A Family for Christmas (9 page)

Jack released her hand. “It’s late, you’re tired. And you’ve got a lot to consider.”

Her eyes searched his. “What do you mean?”

“I mean I won’t have my son living thousands of miles from me. I want to be part of his life, Rachel. I want to be part of every single moment of it. I have a lot of time to make up for with him. I want him to live with me
as well
.”

“You’re going to fight me for custody?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Yes, you did. How else could Sammy live with you...
Joint custody? Absolutely not. I won’t have him shuffled half way across the country.
”

He wasn’t sure how he felt about her refusal. “You would rather move back to Colorado and live alone?”

She flinched at his words, more frightened than ever before.

“There’s one other choice. If you really want what is best for Sammy then there really is no other choice.”

The weight of those words hit her at last. She shook her head.
“
No way. You honestly can’t expect me to marry you.
How can you ask me that? What kind of choice is that?”

“It’s more of a choice than you gave me, I’d say. So I’d suggest you get used to the idea. You’ve got tonight to think about it. I’ll expect your answer tomorrow. And don’t even think about running this time. It’s too late for that.”

The second he looked into her eyes, he knew that was exactly what she was considering. And he wasn’t sure what angered him the most. That she’d considered running away with their son. Or that she really wanted to run away from him.

He headed for the door before he said something else he might regret. So far, the evening had been full of them.

“Wait!”

He stopped with the handle in his hand, but didn’t dare look at her. He needed to sort through his feelings, which were all over the board right now.

“Who told you I was back in town?”

When he didn’t answer she added, “It wasn’t Michael or Amanda so...”

Without looking at her, he knew she’d figured it out. “Why so surprised? Liz and I have become good friends through the years. But don’t worry, she kept your secrets safe. Otherwise we wouldn’t be having this discussion right now, because Sammy would be living with me.”

Chapter Six

Rachel waited until she was certain Jack had left
.
There was only one way out of and it was to run as far away from Jack and the threat he posed to her happiness as possible.

She was almost finished packing up her and Sammy’s things when Liz called.

“What are you doing?” It shouldn’t have surprised her that Liz sensed her daughter needed her. Every single time in the past, when something had gone wrong, her mother instinctively knew when Rachel needed her comfort.

“Mom—”

“Honey, don’t do it. Please. Stay. Work things out with Jack.”

Rachel dropped the last of their bags next to the door. “Mom, how could you tell him I was coming home?”

Her mother’s silence confirmed the truth and had her wondering what other secrets Jack knew. “Sweetheart, I know it’s hard, but you have got to face this thing with Jack. Stop hiding from your feelings. Let go of the anger once and for all.”

Rachel closed her eyes and tried to squelch the need to yell at her mother for taking Jack’s side. “I can’t.”

“Rachel, you still love him. I know he loves you.”

“It’s too late for us, Mom. And I won’t let him take Sammy from me.”

She could feel her mother’s disapproval in her voice. “
Y
ou’re guaranteeing Jack will win custody, if you do this. Please don’t.”

“I have to. I can’t lose my son to him.”

“Rachel, please think about what you’re doing.”

“Mom, I have to go. Please don’t tell him.” She hung up the phone without giving her mother the opportunity to change her mind, praying that Liz would at least do as she asked.

Rachel hauled the suitcases out to the door and into the trunk of the Mustang, hoping the car would be up to the miles that lay ahead of them again.

When she reached Amanda’s house, she parked out front and killed the lights, searching the street behind her for any sign that she might have been followed there.

“Rachel?” The second Brad saw her expression he knew something had happened.

He stood aside and let her pass before closing the door. Amanda joined them a few seconds later.

“This is a mistake. You’ll only give Jack more fuel. Think about it. This is probably what he wants you to do.”

He’d figured it out. Well, she wasn’t really surprised. Jack would probably do the same. She could only hope to get something of a head start on him. “I can’t think about that, Brad. I just know that I can’t stay here. I can’t, it’s just too hard.”

Only Amanda seemed to realize it would be pointless to argue. “Would you like me to wake Sammy? He’s sleeping.”

“No, I’ll carry him out. It’s best if he sleeps through as much of the trip as possible anyway.”

Amanda wanted to say more. “You’re not going to try and drive straight through, are you?”

“Yes, I don’t have a choice.”

Her friend’s disapproval was easy to see. “
W
hat about your mother and Michael? What about the doctor’s appointment? You had such hope
s
. What are you going to do about Sammy?”

Rachel hated the thought that she was hurting her son by running away. “I don’t really have a choice. I’ll have to find another doctor. I’ll call Michael and let him know.”

“You know he’ll come after you, don’t you? You can’t hide from him. And you don’t have the money to fight him if he decides to go for custody. Rachel, don’t do this. Stay. Stick it out. See what happens. Jack loved you once. He might surprise you now.”

“I can’t. And you know that’s not true. Jack didn’t love me then and he doesn’t love me now. He only wants Sammy.”

Rachel carried her sleeping son out to the car.

“I’ll call you in a few days
,
” she whispered, before starting the car and leaving Austin behind once again, like that night long ago.

Of course, Amanda and Brad were probably right about everything, but she had to fight for her son and her own future, didn’t she? She might not be able to stand up to Jack’s money, but she couldn’t stay and go along with his crazy plan either. Or worse, hand over her innocent son.

