A Mother's Shame (34 page)

Throwing the gown across her arm she grabbed Maria by the hand and hauled her off in the direction of the bedroom as Josh watched with amusement before striding away in search of his uncle.

When Esperanza turned Maria to look into the cheval mirror, the girl’s hand rose involuntarily to her mouth. She hardly recognised herself. The dress, as she had feared, was low-cut and off the shoulder, and it made her waist look tiny before swirling out into a full skirt. The neckline was adorned with tiny crystals that danced in the light from the window. Other than that it was free of any adornment but it was the sheer simplicity of it that made it so stunning, and it fitted as if it had been made for her.

Esperanza clapped her hands with triumph. ‘It eez perfect,’ she declared. ‘But now we must find you some shoes and a cape to go with it. It still tends to be chilly at night and it eez a good ride into Hobart.’

She began to rifle through a stack of shoes that stood on a rack inside a cupboard until she found just what she was looking for. The pumps were in a darker blue than the dress and proved to be slightly large for Maria, but even so the woman assured her that they could pad the toes out with sheep’s wool to make them more comfortable.

‘We ’ave no shortage of sheep’s wool ’ere,’ she joked before once again rifling through her wardrobe for a suitable cape. The one she chose exactly matched the shoes but then she eyed Maria’s hair critically, telling her, ‘I shall come personally on Saturday to dress your ’air before you go, no?’

‘I wouldn’t want you to go to any trouble on my behalf,’ Maria objected self-consciously. ‘It’s quite enough that you have so kindly lent me your beautiful clothes.’

‘Huh! I ’ave dozens of gowns,’ Esperanza said airily. ‘In fact, you can keep the whole outfit. I shall not miss it.’

‘Oh no, I couldn’t really.’ Maria was desperately embarrassed and could only begin to imagine what the clothes must have cost, but Esperanza waved aside her objections, telling her firmly, ‘You are young and beautiful. You should ’ave nice things and some fun as poor Isabelle did before . . .’ Her face became sad but then brightening again, she told her, ‘You will be the belle of the ball, no? Now come, we shall go and ’ave some tea while Binda packs these things up for you, and you can tell me all about ’ow leetle Faith is coming along. Then I shall get Robbie to deliver the clothes to you later in the trap.’

Maria obediently did as she was told. It was very hard to argue with Esperanza. Despite her protestations she was secretly thrilled with the gifts that the kindly woman had bestowed on her, and now her excitement began to mount as she thought of Saturday night.

‘Now tell me, is she not beautiful?’ Esperanza almost dragged Maria into the room and as Josh turned to look at her, his mouth gaped in amazement. He had always considered Maria to be pretty, but after Esperanza’s kindly ministrations she looked positively stunning.

Esperanza had swept her fair hair high onto the top of her head then teased it into ringlets that lay across her creamy shoulders. The blue dress showed off her slim figure to perfection, and he was aware that looking as she did, she could easily have been taken as a lady of breeding.

Maria blushed as Kitty exclaimed, ‘Crikey, Maria! Yer look like the gentry!’ She was cradling Faith in her arms but now Maria started to fuss.

‘Are you quite sure that you will manage, Kitty? You do know how she likes her milk, don’t you? And you won’t forget to change her bindings after her feed, will you? She should be all right for at least another couple of—’

‘Maria!’
Kitty said sternly. ‘I ain’t a simpleton, yer know. Now will yer just get yerself away an’ enjoy yerself, please. I’m lookin’ forward to havin’ this little madam all to meself fer a time.’

‘Yes, she eez quite right!’ Esperanza exclaimed as she draped the long blue cape about Maria’s shoulders. ‘Now go and ’ave a good time. I shall want to ’ear all about it in the morning.’

Grinning, Josh made a great show of offering Maria his arm. He too was looking very smart in a brightly coloured waistcoat with a matching cravat over which he wore a light tailored jacket. His legs were encased in a pair of tightly fitting trousers, and the whole look was complemented by fine leather knee-high boots. Esperanza thought what a handsome couple they made as she ushered them towards the door. Soon they were seated in the trap that stood ready, and Josh took up the reins. The couple set off with Kitty and Esperanza waving until the homestead was left behind beyond the gum trees.

