It’s
the truth. I really am flattered that she chose to ask me over any of her
friends. She has so many of them that would jump at the chance to be Maid of
honour. They’re all so glamorous like Rachel, I think that’s why it never even
entered my head that she’d pick me over them.
“Thank
you, thank you, thank you!” She squeals, pulling me in for another hug. “This
makes everything perfect. Now you can come with me tomorrow when I go wedding
dress shopping! We can make a day of it and get some lunch afterwards.” Her
happiness is contagious and I find myself giving her my first genuine smile of
the entire night.
“That
sounds great. Count me in.” I assure her, shyly tucking a stray strand of my
hair back behind my ear.
I
can feel Zack’s steady gaze on me the whole time and it’s making me slightly
uncomfortable. I feel like he can see right through my orchestrated charade,
it’s as though he knows it’s all an act and can see right through my pretence.
It’s unnerving and I don’t quite know how to deal with it. It makes me feel naked,
it’s like someone can truly see me for the first time in my entire life. He
hasn’t said a single word since to either of us since Rachel introduced us and
his silence is a little disconcerting. I have no idea what he’s thinking, all I
can sense is his eyes on me, watching my every move.
“Fantastic!”
Rachel playfully claps her hands before she glances over my shoulder. “Mum
wants a word with me, she’s beckoning me over.” Rachel leans into Zack and he’s
forced to drag his eyes away from me to look at her. “Will you be ok if I leave
you alone for five minutes?” She asks, stroking her manicured nails down his
chest.
“I’ll
be fine. I’m sure Sam won’t mind keeping me company?” His eyes look beyond
Rachel’s, landing on my own once more.
I
shift from one foot to the other, those extraordinary eyes of his fill me with
the most exquisite, indescribable warmth I’ve ever experienced. He makes my
whole body tingle and it feels like I’m on fire. My face is hot and my palms
are sweaty, what on earth is happening to me?
“Sure.
I don’t mind.” I say quietly, averting my gaze to the floor.
“Great,
I’ll be back in a second.”
As
soon as Rachel leaves, an awkward silence follows. My mind goes blank and I
can’t think of a single thing to say to him, choosing to focus on my empty
glass instead.
“It
really is nice to meet you, Samantha. You have no idea how happy you’ve made
Rachel by agreeing to be her Maid of honour.” Zack smiles at me, closing the
distance between us as he takes my empty glass from me, placing it on the table
behind him.
“There’s
no need to thank me. It’s so kind of her to even ask, I’m sure she’s going to
get a hard time from mum because of it and I don’t envy her that.” I sneak a
peek at my mum and sister, worrying about the consequences Rachel’s decision
will bring for her.
“Why
would your mum give her a hard time? I can’t think of anyone better than her
own sister to be her Maid of honour.”
Zack
leans against the wall I’m standing next to, crossing one ankle over the other.
He looks so confident and at ease with himself, I’m instantly envious of him and
his ability to look unfazed when I’m a tumultuous wreck.
“Let’s
just say I’m not her favourite person and… Rachel is.” I murmur softly.
If
mum had it her way I probably wouldn’t even get an invite to my own sister’s
wedding.
“But…
you’re her daughter.” Zack states incredulously.
“Try
telling her that.” I reply humourlessly.
There’s
another prolonged silence between us and I’m just about to make my excuses to
use the bathroom when Zack interrupts me.
“Would
you like to step outside for a minute? It’s a little warm in here and I could
do with some fresh air before we sit down to eat.” He locks those phenomenal
brown eyes of his on me, clearly hoping I’ll take him up on his offer.
“Rachel
will be back in a second, I’m sure she’ll go with you.”
“But
I’m asking you.” His voice is low and deep, it makes my body tremble and my
heart rate increase.
“Sure.”
I shrug casually, leading the way through the throngs of people in the lounge
to get to the back of the house.
Mum’s
place is really huge, it’s a large, detached house in the middle of the suburbs
and she even has a small balcony which overlooks the gardens at the rear end of
the property. I decide to lead Zack there so he can get some fresh air and I can
take in the magnificent view. We’re intercepted several times by my annoying
relatives on our way out. They all want to make small talk or become acquainted
with Zack and I expect him to stop and greet them every single time. However,
he surprises me when he politely declines every single one of their attempts to
try and engage him in conversation. He ushers me forward, placing his hand on
my lower back to guide me. I quickly move to the side, choosing to ignore the
scorching heat left over from his touch.
He
closes the sliding door as soon as we step out onto the balcony, dragging his
fingers through his short hair and exhaling loudly.
“Thank
God for that. Some peace and quiet at last.” He chuckles, smiling over at me
with those eyes that sparkle. There’s so much joy in them, I can’t help
reciprocating his enthusiasm to be free of the claustrophobic atmosphere
inside.
“They
can be a bit much sometimes.” I say wearily, turning my back on him so I can
look out at the spectacular view.
I
hate everything about this house except for this. The scenic, picturesque
beauty right in front of me has always been able to capture my attention and I
used to sneak out here when I was little so I could be alone and read one of my
books whilst the sun would set.
“So
how long have you and Rachel been together?” I already know the answer but I
don’t know what else to say and I’m still reluctant to turn around and face
him. He’s standing right beside me but I just can’t do it. My feelings for him
are too powerful and terrifying, it’s easier if I look straight ahead and
ignore them.
Zack
leans forward, resting his elbows against the wooden railing in front of us.
“About
a year or so.”
“Wow,
that’s a long time.”
“Yeah.”
He whispers, revealing nothing.
“Well,
you make a wonderful couple. You look perfect together.” I say brightly,
chancing a look at him for the first time since we came outside.
