Until Alex (8 page)

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Authors: J. Nathan

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CHAPTER EIGHT

ALEX

Friday couldn’t arrive quickly enough. I’d finally gotten comfortable with the layout of the campus and come to terms with my crazy schedule. I’d also avoided the coffee shop at all costs. After the way Hayden treated me and seeing him bring home that skanky girl Monday night—with his hand on
her back—I had nothing left to say to him.

I stepped into the busy dining hall and made a beeline for Taylor’s table.

“So what time are you picking us up?” she asked as I sat down beside her. Taylor was one of those southern girls. The ones whose words came out sweet as pie even if they were telling you to screw.

“You want
me
to drive?”

“Honey, with a car like that, you’ve got to flaunt it.”

Giggles erupted from her BFF Chloe who, like Taylor, had accepted me as one of their own. With a perky up-turned nose, shoulder length strawberry blonde hair, and slow Southern drawl, she was exactly what you’d expect in Texas.

“Sure.” I smiled, knowing it didn’t even come close to reaching my eyes. “I can drive.”

The past month had made me cautious. Never quite sure who to trust. If Taylor was just using me to be her designated driver, I’d rather her be up front with me, as opposed to faking our friendship. 

“So how’s your first week been?” Chloe asked.

“Good.” I glanced over her shoulder at the packed room behind her. Only Monday I’d entered the same room filled with unfamiliar faces. Now I sat with two girls who’d embraced me.

My eyes shifted to the corner of the room where Hayden sat with his tattooed friends and a harem of girls in tight fitting tops.
The girls talked, he nodded. Then, as if he could somehow sense me, his eyes flashed up, locking on mine from across the room.

I quickly looked away, trying to lose myself in the conversation at my table. But I couldn’t ignore the feel of his stare. Even fift
y yards away, his presence affected me. But why? He was just some guy I met. A guy who befriended me, only to blow me off like I was nothing more than a momentary diversion. Something to use when he was bored.

As much as I wanted to shake off the infuriating thoughts, they were the truth. And the truth kept me sensible.

Taylor’s voice cut through my inner dialogue. “You’ll meet our friends from TSU tonight.”

“They’re football players,” Chloe added.

“I can’t wait to introduce you to Cameron,” Taylor chimed in while reapplying her lip gloss in a blinged-out compact. “You’ll love him—you don’t have a boyfriend, do you?”

Not the time to drudge up Preston, I shook my head.
             

“So, what’s your plan?” Chloe asked. “Join a sorority? Play a sport?”

I shook my head. “I’m still trying to get through a day without getting lost. It may be small, but it’s still a maze to me.”

The two of them laughed. “Girl, we’ve been there,” Taylor assured me. “It took Chloe a year to find a restroom.”

“You try holding it every day,” Chloe challenged. “I ended up with a massive bladder infection.”

Taylor burst into laughter. I held back my own, until Chloe joined in.

“How ‘bout you?” I asked, deflecting the attention off me.

Taylor held up her palms. “No bladder infection here.”

All three of us burst into laughter. I almost felt normal again sitting there joking around with other girls.

“Chloe cheers for the football team,” Taylor offered.

I didn’t need her to tell me that. Chloe’s perky personality, toned body, and mischievous smile gave her away the first day. 

“And Taylor’s our very own Beyoncé,” Chloe added. “She’s won the talent competition every year. She’s amazing. Wait ‘til you hear her.”

I turned to Taylor with a lifted brow.

She shrugged, tucking her gloss into her handbag. “It’s nothing.”

“Nothing?” Chloe asked in disbelief. “Don’t be so modest, Tay. You’re gonna win a Grammy someday.”

Taylor laughed. “From your lips to God’s ears.”

While Chloe continued singing Taylor’s praises, my eyes betrayed me, drifting toward Hayden’s table.

What the hell
?

He stared directly at me, studying me from half a football field away.

It made no sense. He wanted nothing to do with me, yet he wouldn’t let me be.

Well, two could play that game.

I latched onto his eyes, hoping my anger transcended the distance. But even across the congested room, electricity zapped between us.

