Ash (8 page)

Three hours later, we were the home victors and lifted the trophy, bringing it home to its rightful place.

It was a bittersweet moment when Mackenzie’s wife, Denise, hugged me, and said, “Thank you for everything you continue to do.”

“You know how I feel, Denise. Only giving back what I can. It doesn’t hurt to care,” I replied.

Jake ran toward me and jumped into my arms.

“Is this little Jake?” Denise asked.

“Yup,” I replied, like the proud father I was.

“My, how you’ve grown,” she said to Jake. “And so handsome like your daddy.”

Jake turned and buried his face against the curve of my neck.

“He gets a little shy.” I laughed.

Denise smiled and turned her attention to Joe.

I was slightly relieved. I walked back toward the stand to where my father sat.

My mother was busy doing the rounds, talking to Danny and Tyler.

“Hey, Pops.” I sat down beside him.

“Good game, kid,” he remarked, and patted me on the shoulder.

“Come off it, Dad. I was terrible.” I shook my head.

My dad sniggered and nodded. “Yeah, you weren’t exactly in the zone, but hey, it happens to the best of us.”

My father wasn’t one to give false praise, not when he knew I preferred blunt honesty. He was an ex-marine, who fought long and hard for everything he has. I had the utmost respect for him, though I wasn’t always so sure it was mutual. My old man wasn’t as forgiving as my mother. Then again, while he’d been away in Iraq, I’d been a nightmare at sixteen years of age.

Jake sat down beside me and waved at Danny. “Can I go see Uncle Danny?”

“Sure,” I replied. “Just take it easy. Don’t run.”

“Okay, Daddy.” He beamed and stepped down carefully.

Danny waited nearby with open arms.

My dad relaxed a little more. “He’s a precious little thing,” he remarked. “He brings out the best in you. In all of us.”

I grinned. It wasn’t often that my dad praised my parenting skills. If the truth were told, he was the one dead set against Connie’s obsession with having her eggs frozen and the subsequent surrogacy.

“Every time I look at him, I see Connie,” I admitted.

Saying her name aloud left a pain in my chest. My heart felt like it was being crushed all over again. I couldn’t stand the ache, but I could never deny her existence. She should have been there, sitting beside me, watching our little boy enjoying life. The universe had other plans, however, and I fucking hated the broken excuse for a man I’d become.

“She was a good girl. Very spirited,” my father agreed, and chuckled. “Do you remember that one Christmas she bought you and her matching jumpers, and made you sit under the tree eating those god-awful cookies she made?”

The memory alone filled my eyes with tears. “Yeah, she said she wanted to make memories. I itched for days after wearing that thing. We were both covered in hives.” I laughed. “And those cookies, they were so bad. Mom wouldn’t even let Rosco eat them.”

My dad rested a hand on my shoulder. “I knew, back then, that she would be good for you,” he said in a soft voice. “It’s a shame Jake won’t get to know her.”

As those words left my father’s mouth, all the sorrow and grief flocked inside me. I wanted to cry like a baby. Not very manly, but at that moment, I couldn’t have cared less.

“I think I’m gonna go check on Jake,” I said, and stood. “Chat with you later, Dad.”

“Take it easy, son.” He looked up at me and saw the hurt in my eyes.

I made my way across the field, hearing Jake’s screams in the distance. Everything spun around me. My head and heart pounded. Tunnel vision took over. I couldn’t bear to think beyond finding him. This was every parent’s worst nightmare.

They looked at me, confused.

I didn’t hear a word that was said. My ears had a horrifying ringing sound inside them. Jake was my priority, and I couldn’t see him. Sweat seeped into the palms of my hands. I was on the verge of screaming his name.

My mouth grew dry when I saw Jake. He lay in Sophia’s arm.

She saw me and briskly walked to where I stood, frozen in place.

“What’s . . . what’s wrong?”

“He’s had a fall,” she replied. “But he’s okay.”

Sophia rested him on her hip and tried to console him.

“Jesus Christ,” I muttered, and held my arms out to him.

He slid into my arms and sniffled, crying into my neck. “I wanted the balloon.”

“Was he climbing?” I asked.

“I think so,” she said, and wrapped a hand around his back. “But we fixed that boo-boo up, didn’t we?”

Jake shifted and nodded.

“Thanks.” I stared at her and closed my eyes for a split second.

“I didn’t know you had a son.” Sophia continued to stand there.

“Yup, this is Jake,” I answered.

Sophia smiled and folded her arms across her chest. “He’s cute.”

“Thanks.”

“So is your wife here?” she asked.

“No.”

“Ah, an absent mother, perhaps.” She said the words in her best judgmental voice, which got on my nerves.

“My mommy’s in heaven,” Jake blurted out, and squirmed in my arms.

I released him from my grip.

He ran back to where Danny stood and left me alone with Sophia.

She looked ashamed for putting me on the spot. No sooner had I noticed the change in her posture, she became the arrogant idiot I’d first met.

“Well, that was a conversation killer, huh?”

