Everything Sucks Short #1 Underground

Underground

Everything Sucks

Short #1

Written by R. Smith

Edited by Shawn M. Greenleaf

Every time Hector and his friends went to the
movies, it bugged him. The ticket ripper. He knew her from
somewhere, but couldn't place her. She made the back of his brain
itch. Especially when she gave him the "
do I know you?
"
look.

He knew she was a Vampire because the first
time he laid eyes on her, he knew he'd sell his left arm to a pig
farm to see her naked. With Living People--even the inarguably
stunning ones--it was more like looking at a beautiful wild animal,
or pet. ("your dog is so cute, such a shiny coat!") No, Ticket
Ripper was definitely a Vampire.

His group of friends were all Living, so he
tried to hide how much she bothered him when they went to the
movies. They had no idea about the Vampire thing. He assumed they
knew about the Westons, most everyone in town seemed to, but he
still posed as human just in case. The thought of fleeing for his
life was thoroughly unappealing.

Despite the centuries of passed time, his
nightmares had yet to let go of the medieval years. He looked in
his late teens at base age, and he hated the fasting required to
mimic aging. Since he rarely liked a place enough to stay more than
five or six years, he seldom needed to worry about it.

He didn't mind the youthful look of his
base-age. He was fond of teenagers. They were never boring; always
coming up with fun and stupid ways to stay entertained. Befriending
a new group was always easy. Find the popular hangout and party pit
spots. Show up. Simple.

"I live outside of town. Homeschooled. You
don't wanna come to my house, there's a reason I sneak out all the
time. No I don't wanna discuss it."
Easy.

The Doghouse Theater was the new big thing in
town. Blahblah
old building
, blahblah
first theatre in
town
, blahblah. Yay, history! Lately it had become the hangout
spot of choice. Catch a movie and get drunk in the alley behind the
building; or the empty lot a few blocks over, take your pick.

Anyhow, the Ticket Ripper thing finally got
to him. He asked one of his friends about it after she pointed them
in the right direction for their movie, and sent them on their way.
He did his best to sound casual. "Hey, who's the ticket chic? Is
she local?"

"Oh, that's Iris Bollet . . . Bollety . . .
Bollectia, something like that. Why?"

He tried to shrug casually, like he didn't
really care, but Living People can choose the most annoying
possible moments to become perceptive.

His buddy Bud (no, really, Bud) grinned like
a doofus. "You think she's hot."

"Nah." He shook his head as if a fly had
landed on his face. "No. I just . . . she looks really
familiar."

"Sure," said Bud with a smile. "She lives
with two dudes anyway, so good luck!"

"Repeating: not into her."

Buddy seemed not to hear him. "Even without
the two dudes she's, like, way too old!"

Hector rolled his eyes. "Seriously, man. I am
not interested. Calm your balls."

They passed through the double door into the
darkened room, and Buddy
almost
giggled. He was a big
giggler, but he always tried hard to stifle it, so it usually came
out as a high-pitched snort. "No,
they
should calm their
balls," he said, pointing to their friends Laura and Owen, who were
seated next to Emily and Chloe in the backmost row, furiously
making out. Emily and Chloe were chit-chatting pleasantly as if the
grope-fest wasn't even happening.

Hector smacked Laura in the back of the head
as he plunked down in the seat next to her.

"Hey!"

Bud sat next to Hector. "You guys can't knock
it off for five minutes? We're in public."

"In the back, in the dark," Laura whispered.
"That's the whole point." She flashed her sweetest Piss Off look at
them, then went back to slobbering on Owen.

Hector leaned forward enough to see around
them. "Why did we invite them?"

Emily shrugged. "Whatever. They just hooked
up."

"Kinda my point."

Owen broke free with an annoyed huff. "Don't
wreck this for me, okay Grandma?" He pleaded. "It took me two
months to get her to dump Captain Asshole!"

"I can't even remember why I went out with
him at all," Laura said softly, gazing at Owen. "I love you so
much."

"I love
you
so much, " Owen whispered
back. The slobbering resumed.

Hector huffed and settled into his seat.
"This is so gross." His annoyance festered until previews started
and the Laura/Owen monster became 2 separate people again. His
relief was short lived. When the face-sucking ended, the endless
stream of schmoopy-talk began.

You have perfect eyes; you're so beautiful;
you're my whole world, baby; I'll never let anything bad happen to
you, would you do anything for me? Of course I would, wuv wuv
wuv.

They were whispering softly enough, Hector
thought maybe he could only hear them because of his superior
Vampire hearing, but then Emily and Bud; almost in unison; grabbed
onto the seats in front of them and jumped over. Hector eagerly
followed suit as they hopped over one more row of seats before
looking back at Chloe, who shrugged and joined them. She didn't
seem to have a strong opinion on the subject.

Hector felt bad for her. She had been good
friends with both Owen and Laura for years, and he got the feeling
she was smart enough to realize what her future held. When her
friends' Epic Romance inevitably ended; probably in an obnoxious
hurricane of melodrama, she'd be stuck between the two of them like
a human wishbone. He shoved a handful of popcorn into his mouth and
tried to focus on the previews.
If she takes it real bad, maybe
I'll turn her and we can leave town.

Hector preferred frequent changes of scenery,
but he appreciated Stevensville quite a bit. The people were nice,
and the teens were bored enough to be talked into all kinds of
outrageous crap in the name of "cuz we can, guys!" As usual, after
the movie they all got drunk in the alley behind the theater. Well,
the kids got drunk,  Hector drank and
pretended
to have
a good strong buzz. If the kids saw how much booze it took to get
him truly well and blotted, they might start wondering.

