A Mother's Shame (36 page)

‘I think we should have a celebration,’ Josh declared. Crossing to the cupboard, he began to rifle through it, murmuring, ‘I’m sure I saw a couple of bottles of wine in here . . . ah, here we are. It should have been champagne really but this will have to do.’

In no time they all had a glass in their hand and raising his, Josh made a toast to the happy couple. Kitty was positively bubbling with happiness and Maria prayed that it would last. Kitty had become very dear to her and she wanted her to be happy. She had a sneaky feeling that from now on she would be, so she raised her glass too and soon their laughter was bouncing off the walls.

Robbie broke the news to Frederick and Esperanza the next morning and they too were overjoyed to learn that Kitty would be staying.

‘We must have a leetle party!’ Esperanza cried.

Frederick smiled indulgently. Esperanza didn’t need much of an excuse for a get-together and a celebration but he thought it was a nice idea all the same. And then Binda said something that stopped them all in their tracks.

‘Do they not wish to become married?’

‘W-why yes, they do,’ Josh flustered. ‘But Robbie already has a wife somewhere.’

‘It would be of no account if he’d settle for an Aboriginal marriage ceremony,’ she informed him. ‘The men in my tribe are allowed more than one wife. I could take them over to the village where I came from, and the Elder there would perform it. It would be as binding before the spirits as a Christian marriage, and then we could have a real party.’

‘In that case I will certainly put it to them,’ Josh told her enthusiastically. ‘And I’ve no doubt they will both jump at the chance. Thank you, Binda.’

Binda smiled broadly then settling herself out on the verandah she sucked quietly on her clay pipe.

Just as he had thought, Kitty and Robbie were all for it, when Josh relayed Binda’s message to them the next day.

‘Of course, I’m not sure that it will be binding by law, but it might make you feel more committed.’

‘I couldn’t be any more committed to Robbie than I already am,’ Kitty said softly. ‘But it’s a lovely idea all the same.’

Robbie nodded. ‘It certainly is, so I’ll tell Binda to go ahead an’ arrange it just as soon as she likes,’ he beamed.

The date was set for two weeks’ time. Frederick would drive the happy couple to Binda’s village and after the Elder had performed the ceremony they would return to the ranch for a small reception.

Esperanza was almost beside herself now that she had a wedding to arrange.

‘We must go into Hobart and find you a suitable outfit,’ she told Kitty, and the girl didn’t put up much of a fight. She was quite enjoying all the attention. Once the shopping trip was over and the outfit was chosen, Kitty locked it away at the ranch, declaring that no one was to see it until the day of the wedding. Esperanza also forbade Kitty from staying with Robbie again until after the ceremony. ‘A wedding is a wedding, after all, be it a Christian service or otherwise,’ she told them primly. Everyone found this highly amusing, seeing as she and Frederick had lived together for all those years with no sign of a wedding ring. Even so they indulged her and before they knew it the big day was upon them.

*

Frederick arrived to take them in the carriage to Binda’s village and when Kitty appeared on the verandah looking like a vision, Robbie could hardly speak. Kitty had always been beautiful to him, but today she looked breath-taking.

‘Och lass,’ he said chokily. ‘You are as pretty as a picture. I reckon I must be the luckiest man alive.’

Esperanza beamed. She had played an enormous part in helping Kitty to choose her bridal attire and was more than pleased with the results. At first, she had tried to persuade Kitty to wear white, but Kitty had put her foot down. ‘I’ll not have some flimsy thing that will never see the light of day again,’ she said. ‘I want something more practical that I can wear again for special occasions.’ And so together they had chosen a rich blue dress that was nipped in at the waist then billowed into a full skirt, with a lace collar to show off her delicate neckline. On her head she wore a jaunty little hat with a tiny veil that partially covered her face, and she was carrying a bouquet of cream orchids that Robbie had picked from the forest for her that morning. Esperanza had tied them with a blue ribbon to match her dress and Kitty felt like a queen in her bridal finery. Esperanza had pleaded for the small wedding party to be allowed to accompany the couple to Binda’s village for the ceremony but on that Binda had stayed firm.

‘Only the two to be bonded and the Elder are allowed to be present,’ she told her mistress solemnly.

