A Measure of Love (24 page)

It took a second for the penny to drop. “Tonight?”

“Yeah, if you still want to. We could. Tonight.”

Riley smiled, despite the whirling sensation in his stomach. “Sounds good. Maybe we could go to the Bayside concert. Have a few drinks.”

Lexie smiled. “Seven o’clock? I can text you my address.”

“Perfect.”

“Mommy, look!”

Noah’s yell pulled both of their heads snapping toward him. He was running over to them, his face a huge Batman symbol of black, yellow, and glittering silver. Sav and Jaime followed him, each of them with a flower painted on her cheek.

“Look at you!” Lexie laughed as Noah barreled into her.

“Riley, do you see?” Noah asked, patting his palm on Riley’s knee. “I asked for Batmans and she did it!”

Riley narrowed his eyes as though inspecting the work. Noah waited patiently for his approval. “That’s the most awesome thing ever, buddy. I’m super jealous.”

“Yous get one, too?”

“Nah, man,” Riley said with a smile, Noah’s earnestness almost breaking his heart. “I can’t compete. You’re Batman today.”

Noah laughed and turned to Lexie. “Can we see the parade now?”

“Absolutely,” Lexie replied. “Let’s go.”

“Can you carry me so I can sees them?”

“You’re too heavy, baby,” Lexie answered as she stood. “You’re such a big boy now. We’ll find a spot where you can see. I promise.”

Riley scratched the back of his neck. “He could sit on my shoulders if he wants.”

Lexie blinked up at him, then looked down at Noah, whose eyes had widened so much, Riley feared they might pop out. “Can I, Mommy?”

“Sure. But you have to hold on tight and listen to everything Riley says.”

“I swears it!”

Riley crouched down. “Come on then, man. Jump on.”

Little feet and fingers grabbed and squeezed, pinching Riley’s neck and shoulders as he clambered on, but Riley didn’t give a shit. Small knees and legs dangled around either side of his neck while Riley held up his hands for Noah to take. “You ready, Batman?”

He grabbed Riley’s hands. “Ready!”

“Hold on.” Riley stood carefully and Noah squealed with laughter.

“Yous a giant! And your beard tickles my knees.”

Riley laughed with him, noticing the affectionate look Lexie was giving them both. “Let’s go see that parade.”

·   ·   ·

Lexie couldn’t help but feel a little pleased with herself that she’d changed her outfit only a couple of times before meeting Riley. She finally settled on a sleeveless, patterned maxidress, a wide brown belt to bring in the waist, and flip-flops. It was a humid evening and she wanted to be comfortable. She knew the Bayside concert would be crammed with people, but she was excited all the same.

A night out with Riley Moore. It was like she was sixteen again, all flushed cheeks and pounding heart. The nerves skittered through her, too, which wasn’t surprising. What
had
been surprising was Riley’s reaction to her apology that afternoon. It was a shame it had taken so long for her to voice, and the guilt clung tightly, but his swift acceptance of it loosened its hold ever so slightly.

Knowing—and having beaten herself up over the fact—that she’d instigated the heartache between the two of them, she’d appreciated his forgiveness more than she ever thought possible. Over the years, Lexie had seen various counselors and doctors about her grief and subsequent depression in an effort to understand why she wanted to close herself off and push those she loved away.

Of course, the answer was pretty obvious—her father’s death had taken with it her natural ability to trust and have faith in people and situations. Unsurprisingly, having Noah helped her massively. Having a precious, fragile creature that relied entirely on her finally gave Lexie faith in something she hadn’t had faith in for years: herself. Her next step to gaining back the rest of the control was to open Love, You. Taking on such a project with the support of her mom and Savannah gave her an incredible feeling and convinced her that taking chances on things, and on people, wasn’t as scary as she’d thought.

Her job now was to work at building bridges with Riley and his family. She’d loved Riley more than anything, and his family—Joan, especially—had become very important to her. She couldn’t forget the look of shock and hurt that had been so pronounced on Joan’s face when she’d seen
Noah for the first time, and it killed Lexie that she’d caused it. As much as she had made the right decision for her and Noah when he was born, the regret she harbored was more than a little obvious in the reflection that stared back at her. With a sigh and a plan to right all her wrongs, she turned from the mirror and headed downstairs.

Lexie’s mom, Christine, was in the living room with a pajama-clad Noah. She looked up from the coloring book they were both working on and smiled. “I like that dress.”

