Waiting for Perfect (29 page)

“How much is he
suing you for, Nick?” I ask.

“It doesn’t matter,
okay?
 
I can handle it.”
 
Nick stands up, and Sebastian walks
around, so they’re standing shoulder to shoulder in front of me.

Looking at the two
of them, I finally see the family resemblance.
 
Sure I’ve seen the dark skin, the dark hair and eyes.
 
But now I see it so clearly.
 
The beauty.

Sebastian is fun
and outgoing.
 
He’s the life of the
party and always makes me smile.
 
He’s model-perfect, a gorgeous specimen of man.
 
He makes me forget everything that
happened with Ryan and has never pressured me to press charges against
him.
 
I’ve needed someone to show
me that I can still have fun and put all this behind me, and that’s just what
Sebastian has done for me.
 
Sebastian wouldn’t care one way or the other if I pressed charges
against Ryan, as long as I remembered to have some fun along the way.

Everything is easy
for him, and I feel like things are easier for me just by being around
him.
 
When he is near, my body
responds to him like I’m a parched traveler in a barren desert, and he is an
endless pool of water.
 
I want him
wrapped around me, his hands touching me everywhere, making me forget, making
me feel joy again.
 
Even with the
shitty events that led to him being in Orange County, he was here for the exact
moment that I needed him.
 
Maybe it
was meant to be.
 
He pretends to be
strong, and I know to survive what he’s been through, he must be.
 
But I also know that underneath his
carefree exterior, he’s broken just like me.

Nick is so entirely
different from his cousin.
 
Nick is
intense.
 
He’s dark and
withdrawn.
 
I can see in his eyes
that he feels every ounce of my pain with me.
 
He has been my protector, my champion.
 
He will not drop this, however.
 
He will always ask me to fight.

I know Nick would
walk right beside me if I decide to press charges.
 
Hell, he’d even carry me if I got too tired and felt like I
couldn’t go on anymore.
 
I trust
Nick with my life.
 
I trust them
both with my life.
 
They are beautiful,
and somehow, by some crazy twist of fate, they’re standing here in front of
me.
 
They’re standing
with
me.
 

I think about my
wish at the Wishing Wall that day I ditched school with Sebastian.
 
I wished for something perfect –
just one thing.
 
Now, I clearly see
I have two perfect things in my life – Sebastian and Nicolás Veneto.
 
And I love them in such completely
different ways.

Sebastian takes my
hand.
 
“Kendra, don’t make a
decision right now.
 
I don’t want
you to feel pressured either way.
 
I
just wanted you to know the situation, so you’re not caught off guard.
 
Like I said, you deserved to know.”

I wipe the tears
from my eyes and stand up, thinking about the decision I have to make.
 
“Thank you, Sebastian.
 
I should know about this.
 
You’re right.
 
It does concern me.”

Nick jumps in.
 
“It does
not
concern you.
 
You
were the victim in all of this, Kendra.
 
Please don’t let this sway you to not press charges, okay.
 
The asswipe needs to go to jail –
and he’d probably go ahead with the lawsuit anyway – so you do what you
need to do.
 
Don’t worry about me.”

I feel my breath
coming quick and shallow, and my pulse is starting to race.
 
I can hear the blood pumping through my
head.
 
This is too much.
 
I need to walk away and think about
what I’m going to do.
 
I can’t have
them both staring at me like this.
 
I don’t want to disappoint either of them.

“I need to go,” I
say, backing away toward the door.
 
Just as my hand is pushing it open, I turn to look at them one more
time.
 
They are both staring back
at me with their dark eyes, waiting for words that I can’t give them.

Beautiful.
 
They are both so beautiful.

NICK

That should have
been me.
 
I wanted to be the one
comforting her.
 
The sight of them
kissing killed me.
 
I nearly
screamed as I watched him lower his hands onto her ass and pull her up onto his
lap.
 
My hands were clenched at my
sides.
 
I thought I was going pass
out.
 
I couldn’t watch it any
longer.
 
I wanted to escape into
the music room before they saw me, but it was too late.
 
I was caught staring at them.
 
I felt like a freaking dumbass.

My mind was a
jumbled mess when I walked into the music room.
 
Raj was playing some depressing song that was wonderful and
exactly what I needed to hear.
 
I
felt like punching a wall.
 
My
cousin had his hands on her.
 
That
should have been me.
 
I want to be
the one comforting her, making her smile, making her forget about the asshole
who violated her a month ago.

Then they walked in
together.
 
I couldn’t even find
peace in my peaceful place.
 
They
were here.
 
Her lips were still
swollen from kissing him.
 
When he
blurted out that Morgan was suing me, I almost decked him.
 
Seriously, what the hell?
 
She doesn’t need more pressure in
making her decision to press charges.
 
Sebastian had believed that once too.

I tried to convince
her to go through with it still, but I don’t know what she’ll do now.
 
She’ll probably be the martyr.
 
She’ll suffer to save me.
 
I know her.
 
I know the kind of person she is.
 
She’s good and sweet and beautiful and the love of my freaking
life.

“You’re such an
asshole!” I yell after she walks out the door.

Sebastian looks
confused, but I know he’s playing stupid.
 
“What the hell, dude?”

“She didn’t need to
know.
 
It would have been better if
she didn’t know.”
 
I go over to my
favorite stool and plop down on it, spinning around mindlessly.

