Until Alex (21 page)

“What?”

She glanced at my tented shorts. “Saying no.”

“Oh, I’m not saying no.” I pressed myself into her thigh, letting her feel what she did to me. And how much I wanted her. “I’m just saying not tonight.” I leaned down, letting my lips and tongue devour hers. Her groans and sighs were music to my ears and by far the most adorable thing I’d ever experienced. I pulled back, nuzzling my nose gently to hers. “I told you I’m changing. That starts now.”

She rolled her eyes. “Oh, lucky me.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

ALEX

The ringing phone in the living room pulled me from a sound sleep. I kept my eyes closed, loving both the soft comfort of my bed and the strong arms holding me from behind.

Hayden’s steady breathing told me he was still asleep, so I took the opportunity to just be in his arms. Be secure. Be completely content that
he
was safe.

As much as he tried to hide it, what happened the previous night scared the hell out of him. I knew real tears when I saw them. And those were definitely tears on his face when he showed up at my door.

I hoped he meant what he said about changing. Because I wouldn’t be able to sleep if he continued working with Remy. The not knowing. The fear of where he was and who he was going to see. The risk he took stepping onto someone else’s property demanding money. He didn’t have nine lives. One of these nights, he wouldn’t be so lucky. And that knowledge would destroy me every time he left his apartment.

“Alex, it’s me,” my aunt’s voice projected loudly from the answering machine. I cringed, hoping she wouldn’t wake Hayden. “Just wanted to wish you a happy birthday, honey. Sorry I won’t be there to share it with you. But we’ll celebrate when I get back on Monday.”

“Happy birthday, sweetheart,” Hayden whispered in his husky morning voice.

I twisted in his arms and rested my cheek against his bare chest, realizing my bra was the only thing separating us. “Thanks.”

“Were you gonna tell me?”

I shrugged as he pulled me tighter. “Careful for your ribs.”

He didn’t let up his grip. “They’re fine.”

I inhaled
his aloe scent, absorbing it like I needed it to function. “Can I ask you something?”

“Go for it.”

I pulled back and looked up into his eyes. Even with his unshaven face which I discovered last night concealed a bunch of small cuts, he was gorgeous. Even more so knowing he planned to change—and I might’ve had a little something to do with it. “Have you ever called me beautiful?”

His forehead creased.

I laughed. “That didn’t come out right. I wasn’t fishing for a compliment or anything, I swear. It’s just, when I was in the hospital, I had a dream you called me beautiful. It felt so real. I’ve always wanted to ask.”

A sexy smile stretched its way across his lips. “I like you dreaming about me.”

I rolled my eyes. “It was just that once.”

“Well since we’re being so honest,” he said, not buying it at all. “I have something to admit.”

I raised my brows.

“That night. In the hospital. I did call you beautiful. Probably a hundred times when I was begging you to wake up.”

I closed my eyes, loving his honesty, but hating the thought of that night. 

“It’s how I see you. A beautiful, innocent angel.”

I opened my eyes, realizing the gravity of his words. He’d gotten a tattoo for God’s sake. I raised my face to his. “
Your
angel.”

He met me half way. “
My
angel.”

HAYDEN

I’d never spent a whole day making out with a girl and not getting her naked. I guess I really was changing. Didn’t stop me from needing a cold shower when I left her apartment, though.

I hadn’t spoken to Remy. A couple of the guys called and said he’d been on a major bender. Alcohol, drugs, women, and more drugs. Remy on a normal day was fucked in the head. Add murder to the mix and you had a volatile Remy.

But I wouldn’t let any of my bullshit mess up Alex’s night. She deserved an amazing birthday. The first one without her parents. And I was gonna be the one to give it to her.

When she opened her apartment door, I staggered back, floored by how gorgeous she really was. There was something about her flowing brown hair and gorgeous green eyes that stole my breath away every time I looked at her. And who could ignore her strapless red corset-top, black skirt, and knee high black boots?
Hot damn.