Kitty gazed at Robbie. He was dressed in his McPhee tartan kilt and looked every inch the rugged Highlander. Josh had taken him into the tailor’s in Hobart for a new white shirt. He had shaved and plastered his unruly red hair with macassar oil, but already it was springing back into curls and Kitty’s heart flooded with love as he helped her up into the small carriage. Esperanza and the children had decorated it with flowers and ribbons, and as the two were driven away side by side they waved from the window.

‘Now we must hurry back to the ranch and put the finishing touches to the wedding feast,’ Esperanza declared. ‘Come Maria, get Faith and you can travel back in the trap with me.’ Esperanza was a very experienced horsewoman and would normally have arrived on her beautiful spirited mare, but knowing that Maria would need to get the baby safely back to the ranch she had chosen to use the trap today.

The ranch was a hive of activity when the women got there. The house boys had arranged tables all along the length of one wall in the large main reception room and they were heaving beneath the weight of bowlsful of newly baked bread, whole legs of pork, sides of lamb and great cuts of beef, as well as a variety of pickles and assorted pies.

‘Good grief,’ Maria giggled. ‘There’s enough food here to feed the whole of Hobart! How are we ever going to eat it all?’

‘Far better for there to be too much than not enough,’ Esperanza responded and then she darted away to issue her last-minute orders. It would soon be time to welcome the newlyweds.

In the small village where Binda had been born and raised, Robbie and Kitty were just leaving the hut where the Elder had performed the ’bonding ceremony’. It had involved much chanting and joining of hands as the Elder called on the spirits to recognise the bond between the two, and neither of them had understood much of it, but they embraced it all the same. They were aware that the marriage would never be recognised in law, but for Kitty and Robbie it was enough.

‘It is done, but he said that we wouldn’t be properly bonded until after the birth of our first child,’ Robbie told Frederick as they climbed back into the gaily decorated carriage while the young Aboriginal women danced about and threw flowers at them.

‘Then we shan’t have to wait too long, shall we?’ Kitty answered with a twinkle in her eye. Frederick then urged the horses forward and they trotted off at a smart pace to enjoy their reception.

‘I can’t believe that in less than a week you’ll be gone,’ Kitty said fretfully as she folded some more of Faith’s clothes into an open trunk.

It was now early in October and Josh had secured passages on the
Sea Queen,
which would be sailing for England the following week.

‘An’ how are yer goin’ to manage on the journey back wi’ little Faith to see to, an’ all the washin’ an’ everythin’ all on yer own?’ she went on.

‘I’m sure that I shall manage,’ Maria told her confidently. ‘I’m quite capable, you know, and Josh will be there to help.’

Kitty stared at her thoughtfully before plucking up the courage to ask, ‘An’ what’s goin’ to happen wi’ you an’ Josh when yer get back? A blind man on a gallopin’ donkey can see that yer have feelin’s fer each other.’

Maria’s hands became still and now she looked at Kitty and sighed. There was no denying it any longer but they had decided to wait until they got home and see what sort of a reception they might receive. Josh’s parents should have received the letter informing them of the date of their arrival by the time they got back, and should be expecting them. Maria could only pray that they would welcome their grandchild – and then if they did, she and Josh might look to their own futures. And yet no matter how hard she tried to convince herself otherwise, she could never imagine them accepting her. It was different for Kitty and Robbie. Out here, no one seemed to mind whether couples were legally wed or not, but it was totally different in England. Still, she decided, she would cross that bridge when she came to it. For now, her main concern was getting the child safely home. She could remember only too well how difficult the outward voyage had been, and the loss of lives that had occurred during the journey, and part of her was dreading it. Faith was still so tiny and vulnerable. But at least this time Josh had managed to secure better cabins for them so with luck that would make a difference.

Kitty was humming softly to herself now as she continued with the packing, and as Maria looked at her she saw that the girl was positively glowing; life with Robbie obviously suited her. She had gained weight too and was very much looking forward to the birth of her child.

‘We want at least six nippers,’ she had told Maria cheerfully, which probably accounted for why Robbie was already adding extensions to their cabin. On the day of their wedding, as Kitty referred to it, Frederick had presented them with a deed of gift, which meant they now owned their cabin and five acres of land surrounding it. It had been the icing on the cake for Kitty, who had almost danced with excitement, for now she truly had her own home and family. She could have asked for nothing more and Maria knew that she was contented and that she need never worry about her. That would not stop her missing her though. They had become like sisters.

