Ash (27 page)

“Relax, man, this is a one-time deal.”

“I’ll need details about the warehouse and shit,” I muttered, hating myself for what I was going to do.

“Oh, that’s an easy one. It’s an old friend of ours out on West Englewood.” He stared at me.

Fuck! I roared internally.

“That’s Juan’s territory.” I swallowed the bile rising at the back of my throat.

“Yes, and Juan has been stepping on my toes. He shouldn’t be bringing his business to this side of town. You know how this works, Ash. Don’t make me spell it out for you.”

I didn’t get to ask questions. I wasn’t privy to his gangland war. I was just a pawn, willing to commit arson, and it would haunt me every day for the rest of my life.

Sophia was sitting in her car when I pulled up to my apartment building.

I got out of the truck, walked over to her, and got inside. “What are you doing here?” I asked.

“Nice to see you, too,” she replied.

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

She stopped frowning and relaxed. “Are you going to tell me what happened at the station?”

“Jesus, Sophia.” I sighed, running a hand over my face. “I don’t know where to begin.”

She reached over and touched my hand. “Start at the beginning.”

I gazed at her. She was so beautiful, even when she looked like she had hardly any sleep. I didn’t know if I trusted myself with her. Was I willing to reveal everything to her? Let her see how broken I truly was?

“You better come inside, then,” I replied, and got out of her car.

Sophia didn’t say anything. She picked up her bag, got out, and locked the door. She followed me inside the building.

“Ash,” she muttered.

“Yeah?” I looked back at her.

“Is your kid here?”

“Yup,” I replied. “And so is my mom.”

We stood outside my door.

She touched my arm. “Are you sure?”

“Relax, okay? If I wasn’t sure, you wouldn’t be here.”

“Okay.”

We walked into my apartment.

My mom called out from her perch in the living room. “Ash, is that you honey?”

“Yup, and I’ve brought a friend,” I said, and strolled up the hall.

Jake sat by my mother’s feet, playing with his Lego. He looked up and smiled.

“Hi, Daddy.” He then stared at Sophia. “Is that your friend?”

“Oh, yeah, this is Sophia. She’s a medic at the station. Remember, she’s the one who patched you up at the game when you fell and hurt your knee.”

“Oh, yeah, the lady with the funny voice,” Jake replied.

My mother stared at Sophia. She stood and brushed down her skirt.

“It’s lovely to meet you, dear.” She greeted Sophia and held out her hand.

Sophia stepped forward and shook my mother’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you, too, Mrs. Benton.”

It was weird. My mother kept staring at Sophia and me with curiosity, but she was a classy lady, who asked few questions.

“Do you want a drink, Sophia?”

“Sure,” she replied, sounding quite unlike the feisty woman I’d come to know.

“Mom, Jake, do you guys want anything?”

Jake shook his head. “Nope!”

My mother smiled and declined. “If you don’t mind, I’ll get on home. Your father has plans on taking me out to dinner, and I never say no to a night out.”

“Thanks, Mom,” I said, and kissed her cheek.

“I’ll let myself out. You and your friend go on and have that drink.” She touched my face. “I love you, honey.”

“I love you, too, Mom,” I replied.

“Bye, Jake. Be a good boy for your daddy.” She patted Jake on the head and left the apartment.

“I’ll be in the kitchen if you need anything, Jake. Okay?”

Jake looked up at me. “I’m making a Minecraft city and the Emderman is going to teleport.”

“Okay, have fun.”

I led Sophia into the kitchen and popped two bottles of beer. I handed one to her.

“Thanks,” she said, and took a seat next to me at the breakfast bar. “So, fill me in on everything.”

“My life is fucked up,” I admitted.

“Isn’t everyone’s?”

“Probably, but I don’t care about anyone else. My problems began the day my wife asked her best friend to carry our baby for us.”

Sophia sat with her mouth open.

“It was a simple deal, or so I thought. My sperm, Connie’s embryo, all inside Marcy’s womb. She agreed to do this out of “love” for Connie. She relinquished any rights she thought she had. It was all done legally. But now, since Connie died, she suddenly wants access to Jake. Until recently, I’ve let her see him at the zoo, hence the weekly visits,” I said. “But none of it is enough. She thinks she can be his mother, and that I will allow this to happen.”

“Wow,” Sophia remarked. “She sounds like a bitch.”

“Oh, it gets better. She turned up at work the other day, taking my so-called problems to Joe. Marcy told him that I am not capable of working or parenting, stating that I’m not coping very well and blatantly lying through her teeth. And that wasn’t enough for her. She left me a message, telling me that she would destroy me, just to prove a point.”

“You need to see a lawyer, and get some advice on this stuff. She can’t go around doing this to you.” Sophia touched the back of my hand.

I stared at her, looking down her hand. I took it in mine and gripped her hand tight.

“Legally, she hasn’t a foot to stand on, but she’s using my grief against me. Jake hasn’t been neglected. I’ve protected him from day one. He’s always been my priority. That’s never going to change.”

“Anyone can see how much you love him, Ash.”

“Then, why do I feel like all the power has been taken from me?”

Sophia leaned forward and touched my face, gently running her hand down my cheek. She was so unbelievably gorgeous.

I lost myself in the moment.

“Because you’ve allowed her to get too close,” she replied.

“And the worst part is, I can’t say I regret having her in my life because she’s the very reason I have my son. It’s a fucking catch-22 situation and I hate it. I am tired, angry, and I’m fucking scared of what she’s willing to pull next.”

