckin’ hell Bon, all I want is you and our son. Surely you know that?”

“It’s not just us anymore, you can’t leave for days on
end when we have an argument. It won’t be only me who gets hurt, it will be him too,” she says.

“Bonnie, you’re not understanding me. I’m not
gonna hurt either of you. If we fight, we both stay, we’ll shout it out. You can throw some plates if you have to, then we’ll make up,” I chuckle. “There are no secrets between us now, nothin’ can come between us anymore,” I say more seriously.

“You mean it?”

“I give you my word,” I promise her.

It drives me fucking crazy when her eyes dance around her sockets while she internally debates what to do.

“You don’t have to leave without us then, we’ll leave together.”

I lean in and kiss her for the first time in months. This moment is what I have been waiting
for. This time I will not fuck it up.

“I love you too by the way
,” she giggles.

“That’s good babe
,” I grin.

She kisses me again and yawns into my mouth.

“Sorry, I’m tired.”

“Do you need anything?” I ask.

“No, I have everything I need,” she smiles.

“You hear that son, m
ommy has everything she needs. We gotta keep it that way otherwise she might not cook and clean for us,” I tease.

“Hey, I’ll argue with you about that later
,” she smiles, softly closing her eyes.

“Yeah you will. Get some rest, we’ll be here when you wake up
.”

Chapter
Twenty-One

Bonnie...

One Month Later

In the space of four weeks everything has changed. I saw something
in Sparky the day I had our son. I took a chance on his word and so far life couldn’t be better. He kept to his word and by the time he brought us home from hospital all his belongings were at my house, along with every member of the Lost Souls mother chapter. Already crying at the drop of a hat at anything, the sight of grown, big ass bikers cooing over a tiny baby and genuinely joyful to meet our son made the tears run uncontrollably. It was the sweetest scene I have witnessed. The Lost Souls are my family. I have more now than I ever have had and it was all too much that day.

Sparky took great delight in telling my temporary boss I wasn’t coming back to work. I wasn’t happy about it but one look at my son and I knew I would not be able to leave him to go to a job I didn’t have to work at. Sparky wants me
bringing up our son from home. He wants our son to have a mother around, something he sadly didn’t have and I understand that. Deep down I’m ecstatic to stay home. He promises he will keep me busy, and so far looking after our son has been busy enough. Both of us are very protective over him already, and because I move a lot slower than Sparky, he manages to get to the baby as soon as he cries.

In my dreams I never expected Sparky to get up in the night
to help with feeds but he did. It only lasted three weeks because as of last week our son sleeps through the night. According to the doctor this is really good and we should count ourselves lucky as some babies don’t sleep through the night for months.

Sparky has told me he is
taking me out for a few hours when he gets back from wherever he is, and Alannah is going to babysit which she is happy about. The last couple of days he has been secretive and going out. I would be worried about it but the constant messages I get asking if we’re okay tells me he can’t be up to too much if he is on his phone to me the whole time.

The last message I received today told me to be ready to leave in an hour. Alannah turned up a half hour ago and hasn’t put my son down since she took her jacket off.

“You’re a natural with him,” I say, watching her look adoringly at him.

“Cas is worrying I’m getting too broody spending all my time here
,” she giggles. “He thinks every time we have sex, I’m going to end up pregnant,” she adds, rolling her eyes.

I laugh at
her face as she speaks, and I thought Cas wasn’t afraid of anything.

“Surely he wants a family at some point?”

“He does. He wants to be like Sparky and spend proper time with us in the beginning. At the moment the club takes a lot of his time up and he worries about loose ends he’s still patching up from my uncle’s fuck ups.”

“That’s understandable
,” I murmur as the front door opens.