The corners of his lips turned up slightly.

Damn him.

The seconds ticked by, but neither of us moved. My foot bounced with nervous energy. What was I doing? He wasn’t even worth it. And soon, the girls would ask a question I’d have to look to them to answer. Hadn’t considered that in my quest to push Hayden’s buttons. All I knew was I wouldn’t be the first to look away. He wouldn’t get that.

Out on the quad, the bell in the bell tower rang, jolting my body. But my eyes remained in place as the twelve rings sounded. Other students jumped to their feet, getting an early start to their twelve-fifteen classes. In doing so, they blocked our connection. But I wasn’t going anywhere. I’d sit there all day if I had to.

“You coming, Alex?” Taylor asked.

“I’ll catch you later,” I said, staring at the muddled crowd. I didn’t see her reaction or hear them walk away, but they must’ve thought I was nuts.

Once everyone between
us finally cleared out of the way, I had a perfect view across the room.

And I stared at an empty seat.

* * *

The coastal breeze blew lazily in when Taylor, Chloe, and I arrived at the beach a little after nine. Good call on the flip flops, jeans, and white hoodie. I’d also swept my hair up in a high ponytail so the wind wouldn’t whip it in my face all night.

Back at UT, we spent our Friday nights at frat parties, clubs, or bars. Apparently when you attended a southern college, you took advantage of the local beaches. They didn’t card or charge a cover. Win. Win.

A large crowd surrounded the fierce bonfire, soaking up the circle of heat the six-foot flames created. The girls circulated, making their way over to people I didn’t know. But I didn’t mind. The whooshing of the ocean waves immediately drew my attention away from everything else.

I stood captivated by the peaceful ebb and flow of the waves, and the white-caps crashing on the smooth shore. It had been a while since I’d been to the beach. I welcomed the salty smell and briny air washing over me and seeping into my pores.

“Here.” Taylor appeared out of nowhere, shoving a red plastic cup into my hand. “The driver gets one, as long as it’s at the beginning of the night.”

I glanced inside the foamy cup. I’d be lucky if I even had half a cup. “Thanks?”

She laughed, her ponytail bouncing. “Hope you don’t think I’m a bitch. It’s just our rule to keep everyone safe.”

I dismissed her comment with the shake of my head, then followed her beyond the fire to where Chloe sat on a surfboard with a group of guys in maroon jerseys. Their shaggy wind-blown hair made them look more like surfers than football players.

“Guys, this is Alex,” Taylor announced, dropping down on
to a blanket between two linebackers who clearly liked the idea of her slender body squeezed between theirs. “She just transferred from UT.”

“Hi.” I smiled as they eyed me up and down, throwing
heys
and
what’s up
my way.

On the ride over, Taylor had been adamant I
meet her friend Cameron. Thankfully, as she rattled off names, he wasn’t one of them. I didn’t bother mentioning that I’d heard enough about two-point conversions, safeties, and quarterback sneaks from Preston to last me a lifetime. It just opened me up for questions I wasn’t ready to answer.

An hour into our night, I sat painfully sober on a surfboard beside Chloe.

“Alex,” Chloe slurred. “You’re so peeertty.” She stroked the top of my head like a little puppy.

“Thanks.”

“No, I’m serious. You’re veeerrry peeertty.”

“Leave her alone, Chlo. Ryan’s looking for you.” Taylor pulled Chloe to her feet and sent her on her way down the beach. “Yeah, probably should’ve warned you,” she said, taking Chloe’s vacated seat. “She has trouble handling her liquor.”

Chloe staggered down the beach until she was devoured by the night.

“I’m sure Ryan isn’t complaining.”

Taylor laughed. “You’re probably right.”

We both gazed out at the water for a long while. I wondered if Taylor knew what it was like to have her entire world turned upside down. To have everything she ever knew or loved taken away from her. She seemed so put together, so full of life, so adored by everyone. Did she wear a mask like me?

“So, next time. I’m driving.”

“I’m holding you to it.”

She smiled. “That’s if there is a next time. Are you having fun?”

No. “Sure.”