I couldn’t believe it. My kid had just told her that his mother was dead, and she made a joke out of it.

“You know what? Thanks for patching my kid up, but please never speak to me again. Not unless we’re on duty.”

“Did I say something wrong?”

I walked away before I said something I’d regret. I wasn’t in the mood for making a scene, and I had a feeling she actually got a kick out of pissing me off.

She didn’t get the message and was hot on my tail. “I was talking to you.”

“And I’m not remotely interested in holding a conversation with you.” I glared at her.

“What? All because I mentioned your dead wife?”

I stopped in my tracks and turned to face her. It took all of my restraint to hold my anger at bay.

“Listen, Sophia, I don’t get your game. Are you trying to bust my balls? Because I’m confused.”

She stood in front of me, her brow furrowed. “I was just trying to be polite, but you have to be an arrogant asshole.”

I shoved my face closer to hers and pointed my finger at her. I could feel my nostrils flare.

She didn’t move an inch. Instead, she stood there, smirking at me.

“Fuck you,” I muttered.

“If you keep saying that, I might have to take you up on the offer,” she replied, raising an eyebrow.

For the first time in a while, I didn’t know what to say. I hadn’t expected her to be so quick and say something like that in retaliation. It made me feel stupid for losing my cool. I turned away. The anger simmered.

“I think I’m going to take Jake home,” I said.

“Aren’t you going to the cookout at Joe’s?”

I looked at her and noticed her smile. She was actually quite pretty when she wasn’t miserable.

“I will after I get my kid settled,” I replied.

It was awkward standing there, engaging in conversation, when two minutes earlier I would have buried her alive with my words.

“I guess I’ll see you back at Joe’s.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

I walked away scratching my head. It was, without a doubt, the weirdest exchange I’d had with anyone for a while.

“Why can’t I go to the cookout, Daddy?” Jake asked as I tucked him into bed.

“Because it’s not a place where little boys or girls need to be.” I placed Mr. Rufkins beside him.

“That’s not fair.” He pulled a face and hugged his teddy tight against his chest.

I chuckled and sat on the bed.

Jake didn’t find it amusing at all and frowned at me.

“Jake, you’re only a little boy. I won’t have you engaging in an adult environment. It’s not healthy,” I said. “And besides, you’ve had a really long day and need your sleep.”

“But I’m not tired.” He yawned.

“Oh, really?”

He nodded.

“Then, why don’t you just lie there and don’t sleep at all,” I added before kissing him goodnight. “Hey, I love you, kiddo.”

“I love you, too, Daddy,” he replied, and turned onto his side.

I left the room and thought about hitting the sack myself.

My mother sat on the sofa in the living room reading a book. She looked up from the page and smiled at me.

“Is he settled?”

“For now. He didn’t want to miss out on the fun at the station,” I admitted. “But he’s tired and should be asleep soon.”

My mother looked tired. Of course, she’d never admit it. That wasn’t my mother’s style. Instead, she would soldier on and do everything she could to help me.

“You should try and have a little fun,” she remarked. “It won’t kill you to let your hair down once in a while.”

I sat down beside her and ran a hand over my face. “And by fun you mean women, right?”

My mother chuckled and hit my arm with her book. “Well, you are a young man. I’m sure you aren’t short of female attention, honey.”

“Mom, I’m not gonna sit here and talk about my sex life with you. That’s just awkward.” My cheeks grew warm.

“Oh, sweetheart, sex is sex. Where do you think you came from?” She laughed.

I couldn’t stand it any longer. It was gross considering my parent’s engaging in any kind of sexual activity. I got up, grabbed my keys from the table, and walked toward the front door.

“Have a good night, Ash. I don’t want to see your face until tomorrow morning,” she shouted after me.

I had a feeling she was doing her best to push me out the door. Her plan worked.

The scent of barbecue wafted through the air as I pulled up outside Joe’s house. I got out of the car and stretched my arms. I knew exactly where to find the boys, and in usual style, the beer was flowing.

Joe’s house was a well-maintained, renovated split-level property. He called it his biggest nightmare on many occasions, but it was clear to see he’d put every effort into making it exactly what he and his wife had envisioned.

I made my way to yard and saw Danny, who was busy chatting with Joe’s wife, Kate. He saw me and winked.

I shook my head and chuckled. Danny would never change, and I was glad.

“You took your sweet time,” Marco said, walking up to me and handing me a cold beer.

“I had to get the kid settled and make sure my mom was okay with babysitting.”

He nodded. “Fair point.”

“How’s the food?” I asked.

“Damn, Joe knows how to cook a steak, and make sure to try the potato salad,” he stated before dropping my company for Joe’s daughter, Claire.

I sipped my beer and found myself wishing I was back at home. This wasn’t my thing at all. Well, maybe a while ago, but these days, I felt like a spare part. I hated that feeling.

Danny walked over to me.

We sat down on the steps of the small veranda.

“You okay?” he asked.

I laughed.

“What’s so funny?” A bemused look spread across his face.