“Maybe I should talk to her. I’ve a mean right hook.”

I laughed. “Thanks, but no thanks. You don’t need to get involved in my shit.”

“Too late. It appears that I’m already very much involved,” she said, and kissed my cheek. “Besides, I’ve only a few more weeks here. My transfer came through, and I wanted to let you know in person.”

She delivered the news I didn’t want to hear.

I was getting used to having her in my life, and she was leaving. I wasn’t sure I was ready to let go, not yet.

“Sophia,” I whispered.

“Please, don’t say it, Ash.”

“I don’t want you to go.”

“Ash, you know I’m leaving. I have to. There’s nothing you can do or say that will make me change my mind.” She let go of my hand.

I swallowed the hard lump. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I wasn’t normally a needy man. Sophia brought out a whole new side of me.

“I know, and I accept that. I’m just being a selfish asshole.”

“You’re not an asshole.” She nudged my arm with her elbow. “I wish circumstances were different, but they’re not. I have to go and do my own thing. Just like you need to sort this shit out with Marcy.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” I didn’t want to sit there and beg her to stay. I wasn’t that kind of man. “But at least stay for dinner?”

She grinned. “It all depends.”

“On what?”

“What’s on the menu? I have a very delicate palate, you know. I don’t eat any old thing.”

I laughed at that, because there was always some hidden innuendo thrown in when it came to Sophia. “I’m sure I can rustle us something decent to eat. I’m a handy man in the kitchen.”

“Or we can get take out.”

“You, with the delicate palate, want take out?” I raised an eyebrow.

“Sure, but let’s take it to a vote.” She got off the stool and walked to the living room door. “Hey, Jake, I vote pizza for dinner. What do you say?”

“Yes!” he roared, and I knew I had been beaten.

Sophia turned around and grinned, holding her arms out on either side of her and curtsying in front of me. “See? I know how to get to a man’s heart.”

“That you do,” I replied, sliding off the stool and walking over to where she stood. I wrapped my arms around her waist, rubbing my nose against hers. “How about a sleep over?”

She giggled and nodded. “I suppose, why not?”

Thirty minutes later, the three of us sat in another fort that Jake convinced Sophia to build, eating pepperoni pizza.

Jake sat in between Sophia and me, munching on his favourite food.

We watched
The Lego Movie
, and Jake recited the lines he knew so well.

Occasionally, he looked up at me and smiled with contentment. He was adorable, and I could tell he liked Sophia.

Once the credits rolled, it was time for bed.

“Okay, little man, it’s sleep time,” I said.

“Can’t I sit up a little while longer? Just five more minutes?” he asked.

I shook my head. “Nope, it’s bedtime for you.”

“That’s not fair.” He sulked.

“Jake, you know the deal here. If we build the fort, you do as you’re told, right?” I said.

His nostrils flared, and he nodded.

“And do you really want Sophia to think you’re being silly?”

He shook his head.

“Then, why not go and brush your teeth? I’ll be down to tuck you in.”

He looked at the two of us.

“I want Sophia to tuck me in,” he announced.

I glanced at Sophia, and she smiled.

“Sure, I can do that, but listen to your daddy, okay?”

Jake’s face beamed. He ran down the hallway to the bathroom.

I was a little embarrassed. “I’m sorry,” I muttered.

“What for?”

“I don’t know. He just gets a little excitable.”

She strode over to me and kissed my lips. “Don’t worry about it. I can tell a mean bedtime story.”

“I’m ready,” Jake’s voice thundered from his room.

“And that’s my cue.” She laughed.

“His room is the last on the right,” I said, and she disappeared down the hall.

I cleaned up the living room, popped two bottles of beer, and set them on the table. Fifteen minutes had passed, so I went to investigate. I stood by the doorway and peered into the room.

Sophia sat on the side of the bed, singing and holding his hand.

“Au clair de la lune. Mon ami, Pierrot.
Prete-moi ta plume. Pour écrire un mot. Ma chandelle est morte. Je n'ai plus de feu. Ouvre-moi ta porte. Pour l'amour de Dieu.
Au clair de la lune. Pierrot repondit.
Je n'ai pas de plume.Je suis dans mon lit.
Va chez la voisine. Je crois qu'elle y est. Car dans sa cuisine. On bat le briquet. Au clair de la lune.
L'aimable Harlequin. Frappe chez la brune. Elle repond soudain.” She stopped singing, smiled, and kissed Jake’s forehead. “Dieu bénisse, petit.”

“What does that mean?” Jake asked.

“God bless, little one,” she replied. “Now, it’s sleep time.”

“Sophia,” he said in a sleepy tone.

“Yes, Jake?”

“I like you. You’ve a pretty voice.”

“Well, I like you, too,” she replied.

“Sophia,” he said once more.

“Yes.”

“Will you make my daddy happy again?”

She stooped down and touched his nose. “Let’s see if I can.”

“Good night.” Jake snuggled down under his covers and closed his eyes.

“Bonne nuit,” she whispered, and turned around.

Her face grew serious when she saw me. She crept from the room and left the door ajar, switching off the light.

“I didn’t know you could sing like that,” I remarked as we walked back up to the living room. “What was that?”

“Oh, just something my mother used to sing to me. “Au Clair De La Lune,” an old French folk song. It reminds me of my childhood and always makes me smile,” she replied, and sat down on the sofa.