“Yeah, until Chloe throws up in your backseat.” I must’ve grimaced because she bumped her shoulder to mine. “Don’t worry. I’ll help you clean it. Actually, that’s a lie. But I’ll hire someone to do it.”

We both smiled.

A football player the size of a shed jogged over, kicking sand all over us.


Robbie
,” Taylor whined.

Her complaining didn’t faze him. He leaned down and yanked her up, tossing her over his shoulder. She squealed as he charged toward the water, sand kicking up behind them. Soon they
were swallowed up by the darkness. And I’d been left alone. Alone on a surfboard in the middle of a party where I knew no one.

I would
not
feel sorry for myself. I would
not
.

* * *

When I pulled into my parking lot a little after one, my eyes flashed around. I’d like to say I sought a closer space, but that wasn’t the truth. I searched for Hayden’s truck which wasn’t there.

I blew out a disappointed breath, taking windblown pieces of hair with it. I had th
at same let down feeling in the pit of my stomach. The one I got at the beach every time someone new showed up and it wasn’t him.

I know.

Stupid.

CHAPTER NINE

ALEX

Taylor waltzed into the dining hall, totally owning her plaid shirt, almost nonexistent jean shorts, and cowboy boots. Only a girl as stunning as her could pull off the cowgirl look. Even in Texas.

“Hey, Tay,” Chloe greeted her with a smile.

Ignoring Chloe all together, Taylor slid into the seat beside her and across from me. Her eyes moved over the features of my face, inspecting every inch, every line, every imperfection.

I could feel my brows furrow. “What’s up?”

She didn’t answer. Her eyes continued their scrutiny. I couldn’t decide if she thought I plumped my lips or shaved down my nose. She couldn’t think I had implants. C cups were pushing it for me. 

“Seriously, Taylor, you’re starting to freak me out.”

Her eyes landed on mine, her glossy lips in a tight line. “Is there something you want to tell me?”

All conversations within a twenty-foot radius ceased.

My head shot around. Everyone stared. “I don’t think so.”

Taylor’s perfectly waxed brow arched. “Does SSC Voice ring a bell?”

My frantic eyes searched for posters on the walls, signs on the cluttered bulletin boards, anything to explain what the hell she was talking about. “What’s that?”

Chloe chimed in. “It’s SSC’s version of
The Voice
.  This year the winner gets an invite to try out for the real television show.”

Taylor crossed her arms, her accusatory eyes
narrowed. “Strange you don’t know  since your name’s right below mine on the audition sheet.”

I gasped. “What?”

“My question exactly.”

Heat radiated in my cheeks. My waves shook back and forth slapping me in the face. “I have no idea. Maybe it’s someone’s idea of a joke. A very bad joke.”

Taylor’s face softened. A smile stretched across her lips. “I sure hope not. I’d love for you to be in it with me.”

“You would?” My voice dropped at her sudden one-eighty.

“Of course, silly. Did you really think I was mad?”

Yes. “Well—”

“It’s not like I’m worried.  I’ve won the competition three years in a row.” Conversations around us resumed. “Can you even sing?”

I paused, wondering if I should’ve been insulted by how easily she dismissed me as
a worthy opponent. I shrugged it off, more interested in how my name ended up on the audition sheet in the first place.

“Promise me you’ll do it,” Taylor pleaded.

“I don’t think so. I sing in the shower.”

“Honey, I
need
competition. And who better than my new friend.”

I want
ed no part of it. I’d only ever sung in front of an audience once before. At Jake’s.

Jake’s.

My eyes shot across the crowded dining hall seeking the one person I knew had everything to do with my name on that sheet.

The problem was…he wasn’t there.

 

HAYDEN

I stood hidden within the shadows in the back of the dark theater. The bright spotlight shined on center stage, right down on Alex like a halo
as she belted out a Taylor Swift song.

With the bright light shining, I doubted Alex could even see
the professor in charge of the competition, or Taylor seated beside her. Having been the school’s star for the past three years, Taylor was used to having it all. There was no way in hell she appreciated the fact that Alex was hotter
and
sported some major pipes.

