Waiting for Perfect (32 page)

In
eighth grade, Candace was in love with Tyler Westcliff.
 
Tyler was an exchange student from New
Zealand and had the most delicious accent.
 
He and Candace went to the movies one night and ended up
running into Megan at the theater.
 
When Tyler went to the bathroom and was gone for over twenty minutes,
Candace went to look for him.
 
She
walked into the theater lobby and saw Tyler and Megan making out by the restroom
doors.
 
She left without looking
back.
 
Candace and Megan didn’t
talk again until late freshman year.

Last
year, Megan dated Troy for six months.
 
Since I was the only one that knew Lexi was obsessed with Troy McCall, I
was the only one that knew how much it killed her every time she had to see him
with Megan.
 
Megan didn’t
technically steal Lexi’s boyfriend, but to Lexi, it had sure felt like it.
 
I guess Lexi had put it all in the past
now because she was the one on Troy’s arm, and here she was defending Megan to
him.

Troy
and Lexi say goodbye to me and walk down the hall.
 
Just as I’m making my way to Physics – and preparing
to see Nick after finding out he might have feelings for me – I halt.
 
Ryan Morgan is standing directly in
front of me, blocking my path.

The
wicked smile plastered on his face grows when he sees I’ve noticed him.
 
He must like the look of fear he always
evokes from me.
 
He looks amused.
 
I need to pass him to get to my
classroom, but I don’t want to get near him.

I
remember the last time we were this close, when he blocked me near my
locker.
 
Hillary saved me that
time.
 
I wonder what would have
happened if she hadn’t shown up when she did.
 
What will happen if Ryan goes after me again, and no one is
there to help me – not Nick, or Hillary, or anyone else?
 
I shiver.
 
I don’t like the look in his eye, as if he’s reading my
thoughts and letting me know just how accurate they are.

We
stare at each other for what seems like forever.
 
Then there’s a strong hand on my back, pushing me forward.
 
I’m sure it’s Sebastian, always showing
up exactly when I need him most.
 
I
can’t take my eyes off Ryan.
 
I’m
afraid if I lose track of him, he’ll attack me.
 
I know it’s ridiculous, as we’re in the middle of a crowded
hallway, but he scares me.
 
I’m
starting to think he might really hurt me if he has a chance.

Once
Sebastian pushes me safely around Ryan, I can breathe again.
 
I close my eyes and exhale, turning
into him.
 
I throw my arms around
his neck and nuzzle my face into his chest.
 
He smells like cinnamon.

He
hesitates a moment, but then, his arms wrap around me.
 
I bury myself deeper into his
arms.
 
My fingers trail down his
back until I lock my arms around his waist, pulling him even closer.
 
I can feel his heat comforting me.
 
I feel safe here.

When
I open my eyes and look up, I’m shocked to see that it is not Sebastian holding
me.
 
I instantly release my arms
from his waist and jump back.
 

“Nick!”

“Are
you okay?” he asks.
 
His voice is
soft, but I can see the anger radiating from him.
 
Ryan has that affect on him.

I’m
panting, first from the fear of Ryan blocking me, and now with the fact that I
just threw myself onto Nick unknowingly.
 
I straighten my shirt and clear my throat.
 
“Uh, yeah.
 
Yeah, I’m fine.
 
I just
can’t stand that guy.”
 
Oh my
God.
 
I can’t believe I just threw
myself on Nick!

He
nods.
 
“I know.
 
Are you sure you’re okay?”

I
see the concern in his eyes.
 
Maybe
there’s more.
 
Maybe he does have
feelings for me.
 
He looks like he
wants me back in his arms.
 
Damn,
he’s gorgeous.
 
He’s wearing a
beanie today, and his dark hair is peeking out from underneath. I glance at the
barbell in his eyebrow.
 
Then I’m
staring at his mouth and those perfect, plump lips of his.
 
I haven’t looked at him like this in a
long time – probably since that day at the reservoir.
 
How could I have forgotten?

I
try to clear my head.
 
“Yes, I’m
okay.
 
I’m glad you were here.
 
Thank you.”
 
God, his stare is so intense.
 
I want to look away, but I can’t.
 
The way he’s looking at me…like he’s looking into me,
reading me… it’s like he’s asking something of me that I can’t hear.

Before
I know what I’m even doing, I brush his hair back behind his ear.
 
He lets his eyes close and leans his
cheek into my hand.
 
For a moment,
I let my palm linger there, holding his face in my hand.

Somewhere
in my head I register that this is wrong.
 
I’m with Sebastian.
 
I
shouldn’t be touching Nick like this.
 
It feels too intimate.
 
But
for some reason, I don’t pull back.

NICK

Can
time just stop in this exact moment?
 
Please?
 
This is as close as
we’ve ever been, but I know she’s not mine.
 
It feels right.
 
It feels natural.
 
Kendra
and I would be amazing together.
 
She just needs to realize that.
 

But
for right now, she’s not mine.

