A Family for Christmas (5 page)

“I know you’re scared, but I think you have to at least think about it. Having Jack in Sammy’s life could be a good thing.
Sammy needs a father.
You have to do what’s best for Sammy.”

“
I
’m trying, but I can’t have Sammy hurt, he’s been through so much. He’s already curious about Jack. What if he falls in love with him and Jack decides he isn’t ready to be a father. Losing Sam from his life was bad enough. I just don’t want my son hurt.”

“
Y
ou’re still hurting, but honestly this doesn’t have anything to do with you and Jack’s past
, Rachel
. You have to think of Sammy.
What’s best for him.
Having a strong man in his life would be good for the boy. He needs his father. I think you should at least talk to Jack.”

Tears stung her eyes again.
She could hear Sammy moving around in his room and she shook her head.
“I’ll think about it. Michael, I have to go. Sammy’s waking up.”

Somehow, she’d
always
know
n
this moment would come. No matter how much she might want to put it off,
t
here was going to come a time when she could no longer deny what she knew deep in her heart. Jack was Sammy’s father.

*****

“Honey, why don’t you get dressed while I make us dinner,” Rachel told her son as she rushed to answer the door. Someone had apparently decided to hold the bell down without ceasing.
Her mother had told her Jenny Martin, the
ir
lifelong next-door-neighbor might be stopping by to say hi once Rachel and Sammy had the chance to settle in.

Rachel reached for the door
knob
only to find Sammy had beaten her to it.

“Sammy—wait
.
” He yanked the knob open before she could stop him. The sight of Jack standing before them
wasn’t really a
surprise.
But this newer, humble Jack certainly was.

“Hello, Rachel. I’m sorry to interrupt
your evening
but I
was
wondering, well,
I’m hoping I
might come with you two to see the lights
tonight
?”

For the longest time, Rachel couldn’t
seem to breathe normally much less
bring words out. This was the last thing she’d expected. She could only stare back at him in amazement.

“Can he, Momma?” She became aware of her son standing close by, smiling up at Jack with a grin on his face that reminded her so much of Jack that it literally took her breath away.

“I don’t know...” Her thoughts spun. She’d been expecting an angry, defiant Jack. The man who stood patiently waiting for her answer confused her.

“I’d really like to spend some time with you and Sammy.”

“Please, Momma.” Looking into her son’s pleading eyes, it hadn’t ever occurred to Rachel until that moment that Sammy might actually miss having a male role model around. When he looked at her like that, knowing the uncertainties facing his future, she’d be willing to do just about anything for her son.
But w
ould she be willing to accept Jack in their lives?

She knelt in front of Sammy. “Is that what you want, honey?” Sammy nodded eagerly.

“Okay,” she gave in without looking at Jack. “I was getting ready to make dinner first. Would you like to join us?”

Jack came inside and closed the door
. He was
too close. She took an involuntarily step back away from him.

“
I have an idea.
Why don’t I take you and Sammy out to dinner instead?
It’ll give up a chance to catch up.
”

The thought of just the three of them together at an intimate restaurant seemed a little too much like a family. “That’s not necessary.”

“I know it’s not. I want to. I happen to know of a really nice place. What do you think, Sammy?” Jack enlisted Sammy’s help when Rachel was hesitant. “You want to help me talk your mother into this one?”

“Ye
s
.
Momma, can we? Please, Mom
.
”

It had been a long time since she’d seen her son this happy.
It was easy to give. Worry about the rest of it another time.
“Okay, if you don’t mind waiting. I’m not really dressed for anything fancy.”

Jack’s gaze
slid
slowly
over her
. The same tenderness she’d seen a thousand times in the past was there in his eyes
when he looked at her
. “You look beautiful to me, but this will give me time to put the new battery I bought on that old heap of yours.”

“
You shouldn’t have done that
Jack...”

“Rachel, let me help you out this once.”
He was so close.
She could feel the warmth of his body and he smelled so good.
Not like the Jack she’d known before. Older. More sophisticated. Different.

She didn’t understand what type of game he was playing. Why didn’t he just ask the question that they both knew he wanted to ask? Stop prolonging her torment. Instead, Jack simply touched her hair then gave her a gentle push in the direction of her bedroom.

“Momma, can I help? Pleease...” Sammy begged. It was easier to give in than
to stay and
argue.
She needed time alone.

“He’ll be fine. I’ll keep an eye on him.” She thought about arguing, but instead simply nodded and watched the two
of them
together. In many ways, they were so similar. It was a very real possibility that Jack Bryant was Sammy’s biological father, but did he have what it would take to be the man Sammy needed to get him through one of the most difficult times in his life? The old Jack Bryant didn’t. This new version seemed to be willing to move mountains to be with them.

Chapter Three

Rachel took her time getting dressed.
She needed time to think. Breathe. Not let the past cloud her judgment.

H
er fingers
shook as she
appl
ied
her makeup.

She could hear Sammy and Jack laugh
ing
as they headed back inside and she forced herself to leave the
safety of her
room.
S
he entered the kitchen in time to see Jack holding Sammy up to the sink to wash his hands.
Jack turned in time to catch her watching him.

