Until Alex (10 page)

CHAPTER ELEVEN

HAYDEN

I pulled into the parking lot
a little after one, hating the fact that I turned down Sydney. She’d been throwing herself at me all night at Baxter’s. I just wasn’t feeling it. I guess I hadn’t been feeling the liquor either. Because hopping out of my truck, I found myself unusually sober.

I crossed the quiet lot. The small light over the back door of the building cast a faint glow over the property. I glanced to the picnic table where everything seemed to get more complicated. And maybe because I couldn’t shake the image of Alex in that black bikini, I checked out the pool.

My feet stopped. 

Squinting across the property, I could’ve sworn someone occupied one of the lounge chairs.

Curiosity pulled me to the surrounding fence. I spotted the silhouette of a person. A small person curled into a ball. Wavy dark hair peeked from the hood of her black sweatshirt.

What was she doing?

I moved through the gate and dropped to my knees at the side of the chair. I waited a moment, taking in Alex’s flawless skin. She looked so peaceful. I almost didn’t want to disturb her. But it was late and getting cooler.

“Alex,” I whispered, gently shaking her tiny arm. Had she been too exhausted to drag herself inside? Or, had she forgotten her key again and locked herself out? I’d seen Katherine leave earlier with a suitcase.

“Alex.” I shook her arm a little harder. “Wake up.”

She didn’t stir.
Not even a little.

No one slept that soundly.

“Mom. Wake up.”

I
blinked back the vision,
burying it deep inside like I’d been doing for the past eleven years, and yanked Alex’s arm to me. It was an ice cube. I dug my thumb into her wrist. Her pulse was there, but it was slow and faint. 

Dammit
.

I scooped up her tiny body. Holding her tightly to my chest, I ran to my truck. I threw open the passenger door and laid her inside.

Suddenly, I went cold.

Her jeans were unbuttoned and the shirt under her sweatshirt was inside out.

Fuuuuuck
.

I wouldn’t let my mind go there. I couldn’t. 

I jumped into the driver’s side and sped through the deserted streets with my heat blasting and my head pounding. I pulled a blanket from behind my seat and threw it over Alex’s body, rubbing her back to generate more heat. “Stay with me, beautiful. Just stay with me.”

“You’re gonna be alright
, Mom. I love you. Just stay with me.”

I
shook off the memory.

The hospital was only five minutes away. I made it in three. I didn’t park, just pulled in front of the emergency room and jumped out.

I scooped up Alex and ran through the sliding doors. Two nurses in pink scrubs rushed toward us. “Put her down on that stretcher,” the young blonde instructed.

“What happened?” the older redhead asked while checking Alex’s vitals.

“I have no idea.” I stepped back, gripping my hair with both hands wishing I had answers. “I just found her like this.”

The blonde attached a device to Alex’s finger. “Does she drink? Take drugs?”

I shook my head and gave an indecisive shrug. “She drinks casually. I don’t think she’s into drugs. I don’t know.”

“Any idea how long she’s been unconscious?” the redhead asked, her eyes
showing concern.

I shook my head, wanting to punch a wall or whoever let this happen.

“Are you her husband?” the blonde asked, spying Alex’s unbuttoned jeans.

“Fiancé.” The lie left my lips readily. They’d have to take pity on the poor fiancé and allow me in the back. I scrubbed my face
with both hands knowing what I needed to ask. “Do you think she was—”

“We’ll know more once she undergoes a portion of the sexual assault exam,” the blonde explained.

“A portion? Why not the whole thing?”

“It’s extremely invasive. The victim must give consent for the full exam.”

Victim? I dropped my head. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I mean, I knew this shit happened. But not to someone I…knew.

The redhead signaled to the blonde. “Let’s get her into an exam room.” She looked to me regrettably. “You’re going to have to wait out here. I’ll come and get you as soon as we know anything.”

I nodded. They needed to take care of Alex. Not worry about hurting my feelings.

They wheeled the squeaky stretcher through two metal doors. The doors closed behind them, leaving me standing alone in the deserted waiting room feeling
beyond helpless.

I dropped down onto a cold plastic chair. A twenty-four hour news station played on a television in the corner of the room, but I couldn’t hear a sound. My mind was a jumbled mess. I had no idea what to do to quiet it.

I rested my elbows on my knees, burying my face in my hands.

Why had I let my fears get in the way of getting to know her better? Why had I wasted so much time pushing her away? If I hadn’t, I would’ve been with her tonight. Wherever she was.

Seconds turned into minutes. Minutes to hours. 

Each time the metal doors swung open, I jumped up, expecting a nurse or doctor to emerge in search of me. But they always sought another patient’s relative.

Sometime after the sun had risen, the metal doors opened again. The redheaded nurse stepped out, searching the nearly empty waiting room. When she spotted me, her breath whistled through her lips. I had no idea what that meant, but I jumped to my feet and met her halfway.

“How is she?” Time stood still as I awaited her response.

“She’s still unconscious, but her vitals are getting stronger.” She lowered her voice. “Do you know who would’ve given her Rohypnol?”

My eyes widened. I figured it wasn’t just alcohol, but hearing the truth made it real. Made the hell she’d been through while unconscious real. Made me want nothing more than to get ahold of the sick motherfucker who did it and— 

“I’m sorry.” The nurse interrupted my escalating rage. “I should’ve broached the subject differently since she’s someone you obviously care about.”

“No, it’s just, I have no clue who would’ve done it.” But when I found out, I’d kill them. 

She nodded, obviously realizing the odds of me knowing was a long shot.

“Did you find out…if she was…” I still couldn’t say the word. I couldn’t fucking say it. 

