Until Alex (6 page)

But I didn’t care. I needed to get away from him.

Far away.

CHAPTER FIVE

HAYDEN

As if being chased by a chainsaw toting murderer, Alex wove her way through the tables. She clearly felt embarrassed by her toast. Her words. Her feelings. It took guts to be so open. So truthful. I admired her honesty. But it didn’t mean I agreed with her.

Because the only people I got sent to ended up broke, wounded, or dead.

But, man, I’d be an idiot not to be affected by her words. They stole the air right out of my lungs. She saw me as someone worthy of her friendship. Someone she sought comfort in. Someone she could rely on. 

Except for Remy, no one had seen me that way before.

Heads turned as Alex passed by. Her gorgeous face. Her hot body. Her innocence. It was all there for the entire bar to see. And they saw. How could they not?

She stopped at the DJ table beside the stage. Her eyes finally snagged mine from a safe distance away. Before I could acknowledge her, her attention shot to the DJ. They exchanged a few words before he handed her a microphone.

Oh, shit.

Alex climbed up onto the stage.

Center. Fucking. Stage.

She leaned against the wooden stool, her right foot resting on the lower rung like a rock star ready to belt out a ballad. She grasped the microphone stand, popped the microphone in, and lowered it to her height like she did it for a living.

I prayed it wasn’t the alcohol making her brave. Because for a tiny thing, she’d just downed two beers and a shot of tequila.

Music to the eighties scorned girl’s anthem “I Will Survive” filled the bar. The women broke into wild cheers. I sensed a fucking sing-along. Maybe their voices would drown out Alex’s.

She lifted her head, her green gaze holding mine like we were the only two people in the bar. Even across a congested room, I sat captivated by not only those amazing eyes, but by the owner of those eyes. Her lusty expression made my body twitch. I couldn’t look away even if I wanted to.

The lyrics tumbled out of her pouty little mouth slow and sexy as she explained she was afraid and petrified. 

I sucked in a breath. Her words flowed out in tune. The girl could sing. She could really sing. I raked both hands through my hair, letting the relief wash over me.
Thank Christ.

When the beat of the song picked up, Alex jumped to her feet, ripped the microphone from its stand, and worked the stage from left to right and back again.

That little vixen.

She knew exactly what she was doing, swaying her ass around up there in those tight jeans and knee high boots like a fucking
rock star.

She threw her arm into the air declaring she’d survive, and the women in the bar jumped to their feet and sang along. Even the men whistled and cheered, hanging onto every raspy note and intentional swing of her hips.

Watching her up there, exuding confidence and sex appeal, struck me speechless. There was definitely more to Alex than met the eye.

It made me wonder. What “tough times” had she been through? What was she surviving? I wished I didn’t want to know. I wished I didn’t
need
to know.

As the final note drifted through the speakers, those who weren’t already up jumped to their feet. The wild noise reverberated throughout the room like a full-blown concert. I rose to my feet wearing a big dopey grin, awed by
Alex. A girl I hardly even knew.

She looked out over the crowd from her spot on stage. Her lips split into a giant grin as if the shit she’d been carrying just vanished. And if it only lasted for a fleeting moment, the moment had been worth it. For her. For me. For everyone in that damn room.

She stepped down into the crowd with the help of two guys at the front of the stage who were more than willing to put their hands on her. As she maneuvered through the room, she laughed as people reached out and slapped her hand.

When she finally reached our table, her eyes were alight, her face filled with joy. Without warning, she threw her arms around my waist with an adorable giggle and buried her face in my chest.

Instantly, my body stiffened. I didn’t speak. I didn’t breathe.

Sensing my discomfort, Alex dropped her arms and stepped back, plastering on an insincere smile and sliding into her seat.

I hated myself in that moment for not being able to control that part of me. The fucked-up part that kept people at a distance. It was a defense mechanism. My very own alarm system that kicked in when things got too uncomfortable, or in this case, too close to being normal.

Alex picked up the beer the waitress delivered while she was on stage and finished it off in a few long chugs.

“That was amazing,” I said, trying to salvage the night.

Alex shrugged, her eyes landing on everything but me. “Keg stand champ back home. Two years running.”

Though she didn’t laugh, I did. Her sense of humor always surprised me. Pretty girls weren’t usually funny. I mean, the ones I took home weren’t there because of their wit. Alex’s was a breath of fresh air. It became more apparent with every moment I spent with her. Whether I ruined the moment or not.

But being able to chug a beer wasn’t what I meant. And she knew it. “Your
voice
is amazing.”

She kept her eyes glued on the two girls taking the stage. “It’s just something I can do.”

“Have you tried out for one of those singing shows?”

She glanced at me like I’d said the most ridiculous thing she’d ever heard. “I only do it for fun. I’m not going to be a singer or anything.”

I rested my elbows on the table and leaned in a little closer. “What
do
you want to be?”

Alex shrugged, her eyes suddenly
uneasy. I wasn’t sure if it was my question or the alcohol, but her gaze fell distant.

“You’re not gonna tell me?”

Her eyes transformed from uneasy to irritated in a matter of seconds. “You know, Hayden, you have all these questions for me, but you haven’t told me one thing about you.”

“You haven’t asked.”

She sat back and crossed her arms. “How old are you?”

“Older than you.”

Her lips pinched like she downed something sour. “Why do you live alone?”

“I choose to.”

Her frown deepened. “How do you afford it? What do you do for work?”

I shrugged a shoulder. “You know, this and that.”