Sparky walks into the lounge and smiles when he sees us. His smile alone melts me and causes me to squirm where I sit. It was a long time before I gave birth since we last had sex and when
I came home from the hospital. The last thing on my mind was getting it on, not that Sparky was trying anything, if anything he has put me in a bubble to keep me from pain. When we go to sleep of a night, I feel him pulling away slightly so he doesn’t hurt me in his sleep. I love him even more for it but it also makes me horny beyond control. He doesn’t hide his need for me and my body, but he won’t come near me either. He tells me we have all the time in the world when I am fully healed and I know he is right but I need him now. I don’t feel one hundred per cent on form but I do feel a hell of a lot better than I did. So after whatever it is he has planned today, I have my own plans for tonight.

“You ready?
” he asks, bending down to give me a kiss.

“Just need to get my jacket
,” I smile.

“Go get it and we’ll get out of here
,” he tells me, “You sure you’re gonna be okay Barbs?” he asks, turning his attention to Alannah.

“I’ll be fine, and don’t be pester
ing me with calls checking in. Go and enjoy yourselves,” she laughs, knowing what Sparky has been like lately.

Once I have my jacket and purse I kiss our son goodbye and let Sparky push me out of the house.

“What’s the rush?” I ask.

“No rush
” he shrugs.

“Am I allowed to know where we’re going?” I ask.

“You’ll find out if you get in the truck” he replies, not giving anything away.

I know where he’s taking me when I begin to recognise the roads. He is taking me back to the lakes.

I can’t ride on the back of his bike yet so we are in his
new truck which he got a few months ago, I don’t know what happened to his old one. When we arrive, the lake is as beautiful and peaceful as it was the last time I was here. I’m glad he has brought me here, uninterrupted time with only us around.

Like a gentleman, he jumps out of his side and comes round to help me down out of the truck.

He keeps hold of my hand and leads me to the large rocks we sat on when he first brought me here nearly a year ago.

“I’ve got
somethin’ to show you,” he says.

He leant back and pulled his hoodie up to reveal my name in large, bold italic writing running across his lower stomach, just above where his jeans and belt will sit, so when he is shirtless which he often is adding to my torment, everyone will be able to see it.

“Why have you got today’s date?” I asked, noticing the date freshly inked above my name in a thin print.

“Because, Bonnie Hamilton, today is when you
’re gonna agree to officially be mine.”

Oh…My…
God.

He scoots me round gently so I am face to face with him, and he holds my left hand.

“It’s when I first brought you here that everything changed between us. We have been through so much and when you finally gave me you and my son, I knew I couldn’t let you go again.”

He isn’t play
ing around, he is proposing! I have already said yes a thousand times in my head but I wait for him to finish.

“I’ve done some bad shit in my life and made wrong decisions but I know there is
nothin’ wrong in how I feel about you. I promise you I will love and protect you for the rest of our lives. No one will hurt you again and if it happens to be me who hurts ya, if you put my ring on your finger then you have my permission to take me out. Will you marry me Bonnie?”

“Yes!”

I don’t need any time to think about my answer. He slides the prettiest diamond on my finger and I jump on his lap.

“I want to fuck you right now
,” I tell him, being the most forward I have ever been with him.

“Babe, I’ve wanted that for months, but I’m not
goin’ to fuck you here. You’re still healing and we’ve got somewhere else to be soon but trust me, when you won’t break on me I’ll be on you like you wouldn’t believe,” he laughs.

I settle for kissing him intensely, secretly hoping he will get caught up in the moment and forget about everything. He doesn’t.

“I know I don’t say it a lot, but I love you Bon, I really fuckin’ do.”

“I know you do, and I love you too
,” I tell him, leaning back in to kiss him.

“One more thing
,” he groans, pulling away from me.

“What?”

“Our son needs a name,” he laughs, “Can’t keep calling him baby boy.”

“I’ve been thinking,
how do you like Jason Junior? It will most likely get shortened to JJ, but I think he should be named after his father.”

Neither of us could agre
e on a name after he was born. Every name I thought of Sparky said I had no chance, every name he came up with, I said he had no hope.

“I like it
,” he grins, “Jason, Jason Junior Carter. I love it.”

“So, you said we have somewhere else to be?”

“We do, we have a party to get to in your honour.”

“A party? Sparky, I have nothing to wear, and
what about Jason?” I begin to panic.