“You looks pretty, Mommy,” Noah commented, glancing up quickly.

“Thanks, baby,” Lexie said with a smile as she kissed his head. “You go to bed when Grandma says, okay? One snack and some juice if you want.”

“Okay,” he murmured, his focus still on the crayon in his hand and the picture he was completing.

Lexie grabbed her bag and headed to the front door, sensing her mother behind her. “Are you okay?” Christine asked.

Lexie had told her mom everything, as she always did, about Riley. And, as she always had been throughout her daughter’s life, Christine was nothing but supportive. When Lexie had broken up with Riley all those years ago, Christine had tried her best to talk her around. She’d always had a soft spot for the little boy who first appeared across the street when he was eight years old, and she fought his corner with gusto. It had been fruitless, though. Lexie had made her decision.

Lexie breathed and smiled. “Sure. I’m good. Just nervous.”

Christine moved closer and rubbed a hand down Lexie’s arm. “Sweetheart, don’t be nervous. If it’s meant to be . . . just don’t let your history cloud what you want. Noah’s your priority now.”

“I know, Mom.” She knew her mother was concerned, and maybe she should have been, but Lexie was sure she and Riley could move past what had been before. They had to. For Noah.
She leaned over and kissed her mother’s cheek as a knock came at the door. Lexie’s heart fluttered as she opened it.

Riley was standing on the porch. He was gloriously sexy in his dark blue jeans, black flip-flops, and a sleeveless red T-shirt that showed off his ink. He looked to have trimmed his beard a little, too, and his hair was pushed back enough that it curled slightly behind his ears. His hazel eyes were playful and reached into Lexie, calming every inch of her.

“Hey,” he said with a wide grin that made her a little dizzy. She desperately wanted to reach out and touch him. He smiled over Lexie’s shoulder. “Hey, Christine. How’re you?”

Lexie’s mom moved around her and pulled Riley into a hug. “My goodness, you get more handsome every time I see you.”

Riley chuckled, returning the hug. “Thanks. It’s good to see you.”

Christine pulled back and patted his face gently. “You too, Riley. It’s been too long.”

“Riley!” Noah barreled down the hallway toward the three of them, arms out wide. Lexie watched in fascinated wonder as he threw himself at Riley, who caught him, picked him up, and threw him into the air before holding him at his hip.

“Hey, buddy!” Riley beamed as they high-fived. “Awesome jammies.”

It was such a beautiful thing seeing the two of them together, and it twisted the knot of guilt in Lexie’s chest at having kept them apart for so long. She was determined to make up for her mistake in any way she could. She owed both of them that much. Over the past week, having Riley around again, Lexie had allowed herself to wonder how she would explain to Noah about the choices she’d made. Did it frighten her? Of course, but what option was there? She wanted to be nothing but honest with her son and she knew, down the line, no matter what happened between her and Riley, she would have to tell him the truth.

“Are you and Mommy goings out?” Noah asked, pushing a small finger through Riley’s beard.

“We are,” Riley answered, holding him close.

“Can I come?”

“Maybe next time, dude.”

Noah pouted a little. “Can we play again?”

“Absolutely.”

“Tomorrow.”

“Actually,” Riley’s gaze slid over to Lexie, “I’m going back to New York tomorrow for a few days. I need to check on some things at my shop.”

A feeling of disappointment tickled Lexie’s neck.

“You haves a shop?” Noah asked, eyes wide, head tilted. The two of them were so damned alike.

“I sure do.”

“A candy shop?”

Riley laughed. “No, man. A shop where I fix cars and bikes.”

Noah appeared to consider this. “Can I come?”

“One day.”

“And I can see your house?”

“Sure.” Riley cleared his throat. “If your mommy says that’s okay.”

Lexie nodded. “I’m sure it’d be fine.”

“Okay, man,” Riley said as he carefully placed Noah back on the floor. “We gotta go.”

Noah sighed and moved to stand next to Christine. Lexie bent down and kissed his cheek. “Be good. I love you.”

“All the world.”

When Lexie stood, she noticed the startled expression on Riley’s face. “Are you ready?”

He nodded, smiled again at Christine, and held a fist out for Noah to bump. “I’ll see you in a few days.”

Noah didn’t even seem to think about it before he hugged Riley’s leg tightly, his cheek against Riley’s thigh. “ ’Bye.”