Most girls found my evasiveness charming, practically begging me to take them home with me. But Alex looked about ready to kill me. “Seriously?”

No. But I couldn’t tell her I beat down people for a living. I tipped back my bottle and chugged down my beer, allowing the coolness to penetrate my body. “So you’re a senior?”

Alex paused for a long moment, obviously debating whether or not to answer my question.

I waited her out.

“Three days ‘til senior year. At a new school. With no friends. Can’t wait.”

My lips pulled to the side regrettably.
That sucked.

Her head tilted to the side. “So, are you a senior, too?”

I shook my head. I knew you were expected to offer more than what was asked. But the more I said, the more I risked letting people in. Letting them see the real me.

“Oh, that’s right,” she said, shooting me attitude. “You’re too busy with this and that.”

I didn’t even try to hide my amusement as I swallowed the last of my beer behind a grin.

ALEX

I sat back in my seat and watched the next few singers without another word. Hayden might’ve been amused by his evasiveness, but I wasn’t.

Okay, so maybe it wasn’t Hayden.

Maybe it was my own humiliation. I had no clue what possessed me to throw myself into his arms in the first place. I guess the excitement of the moment, and the fact that I hadn’t felt that alive since leaving Austin, overwhelmed me.

But the way he stood there, stiff beneath my touch like I carried some kind of disease, mortified me.

I tried to play it off with indifference, but truthfully, I just wanted to get back to my aunt’s apartment and lock out the outside world.

As if reading my mind, Hayden spoke over the music. “You ready to hit the road?”

I didn’t answer, just grabbed my handbag from the back of my stool and rummaged through it in search of my wallet.

“Don’t even think about it,” he warned.

My eyes lifted to his. “This was on me, remember?”

“Yeah, I remember. Now put your cash away. I’m paying.” His stern look and chilly tone left no room for an argument.  

Five minutes later,
Eddie Vedder blared through Hayden’s speakers, preventing our drive home from being unnervingly quiet. I wondered if the other girls he had in his truck minded the nineties’ music. My dad couldn’t leave the driveway without Pearl Jam on, so I knew the songs and didn’t mind them. If anything, they just made me sad.

But these days, what didn’t?

I glanced over at Hayden’s shadowed profile lit only by the sporadic headlights of passing cars. I wondered what made him so reticent. His past? His current situation? Me?

He hit the nail on the head when he said we knew so little about each other. But he wasn’t the only one to blame. I didn’t offer much in regards to me or my past either. “My favorite’s ‘Black.’”

Hayden’s eyes remained on the dark road, but a little smirk tipped his lips.

I waited him out.

“Mine’s ‘Nothingman.’”

I nodded, recognizing the song. “Walking on your own with thoughts you’d rather not think?”

His eyes shot to mine, blinking hard. It made me wonder. Maybe we weren’t so different after all. Both on our own. Both with heads full of memories that brought nothing but sadness.

Without a word, Hayden’s attention turned back to the road. That was all I’d get.

* * *

Parking in the darkest corner of the parking lot, Hayden jumped out and circled to my side before I could even gather my handbag into my lap. He pulled open my door, but unlike the scene outside the bar, he didn’t lean in and whisper in my ear. He waited for me to step out with one hand in his pocket and the other on the door.

As we crossed the parking lot, a spring peeper croaked its high-pitched call in the distance, making our silence in the balmy night even more prominent. Like things weren’t awkward enough.

Inside
, the blast of air conditioning sent chills scurrying up my arms. Or, it could’ve been Hayden’s arm brushing mine as we took the silent ascent to the second floor.

I wondered why he never used the elevator. Scratch that. I wondered lots of things about him. Things, after the night’s unfortunate turn of events, I’d probably never find out.

He stopped outside his door, running his hand up and down the back of his head, messing up his already tousled hair.

Saving him the inner struggle of what to say, I continued to my aunt’s apartment and unlocked the door. I glanced over my bare shoulder.

With his hands buried in his pockets, he faced me.

“Thanks for tonight. You really helped me forget. At least for a little while.”

Taking a page from his book, I pushed open the door and slipped inside without another glance.

HAYDEN

I turned onto my side, checking the alarm clock for the hundredth time.

Seven thirty.

I hadn’t slept at all. Not because of the usual nightmares. Because Alex’s comments played through my head on a constant loop.

What did she need to forget? And why the hell did I only help for a little while? Did I really fuck everything up by blowing off her hug? Disregarding her toast? Dodging her questions? Not explaining my song choice?

Man.
I was such a douchebag.

A loud pounding on my front door snapped me out of my head.

I rolled out of bed and moved through my living room. The pounding continued like the person didn’t think they’d been loud enough the first time. I didn’t even bother throwing on a shirt or checking the peephole. Whoever showed up at my door that early on a Friday morning deserved my wrath.

I yanked open the door, stepping back as Remy pushed by me. “Get packed.” He landed his ass on my sofa and kicked his black boots onto my coffee table like he owned the place. “We’re taking a road trip.”

I rubbed my palms into my scratchy eyes. “What the hell, man? It’s not even eight.”

“Cooper needs us up in Houston.” His brows bounced. “All expenses paid.”

As much as I needed the money, Cooper expected us to drop everything to take care of his shit. Excuses were unacceptable. And since Remy was always game, it meant I was, too. We were a team and Cooper knew it. Hell, everyone knew it.

And even though I wanted out of this job—this life—I couldn’t let Remy down. Not after everything he’d done for me. “I need to be back for Monday.”

“Don’t be such a bitch, Hayden. The sooner we get outta here, the sooner we’ll be back.”