With a wide smile, Alex stepped into me, wrapping her arms around my waist like she hadn’t been with me all night and day. She looked up into my eyes, dreamy and content. “Thank you.” She didn’t have to explain. I knew she meant my clean-shaven face and the white button down shirt I wore with a loose blue tie.

“What happened to ‘you’re swell’?”

Her eyes hung on mine. “Oh, you are so much more than swell.”

* * *

I parked outside Ellington’s, the fanciest restaurant in town. I’d never been before. Never had a reason to. I wanted to check if we needed a reservation before bringing Alex in, so I pushed open my door.

Alex grabbed my arm. “We’re not going here, are we?”

My brows furrowed. Every girl wanted to eat there. “That was the plan.”

Alex stuck out her bottom lip. On any other girl the pout would’ve annoyed the hell out of me. But on Alex, I wanted to pull her to me, suck on her bottom lip until she begged me to do dirty things to her, then give her whatever the hell she wanted. “I thought we might be going somewhere else.”

I snorted. “Care to clue me in?”

She shook her head.

I stared out my window watching overpriced cars pull up to the valet as well-dressed couples got out and made their way inside the restaurant. The same restaurant Alex wanted no part of.

But if not something romantic like Ellington’s, where? Had she mentioned it and I didn’t catch on? “Not even a small clue?”

She shook her head with a smile, clearly finding my bewilderment amusing.

When it finally hit me, I smiled, too.

Of course.

* * *

Jake’s was beyond packed, but somehow we snagged a seat in the middle of the room. The place echoed with voices of the groups jammed around high-top tables and those butchering songs on stage. And though we needed to shout to speak, Alex didn’t seem to mind. She’d worn a giant grin since we pulled into the lot.

I glanced around the crowded room. “I can’t believe this is your idea of a good birthday.”

“You thought it was a good idea for a first date,” she challenged.

“Oh, sweetheart, that was never meant to be a date.”

She raised a dubious brow.

“I was trying like hell to keep you away from me.”

She threw back her head and laughed. So carefree. So beautiful. “How’d that work out for you?”

Before I could offer up a smug reply, the waitress slid up beside our table. Her eyes immediately locked onto mine.

Oh shit
.

Without missing a beat, Alex’s hand slid across the table, linking our fingers on top of it. “We’ll have two bottles of Bud
.”

Only then did the waitress notice Alex sharing the table with me. “Huh?”

Alex didn’t even bother glancing back. She just gazed across the table at me, laying on the enamored eyes big time. “I said my man and I’ll have two bottles of Bud.”

My man? I liked the sound of that. And the feisty way she uttered it, staking claim and taking names.

The waitress blinked hard. “Yeah. Okay.”

“And two tequila shots,” I added.

“Sure. Be right back.”

With the waitress gone, Alex squeezed my hand. “Maybe we should’ve already had the talk.”

I suppressed a smile, wanting her to say the words.

She lifted her chin toward the bar where the waitress awaited our drinks. “No more of that.”

I smiled, loving how possessive she’d become. “No more of what?”

She tilted her head, eyeing me in disbelief. “Don’t give me that innocent act. No more girls.”

My head recoiled. Did she really think I’d want to be with other girls after I’d tasted her?

Misreading my expression, her eyes flared. “Are you joking?”

She looked about ready to take a swing at me or bolt, so I linked my foot around the bottom of her stool and pulled it to me. With only inches separating us, I took her other hand and held both in my lap. I leaned forward, moving my lips to her ear. “Don’t you realize you’ve ruined me for all others?”

Her soft waves brushed my cheek as she shook her head.

I pulled back slightly, needing to see her eyes. Needing her to see
my
eyes. “I haven’t been with anyone since I met you.”

She cocked her head to the side.

“I swear.”

“Hayden. I’ve seen them.”

