Wished Away: A Broken Fairy Tale (16 page)

When I got back downstairs Kat and Jess were sitting at the bar in the corner of the living room having a glass of wine and talking with each other. Jess had on a strapless black dress that fit her perfectly. Her bright green shoes were like the bright splash of color that she always brings with her personality. Tonight we’re going to a Save the Shore Charity event thrown by Joey’s parents at their newly remodeled beach house and there was sure to be everyone there from our loyal friends to Hollywood’s biggest and brightest. By now, we’re all used to these types of parties and have no trouble mingling in with the crowd, but always somehow find ourselves gathered together in some private spot on the beach, just the close group of us with the occasional Joey hook up, recapping the drama and pomp of the night. Tonight at least I could be sure Joey wouldn’t have some random crashing our late night rendezvous since Kat was with us. I think he’s always hoping for Kat to finally break down and let him finally have her, although he’d never admit it. Man if those two ever did hook up, I have no doubt he’d be as done as Holden and me.

Jess and I spent the night mingling with the guests, all sharing ideas on what can be done to help speed up the rebuilding efforts along the shore. Jess’s sarcastic and witty humor won over every person we came in contact with and I couldn’t help but feel a little jealous watching so many of the men’s heads turn when she walked by. I swear, Jess was just as sexy now as she was wearing sweats and her hair in a disheveled ponytail, because it’s not only her outward beauty that was alluring, there’s just something about her that attracts everyone to her like a moth to light. Her positivity and easy going nature along with her welcoming demeanor makes her absolutely irresistible.

Holden walked over to us with Cam each holding a bottle of wine and giant smiles. Holden leaned into me. “Each of you grab a bottle and meet us at Tower 12 in fifteen for a team meeting.” Cam giggled and they both walked off arm in arm. Since getting engaged, I’ve never seen either of them happier. I couldn’t help but be excited about the happiness their relationship has also brought to our lives. Seeing our best friends find the kind of unwavering love Jess and I’ve found, is a special thing.

We snuck back into the kitchen to find good ole’ Helen standing there with a basket filled with three bottles of wine, wine glasses, and all kinds of snacks. It sure did pay to be as stinking rich as Joey is at times like these. When we got to the sand, Jess kicked off her green heels and tossed them onto the deck and turned to me with her wavy blonde hair flying slightly in her flushed face, looking so damn sexy that I wanted to throw the basket away and take her right there.

“Ah, ah, ah,” she said shaking her finger at me and she strutted over to my side. “I know that look, and you’re just going to have to wait.” When she came to my side, she leaned up on her toes and whispered in my ear, “We have people waiting for us, and I never like to disappoint.” I didn’t miss the meaning behind her words, and was validated when she nipped at my ear as she wrapped her fingers along my package making me let out a groan.

“Then you better stop that this moment, Jess Bosi,” I said regretfully before bringing her lips to mine and getting some relief from the burning need inside me. Her tongue dancing with mine made me know she wanted me as bad as I did her.

We made our way down to the beach and saw our friends gathered around a fire in the distance. It was a sight to see everyone dressed in formal attire lounging carelessly in the sand, laughing and drinking together. I was surprised when I saw some new faces in the circle. Well, not entirely new, but faces I hadn’t seen in years. Gage Scott and his wife Cassie went to Yale with Holden, Joey, and me. Gage was on our flag football team and had become a good friend of ours. Cassie and I both majored in criminology, and had spent a lot of time together studying for our courses and working on projects together and had formed a close relationship. When Cassie and I realized that our friendship started to feel like we were being unfaithful to Jess and Gage, we decided to try and keep our space. With that decision, it also meant I had to put space between my friendship with Gage. I’ve always thought he suspected Cassie and I had feelings for each other after that one night right before graduation. The truth was, Cassie was someone I cared about, but no one would have ever made me stray from Jess. No one. She was someone I had a lot of common with, she and I are both laid back, but focused at the same time. She was the perfect study partner, and someone I hadn’t realized I’ve missed until I saw her sitting snuggled between Gage’s legs by the fire, wearing a deep blue dress that brought out her bright blue eyes. Jess and Cassie had met before and I was glad when she reacted sweetly when she noticed them at the fire. She never knew of my separate friendship with

Cassie and I wanted to leave it that way. I watched as Jess talked spiritedly with our friends, emptying out the goodies Helen packed for us when Cassie came to my side.

“Hope you don’t mind us crashing your party.” Her giant smile made me feel at ease.

“Of course not, as you can see, Jess has plenty for everyone.” I watched my beautiful wife welcome Gage politely and then move over and plop down on Joey’s lap with a bottle of wine.

“She really is amazing, Dave. A firecracker, but amazing.” Cassie laughed when Jess hopped up off Joey and headed over to us handing Cassie a cup of wine.

“Hi again. Glad you guys came out tonight, it’s always the best part of Joey’s parties.” Jess tapped her glass up against Cassie’s as welcoming as ever. I wrapped my arm around Jess and kissed the top of her head and took in the sweet vanilla scent that she always wore and got lost in the comfort of it.

