UNBREAKABLE (ABLE SERIES) (15 page)

“I’ll just be straight with you, Jake. This new guy is somehow connected to Trish. He served with Dylan; they worked closely together. He was there when D’s Humvee got blown up. Trish knows him, and Roxy is damn close to him. I need to know if there will be a problem between him and Cody.”

It takes me a while to answer because I need more time to process this shit.

“Dad, Cody and Roxy’s relationship is complicated. I…I don’t know…” He interrupts me.

“Look, I don’t care who screws whom, or what the hell is going on. My concern and the objective will be, and always will be, the safety of the girls. I need you to get Cody’s head straight if the new guy comes on board, got me?”

I nod in agreement. “Alright, anything else, Dad?”

He shakes his head. “You look like shit. Why don’t you go home and remember to tell the boys to keep their eyes open, lips closed, and their dicks in their pants. Now, go, get out of here.”

Stepping out of the room, my good feeling from this morning takes a nose dive and I’m back to feeling like shit. As soon as I get home, I hit the shower, and while in there, I suddenly feel dizzy. I do a quick mental check, no fever and no body aches, well then, I’m good. At least, that’s what I tell myself. Thank God, Trish doesn’t join me; otherwise, she’ll be worrying like crazy.

“Jake, are you almost done?” Trish peeks through the shower door.

“Um, yeah. What’s up?” I turn around and wink at her.

“Want me to help you dry off?” She smiles at me mischievously.

If I didn’t feel dizzy a second ago, I would jump on the offer. As it is, I don’t want to risk another dizzy spell hitting me and her getting all bent out of shape for nothing.

I lean toward her, giving her a peck on her lips. “I’ll be out…” I pause as I look into her eyes, and I see doubt in them. Just when she’s about to open her mouth Roxy yells for her. “Um, Rox needs you, babe. Why don’t you go find out what she needs. I’ll be right behind you.”

As soon as she leaves, I lean my forehead on the shower door, and for the first time, I’m thankful Roxy interrupted us when she did. I will my body to get better because of what I learned today. I can’t afford not to be a hundred percent ready.

Chapter 16

Trish

“Babe, wake up! Why are you wet?”

All I get is a groan from him. After shaking him a few times, he wakes up and slowly sits.

“Babe, why are you wet? Did you take a shower without drying yourself?” Repeating myself.

“No, don’t feel good. Can I go back to sleep?” He weakly replies.

“Wait, let me wipe you down first, and I need to change the sheets; they’re soaking wet. Why don’t you sit down on the chair?”

I run to the bathroom and get a towel. I dry him off, help him change his boxers, then I tackle the bed. I know something is wrong, but he refuses to listen to me.

“Babe, wake up; let’s go to the bed. Do you want some water?” I ask.

“No water; can you lay me down, facing you. I want to hug you.”

I pull him toward me, and he lays his head on my chest as I rub his back. I kiss his head, over and over again, hoping they’ll make him feel better. I’ve never seen him like this, and it’s scaring the life out of me. I start thinking about him dying of some incurable disease, and I imagine him inside a coffin. All these thoughts are swirling in my mind because of fear, my ever present nemesis, rears its ugly head and hijacks my brain.

“Love you…much… don’t feel good… give me kisses,” He mumbles.

“I love you too. Where do you want me to kiss you?” I jokingly ask him, trying to shake the worry that is overtaking my brain.

He moves his head a little bit, but stops so I kiss him on his forehead. He looks up at me again, this time our eyes lock, and my eyes well up a bit seeing him so sick and weak.

“Don’t cry, babe… just flu…no biggie…my kiss, please.”

I kiss him gently, afraid I’m hurting him. He tries to move his lips, but falls asleep half way through. There’s something terribly wrong, and I find myself in a panic mode; I pray, I pray until I fall asleep.

I wake up with Jake still plastered to me, minus the wetness, thank God. I don’t want to wake him up, but my bladder is screaming at me. I slowly move. All that does is cause him to pull me closer to him.

“Jake, I have to pee. I’ll be back really quick, I promise,” I whisper.

“S’kay…thirsty.”

After my much needed bathroom break, I go to the kitchen to grab his water. I decide to make him a couple pieces of toast and an egg sandwich for me, because I know I’ll be imprisoned in his arms as soon as my back touches the mattress. Panic chokes my heart when I don’t see him in the bed.

