Twisted (5 page)

The blondish guy from earlier chortled. “Tough break McCaffey. Tell the old battle ax hello from me.”

I shot him a glare that went unnoticed.

Ben silently rose from his seat and left the classroom.

I wondered if this had to do with the altercation at his locker. If it was, then the other guy shouldn’t still be seated at his desk. He certainly shouldn’t have such a cocky attitude because I had seen it all. Ben had done absolutely nothing wrong. He remained calm even after being provoked.

I tried to stop thinking about Ben by dutifully doodling the day’s notes about Poe’s personal life into my notebook. It was all review for me but it helped pass the time, which was going too slowly. Ben didn’t return until minutes before the bell rang.

Mr. Schroeder wrapped up his lecture and then wiped the board clean. “I hope everyone was paying attention today. You should expect a quiz on this information tomorrow.” There was the expected collective groan. He looked at Ben as if just noticing his return. “Mr. McCaffey, you’ll have to get today’s notes from someone.”

The guy I was really beginning to loath snickered. “Like that’ll happen.”

I realized this was the second rude comment that had gone completely unnoticed by Mr. Schroeder. I wondered if he was possibly on the football team and the coach was playing favorites. Even if the teacher refused to notice, I did. I threw another scorching glare his way, willing him to look, but he left me disappointed again.

I glanced over my notes. All review to me. The bell rang. I tore the two pages out of my notebook and leapt to my feet. I slid my hand across Ben’s shoulder to get his attention before he left. His eyes met mine and he froze.

“You can keep these,” I told him. “I did a research paper on Poe last spring.” I set my notes on his desk and walked away without waiting for a response.

My last class of the day was Calc with Phoebe. It was my worst subject and it was worrisome that I couldn’t concentrate on a single word Mrs. Edwards was saying. The class seemed interminable, even worse than American Lit had been while waiting for Ben to return. When the bell finally rang I bolted from my seat. Phoebe was close behind. We pushed our way through the crowd, dumped our books in our lockers and headed outside.

We sat on the long stone and cement bench at the north entrance waiting for Olivia and Hailey. Really, I couldn’t imagine what was taking them so long. It was the first day of school. The weather was still gorgeous. Why not just get on with it and get the heck out of here?

Phoebe glanced at her watch.

I was watching the back doors, looking for Hailey and Olivia. I saw hordes of students but no shiny blond and fake ebony. When the flow turned to a slow trickle, Ben emerged. He was headed toward us and I was debating the consequences of saying hello.

Before I could think it all the way through, the same sandy haired guy emerged. Two other guys were right behind him.

“Who is that?” I asked, nudging Phoebe.

She frowned. “Ben?”

“No, behind him. Who are they?” I asked, motioning with my head.

Her eyes widened just a bit. “The blondish one, that’s Alec Harmon.” She pointed discreetly at the other two. “Blake Thompson, you met him this morning and Ty Donovan is the other guy.” She got to her feet. “We should get going.”

“Hello!” Hailey chirruped as she seemed to appear from nowhere.

“Took you long enough,” Phoebe muttered.

Hailey took a fraction of a second to assess the situation. “Well it’s not like Olivia’s here yet.”

Phoebe nodded but then seemed to exchange a look with Hailey. Hailey’s eyes flickered toward the north end. I noticed Alec had caught up with Ben. My heart skittered because I recognized the last name.

“We better get out of here,” Hailey said, her perky little smile faltering.

My eyes were drawn to Ben. I was reluctant to leave now that he was not only facing Alec but he was outnumbered by two extra. It didn’t look like a very friendly conversation going on.

“
Maya
,” Hailey said sharply, “we’re leaving.”

I stood there, feet firmly planted. “What about Olivia? She’ll be looking here for us.”

“Actually, let’s not worry about Olivia. She got sidetracked by Henry. We probably won’t be seeing her the rest of the day,” Hailey decided.

I glanced nervously toward the group of guys. The tension was thick. I wondered how something like this could be unfolding on school property and no one seemed to even notice.

“Wait!” I exclaimed. I was suddenly feeling panicked. “I wanted to say hi to Ben.” Or at least be close to him so just maybe Alec would back off if he had an audience.  

