A Measure of Love (21 page)

Riley paused. “He okay?”

“Oh yeah, yeah, he’s great—we just make a point of meeting at least once a month to catch up, talk about any bad days if he’s had them.”

“Sure. I’ll probably be in the city at the same time, but I . . .” Riley started, running a hand through his hair. The weight of responsibility and questions about how he was going to organize his life now that Noah existed in his world lay heavily on his shoulders. “Seriously, I have no idea what I’m going to do about all of this. I mean, how can I be in New York when Noah’s here?”

Tate placed a gentle hand on Riley’s shoulder and squeezed. “Don’t worry about that yet, man,” he soothed. “One step at a time. You’ll get there. You spoke to Max and Carter, right? And they’re cool. They’ll understand.”

Riley nodded and pulled his brother into a hug. “Thanks, man.” They slapped each other on the back and stepped apart. “Take care, asshole,” Riley smiled, opening the front door.

“You too, jerk-off.”

·   ·   ·

Ten years ago . . .

The squeal that erupted out of Lexie’s chest when she saw Riley loping toward her, hair in disarray and his bag on his back, should have been embarrassing. It certainly garnered a few surprised looks from the other people in the airport, but she didn’t care.

She ran toward him and leaped at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist. Jesus, it was so good to see him. She smothered his face in kisses, ignoring his pleas for mercy and committing to memory the way his loud laugh shook his large shoulders under her hands.

“I missed you so much,” she managed through her kisses. “So much.” It had been so long since she’d last seen him at spring break. Lexie had counted every day they were apart, hating each one equally, needing him back with her, needing his hands on her skin and his breath in her ear. The darkness that had followed her like a cape at her back was so much more suffocating when Riley wasn’t around, thick and unrelenting, leaving her tired and praying for a hole to hide in. Having him back at her side never failed to ease the unforgiving emptiness that took root when her father died.

“I missed you, too, baby,” he whispered into her neck, holding her tightly. Slowly he let her down, her feet finding the floor. His eyes roamed over her face, concerned and loving. “How are you?”

She wanted to tell him that life was an uphill battle that left her breathless and broken, that sleep was the only thing she ever looked forward to, but instead she smiled, not wanting him to worry about the depression label being bandied about by her doctor. “Better, now you’re here.”

He curled an arm around her shoulder as she continued to cling to his waist, and they made their way out of arrivals toward the parking lot. Lexie kept her nose close to his chest, breathing him in. His scent had changed a little since he’d been in New York, changing from a more natural, woodsy smell to a metallic, urban aroma that wasn’t entirely displeasing. She’d gotten used to it, and even had the T-shirt he’d left on his last visit at Easter under her pillow so she could still take big gulps of his aftershave. She pulled it out when she was missing him—which was pretty much all the time—or when they talked on the phone and she needed to feel like he was near.

It had been a long year since he’d left in September, but now that he was home for the summer after completing his first year at NYU, Lexie could allow herself to forget how difficult the past nine months—sporadic visits aside—had been without him.

“So I have to take you straight home because your mom wants to see you, but then I get you all to myself,” she said as she maneuvered her car onto the freeway.

“Sounds perfect,” he replied, lifting her free hand to his mouth and kissing the tips of her fingers. She loved it when he did that. “And what do you plan to do with me when you get me all to yourself?”

Her stomach coiled in excitement. “I’ve made plans.”

“I like plans. Do these plans involve you being naked?”

She giggled. “Maybe.”

He shifted closer, his mouth at the back of her ear. “Do they involve my face between your legs?”

Shit.
He was too damned good at saying the exact thing her body needed to hear. Heat pooled in her gut, and Riley snickered when she wiggled in her seat. “How about you wait and see,” she offered, her voice a little shaky.

“Okay. I’ll be good.” He kissed her neck and his tongue flicked her earlobe. “But I swear to God, I can’t wait to be inside you again, Lex. It’s been too fucking long.”

“Riley,” she gasped. “Stop before I pull over and blow you on the side of the road.”

Riley laughed loudly. “Like that’s an incentive to make me stop!”

One of the things that Lexie loved most about her and Riley’s relationship was the relative ease with which they fell back into what made them
them
. As much as they were a couple, and Lexie loved him with everything she was, Riley was also her best friend. Whenever he came home, despite wanting nothing more than to strip him naked and have her wicked way with him, she also looked forward to just sitting and talking.

At the Moore house, Lexie was welcomed as she always was by Joan with a kiss and a warm hug. She watched as Riley shook hands with his father. Tate, Seb, and Dex greeted their brother with playful thumps and backslaps. Lexie missed this, too. Joan continually invited Lexie over for dinner when Riley was away, but as grateful as she was, it didn’t feel the same without Riley being there. If anything, it made his absence all the more excruciating.

They ate dinner around a banter-filled table, then Riley showered before the two of them climbed back into Lexie’s car with the intention of heading to her house. Savannah had been a lifesaver; she’d managed to convince their mother to try the new steak house in town, after which she’d gotten tickets for the newest rom com at the multiplex, leaving the place empty for at least a few hours.

As soon as the front door shut behind them, Riley was on her. He pushed her against the wall, his mouth ravenous, moaning and gasping into Lexie as his hands fought with the button on her shorts. She cursed his belt buckle and his fly, pulling them open, laughing as Riley nibbled and sucked at her neck before she groaned obscenely loudly when his fingers pushed between her legs.

“So wet, Lex,” he grunted, and pushed his fingers into her, making her back arch at the same time she called out his name. “That’s right. Feel it. Imagine my cock there.”

Goddamn.
His mouth was filthy and Lexie loved every minute of it. Becoming truly comfortable with himself when they were in bed, he’d started talking to her that way just before he’d left for New York and would frequently have her panting and moaning down the phone receiver whenever they had the privacy. The man was born for dirty talk and the harder and more turned on he got, the dirtier his words became. She’d lost count of the amount of orgasms he’d brought her to while whispering devilishly hot things into her ear.

