A Family for Christmas (13 page)

She pushed his hand away and moved to the window. “I don’t want to talk about that. That part of our relationship is over.”

“Is it? Is it really over, Rachel? Then why are you so scared of me?”

“I’m not. I don’t know what you’re talking about. Don’t flatter yourself.”

“No? I don’t believe you.” Before she realized what he had planned, Jack pulled her into his arms.
And then he kissed her and proved to both of them it would never be over. At least as far as she was concerned.

Suddenly, the years melted away. She couldn’t be close to him and not remember everything. All they’d shared together. Every touch. Every kiss.

No matter what had happened between them, she still loved Jack. She would never stop loving him.

She pushed him aside and ran. Alone in her room, Rachel closed the door and sat down on the bed, trying to deny her reaction to the man who had hurt her so badly. She hated that even now he had the power to make her forget all the pain. She’d married him all too willingly while trying to tell herself that she was doing what was best for Sammy. But the truth was much more disturbing. She didn’t want to live without Jack in her life.

She
dressed for bed a
nd slipped under the covers. This was their wedding night. The night that she’d dreamed of spending with Jack again and yet it was nothing like what she’d expected. Theirs was a marriage of convenience. There would be no fairy tales
for them
now. Only the harsh reality of compromise.

She’d compromised love.

*****

Jack stared into the darkness of the night. The storm had continued to grow in intensity and with nightfall, it covered the world outside in a thick blanket of white.

It had knocked the power out a while back. The only light inside the room was from the fireplace.

A perfect setting for Christmas. The perfect end to a perfect day? He thought not. He’d married the woman of his dreams. She was his again and there was no denying
there was still sparks between them.
It hadn’t died. But it might as well have.

This was their wedding night, yet he couldn’t have felt further from her emotionally. And it was all because he’d pushed too hard. She wasn’t ready for the next step. He’d have to be patient.

He checked on Sammy to make sure the boy was warm enough. The furnace was operating off propane, so the house remained warm. He peeked into Rachel’s room. She was sleeping as well. He didn’t tarry there. She was too much of a temptation.

He went back downstairs, put more wood on the fire and continued to watch the storm outside.

Jack’s thoughts went to Sammy. It was hard to explain this instant connection he felt for the boy other than it was the natural bond between a father and his son. His son. Even now it felt strange to say.

A few weeks ago, he’d lived a life of solitude in New York, never dreaming that a new life filled with purpose and meaning waited for him in Texas.

He owed it all to Liz.

As much as he wanted to be angry with her for keeping his son a secret for all these years, he couldn’t. She’d given him back his life. His wife. A new son. And a second chance at happiness.

The boy looked healthy and yet he knew Rachel wasn’t the type to worry without cause.

“Dear God, I’m not good at this and I don’t know what to say, but please, please help him. Please don’t take my son from me. I’ll do whatever it takes to make them happy, but

please don’t take them from me again.”

As if in answer to his prayer, the wind outside kicked up and just for a second the clouds separated and the brightest star he’d ever seen appeared in the night sky.

Rachel and Sammy were here with him. She wasn’t running away. So why then did it feel as if he were losing her?

That feeling hadn’t come to him until today. Could it be just all the buried emotions the day had uncovered? In his gut, he knew it was something more than that. He’d felt it when he held her, when he kissed her. Almost as if she were holding back a part of herself from him.

S
urely she didn’t hate him still. He could handle almost anything, but he couldn’t handle losing her love. He wanted her. All of her, including her heart. Anything less than that was unthinkable.

There were times during the past few days that he had felt her feelings for him, her love for him growing in the concern she showed him, or so he wanted to believe. What had happened to make her pull away from him now? Today. Their wedding day.

Jack couldn’t ease the pain that tore at his heart as he tried to dismiss the fear of losing her.

And as he pondered all these things, the silence of the night was broken by the sound of Rachel’s scream. He pushed his dark thoughts aside and headed for her. Because she needed him.

Chapter Nine 

Something awakened
her
from a deep sleep. For a moment, she lay perfectly still, listening to the wind as it moved through the Aspen trees against the house. The only sound in the night.

Surely it was more than just the wind that had awakened her? Had Sammy cried out for her?

The room was pitch black. Rachel tried the light switch and nothing happened.

She stumbled into the hall, the wood floor cold beneath her bare feet. She stood frozen in place, trying to regain her bearings. With hands outstretched, she headed for Sammy’s room when her fingers made contact with warm, living flesh.

She screamed and
tried to pull
away from
the strong hands that circled her waist, holding her in place.

“It’s okay. It’s okay—it’s only me.” His voice sounded strangely distorted in the blanket of quiet that surrounded them.

She moved closer to his warmth, her body trembling. From fear. From
him.

Jack lifted her into his arms and carried her into the warmth of the great room. He sat her gently down on the sofa close to the fire, then knelt in front of her. Taking her cold hands in his, he rubbed them together within the warmth of his, his eyes never leaving hers.

“I’m sorry I frightened you. The storm took the power out a little while ago. You were sleeping so peacefully I didn’t want to wake you.”

“Sammy—”

“Is fine. He’s sleeping in his room. I just checked on him.”

“Oh, thank God.” She threw her arms around him and held him tight. Jack sat down on the sofa and pulled her onto his lap, holding her close while she cried.