I set the tray on the bed. “Jake, where are you?!” Finding him face down on the floor immobilizes me.

“Oh.My.God! Wake up, please!!” I scream, pulling his shoulder toward me.

“Wh-at?” He mumbles weakly

“Wake up! Why are you on the floor? Are you okay? Tami!” I hysterically scream, not wanting to leave him, but knowing I need help.

Tami comes running in the room, and I’m crying uncontrollably, at this point. In fact, I’m close to losing my mind since I don’t know what’s going on with him. He’s sitting up now, but still has his eyes closed.

“Babe, what’s wrong with you? I’m really getting nervous! Please, talk to me. Open your eyes, please. Oh my God, you’re burning up,” I cry out.

“D-on’t cry… j-just t-tired. D-on’t feel we-ell,” He mumbles again.

“Oh my God. Let me get Brian.” Tami leaves running while screaming Brian’s name.

As soon as we get him situated, I try to call the doctor. The answering service picks up, then I realize it’s because it’s only 8:30 in the morning. I climb back in the bed and snuggle next to him. I know it takes a lot of energy for him to move to face me, his eyes flutter and finally open. He reaches out to place his hand gently on my cheek, wiping my tears with his thumb.

“Trish, stop crying. I’m fine, just tired,” He softly tells me.

“No, you are not fine! I’m taking you to the doctor whether you like it or not,” I snap at him.

“Kisses, please.” He puckers his lips.

Of course, I kiss him. I can never resist him, and he knows it. His gentle kisses are like a balm to my worried soul. Small tiny kisses are all I can give him, between my tears flowing and him being weak. I think that’s as good as it’s going to get.

“Hmm, more, pl-please,” He weakly says.

“I love you, love you, love you,” I say in between kisses.

I keep looking at the clock to see if it’s time to call the doctor. He reaches out to grab my hand and places it on his cheek, holding it there with his hand over mine. I can see in his eyes, he’s worried…worried because of me. A little after nine, Tami walks in telling me we have an appointment in an hour. Thank God.

“We have an appointment in an hour, which means you have to take a shower, now. Let’s go, I’ll help you.” I get out of bed and try to pull him up.

“Okay, don’t pull me, Trish; you’ll hurt yourself. Just hold on to my waist, Trish,” He scolds me.

We make it to the bathroom; thank God, our shower has a built in seat, so it’s easier for me to wash him.

“Don’t think I don’t know you’re looking at my dick. My eyes may be closed, but I know what you’re doing. I know you like the back of my hand. Go on; you can touch it if you want.” He chuckles, I know what he’s trying to do. He’s trying to distract me.

“And, I’m not checking out your dick, Jake.”

“Yeah, right! You want a quickie? You can ride me, baby. Come on, let’s do it.” He reaches out to grab my butt.

“Jake! Stop it! We need to go.” I swat his hands away from my ass.

I’m glad Tami is driving because I don’t think I could. The whole time we’re in the car, Jake’s hold on my hand is so tight. It’s as if he’s willing his body to give me strength, knowing my mind is drowning in negative thoughts. I know he’s worried sick about me and his stillness worries me.

“Hey, what are you thinking?” I softly ask him.

He just shakes his head, kisses my knuckles, and turns his face toward me; giving me a gentle kiss on my lips. At that moment, I don’t care if Tami is there, I just need to kiss him; the intensity of the need overwhelms and surprises me, because it’s almost out of desperation, or fear, that I need to feel his lips against mine.

So, I kiss him with all the passion and love I can muster. It isn’t a kiss full of lust or driven by want, but a kiss of love, powered by our deep affection toward each other. We kiss as slowly as we can, as passionately as we can, and as lovingly as we both intend it to be. Tami probably senses the mood we’re both in, because she doesn’t say a word, instead she ignores us the best she can. By the time our kiss ends, we’re both emotional, and our eyes well up with unshed tears. My emotions are all over the place, and I can’t understand why I’m having them. Why am I feeling a sense of darkness creeping in on us? My heart feels as if it’s heavy, weighed down by worry and fear, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.

“Babe, please quit worrying. I hate seeing you bent like this,” He whispers in my ear as we sit in the doctor’s office, waiting. He drops a kiss on my head and my temple, while pulling me closer to him.

