12 Good Reasons to Look Up Uranus (13 page)

A
RIES

Jupiter is still retrograde in your sign. Its presence there is reassuring, but with it comes the ever-present danger that you will suffer a catastrophic dress-sense failure
after attending one too many boot-sales. Do remember to read the forecast for your Moon and Ascendant signs before signing any electrical maintenance contracts.

Lucky accent:
Mid-Atlantic

Lucky state:
Rhode Island

T
AURUS

Oil reserves in Equatorial Guinea continue to be a worry for the remainder of this week. But at least Wednesday’s Jupiter rising may go some way toward helping you
unravel the meaning of your recurring dream about puff-pastry and the Beverley Sisters.

Lucky weakness:
Port and lemon

Lucky knot:
Clove hitch

G
EMINI

An ascendant Saturn indicates that if you are planning a sideline of your own, now is a good time to start an Ink Spots tribute band. On Wednesday, if an older person gives you
advice, Jupiter is trine in your fourth house, so instead of getting your gander up (it needs its rest) just tell them to shove off and mind their own business.

Lucky ice-cream:
Burberry

Lucky pants:
Day-glo orange

C
ANCER

If it is your birthday this week, Pluto enters your fourth house on Wednesday which indicates that the celebrations may not go as smoothly as planned when a post
jelly-and-ice-cream game of, ‘What’s the time Mister Wolf? gets somewhat out of hand leaving three members of the secretarial staff from your office with quite severe bites.

Lucky pie:
Hare

Lucky Herbert:
Asquith

L
EO

Socially, this could be an exciting week. Wednesday may bring an invitation you’d do well to accept. Ignore any protesters that you may encounter as mice hockey is a
growing sport and needs all the support it can get. By Friday, help from a quarter you least expected could give you the breakthrough in Pantomime you’ve been seeking for so long.

Lucky Camp:
David

Lucky Rush:
Eric

V
IRGO

Mars in your sign is likely to cause domestic upheaval this week. Expect an argument on Thursday over who gets to unload the dishwasher. Pluto transits your birthsign on
Friday, so a chance meeting with Roger Moore in Argos could well see you being offered the lead role in the BBC remake of
The Woodentops
.

Lucky vole:
Water

Lucky glue:
Copydex

L
IBRA

A persistent man in cricket whites will take on new significance in your life on Wednesday, whereas the New Moon in Scorpio brings only the promise of more free Eddie and the
Hotrods concert tickets. On Friday you will be followed home by a swarm of locusts, so it might be worth picking up some Raid rather than just putting it down as ‘one of those
things’.

Lucky tribe:
Crow

Lucky veneer:
Maple

S
CORPIO

Last Monday’s Full Moon stretched your patience to the utmost, so relationships of all kinds are going to suffer this week, particularly after last Friday’s over
fifties lunchtime special at the ‘Soapy Frog’ slipper-baths. On Wednesday, be ready to respond to surprising offers, particularly those involving Gruyere or Brillo pads.

Lucky dance:
Lindy-Hop

Lucky cleaner:
Doris

S
AGITTARIUS

Your magnetic personality has long been a legend in Rhyl, but this week it causes you more trouble than usual on Tuesday lunchtime. While passing a series of road-repair vans
in Lower Regents Street, you become stuck to a transit van, and spend the remainder of the week in Porthcawl.

Lucky gesture:
Token

Lucky language:
Colourful

C
APRICORN

Just when you were beginning to despair of ever being appreciated, at last, you have been recognised in high places. This trend will continue through the week with Saturn
entering your sign on Thursday when you will be recognised in three lifts, and on the escalators in Selfridges.

Lucky wire:
Warrington

Lucky Penn:
William

A
QUARIUS

Your ruler, Mercury, is going to be retrograde for the next few weeks. This always makes life uncertain and difficult for you, and could lead to nagging doubts,
self-recrimination, bitterness, and sleepless nights recalling past embarrassments. This is perfectly normal for anyone contemplating a new fowling piece, so try to remain calm. On Friday you may
be chased from a licensed premises with a yard broom.

Lucky tree:
Shoe

Lucky stock cube:
Lamb

P
ISCES

However ambitious you are, you like to have your home to return to and then close the door. This week, however, your chest feels much better so you feel like flinging the door
open and offering invitations to all and sundry, your friends, family, and even the man down the road who sells religious lawn statuary. Steer clear of Eggs Florentine on Friday, especially as you
may have a hot date.

Lucky club:
Army & Navy

Lucky field:
Arable

A
RIES

Last month’s Summer Solstice and Wednesday’s Full Moon mean that you’ll begin to make progress just where you hope to. Friends may be surprised when they see
the radical changes you make to both your attitude and your choice of footwear. After all, it’s not everyone that has the calves for platforms, and it’s time to flaunt them.