As
much as it pains me to do so, I capture her hand and slowly remove it from my
cheek.
 
I hold it for a little
longer than necessary before I release it.
 
“Kendra…I don’t think…”

Her
eyes drop to the ground, and she looks embarrassed.
 
“I know.
 
I
don’t know what I was thinking.
 
I’m sorry.”

I
tilt her chin up so I can see her face.
 
“Hey, it’s okay.
 
You were
just shaken up by seeing Ryan.”
 
In
reality, I don’t know what the hell just happened.
 
I’m hoping it was more than that, but I wanted to give her
an easy out.

She
looks at me, grateful.
 
“Yeah,” she
whispers.

Every
day I see her, my heart hurts a little more.
 
At first it was a stabbing pain just when I saw her and
Sebastian together.
 
Now it’s just
a constant ache that never seems to go away.
 
My cousin nearly tore me in two when he told me he knew
about my feelings for Kendra and still pursued her.
 
I never imagined him betraying me like this.
 
It doesn’t help that we live in the
same goddamn bedroom, and I’m forced to see him every day.

I’ve
been trying to keep things normal with Kendra – how they were before the
darkest day of my life a week ago.
 
The image of them kissing is still burned into my brain, replaying over
and over like a bad song stuck on repeat.
 
She and I have gone to the library twice in the last week to study physics.
 
The urge to yell at her to stop being
so blinded by Sebastian’s charm and see the animal underneath has presented
itself numerous times.
 
Each time,
I somehow manage to bite my tongue and be mellow.
 
It’s tough.
 
Believe me.

Yet,
here she stands in front of me, not acting shy about touching my face and
making me feel lost in her.
 
Perhaps I have a chance against my cousin after all.

I
nod toward our Physics classroom.
 
“We should get to class.”

“Yeah.”
 
She walks ahead of me.
 
I try not to look at her butt as I
follow, but I let my eyes drop anyway.
 
She’s perfection.

Just
as we’re taking our seats in class, the bell rings.
 
Mr. Reynolds isn’t here yet, so kids talk amongst
themselves, killing time.
 
Kendra
turns in her chair to face me.
 
“So…are you going to the dance this Saturday?”

Is
she serious?
 
I’ve never been to a
school dance in my life.
 
Why would
I start now?
 
“No.
 
That’s not really my thing.”

She
gives me a curious smirk and tilts her head sideways.
 
“Nick Veneto!
 
You’re missing out on one of the most basic high school milestones
– the school dance.
 
You
should go.”

I
sigh.
 
I don’t know why she’s even
bringing it up.
 
I’m sure she’s
going with my cousin.
 
The thought
of seeing them in each other’s arms all night on the dance floor is not really
my idea of an exciting Saturday night.

Needing
to hear it for myself, I ask, “Are you going with Sebastian?”

Her
smile fades, and she straightens her posture at her desk.
 
It’s obvious the question makes her uncomfortable.
 
I have no idea why.
 
It shouldn’t.
 
I think she would be excited about going to the dance with
him, yet she’s hesitating for some reason.

“Yes.
 
He asked me last night.”
 
Her voice is low, like she doesn’t want
me to hear her.
 
Her eyes avert
from mine.
 
Mr. Reynolds walks
through the door, and class begins.

She’s
acting strange today – first, the encounter in the hallway, and now the
weird reaction to me asking her if Sebastian is taking her to the dance.
 
I don’t understand it.
 
I hate the awkwardness between us since
she started seeing my cousin.
 
I’d
rather have our old friendship back than have… whatever is between us now.

 
When the bell rings, she gives me a
sweet smile before rushing out of the room.
 
It makes me wonder what the hell is going on.
 
I’m still thinking about how weird
she’s acting when I exit the classroom and almost crash into Raj.

“Watch
it, man,” he teases.

I
laugh halfheartedly.
 
“Sorry,
dude.
 
I’m out of it.”

We
start walking in the direction of my Spanish class as he talks.
 
“So my dad just texted me.
 
He talked to that lawyer friend of his
and wants you and your mom to meet with him at our house tonight.
 
My mom’s going to cook, and I know how
you love her chicken masala.”
 
His
eyebrows rise as he waits for a response.

“I
do love your mom’s cooking.
 
Okay.
 
I think my mom’s off work tonight, but
let me check.
 
What time?”

“Around
six?” he says, turning toward his classroom.

“Yeah,
okay.
 
If mom can’t make it, I’ll
be there for sure.”
 
It’s about
time I deal with this bullshit lawsuit.

“Cool,”
he says.
 
“Later.”

I
walk to Spanish, thinking about how screwed I am.
 
With Kendra all cuddly with Sebastian, she hasn’t been too
interested in pressing charges against Ryan.
 
She’s probably going to let the whole thing go.
 
Knowing the asshole won’t have to pay
for what he did to Kendra infuriates me, but what can I do?
 
She knows how I feel about it.