I couldn’t really say anything for fear of losing control and bawling my head off in front of everyone. So, he continues to caress and touch me, letting me know he’s there. I should be his source of strength; instead, I turn into this pathetic weak girl. I need to snap out of it, real fast. I close my eyes and say a prayer; asking for strength, and peace. I pray as I’ve never prayed before.

“Sorry, I’m just thinking. Toning down the crazy, promise. I love you, Jake,” I say as confidently as I can, as I gaze into his eyes.

“Good, that’s all I need to hear. I love you, too,” He replies as he brushes his nose with mine.

The nurse calls him, but I don’t stand up since I’m not his wife. I know I’m not allowed inside. It kills me when that thought enters my mind. Knowing that during times such as these, where he needs me the most, I can’t be with him. He stands up and follows the nurse; I just about die when he doesn’t even ask me to go with him.

A few minutes later, Jake comes out and walks directly toward me with a scowl on his face. My heart immediately stops, thinking of the worst case scenario.

“Trish, why are you here? Don’t you want to be with me?” He asks; hurt clearly etches his face.

I stand abruptly, and place my hands on his chest.

“What do you mean? Of course, I want to be with you, but you just up and left. I thought you didn’t want me there.”

“Trish, I thought you were following me. Where I go, you go, understand me?” He grabs my hand, not waiting for my answer.

The nurse takes his vitals, the doctor orders blood test, and we are told to wait. We sit in the room hand in hand, shoulder to shoulder, and heart as one; we pray together silently. The silence that envelopes us is suffocating, it feels hard to breathe, to think, or to say anything. Jake stands up and starts walking back and forth. I would have joined him, but that would have driven us both crazy.

“Hey, can you sit down, please. You’re making me nervous.”

“I hate waiting! Can’t we just come back later?” He scowls at me.

“We’re already here; we’ve been waiting, might as well just stay.”

He squats in front of me, holds my face with his hands, and closes his eyes for a second as I stare at his face trying to figure out what he wants to tell me.

“Trish, if there’s something wrong with me; promise me, you will stay strong. I need you to do that for me, okay? Don’t ever forget about us, remember we mirror each other, you and me together forever…just us.” With a tear rolling down his cheek, he kisses me tenderly.

“I’m not going anywhere. I’ll never leave you. I promise. But, stop thinking negative thoughts, please. You’ll be fine; we’ll be fine, don’t worry. Please, don’t cry, love,” I tell him with a heavy heart.

After waiting for almost an hour, the doctor walks back in the room. I look at his face for any sign of bad news, but I’m sure he’s perfected a poker face when dealing with his patients.

“Okay, so here’s where we’re at. Your white blood cells are through the roof, which concerns me because that means there’s an infection somewhere. That’s what we need to figure out. The cold sweats, slight fever, and flu like symptoms are just a way for your body to tell you there’s something wrong. You can go to City of Hope Hospital today, or first thing tomorrow, understood? Let me know which day you decide and everything will be set up for you. All you need to do is go to admitting. I’ll give you a shot of steroids before you leave, that should control the infection and make you feel better,” He says matter-of-factly and shakes our hands.

Jake, always the planner, asks the question I’m too afraid to ask, “I need you to level with me here, doc. I know you can’t tell us exactly what’s wrong with me, but I’m sure you have an idea of what it could be, right? So, just hit me with it.”

Dr. Stewart, as it says on his white coat, sits and looks at me, thoughtfully. I wonder why he’s looking at me instead of Jake since he’s the one who asked the question.
Hello, do you seriously have to ask that question? You look as if you’re about to pass out, and you wonder why he’s looking at you.

Dr. Stewart sighs heavily. “I hate to speculate without doing all the necessary tests, but I’ll make an exception. Since your family is a close friend of mine, however, keep in mind these are just assumptions of what could be. Based on your blood work and physical symptoms, I’m leaning toward staph infection, pneumonia, or worst case, some type of cancer. Again, these are all speculations. We’ll know better once we’ve done all the test, okay? Let me know what you decide.” Then he walks away, leaving us alone.

We both sit there, stunned out of our minds. I didn’t know I was crying until Jake puts me on his lap and hugs me. Still unable to say anything, we just hold each other tight, saying I love you’s over and over again to each other.

“Pl-pl-ease God…oh my God, not again…no, no, no, no, no…not again. I…I c..can’t ha…handle another d..death,” I say over and over, between gasps of air since I’m crying so hard.