Hailey’s eyebrows shot up, disappearing under her razored bangs. “Why would you want to say hi to
him
?” she wondered.

“I just...I—,” I stammered, remembering how he requested that I not tell anyone we’d met. I glanced their way again. Ben had his back to me, hands on hips, backpack at his feet. Alec had his face right in Ben’s again. His two friends close behind. Everyone else had scattered.

“Come on,” Phoebe urged gently. She surprised me when she took my hand and tugged me away.

I went, though not very willingly.

“What’s that all about?” I asked.

We rounded the building, which now blocked Ben from my sight.

“I told you, personal issues,” Hailey snapped. “It’s not anyone else’s business.”

It was clear by the end of the first week that I had, by no merit of my own, landed myself a position in the Beaumont High hierarchal elite. Olivia seemed to be one of the rare queen bees of the high school social caste that everyone—guys, girls and especially teachers—seemed to like. Because of my friendship with Olivia, I slid into a seat in her royal court, right alongside Hailey and Phoebe. It was a position coveted by many of the other senior girls. It was a position I was not used to. In the past, I had barely spent enough time at one school to make more than a friend or two. This position in Olivia’s entourage often made me feel more awkward than admired. But Olivia was the same Olivia as she’d always been.

She was as sweet and kind as she was smart. She had a cute boyfriend that adored her. She never said a bad word about anyone. Except Ben.

Ben. He seemed to be in a social class all his own. I had attended half a dozen high schools and they all had similar hierarchies. Yet I had never seen anyone treated the way Ben was treated. Other than the occasional confrontation with Alec, it was as though he didn’t exist. It was almost as though the other students were
afraid
to acknowledge him as he passed by. He was like a ghost, floating down the halls while the other students appeared to be completely unaware he was even there.

I heard whispers about him. That he didn’t belong at school. That he should stay away. I heard the words freak, psycho, stalker, killer, guilty and any combination of them in conjunction with his name. Always in whispered tones. The hostility that Alec held for him was so intense I could feel it the moment Ben was within Alec’s sight. And yet, despite my asking, nearly begging, no one would tell me why, exactly. No one wanted to think about Ben, talk about Ben, or be anywhere near Ben McCaffey.

I was the anomaly. On our second day of class Mr. Schroeder had announced that we would be working in pairs periodically throughout the year. I had to wrap my feet around the legs of my chair that day to keep myself anchored in my seat for a reasonable amount of time. Being the new girl, with my only three friends in other classrooms, I had the ironic advantage of no one asking to be my partner. No one wanted to be Ben’s partner, either. So I had sat, impatiently waiting for most of the class to pair off.  Then I’d slid my chair up to Ben’s desk.

“Neither of us has a partner,” I’d told him. “Can I please work with you?”

He had looked at me apprehensively, his gray eyes startled and wary.

“You’re going to hurt my feelings if you tell me you would rather work alone than work with me.” I smiled all the while. He’d agreed then, with a silent nod, to be my partner. And so the week began with my heavenly match made in the purgatory that was his high school hell.

At one point during the week Mr. Schroeder, whom I decided definitely held a raging case of favoritism for Alec, looked at me sympathetically. I had smiled sweetly as I inched closer to my partner who simply sighed but had given up on trying to scoot away.

Alec tried to stop me after class on the fifth day of school. It was the fourth day in a row we’d worked on nailing down plot, setting, characterization and perspective on one of Poe’s short stories.

“I can’t believe how much group work we have to do. What a bum deal for you to be stuck with that freak,” he told me as I sidestepped him. He tagged along, walking with me. “I don’t mind ditching Ty so I could partner with you.”

“Actually, I think you’re the freak,” I told him bluntly as we reached my locker. I had seen the way he treated Ben one too many times. I had no tolerance for it. “Ben was my first choice for a partner. I don’t want anyone else. And even if I did? It sure as hell wouldn’t be you.” I could hear the anger in my voice. I hoped he could too.

