Tough Love (27 page)

We set the date for April
first.

“This better not be some sort of sick April Fool’s Day joke where you say you’re coming and you stand me up,” I warned him.

But Nate insisted he wasn’t like that, so I waited for him to pull up at noon on that Saturday.

To avoid confusion, we’d both talked about the outfits we'd be wearing for our first meeting. He also told me the color, make and model of his car.

I watched out the front window of my dorm living room and sucked in a breath when his gold 1986 Dodge Charger pulled up. I had told him everything about myself, and we had clicked on every level, yet I was nervous. What if things didn't work out? If we weren't attracted to each other? I had already begun to trust this man, and I knew I couldn't bear to be hurt again. Not this soon.

Nate got out of his car and stretched a little before closing the door. I stepped outside and stood on the curved pathway while he walked toward me. I was relieved to find he had been just as honest as I had.

He was six feet tall and carried all his extra weight, which wasn't much, in his belly. As he approached, I could see his almost military-style flat top crowing his oval face. We both smiled when his hazel eyes met mine.

“Hi,” he said.

“Hello,” I greeted back. “Come on in.”

We walked inside, and I was grateful nobody else was in the lobby. It gave us a private moment together.

The insecure little girl in me took over, just like she always did when I was nervous. All I could say was, “I told you I was shaped like a pear.”

“Stop that,” he chided gently. “You're fine.”

I buried my head in his chest, and he instantly brought his arms around to hug me.
So are you
, I thought while I exhaled, already recognizing the physical attraction I felt toward him. But again, I was afraid of moving too fast so I kept my opinion to myself. I backed away from him and smiled.

“Sondra is dying to meet you,” I told him. “Let me go get her and then we'll grab some lunch.”

Our room was the first one on the right, so it took mere seconds to walk there. Sondra could tell things had gone well just by the smile on my face.

“Well? Where is he?”

“In the lobby. I figured you could go out there. I just thought that'd be best,” I shrugged.

She followed me back to the living room area, where we found Nate looking at random photos on the wall. Never the shy girl, Sondra walked up to him, introduced herself and shook his hand. After some small talk, she returned to our room.

Being poor college students, we needed to eat some place cheap. We wanted somewhere we could talk without interruptions, so any where with a wait staff was out. Once we figured those details out, we were left with one place: McDonald's.

We drove the ten minutes to lunch, ordered and ate with minimal breaks in our conversation. The laughter between us came easy, and it was real. It felt amazing to have fun with a guy who was intelligent, kind and showed no signs of emotional distress. By the time we were ready to leave, it was clear Nate would not be making the extra trip to Bryant.

 Once we reserved a hotel room and Nate was settled, he pulled out a small photo book. It was full of family and friends' pictures. I lay down on my stomach with the album in front of me, and Nate sat Indian-style at by the pillows so he could point to the pictures easily.

“I wanted you to put some faces with all the names you've been hearing lately,” he told me. “See, here's my mom and then this one,” he pointed to a picture of a couple, “is my mom's sister Peg and her husband Bob.” Next, he showed me a picture of an elderly couple. The man was wearing a blue, snap-up, western style shirt and the woman was dressed in all pink, including her lipstick. With her white hair and welcoming smile, she was the quintessential grandmother.

“Wait til you try her fried chicken,” he bragged.

We continued looking at photos, each one with a story of what was happening when it was taken. Through these pictures I met all the important people in Nate's life, his family, friends, and a few fraternity brothers. One photo at a time, Nate laid out his life; already it felt like there was room for me.

Our conversation flowed from one topic to the next. Before we knew it, time was creeping toward dinner so we ordered a pizza and continued getting to know each other while we waited for the delivery driver.

It was during a bite of pizza that Nate took me off guard.

“Do you want to stay here tonight?” he blurted out. I could tell by looking at him that it took a lot of courage to ask, but then again he already knew I liked him. I think a part of him knew I would say yes before he even got it out.

“Umm, I’d have to go back to the dorm and pack a bag,” I said, swallowing my pizza a bit too quickly.

“Well, that’s no problem, I have my car,” he reminded me and pointed to the parking lot just outside the motel room door.

“True,” I smiled. “Okay, sure.”

We finished eating, cleaned up our mess and then headed back to AU. We couldn’t hold hands in the car because Nate’s Charger was a stick, but the second he parked the car and we got out, I slid my hand into his and we walked up to the door together.

It was still open hours, so taking Nate into my dorm room was no big deal; we just kept the door open while I grabbed my things, and he talked idly with Sondra. When I went into the bathroom to grab my toiletries, she followed me.

“So, what, are you guys like a couple now?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t know yet, but I guess. I mean, he’s pretty great.” I couldn’t fight the smile that played across my lips thinking about him. About us.

We told Sondra goodnight and headed back. We spent the next several hours talking, caressing and kissing, but we didn’t take it any further than that. I was still very nervous about my questionable HIV status, and there was no way I was willing to put Nate’s health at risk.

Everything was so easy with Nate. Was it because we already knew so much about each other? I wasn’t sure, but I knew we were together, even without either of us saying it aloud.

The next day was the first of many times temporary goodbyes. In the coming months, either Nate or I would stand and wave while the other drove away, back to school or home. And each time, we held on to the promise that it wouldn’t be this way forever.

Two weeks after our first meeting, I asked Nate to come back down to AU. “My sorority is having a spring dance,” I explained to him. “I really want my boyfriend to be there.”

“Even though I don’t dance?” he countered.

“Yes, even though you don’t dance.” If we’d been speaking in person, I would have stuck my tongue out at him. “Plus, you can meet Donny this way.”

