Ash (7 page)

Between my mother, Danny, and Connie, they saved me from a much different life. I’d been lost in a world fueled by petty crime, drugs, and booze. There was a lack of respect for those in my life, living only for the moment, and I hadn’t cared about who got hurt along the way.

My mother took my hand in hers.

I stared at the small age spots across her skin. “How did I get so lucky having a mother like you?”

She let out an amused laugh and shrugged her shoulders. “I guess we both got lucky, huh?”

This was my mother to the bone. She would never pretend to be anything other than humble.

“I better get Jake ready,” I said.

“Oh, I can take him in. You go get some sleep.” She stood and called Jake. “Jake, get your backpack, honey.”

“Are you sure?”

“Sweetheart, you need your rest, even if it’s for a few hours. It’s game night. Jake needs his daddy to put on a good show,” she said, and kissed my cheek.

Jake appeared in the doorway with his favorite Transformer’s schoolbag. “Is Daddy not taking me?”

“Daddy’s been working all night,” my mother said.

“Will you collect me, Daddy?” he asked.

“You bet. We’ll stop by Uncle Danny’s, and we’ll have a man’s afternoon.” I got up from the table and walked over to him, bending down and pinching the tip of his nose. “You get to be boss for the day.”

“Can we get Chinese food?” he asked, scratching behind his ear.

“We can get anything you want.”

“Yes!” Jake fist-pumped the air and kissed my cheek. He hugged me tight and ran toward the front door.

“See you later, buddy,” I shouted down the hall after him. “Thanks, Mom.”

“I’ll see you tonight, honey,” she replied, making her way to the door. “I love you,” she called back before closing the door behind her.

Stretching my arms, I poured the coffee in the sink, slipped off my boots, and walked into my room. I closed the blinds, stripped off my clothes, and climbed into bed.

Sometimes, the silence was all I craved. After Sophia’s behavior, complete calm was what I needed. If only things went the way I wanted.

Of course, a few mothers turned their attention to me. This served as a way to boost my ego. At the end of the day, I was a single father, doing my best to raise my kid. A little positive attention never did anyone any harm.

“Hey, Ash,” Cindy said, walking up beside me and smiling at me.

“Hey, Cindy, you doing good?” I smiled back at her.

Cindy Callaghan was a good-looking woman. She had all the bumps in the right places and left very little to the imagination. Newly divorced, I was sure she was on the hunt for her rebound guy. As much as I appreciated the attention, I wasn’t going to be that guy. Of course, that’s not to say I wouldn’t enjoy the flirtation.

“Oh, so-so, I guess. Busy getting ready for the summer,” she gushed. “The weather has been amazing, right?”

“Can’t complain about much. Just taking it easy today.”

She moved in closer. The whiff of her perfume was overwhelming, but I played it cool.

“I hear that Jake’s really coming out of his shell,” she remarked. “He’s such a sweet little boy.”

I nodded and replied, “Yeah, he’s a good kid. He’s surrounded with good people who understand the tough times he’s had.”

Mentioning the hard year Jake has been through sobered Cindy up long enough for her to take a step back.

“I’m sure it hasn’t been easy on either of you. I can’t imagine how hard it’s been. If you ever want to talk, or get a bite to eat,” she whispered, and paused for a second, looking around. “Like, only if you want to. I mean, my weekends are pretty flexible.”

At that moment, I knew I had to let her down. “Ah, Cindy, thanks for the offer, but with Jake and work, I don’t have a lot of free time. Thanks for the offer. I appreciate it.”

Her face turned red.

I felt bad, but I couldn’t let her continue thinking she had a chance. False hope was a disease, and I wouldn’t do that to anyone.

Cindy retreated to her small group of friends and avoided me.

I let out a sigh of relief when the door opened.

Jake’s eyes lit up when he saw me. “Daddy.” He squealed and ran toward me.

“You ready to be the man?” I asked, lifting him into my arms.

“Yup!” He laughed.

The day was ours.

Danny stuffed his mouth with noodles, leaving long strings hanging down over his chin.

Jake burst into laughter. His little voice filled the restaurant.

I sipped at my cola, watching the two of them at play.

Danny continued chewing and filled his mouth with food until he let out a belch.

“That is disgusting.” I sniggered.

“What?” he asked, wiping his chin with the napkin. “Jake made me do it.”

“I did not.” Jake giggled.

Danny pulled a face. He rolled his eyes and stuck his tongue out, resulting in Jake copying him. It was like babysitting two kids.

“You guys ready?” I asked.

They looked at each other and nodded in unison.

“Then, let’s go get ready for some ball,” I replied.

I paid the bill and took Jake’s hand.

The three of us left the restaurant.