My locker was next to Kayla Andrews. Her friend Amy Watts had stopped to wait for her. Their eyes bulged as Alec’s face turned to stone. “Hey, I tried,” he said with a shrug as he sauntered away.

Kayla’s face was horrified. “Did you just turn down being partners with Alec so you could be partners with Ben?
McCaffey
?” She stressed his last name to prove her disgust.

“Yes. And I would do it again in a heartbeat,” I said as I slammed my locker door shut.

“I know you’re new here,” Amy said cautiously, “but do you have any idea who he is? I mean, do you know what he did?”

They both looked at me as though they expected me to admit I was clueless, therefore allowing them to possibly forgive my colossal blunder.

“I know exactly who he is. I also know what you’re implying. But he didn’t
do
anything. He’s a nice guy. He’s incredibly smart. And I
like
being his partner.” I stomped away, not waiting for their response.

He was all business when it came to our assignments, yet not getting through them too quickly because then we might have free time to chat. He never allowed anything more personal than the standard, “How’s it going?”

I did see him smile once, just a small twitch at the corner of his lip, when I was scribbling down some notes and mindlessly mumbling
Annabel Lee
to myself. I couldn’t say he was friendly but at least things weren’t awkward. I didn’t feel uncomfortable as I had at the park.

That gave me the courage to finally stop to talk to him again. It took me more than a week but I did it. I ran almost every night after school. More often than not he was there, under the same tree. The nights he wasn’t I wondered if he was at the library working, if he was home, or if there were other places he spent his free time. As I slipped out the front door and down the sidewalk on my way to the park I tried to gather up my courage as my feet pounded the ground beneath me.

He was there. I had crossed over the first bridge I had come to so I would be on his side of the river from the start. That way I didn’t have too much time to think or change my mind if I had to cross and double back. I jogged right up to him. This time he heard me coming.

“Hi,” I said. “Can I sit?” Without waiting for an answer, I sat. “What are you working on?”

He held up his textbook for me to see.

It was so hard to keep a conversation going with him that I had written out a list of things I could talk about. Now as I sat beside him they all seemed so mundane. I couldn’t force the words out of my mouth. Instead, I dove right in with the topic I had told myself to stay away from.

“Why did you tell me that it would be better for both of us if we didn’t know each other?”

He looked surprised. “Do you really
need
to ask why?”

I gave him a look that told him I did.

I watched his face as several well-covered emotions floated under the surface. Pain? Fear? Embarrassment? Maybe it was a little of each…and then some. He didn’t answer. Or maybe he couldn’t answer. He kept his eyes averted; concentrating on the textbook he’d placed on his lap.

“If it’s because of Alec,” I continued on, “I don’t really care what he thinks. He has no right to act like I can’t talk to you.”

“Why would you want to?” he finally asked.

“Want to what?” I replied. “Want to talk to you? Want to get to know you better?” I knew I was tiptoeing across thin ice but I continued to trudge on. “Want to be friends with you?”

He nodded, apparently covering all of the above.

“Why wouldn’t I?” I challenged softly. I watched him drag the heel of his shoe through the dirt.

“Because it’s probably not a good idea,” he replied, just as softly, watching as a thin ridge was made by his sole.

“Says who?”

“Me.”

“Because of Alec?” I asked again.

“No. Because of everyone.”

I was fairly certain I knew what he was saying but I wanted to be sure. “What do you mean by that?”

He closed his eyes for just a moment. “You’ve been at school long enough to know what I mean. I’m not someone you want to be seen with.”

“You’re wrong.” I told him. I sat quietly beside him, unsure of what to say to try to convince him. “I’d be seen with you if you’d let me. I always try to say hi when I see you in the halls but you never look my way.” The truth was he never looked anyone’s way. His eyes never left the ground. “I
wanted
to be your Lit partner.”

“That was a bad idea.” His thumb was scraping the dented corner of his text. It seemed to be getting his undivided attention.

“Why? Do you dislike being my partner?”

“Alec’s in that class. I know he’s not happy about it.”

I shrugged. “I don’t care what Alec thinks. I care what
you
think. Do
you
dislike that I’m your partner?” I pressed. I wouldn’t blame him if he got irritated with me. But I wasn’t going to let him off so easily.

