12 Good Reasons to Look Up Uranus (21 page)

Lucky state:
Utah

Lucky condition:
Critical

G
EMINI

As Thursday’s Full Moon approaches, you may feel irritable and on edge, but in many ways you can expect some positive experiences in the next week or so, especially if
you are as flexible as your sign, and the graffiti on the staff toilet wall, suggest. At the end of the week you will have an accident with a bacon-slicer when he backs into you in the supermarket
car park.

Lucky marsupial:
Opossum

Lucky wave:
Dismissive

C
ANCER

All those with Cancer strong in their chart may experience some major changes in their lives at the end of this week. Especially if you have Cancer rising, you could find that
your duties and obligations change in a fundamental way when you decide to become a hermit and live in a single stone cell on a remote Scottish island. On a positive note, you have always enjoyed
fresh air and porridge.

Lucky shirt:
Hair

Lucky look:
Unkempt

L
EO

Mars has moved into your opposite sign which generally means trouble ahead. You will have no trouble standing up for your point of view, but exercise diplomacy, particularly if
there are arguments with your nearest and dearest. This is rather an unpredictable week for you, and it will be best if you can keep your arguments to times when sharp knives, frying pans and
boiling water are not within easy reach.

Lucky position:
Ducking and diving

Lucky suit:
Plate armour

V
IRGO

This week sees you set on a new and interesting course: Footwear Through The Ages at the local college. Uranus promises unexpected developments toward the end of the week,
particularly for anyone already involved in a long-distance relationship with a one-eyed cross-dressing ex-Mafia hit man called Margaret Weaver.

Lucky sauce:
Béarnaise

Lucky Sea:
Sargasso

L
IBRA

There could be new acquaintances, new social opportunities or even a new love in your life by the end of this week. Your ruler Venus is in company with Mercury for a while and
you will delight your friends with your wit, repartee and skill with stop-action animation. An unexpected phone call or letter on Thursday will bring good news about your appointment for prosthetic
eyebrows.

Lucky vitamin:
B-Flat

Lucky game:
Pooh-Sticks

S
CORPIO

On Friday, your ruler Pluto is in opposition to Saturn. Only a day or so later, Jupiter turns retrograde. This can only have one possible outcome. Your usual practice of trying
to get down the stairs before the flush finishes is all very well at home, but at work the stairs are longer and the flush shorter, so sooner or later the monster will catch you.

Lucky trousers:
Purple loon-pants

Lucky headgear:
Turban

S
AGITTARIUS

Many people with Sagittarius strong in their charts feel they are having rather a rough time at present. This is hardly surprising given the presence of Mars and Neptune in the
area of your chart that concerns relationships. The tensions should have eased somewhat by Wednesday when the restraining order comes into force and the 24-hour security guards are in place.

Lucky precaution:
Panic room

Lucky attitude:
Watchful

C
APRICORN

This week could be very exciting and creative, as you lay down some serious foundations. Later in the week, a visit from the local CID is indicated as they are still concerned
about the suspicious disappearance of Amway resellers in your area and want to check whether the concrete has set. Try to remain calm and, if possible, hide the 2,156 bottles of carpet-cleaner.

Lucky soup:
Primordial

Lucky snack:
Cheese on toast

A
QUARIUS

The pace of your life is going to leave the rest of us breathless. Mars has moved into your sign and, although you have the drive and energy you need, you should watch out for
disagreements with the man from number 47 as, unbeknown to you, he has an extensive collection of edged weapons and a mind unhinged from years of working in the local tax office.

Lucky steps:
Rapid

Lucky number:
999

P
ISCES

Mars meets your ruler, Neptune, at the end of this week. You may feel restless and confused. It’s not really the best time to act, so you may want to reconsider your
decision to take on the lead role in the local drama society’s lunchtime production of
Boadicea
at the working men’s club. On Thursday, though your usual meat-pie will be
tasteless and soggy, it is generally not a good idea to rub it into the hair of the person serving you.

Lucky publication:
Home & Garden

Lucky section:
Lost and Found

A
RIES

November could be one of your best months for some time. However, your ruler, Mars, is now in unpredictable Aquarius and is about to conjoin Neptune, so any rash decisions you
make about floor coverings for the bathroom are likely to come back to haunt you later in the month. On Wednesday, someone will push a ginger biscuit through your letterbox bearing the message in
green ink, ‘Do not eat this biscuit as green ink is bad for you’.

Lucky mirror:
Convex

Lucky ride:
Nemesis

T
AURUS

The Full Moon in your sign on Thursday means that you may be cautious and hesitant, but be prepared to think on your feet as on Tuesday lunchtime, while you are out with a
client, thieves break into your office and steal all of the chairs. On Friday, you suffer a mild concussion as you are struck a glancing blow with a frozen chicken in the British Library reading
room.