‘We shall have to think about startin’ to pack your stuff soon,’ Kitty commented. ‘We don’t want to be leavin’ everythin’ till the last minute.’

Maria teased, ‘It sounds like you can’t wait to get rid of me. And anyway, what I have won’t even fill one trunk – and that will be mostly taken up by the outfit that Esperanza gave me.’

‘You know that ain’t true,’ Kitty pouted. ‘I shall miss yer all like mad when you’ve gone. In fact, I don’t know what I shall do wi’ meself all day.’

Maria could well believe that. Every inch of Kitty’s home already gleamed like a new pin.

‘Yer never know, yer might get to wear yer best gown on the way back,’ Kitty said excitedly. ‘The
Sea Queen
is a lot posher than the ship we came on an’ they have concerts aboard an’ all sorts, so Josh were sayin’.’

‘That’s as maybe but I doubt I’ll be going to any when I have a baby to care for,’ Maria sensibly pointed out.

‘Hmm, I hadn’t thought o’ that.’

They both laughed as they dragged the packed trunk into the corridor. Maria paused to wipe the sweat from her forehead and looked towards the open door. Not so long ago the land surrounding the homestead had been a mud bath, but now the grass stretched away into the trees like a lush green carpet, and it was strange to think that while those at home were preparing for winter, they were just coming into their summer here. Exotic plants and flowers were peeping through the earth in a riot of colour, and Kitty had taken to leaving out any left-over food for the kangaroos and wallabies to feast on – although she was careful never to approach them. The kangaroos looked harmless with their little Joeys tucked into their pouches, but Robbie had warned them never to approach one as they could inflict a nasty bite.

‘Josh also says that the
Sea Queen
is much faster than the ship we came on,’ Maria informed Kitty now. ‘It docks at Portsmouth, and if we make good speed, we could well be home in time for Christmas.’

Kitty shuddered. Her previous Christmases at Hatter’s Hall held no happy memories for her, but this year she would be spending it with Robbie, albeit in brilliant sunshine. It was hard to envisage, as she thought of the harsh winters back at home.

‘Happen yer mam will be thrilled to have yer back,’ she said now, and Maria nodded.

‘Yes, I’m sure she will. I wrote to tell her our due date of return so she’ll be expecting me, but I’m not so sure about my father. Between you and me, I think he was glad to see the back of me.’ She had written to her mother three times during their stay but she had always had to be very careful what she wrote. She had not even dared to tell her mother about the loss of her child for fear that her father might read it.

‘Huh, then he’s a bigger fool than I took him for,’ Kitty now retorted indignantly. She could not imagine anyone who knew her not loving Maria, let alone her own father, but then they did say there was none so strange as some folks.

‘Let’s not think about him for now,’ she urged. ‘The time is whistlin’ past, an’ before we know it you’ll be gone so I want to make the most of every minute we have left together. What do yer say?’

‘I say that’s an excellent idea,’ Maria agreed with a wide smile. ‘I’ll worry about tomorrow when it comes. Now, how about we take Faith for a little wander over to the pool? I could do with a dip to cool off. And on the way I could pick some wild orchids and put them on Isabelle’s grave.’ She still visited Isabelle’s resting-place at least twice a week and Kitty had promised to do the same once Maria was gone.

‘You’re on,’ Kitty answered with a cheeky grin and moments later the two young women set off to enjoy the warm afternoon in a magical setting.

Before they knew it, the day of departure was upon them. As Frederick loaded the trunks into the carriage that would take them to the ferry bound for Melbourne, Kitty clung to Maria with tears in her eyes. Robbie would be driving them there.

‘Now yer will write, won’t yer?’ she pleaded chokily. ‘Thanks to you teachin’ me, I’ll be able to read ’em. Robbie’s givin’ me some more lessons of an’ evenin’ so soon I’ll be able to write back to you meself.’

Maria nodded numbly; too full to speak as Josh’s uncle hugged her and said his goodbyes. Then it was Esperanza and the children’s turn and they too were tearful. Maria kissed each of the children soundly before hugging Esperanza. As a going-away present the kindly woman had taken her into Hobart and insisted on buying her a smart costume in a fine needlecord and a very pretty blue bonnet to travel in. She looked every inch the lady as Josh helped her into the carriage before passing Faith up to her. Then Robbie urged the horses into a trot and she waved from the window.