I was very anxious for my family to meet Nate. After what we had all gone through with Brendan, I needed my family’s approval for the man I was dating. I wanted them to like him, but it was more than that. I never wanted another boyfriend my family didn’t love as much as I did.

“All right, but don’t expect to get me out there on that dance floor,” he teased.

This time I stuck my tongue out despite him not being able to see it. “We’ll see about that,” I told him.

I ended up taking off Friday afternoon from my classes. I wasn’t feeling well and wanted to get a nap before Nate came to town. I felt quite a bit better after my nap, but knew I wasn't quite back up to 100%, especially after seeing the way Nate looked at me when he got to my room.

“Are you sure you're up for this?” he asked. “You still look really tired.” He gently rubbed his thumb across my cheek.

“I am, but I'll be okay. If I can't make it, we'll leave early.”

“All right, but I'm going to keep an eye on you.”

I stood on my tip-toes to give him a quick peck. “I wouldn't want it any other way.”

Donny was already there when Nate and I arrived. He came over and introduced himself, shaking Nate's hand and asking us to sit at his table for dinner. It wasn't long before we were swapping stories and laughing together

“Your brother's pretty cool,” Nate told me while Donny was dancing with a friend.

I smiled. “He is. It's been fun being at the same college these past two years.”

Just then the DJ changed the song to The Electric Slide, one of my favorite songs to dance to with my brother. Donny motioned to me from the dance floor, silently asking me to join him.

“Go ahead,” Nate said. “I'll be here when you get back.”

He didn't have to tell me twice; after a quick kiss, I was gone.

Donny and I stepped and twirled to the song, just like we had in high school. More than once, I caught Nate beaming at me from our table, enjoying the sight of me having a blast with my brother.

Too soon the song finished, and the DJ chose a slower one. “Dance with me?” I asked Donny.

“Sure,” he answered.

“So, what do you think of him?” I nodded my head toward where Nate was sitting.

“Seems like a good guy, but it's still early. I mean, you've known him–what–a month?”

“About that, yeah. He's just so different,” I explained.

“I can see that,” Donny smiled. “But since when do you care what I think?”

“Since I put all of you through so much with Brendan. I've decided I need to be with a guy all of us will love, not just me. If my family doesn't like him, he isn't the guy for me. Nobody is worth losing all of you again.”

“I couldn't agree more, and I'm proud of you,” Donny told me. “Does he make you happy?”

I looked over at Nate who was absently playing with his fork. “He does,” I told Donny. “He truly does.”

“That's all I needed to hear.”

When the song ended, I gave Donny a hug. We went back to the table while the DJ spun another slow one, giving me an idea.

“I know you don't like to dance, but will you do it one time?” I asked Nate.

“Aw, man, do I have to?” he whined playfully.

“Just one?” I begged him. “Besides, by the time we get up there, the song will be almost half over. That's not so bad, is it?”

“I guess not,” he teased.

I grabbed his hand and led him to the dance floor. We rocked back and forth slowly while the music played on, my hands clasped behind his neck and his around my waist.

“I want to ask you something,” Nate said as we danced. “You know the school year is almost over, and this will be my last trip to Anderson until September, right?” I nodded, letting him continue without interruption. “I was thinking that while I'm this close to home, I'd like to take you to meet my family.”

“Wait, like tomorrow?”

“Yeah. I mean, if you don't want to--”

“No, no, it isn't that. It just took me off guard. I'd love to meet your family.”

“Okay, great!”

As Nate had predicted, I was getting very tired. We decided to tell Donny goodnight and leave the dance. Nate dropped me off at the dorm so I could get lots of rest before he picked me up at eight the next morning.

Nate's family was gracious, inviting me in with open arms and helping me feel comfortable right from the start. And he was right: his grandmother's fried chicken was to die for!

“They really liked you,” Nate told me as we pulled out of his grandparents' drive way on Sunday afternoon.

“You think so?” I asked him.

He turned to me and smiled. “Trust me. I know my family, and they liked you.”

As we drove back to Anderson, I thought about the past six weeks. Where did all this come from? I had gone from drowning in guilt and regret to meeting this wonderful young man and being embraced by his family. It came out of nowhere. I'd been blindsided, and it felt amazing.

FINALS AND THE end of the semester came quickly after that. Nate and I both put our studies first for those couple of weeks, talking sporadically so we could really focus on our exams. We made plans for Nate to come to Toledo a few different times over the summer.

Since the drive was so long, Nate left work early so he'd get to my house about the same time I was getting home from work. But, between us judging the time wrong and his lead foot, on his first visit he got there much earlier than expected. When Mom and I pulled up, though, I couldn't find him anywhere.

After looking around upstairs, I told Mom I didn’t know where he was.

“Okay, don't panic,” Mom cautioned. “Let's go back outside and see if we missed him somehow.”

Just as we stepped onto the porch, Dad pulled up in his red pickup, and he wasn't alone.

“Well, hi,” Nate smiled when he got out of the truck.

“Don't you 'hi' me,” I said, smacking him on the shoulder. “You gave me a heart attack!”

“Hey, don't blame me. It was your dad's idea. Besides, look.” He pulled a dozen pink roses out from behind his back. “I bought you something.”

“They are beautiful, thank you! I guess you’re forgiven.” I reached up and gave Nate a peck before turning to Dad.

“So what's the deal?” I asked him.

“Nothing. He was pulling up just as I was getting ready to run to the store so I asked him to come along.”

“And that's it?” I asked.

“Well,” Nate chimed in, “it was more like 'You must be Nate. I'm Homer. Park your car over there. You're coming with me.'”