“She deserves to
know everything.
 
What’s your
problem anyway?
 
You’ve been a dick
for the last couple weeks.”

I stop spinning and
stare at him.
 
“Are you serious?”

“Yeah,” he says,
walking over to me.
 
“Yeah, I’m
serious.
 
What’s your problem?”

When he’s close
enough, I stand up.
 
We’re standing
chest to chest.

“You,
Sebastian.
 
You
are my freaking problem!

He pushes me
back.
 
“Get out of my face, Nick,”
he warns.

He’s making me
livid – my perfect cousin with his perfect body, superstar athletic
skills, easy freaking life, and now my girl.
 
Now he’s got my girl too.
 
I want to hit him.
 
He deserves it.
 
But he
doesn’t know how I feel about Kendra.
 
How could he?
 
I’ve never
told him.

I slump my
shoulders, resigned to the fact that I’ll always come in second to
Sebastian.
 
His stance changes
too.
 
He goes from defensive to
relaxed.
 
We used to be close, like
brothers, but now he feels like a stranger – or maybe it’s me who’s the
stranger.

I shake my
head.
 
“You’ve got everything,
man.”

He pulls his brows
in and crosses his arms over his chest.
 
“What are you talking about?”

I sit on my stool,
and he takes a seat on the one next to me.

“Never mind,” I
say.
 
“Forget it.”

He’s silent for a
moment.
 
We’re sitting there on the
stools in the music room, and the bell is going to ring any minute announcing
the end of lunch.
 
I wish I had
never come to school today.

Finally, Sebastian
says, “I know you saw us.
 
Kendra
and me.
 
I know you saw us
earlier.”

Yeah, don’t remind me, asshole.
 

I look over at him,
but don’t say anything.
 

He continues.
 
“I know you like her, Nick.
 
I saw your sketchbook.”

What?

He saw my
sketchbook?
 
The one that is filled
with pictures of Kendra?
 
The one
that if anyone saw it, there would be no doubt in his mind that I like this
girl?
 
He saw it – and he
still went after her.
 
Even though
he knew how I felt about her, he still went after her.

My foot starts
tapping on the ground, and I’m tightening my jaw.
 
How could my cousin betray me like this?
 
He’s family.
 
We should have each other’s backs, not be stealing from each
other.
 
That’s what I feel like
he’s done.
 
He’s stolen Kendra from
me.
 
But did I ever really have
her?
 
Did I ever actually think
she’d have someone like me?

I actually feel
moisture coming to my eyes.
 
I
can’t let Sebastian see me cry.
 
He’d laugh at me.
 
First, he
stole my girl and next he’ll be laughing at me, kicking me while I’m down.

I stand
abruptly.
 
I want to walk out of
here without talking to him, without looking at him.
 
There’s no way in hell he’s going to see my red eyes right
now.

“Nick, wait,”
Sebastian calls.

“Screw you, Sebastian.”
 
I start for the door.

When I feel him
coming up behind me, I turn around and look at him.
 
I know he can see the pain in my eyes.
 
I know I’m about to lose my shit, but I
have to say this to him.
 
He needs
to know.

“I love her.
 
I’ve loved her for a long time.”
 
I wipe my eyes.
 
“She deserves better than you.
 
She deserves someone who will cherish
her – someone who won’t hurt her.
 
Someone like me.”

Sebastian’s face
drops.
 
“I know.”

Excuse me?

I didn’t expect him
to agree with me.
 
He always just
takes what he wants, and this is no different.
 
Why is agreeing with me?

My confusion must
show on my face because he starts explaining.
 
“I care about Kendra.
 
I want to be with her.
 
I
know I haven’t been the best man in the past, but I want to try harder.
 
I want to try for her.
 
She makes me want to be better.
 
I know she deserves the best, and I
want to give that to her.”

My expression
hardens with his words.
 
“What she
deserves is me!
 
I
could make her happy.
 
I
could love her.
 
You’ll use her and
throw her away.
 
You’ll tire of her
and
break her heart.”

“That’s not going
to happen,” he insists.

“That’s exactly
what’s going to happen!
 
That’s
you!
 
That’s the Sebastian Veneto
playbook.
 
But guess what?
 
When you toss her aside, or when she
wakes up to your games, it will be
me
who she’ll come running to.
 
I will
be the one to take care of her.”

The bell rings,
signaling the end of lunch.
 
Sebastian doesn’t say anything to me, but by the look on his face, I
know he’s considering my words.

I turn toward the
door and leave him standing there silent.
 
There are more tears forming in my eyes, and I quickly wipe them away
and head for class.

I feel like I’m in
seventh grade again, tripping onto my face, and watching Kendra laugh at
me.
 
I love her, and she wants
Sebastian.
 
And my asshole cousin
doesn’t know what the hell he wants.
 
He probably wants to screw her and then discard her, like he does with
all his other conquests.

Kendra deserves
every good thing, and my cousin is not that.
 
He’s not good.
 
He’s spoiled and greedy.
 
He’s going to hurt her.
 
I
meant every word I said to him.
 
When he breaks her heart, it will be me who will be picking up the
pieces and putting her back together.
 
It’s just a matter of time.
 
She’ll see that I’m the better choice.
 
I’m the one who will make her feel safe.
 
I am what she needs.

Until then, I’m not
giving up.
 
I love her.
 
I will always love Kendra Voss.