Waiting for Perfect (31 page)

KENDRA

It
has been a week since I found out Nick had a lawsuit pending with Ryan.
 
Ryan, the former friend who tried to
rape me.
 
Ryan, the former friend
who betrayed my trust and has turned the whole school against me.
 
Now, not only does my own mother hate
me, but the entire student population hates me too.
 
They think I slept with Ryan.
 
They think I now regret it and am telling everyone he raped
me.
 
I hate high school.
 
I hate this drama.

But
Nick and Sebastian believe me.
 
They believe me because they were there that night it happened.
 
Nick almost killed Ryan, and Sebastian
was there too, ready to back up his cousin to defend me.
 
How did I get so lucky to have these
two in my life?
 
They are pieces of
the perfection I wish for.
 
And
after that day in the lunchroom, after the first time Sebastian and I kissed,
they both consumed my thoughts.

I
thought about my feelings for Nicolás, my protector.
 
Despite his dark appearance, he is kind and gentle.
 
Behind the piercings and tattoos, he is
someone I could always trust.
 
He
is my anchor.
 
I can tie myself to
him and know that I’ll be safe in this storm.
 
He is strong and determined and always ready to defend
me.
 
I don’t know what I ever did
to receive such loyalty from him, but it’s something I’ve come to depend on.

Sebastian,
on the other, is my light.
 
He paves
a path for me and guides my way.
 
He holds my hand and pushes me to grow and move forward.
 
He is my rock.
 
He’s been broken, and maybe he still
is, but he knows how to be broken and keep going.
 
He can teach me to do the same.
 
My body craves him.
 
He affects me.
 
He makes me
feel alive.
 
But there is a part of
him, an old part of him that is still there.
 
That is the part that I can’t wholly trust.
 
That is the part I’m afraid will break
me even more.
 

But
I realized I was ready to take the risk.
 
I need Sebastian like I need air.
 
That’s why when he came to me that day and told me he wanted me, the
only answer I had for him was yes.
 
Now it’s been a week, and I couldn’t be happier.

Sebastian
and I have been eating lunch in our spot outside the 900 Building every day
since then.
 
Today, he went to talk
to the basketball coach about joining the team next month, so I’m eating with
the girls at our lunch table.
 
Candace and I are the first ones here, and she’s busy laying into me
about Nick.

“You
can’t be serious.
 
Tell me you’re
not this clueless, Kendra!”
 
Candace is raising her voice, and people start looking at us to see what
the commotion is.

I
hold up my hands to settle her.
 
“Chill out, Candace!” I say, eyeing the kids around us to make sure no
one is listening.
 
“What are you
talking about?”

Candace
leans in closer and lowers her voice.
 
“Nick Veneto!
 
The guy is
totally in love with you!
 
You have
to know that.”

“I
don’t think so,” I say with a chuckle.
 
A few weeks ago, I may have thought there was something between us.
 
I mean, the guy was about to kiss me in
the hallway after class, but then he just…didn’t.
 
I’m sure I totally misread him.
 
Besides, I’m with his cousin now.

She
takes a swig of her milk and slams it down on the lunch table.
 
Arching her brow, she stares at me like
I’m crazy.
 
“He is.
 
He pretty much told me so last week
after that fight he and Sebastian got into.”

I
sigh at the absurdity, thinking about the two of them standing in the music
room arguing about the lawsuit last week.
 
“Candace, I’m with Sebastian.”

“I
know.
 
And I get it.
 
Sebastian is amazing, not to mention
freaking gorgeous.
 
Half the female
population at this school wants to have his babies.”

“Gross,
Candace,” I say, giggling.

She
continues with a smile.
 
“It’s
true.
 
Anyway, I get it.
 
And I’m happy for you, I promise.
 
I am just telling you that you are
totally dense if you think Nick doesn’t like you – because he does.
 
A lot.”
 
She goes back to peeling her orange.

I
watch her peeling the fruit – vaguely wondering in disgust how she’s
washing all that citrus down with milk – but mostly I’m thinking about
Nick.

He
tutored me yesterday after school, but we didn’t talk about much – only
physics.
 
We don’t ever talk about
the lawsuit.
 
Every time I bring it
up, he tells me things are being handled.
 
I guess I have to trust him on that.
 
Overall, he’s been acting a little more distant lately.
 
Is it because I’m dating
Sebastian?
 
I really didn’t think
he liked me that way, but now that Candace brings it up, I can’t help but
wonder.
 
Maybe that’s why he’s been
acting so weird.
 
Or maybe he’s
just under a lot of stress with the lawsuit.

I’m
sure I’m staring off into space when my thoughts are interrupted.
 
“So,” Candace says, “has Sebastian asked
you to homecoming yet?”

A
stupid grin spreads across my face.
 
“Yeah.
 
He asked me last
night, as a matter of fact.”
 
I
remember the rose petals lying on my bedroom floor in letters –
H-O-M-E-C-O-M-I-N-G-?
 
I wonder how
he got into my room to lay them out.
 
I haven’t even told my mom I was dating anyone.
 
Maybe Marcus let him upstairs.

“Well,
just don’t rub it in Nick’s face, huh?” Candace says.