Before we even thought about heading to the ball field, we made a pit stop by the apartment for a quick change. Danny and I wore our personalized shirts honoring the name of a fallen brother—Mackenzie Brown. It was a charity softball tournament set up by Mackenzie family in aid of the families of firefighters who lost their lives in the line of duty. We did this each year for the past six, and it had become a bit of a ritual. Now that Jake was old enough to understand the importance of the event, he loved taking part.

Jake wore a miniature shirt with his own personalized number on the back. He put on his cap and sunglasses, and gave me the thumbs-up. It was hilarious and made me love him all the more.

“You sure look the part,” I said.

“You look cool, Daddy.” He beamed.

Danny folded his arms across his chest and frowned. “And what about me, huh?”

“You’ll pass.” Jake was quick to respond, and a wrestling matched ensued.

Danny pulled Jake into his arms, and playfully fell to the floor. My son’s squeals filled the room. My best friend tickled him until Jake was subdued.

“Do you give in?” Danny asked.

“Yes.” Jake giggled.

It was good that Jake had Danny in his life. I don’t think a child could have been more loved.

Danny, through all our difficulties, was a permanent fixture in our lives. Jake adored him. My parents called him their second son, and to me, he was the brother I never had. He was irreplaceable.

“Right, you two,” I shouted over their laughter. “Let’s get this show on the road.”

Danny sucked in a deep breath, pulled a serious face, and glared at me.

“And we were just getting started.” He pretended to sulk. “But we’ve a game to win, so let’s do this.”

“Yeah, let’s do this.” Jake mimicked Danny’s fist-pump.

They got up from the floor, picked up their caps, and stood together, waiting for me to give the command.

“Seriously?” I asked, glaring at Danny.

“Well, this one is on you, Lieutenant.”

“Yeah.” Jake pointed his finger at me. “What he said.”

I shook my head, laughed, and led the way out of the apartment with the gruesome duo in tow.

A large crowd had already gathered.

Jake’s little face lit up when we walked onto the diamond to greet the other players.

Station Fifty-Two had been drawn to take us on, and I was a little riled up. Losing was never an option, and even though it was meant to be a lighthearted game, I loved the rush of competing.

Joe had the majority of the squad out in full force. Only those unlucky enough not to be chosen remained back at the station on duty.

“You guys ready to bring this home for Mackenzie?” He began his pep talk. Nods and murmurs of approval sounded in response. “Now, go easy on the oldies,” he continued, looking at each of us. “I have faith in you all. If you do right by the station, drinks will be on me all night.” He grinned.

A few of the guys cheered upon hearing those words.

Danny smirked.

Matt rubbed his hands together.

“You guys ready to play ball?” I asked, getting my head in the right frame of mind.

“Damned straight,” Danny replied.

I turned my attention back to Jake.

My parents arrived on time and waved at me as I made my way over to where they stood.

Jake ran on ahead of me and wrapped his arms around my mother’s legs. He held onto my mother’s hand as she handed him a Popsicle.

My father smiled as I approached them.

“Hey, Dad.”

I shook his hand, something the two of us did every time we saw each other. It had become a formal way of us acknowledging each other, especially after the bad days.

“Son,” he said, looking over my shoulder at the boys on the field. “It’s another good turnout for you boys.”

I rested my hands on my waist and looked over at my team.

Matt and Danny laughed and joked.

Marco and Troy spoke to Tracey—no surprise there—and Sophia and Joe were in deep conversation.

Carter and Tyler looked in my direction.

Tyler ushered me over.

“Okay, I’m gonna have to go,” I said. “Jake, you be good, alright?”

“Yes, Daddy,” he replied.

I ruffled his hair before running back over to the team.

Seeing the crowd, many happy faces coming together to witness something great, brought a sense of pride to me. The energy was infectious.

The green diamond surrounded by brown dirt and grass into the outfield was a remarkable sight. The entire field was dotted with the players—firefighters and medics—all together to have the time of their lives.

The home plate umpire stepped forward and yelled, “Play ball!”

Troy was the first batter and stepped into the box.

The umpire signaled the pitcher for the first pitch to be thrown. “Strike!” he shouted, and the game began.


Troy lasted for two more strikes and was then retired.

“Fuck my life,” he said, red-faced.

Joe pointed at him and smiled. “Less of the face. It’s just a game.”

Those words were true, but to me, this was more than a game. I didn’t want Station Fifty-Two walking away from this the victors. They were already cocky bastards.

I stepped into the box and took a few deep breaths, watching the pitcher.

He kept his eyes on me the whole time, chewing his gum.

The ball came toward me, hard and fast. It was a hit, skimming along the ground toward the shortstop. Before I had the chance to build up any momentum as I ran, I heard the words, “Out!” I cleared the field, and the game continued like this for a while.

Until Danny stepped into the box. He blasted a line drive to the right field wall and a two runs score. Our luck changed.