The nurse placed her hand on my arm. I tensed at the contact, but it didn’t deter her. She kept it there and shook her head. “We’re still waiting on the results of her tests.”

I nodded. I knew it took time.

“Sweetie, I know you’re not her fiancé. But I’ll tell you what. Why don’t you go back and sit with her for a little while. She could wake up at any time, and I’m sure a familiar face would be nice.”

I made no attempt to deny it. I just followed her through the swinging doors, passing multiple exam rooms separated by
light blue curtains. “How’d you know?”

The nurse turned to me with a knowing smile. “A guy like you buys a girl a rock, which she wasn’t wearing. And he doesn’t let her out of his sight. If you were engaged, she never would’ve been away from you tonight.”

I nodded because she nailed it. I protected what was mine.

And in some part of my messed up brain, I thought staying away from Alex would protect her. From me. From my secrets. From
my job. From my fucked-up life.

The nurse stopped and pulled back a curtain on the right. Inside, Alex looked so small tucked under the blankets in the hospital bed. Her dark curls were a stark contrast to the white pillowcase and sheets concealing her partially reclined body.

To an outsider she appeared to be sleeping peacefully. With her insomnia, being unconscious might’ve been a blessing in disguise. As long as when she awoke, she remained the sweet sarcastic girl I’d come to know.

I sat down in the faux leather chair beside the bed, pulling it right up to Alex’s side. Reaching underneath the sheet, I grabbed hold of her hand. Warmth had returned to it.
Thank God.

I should have released it.
I knew I should have. But instead my thumb traced small circles over her delicate knuckles. I wasn’t sure who I needed to soothe more, her or me. But I didn’t stop. I couldn’t.

I examined the platinum band on her middle finger. The one surrounded by small diamonds. The one she toyed with on our way to Jake’s.

I took inventory of the private area around us. Wires and tubes from numerous monitors and machines ran under Alex’s sheets. A drip bag attached to an IV had been inserted into the back of her right hand, pumping her full of fluids.

I closed my eyes for a long moment. How had this happened? What had she done to deserve it?

That was the messed up thing about life. It hurt people who didn’t deserve it and let screw-ups like me exist. Let us live out our shitty existences. 

As the minutes crept by, the sterile hospital smell brought on a throbbing headache. The monotonous beeping of machines gradually drove my already anxious mind reeling. And if another nurse poked her head in and didn’t have test results, I’d go batshit crazy.

Thoughts of what might’ve happened to Alex messed with my head, creating images I didn’t want to consider. I lifted her hand to my lips and pressed them softly to her smooth skin. “You’re going to be okay, beautiful. I’ll make sure of it.”

I lowered her hand, grasping it between both of mine, concealing it entirely. It was so tiny. A blatant reminder of how fragile she really was. Not only physically, but emotionally.

She hadn’t explained the days of crying on the picnic table. Her difficulty sleeping. The reason she’d moved across the state to live with her aunt. But that’s what I got for pushing her away when we were just getting to know each other.

As time ticked by, and morning transformed to afternoon, exhaustion overtook my body. I’d been up for over twenty-four hours. And my heavy eyelids weren’t going to stay open much longer
—no matter how hard I tried to keep them that way.

I leaned forward, resting my forehead on our joined hands on the side of the bed. Maybe I could recharge if I just rested my eyes for a few minutes.

The beeping of the machines, once annoying as hell, lulled my exhausted body and mind into a much needed sleep.

* * *

“My hand’s asleep,” Alex whispered.

My head shot up, my eyes blinking repeatedly, trying to push away the sleep commanding me. The humming machines and sterile smell yanked me back to reality.

Alex lay in front of me, her eyes cracked open. She wiggled her tiny hand still in my grip.

I immediately released it. “Sorry.”

“What’s going on?” she asked, raspy and barely audible.

My breath left me in a hiss
. Terrified to tell her the truth, I jumped to my feet. “I’ll go get the doctor.”

“Please, Hayden.” Her sad eyes pleaded with me. “I want
you
to tell me.”

I paused between her and the chair, hating the position I found myself in. But if there was ever a time to man up, this was it. I dropped back down into the seat and grasped my knees. “What do you remember about last night?”

As if needing all her strength to recall, Alex squeezed her eyes shut. “I went to a bonfire with Taylor…I took a walk with Cameron.”

“Who’s Cameron?” I growled, wanting to break every bone in his fucking body.

Alex cracked her eyes. “Taylor’s friend from TSU.”

I had a pretty good idea who the guy was. Football player slash surfer. Worked at a taco shop
a few towns over. My teeth gritted at the thought of his hands anywhere near Alex. “Did he touch you?”

“What? No. We just took a walk. But I’m pretty foggy on anything after that.”

I shoved my hands through my hair, anything to stop from punching something. “Were you drunk?”

“I had a beer, but
it felt like ten. I got light-headed and tired.
So
tired.”

I stared into her exhausted eyes, not having the balls to explain it. To say it out loud. To break her heart. But when she still hadn’t grasped it, I tilted my head to the side and twisted my lips regrettably.

She searched my face, her eyes sweeping over my features. Then her eyes expanded, and her entire face dropped. “Oh my God.” Her devastated gaze held mine, begging me to deny it. 

Though I did a piss-poor job of hiding my regret, I nodded.

Her eyes glistened with unshed tears as they shot around the small area. I could see her trying to organize her thoughts. Trying to make sense of the senseless situation. “It must’ve been Cameron. He’s the one who gave us our drinks.”

“Us? Who’s us?”

“Me and Taylor. I can’t believe it.” Her shock exemplified her naivety.

I wanted to say, “Yes, Alex, bad people do exist in this world.” But that hit too close to home. On so many levels.