“We’re not going to make it to the bed, are we?” she moaned, gripping his cock with two hands, desperate for him.

“How long do we have?”

“Two hours.”

“Then no. We’re not.”

He lifted her up, her legs around his waist, and slammed into her. Her cry echoed throughout the house. Riley tried to muffle it with his mouth, but she was too loud and it felt too good. The emptiness in Lexie dissolved instantly and her lungs expanded, as if finally able to breathe properly now that they were joined together. She grabbed at his hair and pulled his lips to hers as he began to move.

“Yes,” she chanted when her back shifted up and down the hallway wall with the force of his thrusts.

“Feels so good,” he gasped. “Your pussy feels so good.” His hand made its way under her shirt and under her bra. “Feel how hard I am for you.” He squeezed her. “Feel it?”

“Yes.”

“All for you. Give me that tongue.”

She obeyed without thought, letting Riley suck her tongue and twist and turn his own around it. He was everywhere, she felt smothered by him, and it was perfect. She clutched the back of his T-shirt, feeling her orgasm start to build, and began to meet his thrusts, their heaving breaths the only sound save for the slapping of wet skin and the rustle of clothing.

“Oh Jesus, you’re close,” he moaned. “So tight on my dick.” She cried out when he sped up further. “Shit, yes. Come. Come all over me, Lex.”

There they were. The words she knew would send her spiraling out of control. It was almost like he had complete power over her body and its reactions and, as he called out to her again and again to come, she gave her body over to him, embracing the snap of her spine, the curl of her toes, and the shouts of exquisite pleasure as she detonated around him. Riley yelled with her, his cock twitching as he came, panting into her shoulder, shaking and thanking God.

Unable to hold them both up, Riley slumped to his knees, still inside of her, before pulling out and collapsing to the floor with his head on her lap. They sat for a few moments, the pair of them trying to regain their breath. Lexie looked down at Riley, seeing his eyes were closed, and began to run her hands though the front of his hair. She chuckled when she noticed his jeans were still around his ankles.

“Welcome home,” she whispered.

He smiled a toothless smile. “Thank you.” He exhaled contentedly. “Jesus, Lex, it gets better every time.”

She had to agree. The feelings the boy before her conjured from her body were indescribable. She doubted very much that anyone else experienced the same when they had sex.

He stretched a little, adjusting and moving her thigh as though it were a pillow. “Who needs London when I’ve got this, huh?”

Lexie frowned. “What are you talking about?”

He paused, eyes still closed. “Nothing. I’m just playing with you.”

“About London? That’s random.” The shrug he gave in reply convinced Lexie he wasn’t simply playing and that there was more to what he’d let slip. “Riley?”

He opened his eyes gradually, saw her expression, exhaled heavily, and cursed, sitting up with a groan. “It’s nothing, Lex, I promise. It’s just . . .” She crossed her arms over her chest and he laughed uncomfortably. “Okay, so there’s an opportunity for all second-year students in my major to work abroad with a company to see another side of business. It’s for most of the academic year; it’s part of the program and gains the person extra credit, as well as being an all-expenses-paid trip. This year it was Japan. Next year it’s London.”

Lexie’s heart thumped in alarm. “You’re going to London?”

“I
could
go to London if my grades were good enough and I put my name down, sure.”

And of course his grades were good enough. Lexie knew that for certain. Riley never gave himself enough credit for how smart he was. “Riley.” She shuffled closer to him, the black cape pinching at her throat. “Have you put your name down? Are you going?”

He cupped her cheek and kissed her. “No.”

For one selfish beat, relief clutched Lexie hard. Riley’s being in New York was one thing, but his being in a different country altogether made her want to cling to him like a limpet and never let go. She studied him carefully, and it was then that she saw the glimmer of disappointment in his eyes.

From anyone else, he’d have hidden it well, but she knew him better. He wanted to go. Of
course
he wanted to go. That much was clear, but he was denying himself for her. In light of the past year, it was no wonder really. Lexie knew she’d been difficult despite her attempts at being upbeat every time they spoke, but it was just so hard having him so far away.

It terrified her that Riley might never come back to her. She’d tried to sound positive in every text and email, too, but truthfully, she was waiting for him to tell her he was staying there, or that he’d found someone else. Which she realized was fucking ridiculous. She knew Riley loved her, just as she loved him, but losing her father had brought home the true bullshit reality of life: nothing lasted forever. And it was scary as hell. Losing someone else in her life, especially Riley, would kill her for certain. Her heart simply wouldn’t take it, and yet she knew if she held him back, he’d resent her. The cracks would begin and then it would only be a matter of time.

Lexie took a deep breath and held him close. “You have to go, Riley.”

For a brief moment, he looked astonished. “What?”

“This is the opportunity of a lifetime. When will you ever get the chance again?”

“But it’s for the academic year,” he said quietly, tucking her hair behind her ear. “I know how hard this year has been for you, and I wouldn’t be home for a long time.”

Lexie swallowed hard, trying to disregard the twist of unease those words caused. “I know, but, seriously, this is your future.” Riley was silent for so long Lexie became nervous. “What?”

He huffed a laugh. “I really didn’t think you’d react this way.” He rubbed a palm down the side of his face. “Are you sure? I mean, do you really mean that?”

Lexie smiled and crawled into his lap, straddling him. “I love you, Riley. All the world. That’ll never change. I’m so proud of you.” She twirled a piece of his hair around her index finger. “You were always too big for this place.”
For me.
She rubbed the tip of her nose gently against his, fighting off the panic that thought carried with it. “You need to get out of here. You need to . . . have more.”