Waiting for Perfect (9 page)

NICK

For the last week, all
I wanted was to see her, to talk to her to make sure she was okay.
 
Now that she’s sitting less than twenty
feet away from me, I can barely look at her.
 
She looks different.
 
There are dark circles under her eyes.
 
She is slouching in her chair and staring at her desk.
 
I haven’t heard her say one word, even
with Lexi trying to talk to her.

The whole school
seems to be talking about her, and it’s driving me crazy.
 
It takes every ounce of my self-restraint
to remain in my seat quietly instead of screaming for them to shut the hell
up.
 
They don’t have a clue what
she’s been through.
 
I know I
messed up in the parking lot yesterday.
 
As I was busy shoving my Converse into Ryan’s gut and yelling at him for
what he did to Kendra, there was a significant mob hovering around us that I
was completely unaware of.
 
Of
course, they heard everything.
 
And
of course, they grew it into an outright lie before disseminating it to the
rest of the school.
 
I shouldn’t
have opened my mouth at all.

They’re talking
about me too.
 
They say I’m a
sociopath because I beat Ryan’s ass.
 
Twice.
 
I don’t give a shit
what they say about me.
 
It’s
Kendra I’m worried about.

When the bell rings,
Kendra is the first out the door.
 
Lexi
is right on her tail, pleading with her.
 
I know why Kendra is mad.
 
Lexi
didn’t tell her.
 
That night in
Jeff’s driveway, Sebastian told Lexi she had to tell Kendra what happened, but Lexi
didn’t.
 
I would be mad too.
 
I
am
mad.
 
Just watching her run after
Kendra like a lost puppy dog is making me even madder.

Until I realize
that I’m running after her too.

I begin to slow down.
 
I don’t want to draw any more attention
to her, so I let her go.
 
Kids are
watching me with hateful eyes.
 
Ryan is popular and everybody’s friend.
 
I was never friends with any of these people.
 
Hell, they didn’t even know who I was
before this.
 
Now I am the psycho
that landed their friend in the hospital.
 
I walk to my next class wondering which is better – being
invisible or being hated.

At lunchtime, Raj
texts me to meet him in the music room, but I decline.
 
I need to go to the lunch tables to check
on Kendra.
 
I won’t talk to
her.
 
I just want to watch her to
see if she is okay.
 

When I get to the quad,
Sebastian meets me.
 
He’s grinning
from ear to ear.
 
“Hey cousin,” he
says.

I frown.
 
“What are you so damn happy about?” I
mutter.

The quad is complete
chaos, and I’m reminded of why I don’t often eat lunch here.
 
“Well?” I ask.

“Well,” he
starts.
 
“Kendra is back at school
today.”
 
That happy smile on his
face when he says her name bothers me.

“I know.
 
And?”
 

He runs his hand
through his hair, messing up his usually perfect style.
 
“I’m just really relieved to see her,
aren’t you?
 
She looks okay, don’t
you think?”

Is he serious?
 
Are we even talking about the same
girl?

“No,” I answer.
 
“She looks like hell.
 
She has dark circles under her eyes.
 
She won’t even talk to Lexi.
 
She looks… sad.”

“Well, damn,
Nick.
 
How do you really feel?
 
I’m trying to be a little optimistic
here.
 
Have you talked to her?”

“No.”
 
I narrow my eyes at him.
 
“Have
you
?”

We quiet down as we
approach the cashier to buy lunch.
 
The older woman looks Sebastian up and down like he’s a piece of
meat.
 
Sebastian doesn’t even
notice.
 
Once we’re out of line,
food in hand, Sebastian starts back up.
 
“No.
 
Not yet.
 
I will though.
 
I want to make sure she’s alright.”

Why is he acting
like a protective friend to her all the sudden?
 
Sure, I get we all went through this thing together, but
still.
 
I’m
the one who saved her from Ryan.
 
Me
.
 
Why does he think he needs to talk to
Kendra?
 
I know how he gets with
girls, and I don’t want him anywhere near her.
 
She’s already been hurt.

As I try not to
blow my lid at my asshole cousin, I spot Kendra sitting with Candace across the
quad.
 
Her head is down, and her
brown-sugar hair is hanging in her face.
 
She looks like how I feel most of the time, like she wants to disappear.

I hear Sebastian
talking again, but I can’t seem to focus on anything but Kendra.
 
I am full-blown staring at her, I
realize, but I can’t help it.
 
She
runs a hand through her hair, but it just falls back into her face again.
 
She doesn’t have any food in front of
her, just a bottle of apple juice.
 
Candace waves her hands around as she speaks, but Kendra barely
responds, only nodding once in a while.

I feel a slap on
the back of my head.
 
“Dude!
 
Snap out of it!”

I cut a hard look
at Sebastian.
 
“What’s your
problem?” I say coldly.

“What’s my
problem?”
 
He raises an eyebrow at
me.
 
“Haven’t you heard anything I
just said?”

I realize I was so
busy staring at Kendra that I wasn’t even listening to my cousin.
 
“No.
 
Sorry.
 
I’m
still freaked out about this whole thing.”

He leads us to an
empty table.
 
“Yeah, me too.
 