She drove through the familiar streets of her former hometown while checking the rearview mirror constantly.

She traveled all night, relaxing only when she hit the interstate and headed north toward Ft Worth.

Sammy woke sometime after midnight
. He
look
ed
around him, confused. “Momma, where are we?”

“
It’s
okay, baby. We’re going home. Go back to sleep now.”

He was still half-asleep but he understood that they were leaving his family again.

“Momma, I don’t want to go
.
” He’d started crying. The sight of his tears was heartbreaking. She promised herself that she would make it up to him soon. Somehow, she’d find a way to make up for all the mistakes she’d made in her life and in Sammy’s.

*****

It was late the following morning when she stopped for gas and coffee and woke Sammy again.

“Momma, where are we?”

They’d crossed the New Mexico line some time ago. When she told him, she expected more tears.

“Why did we have to leave Gran’s place?”

Rachel sat down next to him in back seat of the car and tried to explain.

“Honey, it’s complicated, and someday you’ll be old enough to understand, but not yet. For now, all that you need to know is that I was trying to do what was best for you and for me. We’ll be okay. We have each other. Gran and Michael and Aunt Molly will come see us soon.”

“But I like Austin. I like Jason and his mom. I want to stay there.”

“Baby, we can’t. I’m sorry, but we can’t. Someday you’ll understand why we can’t live in Austin. Come on, let’s get something to eat, okay?”

She took his hand and walked inside the restaurant to order breakfast. Sammy’s unhappiness was a clear reminder of all of her mistakes that her son was being forced to deal with now.

“I don’t want to go, Momma.” He pleaded again once they were back in the car.

“Honey, I know you don’t, but we have to. Besides, Santa’s coming in just a few more days and you want to be there for that, don’t you? You don’t want to miss all those wonderful presents he’s going to bring you.”

“You said Santa could find me wherever?”

“Honey, just trust me, okay? This is what’s best for us.”

Sammy refused to talk to her for almost the entire trip back to the farm. He sat silently looking out the window and barely acknowledging her attempts at conversation. Rachel finally gave up and decided it was time for her to consider the future.

If she stayed at the farm, she knew Jack would find them, but she didn’t have the money to pick up and disappear and she couldn’t ask her family for help.

She could only pray that she would be able to find some way to stand up to Jack when the time came.

*****

It was late in the evening when Rachel pulled off the two-lane road leading to their farm.

Sammy had fallen asleep several hours earlier. She lifted the sleeping boy from the car and somehow managed to unlock the door with one hand and get Sammy into bed.

She’d been driving for endless hours without a break. She was exhausted and felt as if she could sleep for days. She’d just finished checking all the locks on the windows and doors when the lights of a car swep
t
across the front of the house.

Instinctively, she knew it was Jack.

Rachel checked on Sammy to make sure he was still sleeping. She didn’t want him to hear the confrontation that was sure to follow. She’d never felt more helpless or more angry than she did at that moment.

She yanked the door open, ready to fight for her son’s happiness. Rachel expected to find an angry Jack furious with her for disobeying his comment, but nothing could be further from the reality standing before her. Jack appeared almost humble. She’d never seen him look more vulnerable than he did at that moment.

“May I come in?”

She held the door open and let him pass, accepting the inevitable.

“G
ees
, Rachel
.
” He turned to look at her and she saw something in his eyes that took her breath away. This was the man she’d fallen in love with all those years ago.

“Was the thought of marrying me so terrible that you had to run away? Do you hate me that much?”

She would have given anything to tell him yes, but she couldn’t lie to Jack.

“No. It’s just—”

He moved closer. “Just what?”

“I guess I was scared. I thought...I thought you were going to take Sammy from me.”

He closed his eyes. “I was trying to do what I thought was best for all of us. I thought we could work things out together. We were happy once. Why can’t we be again?”

How many times had she wished for the same thing? “Because we’re not the same two people. Back then, we were only kids playing at being grown up. We weren’t ready for a serious relationship and look where it got us. We both ended up hurt. Don’t you see, we can’t turn back time. It would never work.”

“You’re right. We’re not kids anymore and that’s why we need to think about this rationally. We were friends before we became involved...emotionally. We cared about each other. We still do. At least, I still care about you. And I think you feel the same way. Rachel, we have a son together. Sammy has a father who is alive and can be part of his life. That’s a good thing, if you let it be, but you have to let me in. Please, don’t just dismiss me. I want to be part of Sammy’s life. Whatever differences we have, I think we can work them out.”

“Jack...” She turned away from the sincerity in his eyes. She didn’t want to work it out. She wasn’t sure she could survive another marriage to Jack, even one of convenience. She wanted—she needed everything. All the love and passion that she’d believed as a young woman existed between them.

“Rachel, we owe it to Sammy to try.” He was close. Too close for rational thought.

Jack turned her gently to face him. “Look, it’s late and I know you must be tired. So am I.” His smile threatened to do terrible things to her
resolve
.

“Let’s call it a night before we both say something we’ll regret. I’ll sleep on the couch, but I’m not leaving until we work this out. We can talk more in the morning when we’re both in a better frame of mind. We have to tell Sammy something tomorrow.”

The thought of having Jack so close was unsettling. “You don’t have to sleep on the couch. There’s another bedroom down the hall. I’ll make up the bed for you.”