A second chance: Sequel of Against all odds (38 page)

“
No?”

“
Have
your tastes changed as well?” He asked.

“
Some
of them yes.” I paused, his gaze in my eyes was making me feel
weak again.

“
Not
in that of men I presume... you still like the same type,”he
said sarcastically.

“
Listen
Tyler.. don't start again OK.”

“
I
said nothing which is not true.”

“
And
what do I like exactly, certainly not playboys?” I dared to
say. 

“
Playboys?
Obviously you are not referring to David so this was directed to me.
What makes you think I'm that type of man? Have you seen me with lots
of women lately? I don't think so.” He seemed offended by that
remark. I shouldn't have said that.

“
No
but-”

“
Cassidy
you're totally wrong about me. You have always been wrong.”

“
Just
cut it off OK and let me continue with my work. I still have 5 files
to finish.” I said as I turned around. I didn't want to look in
his eyes. I grabbed my bag to pull out my mobile and my file with my
assignments fell down on the floor. Before I could pick it up he did.

“
What's
this?” He asked taking a look at it.

“
It's
nothing just give it back, please.”I begged I didn't want him
to see it.

“
Oh,
come on Cas. Tell me, is it an assignment?”

“
Yes
for English. There is going to be a competition and I tried to write
a story.” I said shyly.

“
A
competition. Interesting tell me about it.” He sat down on my
desk. “So what is it about? Any theme you should write about or
you can choose whatever you want?”

He seemed really interested.
I was surprised. I told him everything including the fact that
whoever won had to go out of the city for the national day of poetry
and writing.

“
That's
great, I always liked this sort of things. Can I take a look at what
you wrote, maybe I can help.”

“
OK,
but don't laugh, please. I'm kind of embarrassed,” I admitted.

He looked at me and smiled.

“
Embarrassed?
Why what did you write, not an erotic story I hope.” He said
chuckling.

I blushed..

“
No..but
it's personal. A sort of biography of a person who forgot all her
life and who is trying to find herself again. It's about love and
sadness and all the things that I can't express in real life. All the
emptiness I feel, all the things I lost. I'm not a complete person
Tyler, sometimes I just look at the mirror and wonder who I really
am. What I have really done in my life.”

His gaze had softened so
much that he looked as if he was a different person. He looked so
handsome right now. All the cockiness had disappeared. He grabbed my
hand and kissed it. I was taken by surprise.

“
I'm
sorry.” He said. I looked questionably at him. 

“
For
what?”

“
For
all of this, it 's all my fault. It should have happened to me not to
you.”

“
I
don't understand Tyler.” What was he talking about?

“
You
were with me, in my car the night of the accident.” He
admitted. My jaw dropped.

“
What?”

“
I
was driving furiously. I was angry. I wasn't reasoning, we had fought
again.”

My mind tried to absorb all
the information he was giving me. I felt my stomach lurching.

“
You
were driving? Oh my God, I was with you? I can't believe this. And
why did we fight?”

“
Because
I was jealous of you and David.”

My eyes widened as I looked
shocked at him.

“
David?
I was already in love with him at that time?”

“
You
were always in love with him, even while you were with me. Cassidy
we've been together for years. This is not something recent. Seven
years.”

My heart missed a beat. This
was not what I had thought.

“
Seven
years? No this can't be possible.. what are you saying?”

“
Cassidy
we lived together, we were..”

“
No
stop, I don't want to hear this!!”

“
But
why? Why don't you want to know. It's important.”

“
No,
it's not. Tyler I'm sorry, but I can't love you.”

His gaze saddened. I could
see the pain returning in his eyes..

“
Cassidy,
you have loved me. We were madly in love, it's just that you don't
remember.”

“
No.
I can't do it just because I have done it in the past. That past
doesn't exist anymore.”

“
OK,
fine. I understand. I won't tell you anything else.”

Saying this, he stood up and
went back in his office taking my assignment with him. I felt sorry
for him. I really did, but I couldn't lie. I couldn't give him false
hopes. David was my life now. I didn't care what had happened before.
I continued with my work, trying not to look at the open door in his
office. He had been quiet since he had left my office. I stood up and
peeped at him. He was seated at his desk, his elbows propped on his
desk and his face buried in his hands. My assignment was in front of
him. This was the first time I have seen him so devastated. I've been
cruel with him and maybe he didn't deserve it.

“
Tyler..”
I said  in a whisper.

He opened his eyes and
looked at me. His face was so pale and sad.

“
I'm
sorry,” I murmured.

