Vampire Taxonomy (10 page)

Tragic Vampires typically exhibit the same unseen and natural talents as the common vampires, with one major difference. The underfed vampire is a weakened being, so normally the ability to read minds, force his will upon others, or partake in any additional psychic powers will be greatly hindered. Whether it’s an inability to focus or purely malnourishment from not drinking blood, Tragic Vamps are never at full capacity when they are underfed. Therefore many Tragic Vampires have either completely lost their unseen abilities, or they have extremely weakened powers.

There is no such thing as light conversation with most Tragic Vampires. You’re going to be either shut out completely or subjected to long-winded sermons about a ruined life and a desperate soul on the search for redemption while dealing with “the hunger.” Should you get a Tragic Vampire to talk, a difficult task in itself, make sure you’ve blocked off ample time to discuss years of pain, addiction, in-depth analysis of each action the immortal took postbite, the pains of his heroics, or just hours and hours of feelings banter. Whatever topic he chooses to discuss, it will be full of self-gratifying pity, moral lessons, weary explanations of how he’s taken up fighting evil to save his soul, or something to that tune; whatever the topic, it will be a long conversation.
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Why do they launch into lengthy prose? If you manage to pry their trap open, it really all depends on the vampire. Most talk for hours at a time because they so rarely get the chance to speak (what with living in isolation and all). Others drone on because it’s therapeutic to get their past dirty deeds off their undead chests. Sadly, this type of intellectual stimulation can get real old, real fast. The best advice is to stick it out and nod though the entire process. Remember: This is a moody group. A moment of disinterest can be taken as a direct insult against their tireless struggle and plight, and can incite even the calmest of vampires into a hateful bloodlust. Above all things, take their issues deadly seriously.

Quite a few Tragic Vamps take their guilty consciences to heart and feel the need to redeem themselves for all the suffering they and the rest of their kind have inflicted upon the human race, and subsequently, take up the hero mantle.

These Tragic Heroes use their heightened abilities for good. Perhaps they’re trying to make up for the bad they unleashed on the world previously, maybe they are no longer enchanted with the evil side to their dark lives, or maybe they’ve risen from the grave after being sexually assaulted and murdered by a gang of predator vampires and they’re just looking for some cold, undead justice.
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Either way, there’s a growing underground group of pop culture hero vampires who use their powers for good, and are good at it.

The real-life versions of these characters are exceptionally rare and prefer to remain out of the limelight. Think about it: They spend their lives destroying their own kind—beasts that the human race is not fully prepared to comprehend—and the rest of the supernatural world wishes they were ashes. Discretion and secrecy is imperative in these creatures’ way of life. If they were caught in mid-vampire slay by the authorities, they would have to go to jail. And who has time to deal with the human justice system when there is a supernatural war raging on our doorstep?

Although these particular heroes harbor all the emotional issues of the Tragic Vampire, they choose to work it out on the streets. The mission to save the world from danger is more important to them than saving their souls (though you could make the case that they’re trying to buy their way into heaven). As other vampires prefer to brood and mope and isolate themselves, these immortals take action. Still, it’s a lonely mission when you’re fighting creatures the rest of the world has chosen to ignore. Plus they’ve seen the violence and would prefer to keep the casualty list low, so flying solo (or with a bare minimum Scooby Gang) is commonplace among the Tragic Heroes.

Not all Tragic Vampires swear off the human bloodsucking. Some of them are perfectly all right with munching on the occasional human neck as long as that human is an evildoer, morals be damned. These vampires justify their need for human blood by deciding that they are, in fact, doing human society a favor by ridding it of its more undesirable characters. Red-eyed Marie from the film
Innocent Blood
fulfilled her sex and blood quota feasting on the necks of criminals.