She’d been so worried about Sammy. About them. And she’d tried so hard to keep her fears hidden away. Now, once she let them go, there was no stopping the storm of emotion.

She cried for what felt like years. When there were no more tears left inside of her, Jack started to put her away from him. She didn’t want to let him go. Didn’t want to deny her feelings for him any longer.

This was the man of her dreams. The man she loved. And this was their wedding night—what was left of it—and she wanted to feel like Jack’s wife again. She didn’t want their marriage to be a compromise.

Chapter Ten 

Rachel awoke hours later and glanced at the man sleeping next to her. It was real. She breathed a quick sigh of relief. It hadn’t just been another tortured dream. It was real. Jack was here with her.

He looked so peaceful lying next to her. It was barely Christmas morning and yet she’d already received the perfect gift from God. She stretched lazily and lay listening to the sound of Jack’s steady breathing and wondered how long it would take before Sammy woke them.

She reached for her rob and got out of bed. A
disturbing thought occurred that neither of them had bothered to consider before now. What if she were to become be pregnant again?

She glanced
back
at Jack and realized he’d awakened and was silently watching her closely. “Are you all right? Rachel, what is it?”

“Jack, I could end up—”

“Pregnant?” He took his time answering. “Would that be such a bad thing? Don’t you want more children?”

“No—yes, yes, of course I do, but...” She got out of bed and watched him flinch at her actions. “I do want more children, but it’s just too soon and—”

“Too soon?” he challenged. “Or do you still not trust me?”

As she looked into his eyes, she knew she had to tell him the truth.

“Jack, I did a lot of thinking last night before... I didn’t agree to marry you because it was what’s best for Sammy. I married you because I love you, Jack. I think I’ve loved you forever and—”

She ended in a rush as Jack got out of bed and reached her side.

“Please tell me I’m not dreaming. I don’t think I can bear to wake up again and find that this is just another painful dream. Did I hear you say you love me, Rachel? Because I’ve loved you for so long and I’ve waited and dreamed of hearing you say the words to me once again. So if I’m dreaming, please don’t wake me. I love you, Rachel. I married you because I was in love with you. That’s the only reason. I know I told you it was what was best for Sammy. I think I would have said whatever it took to convince you to marry me, but the truth is I love you.”

“You love me, Jack? You still love me?” Rachel asked in wonderment, unable to stop the tears.

“With all my heart. With all my heart.” He pulled her close and held her until holding was no longer enough and then he loved her and thanked God for the answer to prayers.

*****

Rachel showered and dressed, then followed
the sound of
Sammy and Jack’s voices to the kitchen and stopped. She watched them together while they were still unaware of her. Sammy was eating breakfast and talking to his father. The love she felt for both of them swelled in her heart.

Jack spotted her first.
The love she saw in his eyes took her breath away.

“Momma
.
” Sammy
ran and hugged her waist, his
face glow
ing
with excitement. She never got tired of observing his happiness at seeing her.

“You’re
finally here.
Daddy told me we couldn’t open presents until after breakfast. I thought you were never going to
get ready
.”

“Ah, so you’re not really happy to see me
,
you just want to open your presents,” she teased while smiling gratefully at Jack.

“Aw, Mom. I helped Daddy make eggs just like Gran makes. We made you some, too.”

“That’s great, honey.” She bent to give Sammy a
kiss
. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas, Momma. Come on
.
Daddy says you have to eat them while they’re still hot.”

“Aren’t you hungry?” she asked Jack when she couldn’t stand the silence between them any longer. She heard him laugh and glanced up, blushing at the open longing in his eyes.

“No. No, Rachel I’m not hungry.” He leaned in close and kissed her lips.

Their gazes locked. He saw all the obvious questions in hers before she could hide them.

“Don’t worry so much. I love you and I would never do anything to hurt you. We’re a team now.”

“What are you whispering about?” Sammy looked from one to the other in confusion.

“Never mind. Finish your breakfast, son.”

“I should start lunch soon,” she said to cover up the return of her nerves. She wanted to believe the things he’d told her, but it was hard. All the old insecurities were there. She didn’t know what to expect from their marriage or from Jack.

“I know it will take some time before you trust me fully.” He read her thoughts and got to his feet. Lifting her to hers, he took her in his arms, refusing to let her push him away even though it felt awkward in front of Sammy.

“He has to get used to us being together. He needs to see us being affectionate with each other. It will be easier for him to accept me if he sees you doing so. And I don’t plan on letting you go again. I can’t. I need you too much.”

She desperately wanted to believe him, but Jack was right. It would take time for her to learn to trust him again.

“I thought we could fly back home to Austin tomorrow. Spend the night in my house and then maybe we could surprise your mother the next day.”

Something in Jack’s expression took her breath away. He was just as uncertain about what was happening between them as she was. This was uncharted territory for both of them.

“Can we, Momma?” Sammy had been asking that question for a little while, but they were so lost in each other’s eyes that neither had heard him until now.

“Is that what you want, honey?”

His eyes lit up. “Then that’s what we’ll do.”

“Momma, do I still have to go to the doctor when we go back home?”

She’d almost forgotten Sammy’s appointment with all that had happened. “Yes, baby, I’m sorry. But it won’t be as bad as the other times.”