When sunrise was only hours away, the group
said their goodbyes and scampered off toward their homes or
crash-pads. Hector fished car keys out of his pocket, and headed
for the front lot. He was staring up at the star flecked Montana
sky, instead of in front of him, when he ended up running smack
into someone. Iris the Ticket Ripper.

She stood firm, staring daggers at him. No,
not daggers. Rocket launchers.

He stared back at her, baffled. "Where do I
know you from?"

"Hell."

Not the response he'd expected. "Um . . . I
don't know your story, but my life's been pretty sweet for
hundreds--"

"Orvieto. The Underground."

Hector's jaw went as slack as if she'd just
ripped her clothes off without warning.

She threw a sudden punch that sent him
hurtling into the wall. "I knew it! It took me a while to be sure,
but I knew it!"

He tried to steady himself and get his feet
back; but before he could, she landed a hammering blow to his gut.
It knocked the wind out of him.

"I promised myself if I ever saw you again,
you would suffer!" She punctuated her words with several harsh
blows to the face. "You almost got us all slaughtered!"

Hector racked his brain, zipping through all
the faces from his time in the Underground.

She watched him struggle. "Imagine me looking
fifteen years older with dirty skin, and hair down to my knees.

This time he fell against the wall without
the force of a fist. "Idris."

"Bravo."

Super heated, electric anger rippled through
him, burning his senses as it went. "Idris!" He spat as he swung
his fist with as much force as possible; but she was ready,
deflecting the attack with ease and landing another solid strike to
his core. He grabbed her shoulders as she lurched forward with the
punch, and used her own momentum to spin her into the wall with a
satisfying thud.

She quickly rallied her senses and yelled,
"
You're
pissed? Are you
serious
? We let you off
eas--"

"You have no idea what it was like!" He
bellowed. "There was no place safe! No haven anywhere!"

Iris/Idris dropped fang and shoved him away
with a repulsed sneer. "And yet you would've destroyed what little
shelter we had!" She pushed him again. Hard. He stumbled back. "You
were reckless!" She snarled. "And now I see you're sluffing about
with shiftless teenagers? How can
you
; of all Vampires;
stand them?"

He glared at her, and thought back to the
brief time he had spent in the Underground with the rest of them,
all slaves to the Vatican, and at the mercy of their ever shifting
loyalties and squabbles.

Hector had become a Vampire the night one was
sent to kill his father. Nothing personal, Hector would learn soon
after. Just another night on the job. The price of protection.
Living Hector had stepped into the fray, meaning to save his only
family. The Vampire had been tasked with killing the Seniore
Astigius, but felt bad about the collateral damage in the form of
such a young man.

Once turned (and fully adjusted) he felt free
for the first time in his life, no longer ruled by duty or fear.
The agents of fear were everywhere, peddling toxic ideas and
poisonous suspicion among otherwise peaceful people. The reach of
their influence seemed endless. They pointed holy fingers, waved
books, and shouted Latin to cast out imagined devils. When
suspicion fell upon them, most could do nothing except bow, hide or
die.

He felt free of it all as a Vampire. Until he
realized he was the devil of the day. One of many; imagined or
otherwise. Living People fell under Papal scrutiny on a regular
basis, but they could at least stand in front of their accusers in
daylight without howling in pain. They had friends and allies.
Hector rarely encountered another Vampire; and none whom might help
if he was ever caught in the far flung net of righteous
hysteria.

In the end, he decided to find his maker and
beg for protection. The Vampire had never even revealed his name,
but he'd stayed with Hector those first days, explaining the
basics. Then, one day, he just snuck away, seemingly swallowed by
the city. What little Hector learned about his father's
excommunication, and resulting assassination, gave him a good idea
where he might find more of his peers. There were precious few
Vampires to be found wandering in Spain. So, he left the city of
his birth, and traveled to Rome. The guts of the beast; heart of
the monolithic monster. He hated to set foot anywhere near it. A
stone's throw from the men who defined holiness, and made it their
business to uphold the balance of a righteous universe with
heartless precision.

Upon reaching his destination, he hid in an
old drainage tunnel during the day, often pacing to pass the time
while water, sometimes hip-deep, flowed by him carrying all types
of filth; rotted or half eaten food, dead animals, even a bloated
human torso once. Rancid garbage. He left the tunnels as night fell
and wandered, hoping to spot a Vampire. He paid attention to talk
on the street, and kept an eye on windows and doors of known
dissidents, confident any assassin he spotted was likely a Vampire.
His wait lasted only four days. A man snuck out of his house in the
dead of night, followed shortly by a Vampire woman. She moved with
effortless stealth, and kept a safe distance.

Hector fell into step a safe distance from
the both of them. The stench of fear and sweat wafted off the
sneaking man in thick waves, so Hector assumed he was smart enough
to understand the possible consequences of his disobedience. He
watched as the man slipped into a dead-end alleyway, followed
shortly by the shadowy streak of his soon-to-be assassin as she
darted in after him. Hector calmly strolled over and waited for the
woman to emerge alone and bloody.

Hunger got the better of him when he smelled
the blood, so he called out, "if you're in a sharing mood, I
wouldn't say no!"

She laughed. He took it as an invitation and
joined her in the alley. After enjoying a nice meal, they bit the
body's throat aggressively to imitate a wild animal attack.
Standard method. "Were you following me?" She asked.

He said yes.

"Why?"

The Pope sent a Vampire to kill my father,
that's how I was turned. I have no other family, and it seemed
reasonable to think that if the Vatican has no qualms with hiring
Vampires, then they'd likely provide shelter as well."