Alex’s voice floated flawlessly through the theater speakers, but she didn’t seem as comfortable and confident as she did at Jake’s. Still, it didn’t stop her from working the stage. Her cute little blue dress with knee high brown boots flattered her slender body, showing off the curves I’d witnessed up close in that tiny bikini.

Christ.

I needed to get the hell out of there.

 

ALEX

The door in the rear of the theater slammed shut. I squinted to see who it was, but the blinding spotlight obscured my view.

And though I only knew three people in the entire college, I knew who it had been. I felt it in every fiber of my being. Hayden had signed me up for the audition. He’d see it through to the end. No matter how it turned out.

It had been days since I’d seen him coming or going from his apartment. But the morning following my audition, I headed toward the English building making sure to stop by the coffee shop. I wanted to confront him. Force him to explain himself. Explain why he’d avoided me.  Claimed not to know me.  Signed me up for the stupid competition. Was it a joke? Did he want to embarrass me?

My senses were bombarded with cinnamon hazel
nut the moment I stepped inside the busy shop. I scanned the faces of those filling the room, but Hayden wasn’t there.

“Hi, honey.”

I spun to find Taylor texting at one of the tables. We didn’t share any of the same classes, so I usually didn’t run into her until lunch. “Hey.”

“I was gonna call you last night.” She stood up and tucked her phone into her handbag. “But I decided I needed to say this in person.”

“Are you breaking up with me?” I deadpanned.

She laughed, throwing her skinny arms around me and pulling me into a tight embrace. “You nailed your audition yesterday.”

I stilled, pulling back slowly from her grasp. “How do you know?”

“I’m tight with Professor Smith. She let me sit in on all the auditions.”

“You were there?” I started toward the exit, feeling suddenly embarrassed.

Taylor followed. “Seriously, girl. You can really sing.”

She continued talking as we made our way across the quad, but the hum of a jet stole my attention. My eyes followed it across the sky until it disappeared into the clouds. The memory of Preston’s frantic voice cut through my daze.
Oh, my God, Alex! Oh, my God!
I shook my head, clearing away the memory, the horror. 

Chloe approached. “Hey, y’all.”

I forced a smile. “Hey.”

“So, tomorrow’s the big day
?”

I nodded.

“We should look at the top-ten list together,” Taylor said, totally ignoring Chloe.

Chloe balked. “Are you worried, Tay? You never look.”

If glares could kill, Taylor’s would’ve taken out the entire campus. “Of course not. I just want to be there for Alex.”

“Of course I’ll look with you,” I said, trying to dissipate the sudden tension. “When will it be posted?”

“First thing in the morning,” Taylor grinned, as if she hadn’t just turned into a terrifying version of herself.

* * *

I’d been sprawled out on the sofa in black sweats and an old T-shirt for hours. Too bad comfort didn’t equal understanding because I’d done nothing but struggle with my calculus homework all night. The click of a door in the hallway pulled my attention from my books.

Still unsuccessful in my quest to confront Hayden, I hurried to the peephole and peered out.

Finally
.

But why was he dressed from head to toe in black and headed toward the stairwell?

I couldn’t stop myself. I grabbed my keys from the table beside the door, slipped on my flip flops, and snuck out of the apartment.

I crept to the stairwell, waiting until the first floor door slammed shut below. When it did, I hurried down the steps and peered out the exit, spotting Hayden sliding into his truck. I eyeballed the dark grounds, wondering if he’d see me if I made a mad dash for my car.

His headlights flicked on, casting two bright strobes across the lawn. I crouched to the ground, my heartbeat echoing in my ears. If he’d seen me, it didn’t stop him from pulling out of the lot.

I jumped to my feet and ran to my car. Once inside, I gripped the steering wheel and hesitated.
What was I doing?
Why did I care where he was going?
Had his erratic behavior just pushed me over the edge?

Despite my questions, and reluctance to actually follow someone, I started my engine and pulled out onto the road.
I glimpsed my dashboard clock. Half past twelve. No wonder why the roads were deserted.