I’m brought back to reality when I hear the faint whimper of Charlotte crying. Jess has her held close and is rocking her back and forth on the couch of our house. I notice instantly that it’s no longer winter when I see their sun kissed skin displayed in sundresses. The memory I was in is still calling me back, and as much as I want to get lost in the end of that night, making love with my wife, I can’t when I see my daughter hurting. When she lifts her face from Jess’s chest, I’m struck by how much older she looks. In so many of my memories Charlotte is so little, but she must be eleven or twelve years old by now. God, it’s frustrating that I’m not even sure how old my daughter is anymore. I want so badly to be able to know they’re okay, but I know this isn’t where I belong and watching them this way, not being able to control anything that happens, is torture.

“I miss him so much, Mommy.” Charlotte’s voice is so innocent and broken, it tears me apart to hear the pain my death is causing her.

“Me too, but he wouldn’t want you to be sad like this. He only ever wanted you to be happy. We both want you to be happy. It’s ok to miss him baby, but let’s think of the happy times and try and be happy we had him.”

Charlotte wipes her eyes and looks up her mom. “That’s not what you do mom. I hear you crying all the time. You aren’t ever happy anymore.”

Jess reacts as if she’s been slapped and I can feel the hurt those words cause in Jess’s heart. She holds Charlotte’s face in her hands and kisses her forehead. “You’re right. But I’m trying, and I’m going to even try harder, alright. I promise.”

My heart is breaking watching this, but filling with hope at the same time.

Jess pulls out something and holds it up to Charlotte, but I can’t make out what it is. She tilts our daughters face so that she’s looking at the object. “This was your Dad’s, and your grandpop’s before that. It was very special to him and I know he’d want you to have it. It’s a St. Michael pendant, the patron saint of ultimate protection. When you wear this, I want you to know your Daddy is always with you, watching over you and keeping you safe.”

Charlotte smiles through her tears. “I’ll never take it off. Never.”

With that, I let my thoughts drift back to my memories of Jess and Charlotte when we were together, when we were a family.

Jess

I
can’t believe I’m actually looking out the window as Gage drives away. What am I, fifteen? Spending the day with him was such an unexpected pleasure, that I was sad when it was time for him to go over to Joey’s and for me to get Charlotte from school. One thing I learned about Gage today is that he truly is a walking contradiction. I mean one minute he is dominant, playful, and sexy, then the next he is companionate, empathetic and sensitive, and it makes him that much more attractive to me.

Once we got down to the beach, Gage came up with the idea of playing Twenty Questions as a fun way to get to know each other. Only twenty questions turned into more like one hundred questions, letting me know more than I probably needed to about him. His favorite color is green, his favorite movie is Last of the Mohicans, he hates black olives, and he’s addicted to chocolate peanut butter ice cream from Carvel, to name a few. When he caught me staring at his tattoo that I’ve been wanting to get a closer look at since Saturday night, he didn’t wait for my question.

“It’s big, I know.” He smiled sadly. “After Cass died, I felt nothing for so long. It was a way to feel again I guess. I’ve got a few other tats.” He rolled over to show me the word
Faith
written in script on the back of his neck, and the word
Live
engraved on his opposite forearm. I instinctively ran my fingers over the tattoo I had that matched Dave’s deciding to share my story later, this was his to tell. “It’s a prayer for strength,” he said pointing to the cursive that’s laced through the intricate design.

“I love it,” I said and sat up reaching for the cooler, hoping to change the topic remembering I wanted to keep things light today.

Around question sixty nine is when Gage decided to take the questions into a different direction and made things much more personal. When he rolled to his side, resting his head on his hand, I could feel his breath on my wrist and it made me blush. I hate how he made me turn all girly and mushy, when I’m not usually that type of girl. I’m the kind of girl who tells it how it is, and don’t let men intimidate me. But I’ll be damned, here I am, lying here next to Gage, with his perfectly sculpted muscles glistening with sweat and smelling of sunscreen inches away, feeling like a ball of tightly wound excitement and nerves. I. Am. Going. To. Explode.

“Where is your favorite place to be kissed?” He was looking right at me, surely gaging my reaction to his turn of questioning.

I prayed I wasn’t blushing and smirked up at him, trying to act as if I’m not affected by how he looked at me. “In the ocean.” I smiled innocently and took a sip of my water, knowing well, that he meant where
on my body
did I like to be kissed.

He didn’t break his gaze and only lowered his head so that I could clearly see his eyes above his sunglasses. That did it; I had officially turned into mush. “Noted. But let me try this again, where’s your favorite place on your
body
to be kissed?” His voice took a deeper tone that made my core clench with pleasure.

I swallowed hard trying to gain my composure and remembered I’m usually the one who starts these types of conversations. I couldn’t let him get the best of me. “Sweetheart, you couldn’t handle my real answer, so I’ll just say my lips.” I turned to my side, mimicking his position, showing him that he couldn’t fluster me, and I could see in his eyes that he liked the challenge I was providing.