“I hope he wasn’t too much in the way?”
she said mostly to cover her embarrassment.

Jack sat Sammy down and handed him a paper towel to dry his hands.

“Are you kidding? He’s a natural. It won’t be long before Sammy here is helping you fix up that old thing.” Jack tousled Sammy’s hair. 

“Momma I helped change the battery.”

“You did? That’s good, baby.” While Sammy chattered on about the car, her gaze met Jack’s. They were both so uncertain of the other.

“You look nice. But then you always were the prettiest girl around town.”

She drew in a breath at what she saw in his eyes. Against her will, she remembered times past, when Jack looked her that way. Their wedding night and the days that followed. Those had been such sweet memories. The passion they’d shared. The love or at least what she’d believed to be love, until he’d told her it was over.

As she continued to watch him, his expression shifted. He too was remembering.

The silence between them lengthened and Sammy’s gaze darted from Rachel to Jack curiously. He knew something was up.

Jack cleared his throat. “If you’re ready I think we should go. I called the restaurant while you were getting dressed. We have a reservation for seven.”

She retrieved their worn coats from the hall closet. She’d had hers since high school. Sammy’s was slightly newer. She’d hope to replace them this year, but it looked as if they would have to last another year.

For the first time, she was seeing things that Jack must be. The slightly frayed cuffs on Sammy’s coat. Would he think she’d been neglecting her son? Would he wonder how much better of a life he could provide for Sammy?

There was no way she could ever tell him how hard times had been for her and Sammy.
After
Sam died, the hospital bills had been enormous. They’
d
soon ate up most of their small savings. She and Sammy had survived -- just barely -- off her
modest
income from the job at the local paper, but for months now, she’d been holding onto the farm by luck and a prayer. Soon she would be forced to make some difficult decisions. If they were going to keep the
place
, she’d have to find a job that paid more, which meant commuting to Farmington or Durango where she could put to use the
master’s
degree Sam encouraged her to complete.

She’d hoped the decision could wait until Sammy started kindergarten.

“Ready?” Jack held open the door for them and she nodded.

Sammy and Rachel waited while Jack unlocked the Rover and he helped her son into the back seat. She took her place next to him.

They drove to Austin’s downtown restaurant district in silence, the awkward silence between them becoming almost palpable. Even Sammy seemed aware of it. He was unusually quiet in the backseat, watching the buildings as they passed by.

“Relax,” Jack whispered so that only she could hear. “I promise I won’t hurt you
again
.”

She turned to look at him, searching for hidden meanings behind those words
but there were none
.

Jack stopped
the SUV and she turned to look out her window. The same brightly lit Mexican restaurant
had haunted her nightmares for years. Rachel let go of a shaky breath
while
Sammy’s full attention was riveted to the sight in front of him.

It took everything inside her to get out of the SUV and follow Jack inside.
She
ignored the dark emotions brewing in his eyes and
stayed focused on
her son.

“Momma, look, a fish!”

She stepped next to Sammy and pretended to look.
“Pretty, honey.”

The outdoor pond was filled with fish of every type. It was all that Rachel could do to keep Sammy from jumping in after them.

“Do you ever go fishing in Colorado?” Jack smiled and gently steered the boy away from the fish and toward the hostess’ station.

“No, it’s usually too cold ‘cept in the summer. Right, Momma?” Rachel nodded because she couldn’t even think about speaking with all of Jack’s focused attention reading her thoughts. Why had he brought her here of all places?

His hand circled her waist, bringing her close when a group
in the foyer
waiting to be seated pressed in. Jack reached for Sammy’s hand before he could take off to explore the place.
“Stay close to us, buddy.”

“Right this way, Mr. Bryant.” The hostess smiled politely, then led them through the crowded restaurant.

As hard as she tried,
Rachel
couldn’t collect
her scattered thoughts as the hostess seated them in a quiet corner table away from the crowd. It was all she could do not to cry as she remembered that night long ago. Jack’s distant behavior. The tears she’d cried when he told her their marriage was over.

Sammy’s attention was easily distracted by the piñatas and colorful decorations surrounding them. He was completely oblivious to the tension between the two adults at his table.

She had to ask. Had to know. “Why did you bring me here? Why here of all places?” Her voice shook. Was it deliberate? Did he even remember that night?

Reluctantly she looked at him
. 

“I needed answers. I think I have them. And yes, I remember everything about that night.” His words were little more than a whisper. “I think about it all the time and there’s not a minute that goes by that I don’t wish I could turn back time. If I could, things would have turned out differently between us.”

“What would turn out differently?” Sammy asked.

Rachel touched her son’s shoulder and tried to change the subject. “Are you hungry, honey?”

Sammy nodded, but he was so excited he couldn’t sit still long enough to consider it.

Sammy’d had Mexican food maybe once in his entire life. Rachel decided to play it safe and go with the soft tacos.

Once the waitress
took their orders, Sammy was up and out of his seat the second he spotted the small Mariachi band.

“Sammy,” Rachel tried to corral him before he got away, but he ignored her and rushed over to the band.