“
Don't
be. I made a lot of mistakes Cassidy, for which I'm still paying now.
Listen I'll surrender, I thought about this. I can't make you love me
if you don't want. I can't oblige you to be mine. I have to accept
it, although it's going to be hard. I love you. I will always do.
Here, I have corrected it for you. There weren't a lot of mistakes,
but I arranged a little the structure and added some words which
sounded better and corrected a few grammatical mistakes. It's perfect
now, I hope you win and have a good time with David. This time he
won.”

My God, I felt so bad. He
seemed another person today. I stood there looking at him, not
knowing what to say or do..

“
Cassidy,
can I ask for a last favour, please?”

I nodded...

“
Hug
me, please just embrace me. I need some comfort. I feel so sad, so
empty.”

I walked slowly towards him.
He grabbed my wrist and pulled me into his arms and hugged me tight.
Then,he buried his face in my neck. For a moment, I froze but then I
hugged him back. I put my arms around his neck and caressed his head
to comfort him. He let himself go and cried. Tears rolled down his
eyes. I was flabbergasted. His mask was little by little getting off.
I felt so sorry for him, I wish I could help him but I couldn't do
anything.

CHAPTER 29

That night I had slept very
little. My mind just couldn't shut down, it couldn't stop. I kept
reliving all the events of the day. I kept thinking about the things
that Tyler had told me, about the new things I had discovered about
myself and my past.

I felt very tired when the
following morning I got out of bed. I went down and had my breakfast.
I was very hungry, the day before I had skipped dinner because of
work and when I got back, I didn't feel like eating anything. I felt
sad and miserable after seeing Tyler in that state.

“
Honey
is everything OK?”

I looked up and saw that my
mum was looking at me with concern. 

“
No
mum, nothing is right. I feel terrible this morning.” I
admitted. I wanted to talk with someone. I couldn't keep everything
inside.

“
What
happened?”

“
Tyler
said a lot of things yesterday. That we used to live together, that
we loved each other, that we passed the last 7 years together. I got
to know that both Tyler and David were my teachers. Mum.. what the
hell did I do in my life?”

My mum sat down. Her gaze
was sad. She grabbed my hand..

“
Honey
you did nothing wrong. You just loved, two men. Two men who were so
different from each other but who both had something in common.”

“
What?”

“
The
love for you. Listen I never thought you'd have to go through this
again. You passed very bad moments when you had to choose who to pass
your life with.” She said sighing.

“
Mum
did I do the right choice seven years ago? Yes when I had chosen
Tyler.”

“
I
can't tell if it was the right choice or not. Honey whoever you
choose you will never be entirely happy because you know someone will
suffer for this.”

“
Yes
that's true but.. was I happy with Tyler? Did I have any regrets? Did
I miss David.. did I?”

My mum looked at me sadly.
Her eyes were full of commotion.

“
Cassidy.
I don't know. I don't want to influence your choice. I can't do this.
I can't.”

“
Please
mum I need to know. Please tell me.” I pleaded. She looked at
me, still undecided if to answer me or not. Then...

“
Yes
you missed David every day of your life.”

My heart lost a beat as I
stared wide-eyed at her.

“
Oh.”
I didn't know what else to say. I hated the person I used to be. “Mum
then why didn't I choose him?”

“
I
don't know. You loved both guys, and you chose the one who you wanted
to make happy. The one who would have suffered the most, probably the
most fragile of the two. David had to cope with the pain and he
managed somehow..” She explained.

That was insane.

“
Yeah,
right by finding comfort in the arms of Kylie's mum!” I said
angrily. My mum looked at me and laughed. What had I said?

“
Cassidy,
David never forgot you!  He had other women after you, but he
left them all, because it's you he wants. What did you expect him to
do? To stay on his own? While you were with Tyler?”She asked me
harshly. She seemed angry with me. Why?

I looked stunned at her.
Suddenly she stood up.

“
Come
with me..”

“
What?
Where? Mum I have to go to college. I'll be late.” 

“
No
come with me. I'll give you a ride to college, there is still time.
This will only take few minutes. But it's important.”

I looked at my mum
questionably, what was she doing? But I didn't argue. I just  stood
up and followed her upstairs. We went into her room. I couldn't
understand.

“
Mum..
what..”

“
Sit
down.” She ordered. I obeyed while she opened the wardrobe and
took out a big fabric bag.

“
What's
that?”

She didn't reply instead she
opened the zip of the bag and pulled out a dress. A beautiful pale
pink dress. It looked like a wedding dress. She hung it and looked at
me. 

“
Mum
what's that?” I asked surprised.

“
This
was supposed to be your wedding dress, the one you had to wear to
marry David.”