“No
one’s perfect.” He exhales quietly, gazing up at the moonlit sky. “Not Rachel
and certainly not me.” He says solemnly.
“I’m
sure my mum loves you already.” I say encouragingly.
“I
have no idea. I really don’t care what she thinks of me to be honest.”
His
reply takes me by surprise and I finally give in to temptation and allow myself
to turn around to face him.
“You
don’t want to impress your future mother-in-law?” I challenge him, arching my
eyebrow in question.
“I’d
rather know what my future sister-in-law thinks of me.” He smirks at me,
folding his arms as though he can’t wait to hear my opinion of him.
I
gape at him, bewildered and surprised. He raises his eyebrows at me and I can
feel the corners of my mouth start to twitch as I try to supress the urge I
have to smile. I decide to tease him a little instead, wanting to see if he’s
so confident and self-assured after I make fun of him.
“Hmm…
I’m not too sure what I think of you. You’re ok, I suppose. Rachel could have
done worse.” I reply indifferently.
“What?!”
He feigns outrage, placing his hand over his chest as though my comment has staggered
him. He stands back so I can take a good look at him, holding his hands out so
he can draw attention to his incredible physique. “Better than this?
Impossible.” He shakes his head in mock disbelief, struggling to conceal the
light-hearted grin on his face.
I
peruse his body from top to bottom, pretending to scrutinise his appearance.
“Like
I said, I’ve seen worse.” I lie, knowing for a fact that I will never see a man
as beautiful as him in my entire lifetime.
“Gee,
thanks.” He mumbles quietly, a slightly hurt expression on his face.
“Aw,
come on. I’m joking.” I laugh, playfully slapping him on the arm.
“And
I finally got a smile from you.” He winks at me, flashing me one of his own
million smiles.
I
can feel my cheeks turning crimson and bite down on my lower lip, trying to
ignore the butterflies in my stomach and the pounding inside my chest. I can’t
allow myself to feel this way about him. He’s going to be my brother-in-law,
he’s marrying my sister and he’s completely forbidden.
“Rachel
told me in one of her emails that you’re an architect?” I enquire politely,
quickly trying to divert the conversation away from myself.
“That’s
right. It’s all I ever wanted to be and I got my first job a few months after I
graduated Uni. My work has been really supportive about our move up here, my
boss granted me two months off so I can focus on the move and getting us
settled.”
“That
was nice of him.”
“Yeah
it was. He’s an old friend of the family so he helped me find a new position up
here, it’s still going to be with the same company so I don’t have to feel
guilty about deserting them after all these years.”
“So
you and Rachel are staying up here indefinitely?”
I
never even considered the possibility that they might move back here. I just
presumed they would get married here and then go straight back to London.
“Yeah,
at least for the next twelve months or so. We knew we wanted to have the
wedding in our hometown and figured we’d stay here a bit longer until we figure
out what’s next.”
“That’s
great.” I respond half-heartedly, wondering how the hell I’m going to cope with
him living so close by.
Being
in such close proximity to him is really going to mess with my head, I’ve only
known him half an hour and my emotions are already in turmoil. I’m torn between
what I know is right and my intense attraction towards him. Not that I’ll ever
act upon my feelings, he’s with the most beautiful woman in the world and he
would never look twice at me. Besides, I could never do that to my sister.
I
gaze off into the distance, watching the sparkling water in the fountain gleam
in the distant moonlight. The floodlights outside light everything up, bringing
an ethereal glow to the gardens below us.
“You
sound disappointed that we’re moving up here.” He laughs lightly, nudging me
with his elbow.
“No,
of course not. It’s great you guys are moving back home. It means I’ll get to
see a lot more of Rachel and that’s what’s important.”
He’s
about to say something else to me when the sliding door opens.
“There
you are! I’ve been looking for you two everywhere. The food is finally ready so
we best go through and take our seats.” Rachel takes hold of Zack’s hand,
trying to pull him out the door. “You coming, Sam?” She looks back over her
shoulder, preoccupied with the thought of her impending meal.
“I’ll
be through in a minute.”
I
encourage them to go on ahead, needing a few moments by myself to collect my
thoughts.
“We
can wait for you if you if you’d like?” Zack offers, lingering behind and ignoring
Rachel’s protests for him to hurry up.
“Thanks
but I’ll be ok. See you in a minute.”
“Ok…
thanks for keeping me company.” He lingers by the doorway for a moment longer
and I can see how reluctant he is to leave me alone outside.
I
breathe a sigh of relief as soon as I’m alone, knowing that I really need to
sort my head out before I go inside. The roof of my mouth is dry, my whole body
is trembling and my stomach is churning with anticipation. I feel really,
really nervous but I haven’t the faintest idea why. Sure, these family meals
are really tedious and uncomfortable but I can normally find my own way through
it and deal with everything my contemptible mother throws at me. Maybe it’s
because I’ve just found out Rachel’s moving back home. Don’t get me wrong, I
love my sister but I know how hard it will make things for me to have her close
by. Mum will constantly be comparing me to her, she’ll belittle and insult me
at every opportunity and I know how much she loves to make me feel inferior.
Ugh,
what am I doing out here? I should have gone inside with Zack and Rachel when I
had the chance. I smooth down my skirt and tuck in my black ruffled blouse,
preparing myself for another hour of discomfort. I plan on leaving as soon as
this meals over, I’ll make up some excuse to Rachel and quietly sneak out when
no one’s looking. I don’t mind meeting up with her tomorrow, I don’t even mind
going shopping with her but I do mind sitting around a table with a bunch of
people I despise and barely know. They’re my relatives but we haven’t got a
thing in common, they’re either rude to me or ignore me altogether and I have
to admit, I prefer it when they do the latter.