Candace
drives me home after school like she’s been doing for the last couple
weeks.
 
She’s pretty cool.
 
Once we’re out of the parking lot and
onto the street, I say, “Kendra was acting weird today.
 
Is she okay?”
 
I don’t want her to think my entire life revolves around
Kendra, so I usually try not to ask Candace anything about her.
 
Plus, every time I do, she seems
irritated.
 
And since I am still
somewhat afraid of her, I don’t like to see her irritated.

Candace
scrunches up her forehead.
 
“Yeah,
she’s fine.
 
Why?”

I
remember the feel of her hand on my cheek and the strange reaction she had when
I asked her about homecoming.
 
“I
don’t know.
 
She just seemed
different today.
 
Forget it.”
 
I try to change the subject before she
can say anything.
 
“Are you going
to the dance on Saturday?”

She
throws her head back and laughs like it’s the funniest question in the
world.
 
I want to tell her to open
her eyes and watch the road, but I know from previous experience that does no
good.
 
This girl does whatever the
hell she wants, whenever the hell she wants.

“Ha!
 
That’s funny, Nick,” she says, still
laughing.

I
know why she finds this funny.
 
She
feels the same way about dances as I do.
 
I try to quote Kendra from earlier.
 
“Candace Schratter!
 
You’re missing out on an important high school milestone – the
school dance.
 
Why aren’t you
going?”

She
stops laughing and looks at me funny.
 
“Are you serious?
 
You of
all people should understand why I am not going.”

“Enlighten
me anyway,” I suggest.

“Hmm.
 
Well, grinding on sweaty boys that just
want to have sex is not really what I’m into.”

I
imagine Candace grinding on the dance floor.
 
The daydream quickly turns into Candace crushing some guy’s
nuts with the toe of her combat boot and yelling profanities at him.
 
I almost laugh out loud.

“Why
don’t we go together,” I say.
 
I
don’t really want to dance because I suck at it, but maybe Kendra’s right.
 
Maybe this is a high school milestone
that I shouldn’t miss.
 
Maybe it
will take my mind off this stupid lawsuit.
 
“Don’t worry.
 
I
won’t expect any sex from you.”

She
peeks over the rim of her sunglasses at me.
 
“Are you serious?”

I
chuckle.
 
I know the idea is
absurd, but I’m going with it.
 
“Why not?
 
What else are you
doing Saturday night?
 
All of our
friends will be at the dance.
 
We
might as well go too.”

“I
was planning on watching the Walking Dead marathon and eating ice cream all
night.”
 
She actually sounds like
she’ll be completely heartbroken to change plans.

“Well,
I tried.
 
I asked a girl to the
dance, and she said no.”
 
I play up
the pained voice and puppy-dog eyes.
 
I’m not really hurt.
 
Actually, Candace and I are totally on the same page about the
dance.
 
I’d rather sit at home and
watch the Walking Dead marathon too.

We’re
turning down my street when she says, “Shit, Veneto.
 
If you’re going to be a baby about it, how can I say no?”

“Really?
 
You really want to go?”
 
I’m a little shocked.
 
I totally thought she wouldn’t bend on
this one.

“No,
I
don’t
really want to go.
 
I’d rather watch zombies all
night.”
 
She parks her Jetta in my
driveway.
 
“But you’re right.
 
I should go.
 
After all, it’s the last high school homecoming of my life,
right?”

I
smile, surprised.
 
“Yeah.
 
You’re right.
 
You should go.
 
We
should go.”
 
I open the car door and start climbing out.
 
“Okay, then.
 
Let’s buy tickets tomorrow.
 
I think they’re almost sold out.”

“Okay,”
she says.

I
get out of the car and start pulling out my backpack when I hear her mutter, “I
can’t believe you’re making me do this.”

I
laugh.
 
“Hey, you can DVR the
Walking Dead marathon.
 
It won’t be
the end of the world.”

“Yeah,
yeah.”

“Thanks,
Candace.
 
For the ride, I
mean.
 
And for coming to the dance
too.”
 
I close the door and wave.

She
rolls the passenger side window down and yells, “Just don’t expect to get laid,
Veneto!”

I’m
smiling a wide grin as she backs out of my driveway and takes off down the
street.
 
I can’t believe we’re
going to the dance.
 
Together.
 
The thought makes me laugh.
 
I just hope she doesn’t wear her combat
boots.
 
And I hope I don’t do
anything to piss her off.

When
I get inside the house, mom is sitting on the couch with her feet up on the
coffee table.
 
I’m surprised to see
her home already.
 
I drop my backpack
by the front door and kick off my chucks.
 
“Hey mom, you’re home early.”

She
extends her arms in a big V, inviting me in for a hug.
 
“Hi mijo.
 
How was your day at school?”

I
take a seat next to her on the couch and glance at the TV to see a talk show
host reading off paternity tests.
 
“It was good.
 
You won’t
believe it, but I’m actually going to the homecoming dance on Saturday night.”