Lucky posture:
Improved

Lucky preservative:
Alcohol

T
AURUS

Great changes are afoot for you. This week the Sun transits Pluto and is followed immediately by a Full Moon in Capricorn. This indicates that you will have a unique
opportunity to find your true self. It might be best to start looking in the cupboard under the stairs, where you already have a lot to hide.

Lucky horn:
Cor Anglais

Lucky plum:
Victoria

G
EMINI

This week, the Full Moon following the Summer Solstice means that a strong woman with a plate of eclairs may feature in your chart around the middle of the week. Although some
uncertainty is indicated by the presence of Neptune in your fourth house you will at least have some idea where you stand. If you don’t, try asking a grown-up.

Lucky Penn:
Sean

Lucky stock:
Night scented

C
ANCER

You’re likely to enthusiastically greet all the unexpected opportunities that are heading your way this week. Keep your wits about you though, and your feet on the ground
– or at least off of the desk, as Pluto transiting your seventh house indicates that on Thursday when examining one of the drawers for a mislaid niece, you discover a packet of steroids and
an ‘elephant-ears’ thong in a secret drawer which can only mean that it is a rare 18th century Chippendale.

Lucky choice:
Sophie’s

Lucky plunge:
Icy

L
EO

After an exhausting week off, your ruler, the Sun, moves into dynamic Taurus, filling you with unusual impulses. You may make a new friend this week, or find that an old
obsession becomes interesting again. You could meet someone from far away, or even turn to a life of contemplation in a monastery. Important days will be Wednesday and Thursday, when you see a side
of someone you don’t like, or possibly just a person you don’t like from one side.

Lucky look:
Baleful

Lucky tone:
Mellow

V
IRGO

As Thursday’s trine between Venus and Saturn approaches, a close friend may bring you good news about those split-ends. With Venus rising, there’s a good chance of
new support trousers on Saturday, so make sure you are in the right frame of mind for a fitting. Watch out for a drama involving blue cake on Thursday.

Lucky reaction:
Surprise

Lucky event:
Three Day

L
IBRA

At long last things for Libra are looking up. On Tuesday, a lovely aspect between the Sun in Virgo, related by the common rulership of the Moon in the area of your chart
affecting foot-care means that you will finally discover an alternative for the flick-knife and the cheese-grater that you normally use to keep your hard-skin under control.

Lucky flooring:
Rush mats

Lucky Dance:
Charles

S
CORPIO

With Mercury high in the section of your chart that governs your career you should buy the kaftan you’ve been admiring for weeks – a striking outfit will come in
handy when you need to start looking for another parish. On Thursday you will run into a former colleague. Fortunately you both have comprehensive insurance and sympathetic brokers.

Lucky topping:
Onion rings

Lucky roofing:
Norfolk reed

S
AGITTARIUS

Friday’s New Moon in your sign will have helped things along a little, and this should be a friendly and sociable week, but don’t force your views about shoe-polish
on others now, as they may not be receptive. The weekend could see someone mysterious come into your social circle, possibly someone who doesn’t even care for leapfrog.

Lucky sprinkler:
Rotary

Lucky snack:
Dubbin

C
APRICORN

Relationships with friends and neighbours will go more smoothly, (particularly with the lady at number 32 whose husband works nights) in the weeks to come as Mars transits your
fourth house. There may be some confusion to do with your work, and it is possible that someone in your vicinity is not being strictly open and upfront over a possible move to sell all company
staff into white slavery.

Lucky clouds:
Cirrus

Lucky stitch:
Running

A
QUARIUS

Your impulsive and emotional nature may get the better of you at the start of this week. With mischievous Neptune rising, and Mars in your sixth house, it is possible that
someone may discover the pillowcase you keep in the bottom drawer of the filing cabinet, stuffed with woodlice. On Thursday you may well discover a new enthusiasm for being stand-offish after
3pm.

Lucky light:
Ultra-Violet

Lucky trousers:
Lycra

P
ISCES

Your winning way with a variety of everyday objects is now beginning to take on legendary status, but on Wednesday a trine Pluto indicates that you are on the verge of an
important discovery, and by the end of the week, using only two cocoa tins, a length of hairy string, and a modelling knife, you will have constructed a powerful telescope with which it is possible
from your house to see the nurses accommodation blocks at the local hospital.

Lucky excuse:
Astronomy

Lucky alibi:
Research

A
RIES

Recently you’ve had to change your plans, when doors that should have opened remained firmly closed. With Jupiter entering the section of your chart governing warranties
and guarantees, it may be a good time to take back the crowbars and bolt-croppers you have been using. Your choice of a monogrammed marigold at the scene of each robbery may have consequences.

Lucky pick:
The Locksmith’s friend

Lucky jersey:
Striped

T
AURUS

Surprising or exciting news comes to you this week. While it may seem as if you’ve been thrown into a spin, that may just be the first sherry of the day. On Wednesday,
comforting Venus enters your birthsign bringing with it all sorts of warm and rounded experiences. You should seize these with both hands as Neptune transits your birthsign at the end of the week,
which indicates the unwelcome return of sporadic belly-button failure.