We just have to talk to her to see how
she’s doing.”

Opening my bag of
Doritos, I glance at Kendra and Candace again.
 
Then I look over to where Megan and Lexi are sitting.
 
Lexi looks nervous.
 
Megan is talking and smiling like all
is well in the world.
 
Jeff and
Troy are sitting with the other jocks.
 
Then I notice the rest of the high school population.
 
Most of them are either staring at
Kendra or staring at Sebastian and me.
 
They’re all whispering to each other.

My eyes scan the
entire quad and then land on my cousin.
 
He is clueless.
 

“Sebastian,” I say
quietly.

His eyes leave his
orange and meet mine.

“Have you noticed
everyone staring at us?”

He turns his head
from side to side and returns his gaze to me.
 
“Actually, Nick, I was just noticing the same thing.
 
Looks like we’re celebrities.”
 
A vein in his neck gets thicker –
the one that starts bulging whenever he’s irritated.
 
It’s totally unlike me to say anything in this kind of
situation, but Sebastian on the other hand…

“Hey!” he shouts to
the guys at the table next to us.
 
The volume of his voice cuts through the quad, and the noise level
immediately dies down around us.
 
The three guys at the table are seniors.
 
I think they’re on the swim team.
 
They stare at Sebastian like he’s grown a second dick, but
say nothing.

Sebastian stares
them down.
 
“Well?
 
If you have something to say, then say
it.”
 
When they say nothing, he
stands up and walks over to their table.

“Sebastian, forget
it,” I say, trying to quell the instant tension.

One of the swim
team guys stands up.
 
He’s about
the same height as Sebastian.
 
“What the hell, Veneto?
 
What’s your problem?”

Sebastian grins,
showing off his stupid dimple, making him look more like he wants to be the
guy’s best friend rather than fight him.

Fight him?
 
Damn.
 
Are we really doing that again?

“I don’t have a
problem, Shanahan.
 
I just saw you
staring at my boy, Nick.
 
I wanted
to make sure we were cool.”
 
He
gets right up in the swim guy’s face.

Shanahan doesn’t
back down.
 
He glances in my
direction, and then looks to Kendra.
 
When I follow his gaze to meet her, she’s looking right at me.
 
Her eyebrows are scrunched up.
 
She looks pissed.
 
Or scared.
 
Or both.

“Veneto, don’t you
think it’s about time you stop defending your freak cousin?”
 
He nods in Kendra’s direction.
 
“And the slut?”

Before I know
what’s even happening, I’m standing up and moving toward Shanahan.
 
I hear the kids in the quad start yelling.
 
I think they’re encouraging us to
exchange blows.
 
I’m just about to
deck Shanahan when I feel a firm hand on my chest.

“Nicolás!
 
Enough!”
 

In this moment, I
think it’s the only voice that could stop me.
 

Her hair partially
covers her face.
 
Her eyes are
low.
 
She doesn’t want to be
noticed, but here she is stopping me from making an ass of myself in front of
the whole school – and saving me from getting into some serious trouble.

Shanahan
snorts.
 
“Looks like the slut wears
the pants in this relationship, pussy.”
 
I move in toward him again, but Kendra grabs my hand and pulls hard,
forcing me to go with her.

“Nicolás, cool
it!
 
Let’s go.
 
Now!”
 
She tugs my arm and moves me through the crowd and out of
the quad.
 
I’m breathing hard, and
my pulse is racing.
 
I was ready to
fight that dick right in the middle of the lunch tables, right in front of all
the lunch cashiers and even a few teachers.
 
I’m seriously losing my sanity.

I follow Kendra, as
she guides me to the portable buildings – the quiet, empty portables overlooking
the football field.
 
There is tall
grass and miles of hills surrounding the field.
 
She brought me to the one place on this entire campus where
there is no one to piss me off.

She lets go of my
hand and spins around to face me.
 
I feel like a dumbass, unable to form words.
 
I just stare at her.
 
There are so many things I want to say to her.
 
I want to know if she’s okay.
 
I want to know if she was tested, if she was raped, if she’s
going to press charges, and if she’s ever going to talk to Lexi again.
 
But I just stand there like a dumbass.

Kendra’s eyes meet
mine.
 
She has to tilt her head up
because I pretty much tower over her.
 
She squints her eyes against the sun.

“What are you
doing, Nick?” she asks.
 
She’s not
mad.
 
She sounds tired, defeated.

“Wha- wha- what do
you mean?”
 
Can I sound any more
idiotic?
 
I mentally slam my palm
against my forehead.

She stares at the
grassy football field in the valley.
 
When she looks up at me again, her eyes are moist.
 
I actually wince.
 
I can feel the pain she is feeling.

“No more fighting,
Nick,” she says.
 
“Candace told me
you fought Ryan that night at Jeff’s.
 
She told me what happened yesterday too.
 
You’ve got to stop this.”

“But, Kendra,” I protest.
 
“Didn’t you hear what Shanahan said
about you?
 
I can’t let him get
away with that!
 
None of this was
your fault.
 
We have to set them
straight.
 
All of them.”
 
Doesn’t she understand that?
 
She should agree with me.
 
She should want to fight too.