Wished Away: A Broken Fairy Tale

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E.M. Tippetts Book Designs

Other Books by S.P. Cervantes

Broken Fairy Tale Series

Dust to Dust

Secrets of Shadow Hill Series

Always and Forever

The Prophecy

War of Wizards

To Mim and Gerry

My first example of true love

I’
m standing on the other side of the wall and can hear my aunt and uncle whispering about what to do with me now that my parents are dead. It still doesn't seem real. I’m only seventeen years old and don't have any parents left to take care of me. Everything in my life has always been so secure---so safe, and now all that security is gone, leaving me feeling numb. My parents always gave me the best of everything and treated me like a gift from heaven to them, and now they’re gone, and I’m alone. Camryn’s parents said that I could go live with them, but how am I going to do that? My Aunt Kim and Uncle Gerry are adamant that I move back to Cherry Hill with them and my cousin Kat. But that's not what I want. I need to be with my friends, they’re the one constant in my life now, and I don’t want the comfort their friendships give me to be taken away now too. I hope that Mr. Dade is able to convince my aunt and uncle to at least move down to my parent’s house until I turn eighteen, and inherit the deed to my house. Leaving Mantoloking and my friends is about the worst thing I can imagine right now after losing my parents. Camryn, Holden, Dave, Joey...it’s been the five of us running the quiet streets of Mantoloking since I can remember, and I don’t want to have to make any more memories without them there with me.

I decide to escape the conversations others are having about my fate, and start to head over to the beach across the highway to be alone.

The thought of letting the cadenced sounds of the waves crashing on the beach wash away my fears, fills me with momentary calm. When I sit down in the cool, soft sand, I let myself fall back and stare up at the thousands of stars above, wondering if my parents are watching over me somewhere up there. I look carefully at the patterns the stars make above, choosing judiciously which one to make a wish upon, as if my impossible wish could come true.

Since their death, I’ve tried not to think about my parents, because the memory of their faces is too painful. A part of me still thinks maybe this is all a horrible nightmare, and they’ll come running down the beach, telling me this was all a big prank, and throw me into the waves. My dad was always a fun loving, happy go lucky guy, playing with me every chance he had, acting as the life of the party with Mr. Dade. My mom was the enforcer, but she was so filled with love and compassion, that I never worried when I was in trouble with her. She would rather talk things out with me and figure out a way to make sure I didn't make the mistake again, rather than scream and yell, and trust me…I have done plenty to make her scream and yell. There was always a punishment ready for me when I messed up, but my mom never made it feel that way.

I know they wouldn’t want me shutting down the way I have been these past few days. They always encouraged my lively personality rather than try and snuff it out, and I wasn’t one to hold things in this way, letting my emotions build up inside me like a time bomb counting slowly down before exploding.

My memories flash to the three of us sitting here on the beach, snuggled together watching a meteor shower only last summer. I remember my dad taking my mom close in his arms, kissing her head and cheek sweetly as the bright stars raced across the sky above us. I remember sitting with them hoping that I would one day find a love like theirs. One so true, and full of affection and caring that no one ever questioned their devotion to each other. Their relationship was one that other’s envied, even me.

All of the sudden the tears that I’ve been trying so hard to keep away erupt from me in blustering sobs, and it’s all I can do to catch my breath. The realization that I’ll never feel their arms around me again, I’ll never see them together that way again, hits me like a freight train buffeting against me with crippling force. Their faces, the memories of the three of us together that I’ve tried not to think about these past few days, are rushing to the surface threating to suffocate me with grief.

I shudder when an arm comes around my shoulders, but don't need to look up at who it is. It’s the same person who is always at my side at exactly the right moment. I turn my head into Dave’s chest and let my sadness teem over him. Dave has always been the caretaker of our group, even at our age he’s continuously trying to keep me and Joey out of trouble.

"It's ok Sweet Thing, let it out now. It's ok to cry," he says in a whisper, and I obey.

Dave has always been a part of my life. He’s someone I’ve always counted on, which is more than I can say for most. Even though I know Joey and Holden will have my back, and love me like a sister, there’s always been something different about my relationship with Dave. Always. Dave’s the only child of a spirited Italian family who lives on the same street as all of us in Mantoloking, and I’ve known him ever since I can remember.
J
unior high was the first time I looked at Dave as something more than a friend, but I’ve never acted on any of my feelings. I remember when I was a freshman and he was a sophomore, Dave told me that he cared more for me than any other girl he’s ever known, but then a week later began dating Janet from our Algebra class. I’m too proud, some might even say stubborn, to admit that I wanted him to pick me. So I’ve watched as he’s dated other girls, letting the jealousy burn secretly inside me.

I don't know how long I sit there in Dave's arms before I finally lift my head and look into his compassionate brown eyes. "I don't know how I can go on without them. I'm afraid I'll forget them, forget what they'd look like, what they smell like, what their hugs and kisses feel like. All I've been doing is sitting here wishing that I could’ve done something to keep them from going out to dinner that night. I keep wishing that I’d told them how much I loved them before they left instead of yelling at them for not letting me sleep over at Cam’s. I keep wishing that God didn’t take them, that it was me instead. I wish..."

Dave takes my shaking hand in his, "You can't wish it all away Jess, as much as you want to you can't. If I could wish away your pain I would. I would do anything not to see you this way. Your parents wouldn't want you beating yourself up this way. They loved you more than anything in this world and they knew how much you loved them, even when you were a brat.” He taps his finger on the tip of my nose and wipes the tears away with a swipe of his thumb across my cheek and continues, “As time passes, you may forget their smell or their touch but they’ll always know you love them, even when you move on with your life and have your own family."

He reaches into his pocket and takes out a smooth heart shaped rock and hands it to me, "Anytime they seem too far away, take this rock and remember us on this beach. Remember me telling you that it's ok to move on with your life, to love, to grow, to miss. Let it remind you that it's the darkness that leads you to the light, and you deserve the light."

I take the silky stone in my hand and look up him grateful that he’s here with me now. Every time I’m with him, there is no place I’d rather be. He’s always made me feel safe and loved, and for the first time I’m ready to admit he is no longer Dave my best friend, and I know he feels the same when he laces his fingers through mine. "How about we head back to the house now, I’m sure everyone’s looking for you."

He helps me to my feet and my body presses up against his, causing him to draw in a deep breath and close his eyes. He gently brushes my unruly blond hair from my face and holds his warm hand on my cheek. I don't know what to say or do, my heart is racing but filling with guilt that all I can do right now is wish he'd kiss me and take the misery I’m feeling away. As if he’s reading my thoughts, he places his other hand on my face and smiles a sad smile, leans down and places a soft, innocent kiss on my lips. My knees go weak as shocks of pleasure flood through me, wanting so much more than I know he’s going to give me. He pulls back far too soon and looks back down at me, pressing his head against mine, "Bad timing I know, but I've wanted to do that since we were six."