Does this cavalier vigilante attitude often lead to terrible mistakes? You betcha. In fact, in that same movie Marie mistakenly leaves a mob boss for dead, which in turn leads to a whole army of vampire gangsters ravaging the town. Although this situation allows for a fantastic helping of “made man” vampire puns, it’s a perfect example of how vampire vigilantism is dangerous at best.

Cavalier Vigilantes are often the scourge of the Tragic Heroes’ existence, as their loose regard for human life contradicts everything the Tragic Hero tries to protect. Whereas the Heroes take the plight of humankind seriously and go to great lengths to protect even the worst mortal criminals (preferring to let the justice system decide their fate), Vigilante vamps often get caught up in their own vices and undead needs.
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And although most do try very hard to stick to a personal code of ethics, only feeding on murderers, drug dealers, and the like, the blurry line between personal justice and plain old revenge makes it likely that most Vigilante Vampires will cross it at least once in their existence.
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Some of these Vigilante Vamp figures are wildly entertaining jackasses whose loner statuses have left them with a personality so crass and outrageous that it would turn the polite and pasty Béla Lugosi a dark shade of red. True, many other vampires, especially the Villains, come and go and do as they please. But a Tragic Vampire’s combination of inner dilemmas, blood addiction, and isolationism creates the perfect storm for one of the most entertaining pricks in the history of vampire classification.

You may find yourself wanting to befriend and save this type of troubled vampire whose sarcastic attitude makes them so appealing. This would be a huge mistake. The playful jerks are like that for a reason. Remember that with the Tragic Vampires, what you see is what you get. If you meet a vampire who is still dealing with addiction but charms you with his witty banter, sexual prowess, and carefree attitude toward societal qualms, he probably won’t have a problem with opening up a vein right in public as well. Sure, he’ll feel rotten about it for days, but you’ll still be the one with half a pint of blood missing. It takes discipline and restraint not to bite into your neck, and those who make jokes still haven’t fully come to terms with the seriousness of their condition. You can never let your guard down, no matter how entertaining a vampire may seem.
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Many of the Tragic Vampires listed here have extremely high classification crossover ability. Vampires, like people, are multifaceted beings, so it’s not uncommon to find a Tragic Vampire who also displays features of the Romantic classification. Often this type is miserable because they’ve been harboring passionate romantic feelings for another. Unrequited or doomed love is often the cornerstone for morose vamps. So although a vampire may be placed in this category, know that this is not the final say on this particular nosferatu.

Take, for instance, Miriam Blaylock from
The Hunger
. This incredibly powerful seductress whispers forever to her victims and then locks them away to die a slow and painful death. Many critical eyes have gone over her seemingly harsh actions and pointed out that she does love her victims, deeply, in her own way. It is her curse that drives her to murder, and yet she still doesn’t stop. Is she a misunderstood Romantic, a Villain, or just a Tragic creature doomed to live in a world where her loved ones share a few precious centuries with her and then wither away into dust? It’s a difficult call, but vampires like Miriam straddle the classification borders (though we think in the end she truly belongs here).

Still, the point of the matter is that Tragic Vampires are the least mentally stable out of the vampire bunch, and that’s saying something. They also have the highest classification crossover potential, so you’ll definitely see Tragic Vampires mentioned here and in other chapters as well.

The lure of the Tragic Vampire is incredibly tempting because everyone loves a fixer-upper now and then. Plus their sour attitude and “I just need to be loved” puppy dog eyes make them seem like a long-lost stray just looking for the right home, which is most likely what the last foolish mortal thought before he or she woke up after a blood bender with a wrecked house, sore neck, and missing pet cat.
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Seemingly good vampiric intentions should in no way convince you that this creature is anything more than a killer. In reality, they’re underfed ticking time bombs ready to burst from hunger at the first sign of a skinned knee. There are no guarantees that if bitten in a blood rage, their vampire venom won’t turn you into a vampire immediately. And there certainly aren’t any promises that a vampire can make it through the rest of their immortal lives clean and blood sober. The hunger is there forever.