“Don’t worry ‘bout
nothin’, I’ve got everything in hand. Trust me.”

Sparky...

Watching Bonnie show her ring off to everyone in a black figure hugging dress I had Barbie choose for her, I count my ass lucky she gave me this chance. She really had me thinking I would never have her again.

I always felt I would be dead before I settled down and took an old lady and had kids. Bonnie is like no woman I have met before, even Barbie. After all the shit she has been dealt, she is still here and finally smiling. She is stronger than she gives herself credit for. I saw it in her the day I first took her to the lakes. It has taken many months but she knows she now holds all the cards between us. And if I’m honest, it turns me on giving her power over me. I don’t want a woman who won’t fight me when I’m being a dick. Bonnie doesn’t stand for any shit with me and I am looking forward to the making up after I next fuck up, because I don’t doubt I will fuck up. Hell, it is taking everything in me not to take her to my old room right now and pull her dress up, but I don’t trust myself not to hurt her. It’s been far too long since I was last inside her, she wouldn’t stand a chance against me.

“So when’s the big day brother
?” Slade asks, stumbling on the bar couch beside me.

“As soon as possible
,” I grin.

“I like her, you’ve done well
puttin’ a ring on her finger,” he says, raising his bottle of beer to mine.

“And she was built for baby
makin’, she looks smaller now than she did before you knocked her up,” he laughs.

That she does.
I already knew she was perfect.

“You sound jealous brother
,” I tease.

“Damn right I am
. First Cas now you. If there’s something you guys are drinkin’, let a brother know. I want my own woman beside me.”

“Slade, you have a woman in bed every night
keepin’ you warm,” I laugh.

“It
ain’t the same, and you know it otherwise you wouldn’t be marryin’ her,” he says.

“I know. I
t will happen for you brother, no doubt about that. Maybe you’ll find one on that laptop of yours,” I laugh deeply.

He grunts and takes off, leaving the space next to me free for Bonnie to fall on my lap.

“Hey baby,” she purrs. Yep my woman is tipsy. “Are you sure I can’t tempt you into taking me up stairs?”

Fuck this, I can’t do it any longer. What with her looking
fucking stunning tonight and now grinding against my dick, I am in hell.

I shift her forward and keep her in my arms as I carry her to and up the stairs.

“You know I ain’t gonna last, it’s been too fuckin’ long,” I warn her, fiddling with the lock to my old room.

“I don’t care, I just want to feel you inside me
,” she purrs.

I lay her on the bed and unbuckle my belt and unzip my jeans, pushing them down just far enough to release my dick. She opens her purse I didn’t see she had on her and throws a condom at me. I catch it and raise my eyebrows.

“You had this planned didn’t ya?” I laugh, tearing the foil open.

“Hmm mmm
,” she giggles, “Now put it on and get inside me.”

My dick couldn’t get any harder seeing her sprawled on the bed giving me herself. In seconds I
was covered and on top of her. Before I could take hold of my own dick she had grabbed hold of it and was pushing her hips up to make contact.

“You’re
gonna have to let me do this. Just you holding it is makin’ me wanna come,” I grunt, trying to think of anything but the here and now so I at least last another minute.

Removi
ng her hand she grabs at my shirt and pulls me down closer to her and pushes her lips against mine.

“Now
.” she pants, as I pull away and start kissing her neck.

Fuck it
, there’s no point in prolonging it any further. Moving off her I twist her round and pull her hips up to meet my dick.

“This
really isn’t gonna last long. Play with yourself as I give you want you want,” I tell her, and for the first time in fucking months I plunge into her and it feels like I’m fucking home.

“Oh G
od,” she moans, working her fingers against her clit in a frenzy.

With every thrust I feel myself one pump closer to release and with every thrust I feel her clenching her inner muscles around me tighter and tighter.

“Fuckin’ hell, you’re so fuckin’ tight Bon,” I grunt, as I feel the first rush of release surging through me.

“I’m nearly there…d
on’t stop,” she gasps.