Hayden’s lights glowed a good distance ahead of me. But
, in an effort to remain undetected, I kept plenty of space between us. Him finding me trailing him was all I needed.

Up ahead, Hayden didn’t signal. He just took a sharp right.
Once I reached the road, I turned onto it.

His distant headlights illuminated the winding
stretch of road. I glanced in my rearview mirror, but no one drove behind me. Not really shocking. I’d yet to see a single house as we travelled deeper into the woods.

Up ahead, Hayden turned right again without signaling. I slowed, so not to miss the turn. But when I came upon it, panic set in. He hadn’t turned onto a road. He’d turned into a parking lot. A church parking lot. And except for his headlights, it was pitch black and empty.

Having limited options, I crouched in my seat and continued on the deserted road.

What was he up to? Was he meeting someone? A priest? A girl? A drug dealer? Or, had he taken a wrong turn and
picked that spot to turn around?

Houses
sprung up set back from the road, but I couldn’t find any businesses where I could park or turn around. Making a split decision, I pulled a U-turn in the middle of the road.

I needed to see this through.

I spotted a dirt area to the right where a homeowner cleared out brush for guest parking. I pulled into the spot, tucking my car in as far as possible without being too badly scratched by the natural landscape. Satisfied I’d concealed it, I took a deep breath, locked up, and set off on foot.

My trek through the shadowy woods definitely wasn’t
well planned. I’d never been one for hiking, so the uneven terrain in my flip flops proved a challenge. Especially in the dark. The crescent moon provided some light. But the towering trees blocked it from cascading down. They also added eerie sound effects to the already unnerving night.

Fantastic
.

I
knew I could’ve used my phone for light, but then why not just announce my arrival with a bullhorn? I could only imagine what Hayden would think if he spotted me. After all, we weren’t even friends.

But he’d left me no choice. His strange behavior. His wishy-washy attitude toward me. His intrusion into my life. They were enough to make anyone crazy. And sneaking through the woods alone at night was definitely crazy.

As the denseness of the woods tapered, a small white church appeared. In the light of day it would’ve been quaint. But late at night, set back from the road with a massive steeple ill-fitting of the diminutive structure, it looked like something out of a horror movie. It was just a matter of time before the zombies encased by thick fog crept out from behind it.

Luckily, t
he trees surrounding the parking lot kept me veiled, making it easier to remain hidden as I traipsed closer to the church.

Hayden’s empty truck sat at the foot of the church’s cement steps. From the edge of the woods, I scanned the area, wondering where he could’ve gone. The church would’ve been locked, so aside from breaking in, he couldn’t have entered it. And since there were no other cars in the lot, he didn’t appear to be meeting anyone.

A small light shining at the rear of the church caught my eye. I inched closer, staying to the outskirts of the woods. When I got as close as I could without being detected, I spotted Hayden in the church’s small cemetery pointing his phone’s light at a gravestone. He stood for a long time, doing nothing but staring down at it.

I didn’t know what I expected to find, but this definitely wasn’t it.

Something snapped in the woods behind me.

The hair on my arms stood on end. Every part of my body froze. Not because of the animal lurking behind me, but because I was seconds away from being discovered.

Hayden’s head whipped around. The light to his cell switched off. I could no longer see him. But it didn’t mean he hadn’t seen me.

I backed into the woods, stumbling over fallen branches and clumps of leaves in the complete darkness. My heart pounded in my chest. In my ears. In my fingertips. When I could no longer see the church or the cemetery, I stopped
and crouched behind the thick trunk of a mammoth tree, hoping my spot hid me.

I listened for footsteps crushing leaves. For the engine to Hayden’s truck. For Hayden’s voice. For a hungry animal. For a zombie.

Dammit. Now I was just scaring myself.

The silence dragged on for far too long, taunting me with the unknown ramifications of my hasty actions. Not even a lousy cricket chirped.

It was inevitable. Hayden would find me hiding in the shadows in the middle of the night because I’d followed him.

When had I become so pathetic? So psychotic? And why in the world was I so damn curious about Hayden to begin with? He humiliated me. Deserted me. Played me for a fool. What more did I need to know?

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