“I
wasn’t going to,” I snap back at her.
 
I don’t know why she is so protective of Nick all the sudden.
 
I know they’re friends, but she makes
this sound personal.
 
Before I get
a chance to ask her about her defensive tone, Megan and Lexi come waltzing over
to sit with us.

“Guess
what?” says Lexi, as she sets down her purse and notebook.
 
“Troy is taking me to dinner at the
Montage Resort before the dance on Saturday.”
 
She takes the seat next to me, smiling from ear to ear.

“Nice,”
I say.
 
“I thought you said he was
keeping it a surprise.
 
How’d you
finally get it out of him?”

Megan
takes out an apple and starts wiping it down with a napkin.
 
“She told him if he didn’t tell her,
she wasn’t going to give him any after the dance.”

“I
did not!”
 
Lexi laughs and then
looks away sheepishly.
 
“Well, not
in so many words.”

Candace
looks disgusted.
 
“I don’t even
want to know.”

Lexi
unwraps a granola bar and says between bites, “So Kendra, are you going to the
dance?”

I
quickly glance to Megan.
 
“Uh,
yeah,” I say, silently willing Lexi to shut up about homecoming.

Lexi
erupts into a huge grin.
 
“With
Sebastian?
 
How did he ask
you?
 
Tell me everything!”

I
am drilling my eyes into her, trying telepathically to have her shut the hell
up.

Megan
eyes me. “What?
 
You and
Sebastian?
 
Like,
Sebastian
, Sebastian?”

I
haven’t discussed Sebastian with Megan yet.
 
After she claimed him on the first day of school and then
threw herself on him in the parking lot a few weeks later, I haven’t made a
point to talk about him with her.
 
She doesn’t even know we’re together.

Sebastian
told me he wasn’t interested in Megan.
 
I
am the one he wants.
 
This last week has been great.
 
I love spending time with him.
 
I’ve tried not to think about that day
I saw him and Megan kissing.
 
The
thought of it still makes me sick.
 
I know he really likes me, but I’m not certain he wouldn’t kiss her back
if she went after him again.

Megan
is waiting for a response, so I give her the best one I can.
 
“He’s a really great guy.”

Lexi
and Candace are looking for a reaction from Megan, but one never comes.
 
She returns to her apple and says,
“Candace?
 
Are you going to the
dance?”

“Ha!
 
Not a chance.”
 
Candace doesn’t do dances.

I’m
glad Megan doesn’t ask any more questions about Sebastian and me.
 
I don’t want to deal with her bullshit
right now.
 
Sebastian and I are
happy.
 
I don’t want anything
– or anyone – to ruin that.

Lexi
lights up as Troy suddenly appears beside her.

“Ladies,”
he says, giving us each a warm smile.

“Hi
Troy,” we say.

He
leans down and plants a kiss on Lexi’s lips.
 
“Come on, babe.
 
I’ll walk you to class.”

The
bell rings, and we begin to gather our things and stand.
 
Lexi turns back toward me and says,
“Hey, what about the game?
 
Are we
going?”

Megan
flips her long hair over her shoulder.
 
“I’ll be there.”

“Yeah,
I’m going,” I announce.

Megan’s
eyes are daggers.
 
“With Sebastian?”
she huffs.

I
think about ignoring her, but I decide to stand up for myself and say,
“Yes.
 
With Sebastian.”

Her
eyes slit into a look that tells me she is totally not over Sebastian.
 
It kind of pisses me off.
 
I mean, he told her flat out he doesn’t
want anything to do with her, and now he’s seeing me.
 
She needs to get over this.

I
think Candace senses the instant tension.
 
She grabs Megan’s arm and starts walking.
 
“I’m going to the game too.
 
So I guess we’ll all be there.
 
Okay, well, see you guys later.”
 
She leads Megan away.
 
I can tell Megan’s pissed, but she doesn’t say anything else.

I
start walking with Lexi and Troy.
 
“Well, that was awkward.”

Lexi
hooks an arm through mine.
 
“Don’t
worry about Megan.
 
She’ll get over
it.”

“I
don’t know what her deal is,” I say.
 
I take a look around and motion to the kids in the courtyard.
 
“She can have any of these guys.”

Troy
laughs.
 
“She probably already
has.”

Lexi
slaps him on the arm.
 
“Hey!
 
That’s our friend you’re talking
about.”

Troy
shakes his head.
 
“I’m just
saying.
 
She probably is just going
after Sebastian because he’s the only one that’s ever told her no.
 
He’s a challenge.”

I
know he’s right.
 
I don’t like it
though.
 
If Sebastian is a
challenge to her, she’s not going to stop.
 
I know her.
 
She’s stolen boyfriends from all of us before.
 
Right after Bobby Coheed dumped me after sleeping with him,
he started seeing Megan.
 
She and I
went without talking to each other for four months during sophomore year.

The
only reason I even started hanging out with her again was because she told the
whole student population that Bobby Coheed had the smallest dick she’d ever
seen.
 
Then she apologized to me
profusely, saying she had been an idiot to ever go out with him and that he was
just as big a jerk as I had said.
 
After two weeks of her trying to get back in my good graces, I forgave
her.