Lexie wasn’t blind to the shimmer in Riley’s eye as he bent down and kissed Noah’s hair and it warmed her very soul. Lexie had been more than relieved that they’d taken so quickly to one another. Not that she should have been surprised; Noah was a social butterfly and Riley was easy to love. He was also going to be an exceptional father. Like most things, he took to it so naturally. It was obvious he was already head over heels for the little boy.

Noah let go, they said their good-byes again, and she and Riley headed down the path toward the car. It was such a familiar thing, having Riley at her side that way, his hand at the small of her back, his aftershave wafting around her subtle and rich. He opened her door, smiling as she climbed in, causing goose bumps to ripple across every inch of Lexie’s body. He really didn’t play fair. As much as she’d agreed that they had to be sensible and consider the repercussions should they become intimate again, the pull she felt when he was near was almost impossible to ignore. As if an invisible rope connected her heart to his, her chest expanded and squeezed whenever he looked at her in that way of his, gentle and devastatingly sexy.

God knew it had been such a simple thing, falling in love with Riley all those years ago. It had been so easy, so effortless. She likened it to slipping under freshly washed bedcovers in clean pajamas: warm, soothing, safe, and very hard to leave. Once it happened, once she was old enough to realize what her feelings for him meant, there had been no question as to whether she’d love him forever. He was everything she’d wanted and, seeing him now, she knew nothing had changed. She still wanted him. She wanted him desperately. Spending time together had stirred up more heat and excitement inside her than she’d felt in five years. It was a heady combination of lust, longing, and a love she’d tried her hardest to put behind her.

There had been other men during their time apart, before Noah, of course, but none of them had ever come close to invoking the
passion and emotion in her that Riley did. The burn, the need, the exquisite desire that slipped lusciously through her veins, deep into her bones, was never there. The man was in her very marrow, and always would be, no matter what happened between them.

She watched him as he drove, keeping her eyes on his forearms and the ink that shifted and moved as he changed gears or turned the wheel. He looked unbelievable in his aviator shades, too. Being fascinated by Riley in that way wasn’t a new thing for Lexie, and she allowed herself the pleasure of staring, soaking him all in.

“You okay?” he asked with a quick glance over at her.

“Yeah,” she answered quickly, because it was the truth. She hadn’t felt as good for a long time and, as content as she had been with her life in Riley’s absence, it was clear that her heart had been missing something. “I just like watching you.”

He nodded and looked over at her again as they approached a junction. “I like you watching me.”

Despite the trouble he seemed to have in admitting as much, when he licked his lips, the smolder in Lexie’s belly sparked. “You’re not making this easy on me, are you?”

His laugh filled the car. “I didn’t know I was supposed to.” He leaned an elbow on the window’s edge. “Besides, I think we have a lot to discuss before anything else. Wouldn’t you say?” He lifted his eyebrows above his shades.

“Absolutely. I just . . . I guess us being together that way is the only thing we do well together.”

“That’s not entirely true.” Riley cocked his head. “We made a pretty great kid.”

Lexie bit her bottom lip, his words stirring the craving within her even more.

Riley was quiet for a moment as he drove. “Do you remember the night that we—?”

“Yes.”

Of course, she remembered the night Noah was conceived. She’d
thought about it tirelessly now that Riley was around. How desperate they’d been to get closer, to feel more skin, to fuck each other senseless, even with the vitriolic words they’d fired at one another. The heat of their hurt and frustration had exploded between them, resulting in his lifting up her dress and ripping her underwear in an effort to get inside of her. He’d been brutal as he’d taken her and she’d loved every second, ripping his shirt in kind as he slammed into her again and again. They’d come so hard together, she yelling out his name as he groaned beautifully in her ear. She’d been on the Pill and hadn’t given the fact that they’d made love without a condom for the first time in years another thought until her period was two months late.

As sex with Riley always was, it had been such an overwhelming experience, messing with Lexie’s already confused mind, that she’d told him to leave and never contact her again. They’d played the same game for too long and Lexie’s heart had been raw with it. She couldn’t face him leaving again, so, as she had done when they were nineteen, she’d pushed him away. He hadn’t even argued with her, which told Lexie he was as tired of their bullshit as she was. He looked to consider it for a split second with that pained look in his eyes before he’d fastened his jeans and left.