Lucky agenda:
Secret

Lucky moth:
Hawk

G
EMINI

There are likely to be some major changes in your life during November. They could come as a surprise right at the beginning of the month, as you discover a secret passage from
your conservatory to the top floor of the Borough Council Highways Department. On Thursday, you would do well to avoid anyone with one leg and a Welsh accent.

Lucky paint:
Magnolia

Lucky vegetable:
Cauliflower

C
ANCER

Many Cancerians are feeling very tense right now. You may be among the many who will find the Full Moon on Thursday particularly trying. However, the end of the week brings the
light-relief you so badly need as it is Halloween and you can look forward to the little faces of the ‘trick or treaters’ on the doorstep lighting up when you hand out your wasabi
profiteroles and toffee-onions.

Lucky ticket:
Cheap day return

Lucky disguise:
Hank Marvin

L
EO

This will be far from a quiet week. Mars has moved into your opposite sign, and right from the beginning there could be arguments and conflicts around you, some of which could
become rather heated. Admittedly it was cheap, but you may live to regret your choice of a budget wine-tasting tour of Kabul.

Lucky precaution:
Kevlar vest

Lucky trousers:
Brown corduroy

V
IRGO

If Virgo is rising in your chart, the emphasis will be on practical matters. Your methodical approach and steady hand will see you reach the quarterfinals of the World
Pro-Celebrity Jenga championship. However, Pluto goes trine by the last day of the tournament and you develop a nervous twitch, a heavy head cold and a racking cough.

Lucky decongestant:
Sudafed

Lucky sleeve:
Left

L
IBRA

You may fare well this week, even if there are some changes in store for you by the weekend. You will have a heated disagreement with a shop assistant on Wednesday. A
misunderstanding about the possible use of bag-charms when asking about changing-room facilities may lead to an unseemly scuffle with the security staff. As Mercury will be in the ascendant by
then, no charges will be pressed.

Lucky plug:
13amp

Lucky fuse:
Short

S
CORPIO

The week may open with some kind of domestic conflict and you will find it useful to be prepared for the possibility. Keep your head down, chin tucked well into your chest, and
lead with your weaker hand. You have always been susceptible to a left-feint and right-cross combination, so keep focused on your footwork and circle to the right where possible.

Lucky round:
Three

Lucky trunks:
Stars and Stripes

S
AGITTARIUS

This could be an odd sort of week. On the one hand, old issues from the past may surface, not to haunt you but to give you a chance to put things right, or maybe just to learn
from past mistakes, such as the incident in the cinema when you were trying out your new clip-on trousers. But the less said about that, the better.

Lucky movement:
Jewelled

Lucky hand:
Second

C
APRICORN

There could be distinctly difficult times in the financial markets. Capricorn people may be harder hit than most but, being forewarned as you are, you are able to turn a very
nice profit on a pair of 17th century jewelled duck-mounts that you have had put by for some years. On Thursday, a trine Venus indicates buttered crumpets for elevenses.

Lucky look:
Retro

Lucky taste:
Salty

A
QUARIUS

On Thursday, you may find yourself looking after friends in trouble or at least in need of sympathy. Next weekend may bring some extraordinary changes to the structure of your
life when you and your current partner are accidentally elected ‘Carnival King & Queen’ of Stepney. As neither of you have been to Stepney, quite how this happened will remain a
mystery.

Lucky walk:
Lambeth

Lucky lunch:
Jellied eels

P
ISCES

Talk things over with a trusted friend, or just ride the wave of uncertainty for a few days. Communications may be an issue this week. On Wednesday, while mowing the lawn, you
will receive an unexpected visit from the rather attractive lady at number 14 wanting to ‘try something out’. Your enthusiastic agreement wanes a little when you find out that what she
is keen to try is a can of Mace.

Lucky top-dressing:
Shredded bark

Lucky hoe:
Dutch

A
RIES

Normally the most decisive of people, you will be plagued by bouts of uncertainty about your actions on Monday, when you complain loudly about the pensioners clogging up the
queue at the supermarket at lunchtime. On the way home, you will be accosted by a rowdy group of elderly men and women, dressed in ‘colours’ (grey and beige) who are in the process of
draping carpet-slippers joined with a length of string over the overhead telephone wires.

Lucky precaution:
Bulletproof string vest

Lucky publication:
The People’s Friend

T
AURUS

Tuesday’s New Moon in your opposite sign means that this would be a good day to seek advice on an important matter relating to zebra finches. Some of the minor details
may seem unimportant when you first look at them, but pay close attention as Mars goes direct on Wednesday and anything which may counteract the effect of the lizards can only be beneficial.

Lucky insect:
Hover-fly