It was a beautiful evening and Maria could not remember ever feeling so excited. Her mood further improved when Josh told her, ‘You look truly beautiful.’

‘Thank you,’ she answered coyly and they rattled on their way at a gentle trot.

When they finally drove into Hobart it felt strange. Maria had grown used to the solitude of ranch life and felt a little overawed at the sight of so many people. Eventually the Music Hall came into view and after drawing the horse to a halt, Josh handed the reins to a young boy, who was one of many waiting outside the Hall. Passing him a coin, he told him, ‘See that he is well tended to until we come out and there will be another one of those for you.’

‘Right y’are, sir.’ The cheeky-faced urchin grinned as he touched his cap and Josh helped Maria down from the trap. She suddenly felt nervous as she noted a number of finely dressed men and women heading towards the entrance. The women looked like multi-coloured butterflies in their satins and silks, but picking up on her mood Josh tucked her arm through his and told her, ‘You will be the prettiest woman there, now try to relax and enjoy yourself.’ And that is exactly what Maria did.

As she entered the enormous foyer, Maria felt as if she had been transported into another world. Enormous giltframed mirrors adorned the walls, along with bright posters showing the stars who had appeared there over the years. The floor was covered in a deep red carpet and as they moved forward Maria felt her feet sinking into it. When they entered the auditorium Josh bought them a programme and then they were led to their seats in the dress circle, where they had a bird’s-eye view of the stage. Golden cherubs were set into the vast ceiling and huge scarlet drapes that matched the material on their seats concealed the stage.

‘It isn’t as big as the theatres in London,’ Josh informed her, seeing the look of wonder on her face but Maria was too awestruck to answer. She watched as the seats below them slowly filled with people. And then suddenly the lights began to dim and the pit band started to play as the curtains slowly parted.

A small man in a bow tie and tails, and with a huge waxed moustache balancing above his top lip, walked importantly to the centre of the stage and announced the first act – The Riske Dancing Girls. Almost before he had had time to leave the stage, a group of girls in the skimpiest costumes that Maria had ever seen pranced onto the stage, their bare legs kicking in time high in the air. Maria was glad of the darkness that would hide her blushes as she wondered what her father would have thought of such apparel, but then she forgot everything as she leaned forward in her seat and became lost in the magic of the theatre. The dancers were followed by a magician who placed his female assistant in a box and sawed her in half before their very eyes, and Josh laughed aloud as he watched Maria’s hand fly to her lips in horror. Eventually the assistant was helped from the box all in one piece again and Maria sighed with relief. He then produced a white rabbit from a top hat and Maria applauded loudly, along with the rest of the audience.

During the interval Josh led her to a bar where he had reserved them a table and she sat and sipped ice-cold sarsaparilla as she attracted more than a few admiring glances from some of the gentlemen present. She looked every inch the lady and just for this evening she felt it.

When they emerged some three hours later following the second half of the show, Maria’s eyes were shining and her cheeks were flushed with excitement. She had watched every performer raptly and had actually cried with pure delight during the performance of one particular operatic singer who she was sure had the voice of an angel and had enthusiastically applauded the antics of the juggling troupe.

‘Have you enjoyed yourself?’ Josh asked unnecessarily as he helped her to fasten her cape.

‘Oh yes, I don’t think I shall ever forget tonight.’

He paused as his fingers slipped from her cloak and then without even thinking about it, he bent his head and kissed her there and then in the street. For a moment Maria tensed then relaxed against him. But then they suddenly remembered where they were and sprang apart just as the small boy they had employed for the night led the horse and trap towards them.

It was dark by then and Maria was glad of the fact; it would hide her confusion. Her heart was racing as the boy told them with a grin, ‘’E’s ’ad a good drink, mister, an’ I ain’t took me eyes off ’im all night.’

‘Good lad.’ Josh fumbled in his pocket and dropped some more coins into the boy’s outstretched hand and then as the lad scampered away to be lost in the crowds that were leaving the Music Hall, Josh assisted Maria up into her seat and soon they were headed for home.

