A Mother's Shame (47 page)

Despite not being in the first flush of youth, Robert was still a fine-looking man, and on the odd occasion when their paths had crossed, he had always had a smile and a kind word for her. However, she had no idea why he might want to talk to her now and was intrigued.

He marched up and down the room for a few moments, his hands clasped behind his back, as if he was trying to decide how to begin but then after taking a deep breath he addressed Maria, saying, ‘My dear. I fear that what I am about to tell you may cause you distress, so I apologise for that in advance. Even so, I would ask that you hear me out before you pass judgement on me. Do you think you could do that?’

‘Y-yes, sir,’ Maria stuttered as she clutched her hands together for comfort.

Coming to a stop in front of her and looking her directly in the face, he began, ‘I wish to tell you a story. When I was a young man I resided in the family home with my parents and my sisters. Of course, when I was old enough my father sent me away to be schooled and I am ashamed to admit I was a bit of a lad, always up to some mischief or another.’

He sighed ruefully as he remembered then went on, ‘Eventually I returned home and went into the family business as was expected of me. I’m afraid I had always had hopes of becoming a barrister, but being the eldest son I bowed to my parents’ wishes. After all, I knew that one day I would inherit the family business as well as the house when my parents died. During this time they introduced me to the woman who would become my wife. I feel no shame in admitting that ours was not a love-match. Our fathers knew that both their businesses would be enhanced by our union and so we went along with it as was expected of us. It was whilst we were betrothed that I met a young woman from a neighbouring village, and I’m afraid I fell in love with her – and, I like to think, she with me.’

He gazed towards the window with a faraway look in his eyes, but then pulled himself together and continued, ‘We would meet each other whenever we could, and after some time and shortly before I was due to be married, the girl informed me that she was with child. I was full of foolish ideals back then so I went to my father and told him about the situation and said that I was going to marry her. My father was incensed, but I was sure that I was doing the right thing. And then suddenly she disappeared. My father told me that she had come to him asking for money so that she might go away to have the child, and so he had paid her off. I was heartbroken and found it hard to believe, so I searched for her. Of course I didn’t find her, so my wedding went ahead as planned, and I am not ashamed to say that I have barely known a happy day since. The only good thing to come from my marriage was Felicity, and when she was born I swore that she would be allowed to marry for love. Anyway, some years later I was riding through Chapel End when I saw the girl again, leading a little blonde-haired child by the hand.’

Mr Pettifer stopped for a moment to collect himself. He cleared his throat. ‘I reined my horse in, and I don’t mind telling you that it would have been hard to say who was the more shocked. I asked her why she had run away, said that I had searched for her, and she explained that my father had visited her, telling her that I wanted nothing more to do with her, and that he had found a man who was willing to marry her for a price and bring up my child as his own. Seeing no other option open to her, she had agreed to it.’

Robert took a handkerchief from his breast pocket and mopped his brow before telling Maria: ‘That girl was your mother, my dear . . . which means that you are my daughter.’

Maria felt her legs buckle beneath her, and had it not been for Josh rushing across to take a firm grip of her elbow, she was sure that she would have dropped to the floor there and then. The silence was all-enveloping as she tried to take in what Robert had just told her, but then things began to fit together like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. The way her father had always treated her differently from Henry and Emma. The way he had treated her mother; more as a servant than a wife.

‘I realise that this must come as a tremendous shock to you,’ Robert told her contritely. ‘I know that I do not deserve your forgiveness, but what I will tell you is that when I found your mother again I begged her to let me help her, financially at least. It broke my heart to know that I had a daughter whom I could not recognise. But your mother is a fine, proud woman, and she told me that we had missed our chance and that we were both wed to other people now. She felt that she owed it to your father to stay with him, and so we agreed that we would go on as before. But now your father and my wife are dead, so I think you deserve to know who you truly are, my dear. Furthermore, I have left a sum of money to ensure that your mother and her family need not suffer financially, and should she ever, at any time in the future, need any more help she has only to ask. That is the very least I can do for her.’

‘So it was
you
who left the envelope,’ Maria breathed, feeling as if she were caught up in some sort of a dream.

Robert nodded. ‘Yes, it was, and please do not think of trying to return it, for I shall not accept it. You are a fine, principled girl, just like your mother, but I must insist on this.’

The silence returned again then until Josh suddenly said, ‘Do you realise what this means, Maria?’

Bewildered, she shook her head, then looked up at him to see a broad smile on his face.

‘It means that you are the daughter of gentry. Don’t you see? Robert is your father and the preacher Edward Mundy was nothing to do with you. So tell me . . . what stands between us now? If Robert is prepared to acknowledge you as his daughter, we are on a level.’

Maria swayed as his words struck home. From now on, her mother need never work again and the family would be well provided for, and as for herself . . .

‘Do you think you might ever find it in your heart to forgive me?’ Robert asked humbly and Maria stared at her real father for a moment with a sense of coming home before saying, ‘Of course. It appears that what happened was not your fault and I thank you for the help you have given to my mother.’

‘But what about us?’ Josh persisted, taking her hand, and now as she looked up at him again, a radiant smile lit up her face.

‘Well, given these revelations I suppose I shall have no option but to marry you,’ she said teasingly.

As Josh took her tenderly in his arms, Robert led Helena from the room, whispering, ‘Come, let’s find some fresh tea and leave the lovebirds to plan their wedding, shall we? Then we’ll go to the nursery and check on that beautiful granddaughter of yours.’

Helena looked back up at him with a twinkle in her eye before answering, ‘I think that is a very good idea, sir!’