I shook my head, determined to make her believe me. Believe the truth. “I’m serious. Anyone you saw was to make you stay away from me. Except Marisol the night of the dance. She was just nursing me back to health.”

“I bet she was.”

ALEX

I didn’t mean to give Hayden a hard time. I did believe him about Marisol. I just couldn’t believe he’d gone to such great lengths to keep me away from him.
Or
that he so willingly stopped sleeping around after meeting me once. The jury was still out on that one.

The waitress returned with our drinks, placing them down one at a time on the opposite end of the table. Was she trying to pry us apart?

When she finally moved to her next table, Hayden lifted his shot without releasing my other hand. “Happy birthday, beautiful.”

I lifted my shot with a smirk. I didn’t need him to call me beautiful.

Hayden’s eyes jetted around the room, ensuring no one could hear whatever he planned to say. His eyes slid back to mine. “Thank you.”

My forehead creased. “For what?”

His pretty eyes didn’t waver. They held mine. Caressed them. Made sure I believed him. “For coming along when I needed you.”

My lips parted as I struggled to
process what he’d said. Hadn’t he just admitted to pushing me away? Why would he if he needed me?

Tears stung the backs of my eyes.

“You turned me into a creepy stalker who just needed to see you,” he admitted, grazing his thumb over my knuckles. “You made me laugh with your smart little mouth.” His candor made his eyes drift from mine for a long moment. When he finally looked back, I could’ve sworn his eyes were glassy. “Bottom line, Alex…you made me feel.”

I didn’t even bother trying to stop the tears sliding down my cheeks. Hayden’s sincerity floored me. “Thank you,” I mouthed.

Though his eyes itched to move away, his gaze showed a warmth he saved only for me.

I tossed back my shot and closed my eyes, needing a second to process the moment. To let his words truly sink in.

Hayden’s arms slipped around my waist, bringing me to the safe place I associated with only him. Tiny shivers zipped through me as he pressed his lips to my cheeks, stopping the tears as they fell. One after the other.  

I wrapped my arms around him, letting him hold me for a long moment. A long unspoiled moment in the middle of a noisy, crowded bar. It couldn’t have been more perfect.

“How about a song?” he murmured in my ear.

“What do you want me to sing?”

He pulled me by the hand off my stool. I patted my eyes with the back of my free hand, trying to rid any trace of tears as we moved to the DJ.

Hayden leaned down to speak to him. When his grip on my hand tightened and he led me onto the stage, I did a double take. “What are you doing?”

He flashed me a nervous smile, then pulled the stool forward and sat down. “Giving you your birthday gift.”

The guitar intro to Pearl Jam’s “Alive” exploded through the speakers. I threw back my head and laughed. Of course he’d pick something so symbolic.

Thankfully, for Hayden, the bar was crowded. Because when the lyrics scrolled across the screen, I could barely hear my own voice over the noise, forget his. But I had to hand it to him. He sang. Whether he was good or bad, it took major guts to get up in front of a packed house and belt out a song. But he did it. And I knew he did it for me, which made me love him even more.

Love?

Oh, crap.

HAYDEN

Singing at Jake’s turned out to be the most embarrassing thing I’d ever done. When
Alex and I descended the stage, we were met by lots of high fives. I couldn’t tell if they were happy the song ended and my ass was off the stage or if I didn’t totally suck. 

At our table,
we ordered more drinks and a heaping plate of nachos. As I devoured half the plate, Alex stared at me with a crooked smile. The same smile she’d worn since we left the stage.

I knew my gift was the cheap way out, but I had this need to give her whatever she wanted. Not because it’s what she was used to. But because I got to watch her face light up, her eyes grow big, and happy creases dig into the corners of her mouth.

Pure serenity.

Maybe I couldn’t afford expensive things, but I’d make damn sure to come through in the other areas.

“A couple months ago I couldn’t even imagine celebrating my birthday. Celebrating anything.” Alex flashed me a sad smile. “But this. This has been perfect.”