Neither of them spoke until they had left the lights of the town far behind them and then Josh said tentatively, ‘I hope you didn’t mind me kissing you like that, Maria. I think I have wanted to do it ever since the very first time I clapped eyes on you.’ He realised that he could contain his feelings no longer. The sky above was lit with stars that clearly showed them their way and now Maria chose her words carefully as she answered, ‘I didn’t mind exactly – but I think it might be wise if you did not do it again.’

‘But why?’

She sighed into the balmy night. ‘Because we both know that nothing could ever come of it, and we would be setting ourselves up for heartache. You have an intended waiting back at home for you, and your parents would never countenance a relationship between us. I am just a servant.’

‘That’s not true,’ he said hotly. ‘During the time that you spent with Isabelle, she came to look upon you as a friend. And I
certainly
don’t have an intended, as you put it, waiting for me. I take it you are talking of Felicity Pettifer?’

When Maria lowered her head and nodded, he growled deep in his throat as he urged the horse along. ‘Felicity and I have never been anything more than friends,’ he informed her. ‘It is our parents who have hoped for a match between us but truthfully I don’t think Felicity is any keener on the idea than I am. We have known each other since we were children and I tend to look on her more as a sister than a wife. Felicity is a nice enough girl in her own way, a little spoiled admittedly, but then that isn’t really her fault. Her parents have ruined her shamelessly, which I suppose is understandable as she is their only child. No, Maria, I shall choose my own wife when the time is right.’

‘Even so, it could never be me,’ she said passionately. ‘As well as being a servant I was with child when we left England. How do you think your father would react to that, if he were to find out?’

‘But that wasn’t your fault. Lennie forced himself on you!’

‘Yes, he did, but even so . . .’ Maria let her voice trail away and they rode on in silence for some way until he suddenly drew the horse to a halt and reached out for her again.

‘Maria,’ he said with a note of desperation in his voice. ‘Don’t you realise that I am fond of you? More than fond, in fact. Do you feel nothing for me?’

She stared into his eyes before saying, ‘Yes, I cannot lie, I
do
have feelings for you and have done for some long time, but your father would disown you if we were to come together and I could not let you sacrifice your inheritance for me.’

‘Huh! What do I care for such things!’ he said hotly. ‘I have a more than ample allowance that was left to me by my grandmother, and added to that I could work. We would get by somehow.’ It came as something of a shock to Joshua to realise that he meant every word he said. Maria would be worth making sacrifices for. He was playing with her fingers and she felt as if little shocks were rippling up her arms but still she held back.

‘Let’s just wait until we get Faith safely home and then decide what we are to do if we still feel the same way,’ she suggested gently.

Knowing that what she said made sense, he sighed and nodded.

‘Very well then – but make no mistake: this is not the end,’ he told her, and urged the horse into a trot again.

‘Is Robbie not coming in for breakfast again?’ Maria asked the next morning as Kitty carried a plate of sizzling bacon to the table.

Kitty shrugged in an off-hand manner. ‘Don’t look like it,’ she mumbled before going back to the stove for the platter of fried eggs.

Maria and Josh exchanged a glance but said nothing. During the last few days all the sparkle seemed to have gone out of Kitty and Robbie was avoiding coming by the house. Maria had made more than one attempt to get Kitty to confide what was wrong, but up until now the girl had remained tight-lipped. Until she was ready to talk, Maria felt that there was little she could do to help her. It broke her heart to see the girl so dejected, so now she suggested, ‘How about we go and visit the spring later on when we have done all the chores? We haven’t been there for ages – and now that the weather is so improved I’ve no doubt it would be lovely there.’

‘What about Faith?’ Kitty answered woodenly as she took a seat at the table.

‘We could take her with us. The fresh air would do her good and she could lie and have a kick on the grass whilst we had a splash in the pool.’

Kitty thought about it for a moment before shaking her head. ‘No, thanks. I have the washing to do today, so I doubt I’ll be finished till late afternoon.’

‘As you please.’ Maria picked at the food on her plate. It seemed that they all had things on their mind today. She herself had lain until the early hours recalling the feel of Josh’s lips on her own and the words he had said to her, but no matter how hard she tried she could see no happy ending for them, just as it seemed there was to be no happy ending for Kitty and Robbie.