Talking to Ben was like taking a lesson in patience. He finally responded.  “No. It’s nice to have you for a partner, actually.” He was looking at the ground between his feet when he said it.

I smiled. “Good because I like working with you, too.” I hesitated before adding, “Alec told me he’d drop Ty so he and I could pair up. I told him I asked you because I wanted to. I told him I had no interest in changing.” I thought he should know that.

He grimaced and shook his head. “You shouldn’t have done that. That’s just asking for trouble. He’ll just find ways to make you miserable.”

“I’m not worried about him.” Then it occurred to me that he might take it out on Ben. “Is that going to make things harder for you?” I asked, suddenly worried.

Ben must’ve heard the concern in my voice because he answered quickly for once. “It doesn’t matter.”

“I don’t want to make things hard for you. I just don’t like pretending that I don’t know you.” His eyes settled on my face. “It doesn’t feel right to me,” I honestly admitted.

He was looking at the dirt between his feet again. But he did look more relaxed. His hands were resting on his textbook, which was still opened on his lap. He had stopped constantly looking to see if anyone was watching. Now that his secret was out and I was okay with it.

“You must get lonely,” accidentally slipped through my lips as I watched him.

He gave me a look that let me know I’d just asked a very girlie question that he had no intention of answering.

“Is that why you read so much?”

“I read because I like it. It passes the time, sucks you in so you don’t have to think about anything else.”

“I guess that’s kind of why I like to run, only sometimes I do it and end up thinking
too
much,” I admitted. “The last six years, we’ve moved around a lot. The last two have been…Well, let’s just say I’ve been to more schools than I care to count. I’ve never stayed in a place long enough to really make friends. I would just make acquaintances and then we’d leave.” I found that I was now fidgeting. I’d found a loose thread on my shorts and I was wrapping it round and round my finger. “I plan on staying here until graduation. That’ll be the longest amount of time I’ve spent in one school since the fourth grade. Like I said, I want to get to know you better. If you’ll let me. I think we have a lot in common. Maybe if you get to know me too, you’ll decide I’m not such a pain.” I said the words with a smile and I knew he wouldn’t deny them.

He almost smiled back even though he was shaking his head.

“Okay,” I said, getting to my feet. “You’ve probably had enough of me for one day. I’m going to go. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I waved and he waved in return. I couldn’t tell by his expression if he was happy, bummed or indifferent that I was leaving.

I spent the rest of the way home wondering if I was ever going to get through to him or if it was going to be a wasted effort. Then I decided that as long as he was talking to me at all, it was worth it. His little half smiles made my heart all fluttery because they changed the whole look of his face. That little bit of a smile pushed away some of the pain, loneliness, sadness and heaven only knew what other hurt he was struggling with.

The next morning when I saw him in the hall I made sure I was close enough to run my fingers over his arm when I walked by. I said ‘hi’ and his eyes lifted long enough to meet mine. Better yet, he gave me one of his rare smiles. I was still smiling when I got to my locker.

“What is going on with you and Ben?”

I turned to face a wide-eyed Olivia.

I tilted my head and smiled. “I don’t know but I have a feeling you’re going to tell me.”

She took a deep breath. “You’re his Lit partner?” I nodded, knowing she’d known that for days. “By choice? Maya, what were you thinking? I heard that Alec offered to switch. You should’ve taken him up on it.”

I forced out an irritated laugh. “It’s okay Olivia.” I said as I gave her shoulder a pat. “I know all about Ben’s supposed past.”

“You know that his brother swears he helped set up the murder?” she asked quietly. “His own brother said it. Even if he isn’t the one that actually killed her, he helped.”

I was nowhere near laughing now. “His brother was lying. His brother is the murderer. Of course he’s going to try to throw the blame at someone else. Trent was messed up enough to kill someone. Why would anyone believe what he had to say about Ben’s involvement? There was no truth to it. If there was, Ben wouldn’t be here.”
Right
? I wanted to believe my own words but there may have been a trace of doubt. I wanted to get to know Ben but the simple fact was that I didn’t know him. Not yet.