Tivi's Dagger (24 page)

We stared at each other for what seemed like
an eternity, my brother and I, and he met the challenge in my gaze
with eventual resignation and a wry smile.

“
I do not pretend to understand your
choices, Ned. Your mind was ever a mystery to me, much as I tried
to understand your penchant for the sinful things in life. But you
have a kind heart and your soul is yours to care for, not mine. I
will not allow anyone to take your head. Come here, stupid one.” He
grabbed me in an unexpected hug. “If you find yourself lost, then
my door will always be open.”

Lana launched herself at me and almost
squeezed me to death. “As will mine, my dearest friend! As long as
you’re prepared to do bit of decorating to earn your keep. The
Destar mansion is much in need of a man’s touch.”

“
I’m sure you’ll someday find a man
who’s handy with a piece of wood,” I said with a wink.

She released me and laughed gaily. “May it
be so! Now go, before I’m forced to kick you up the arse to budge
you from that spot. You have been standing in it long enough, and I
am sure that Matativi tires of looking at your sorry figure.”

I pulled my pack onto my shoulders. “Kel, I
am sorry that we never managed to get you laid. brother, I am glad
you forced me to come on this pilgrimage for so many reasons. May
we meet again some happy day.”

“
Never mind that.” Kel said, his
cheeks turning a dark shade of pink. “I am more skilled in
navigating the contents of some weighty tome than a woman’s heart,
as well you know. May we meet again some happy day,
Cousin.”

“
Some happy day,” Brin echoed and with
that, I turned and began to climb the steps.

I felt lighter and happier than I ever had
in my life. No longer did destiny have a say in what I decided to
do with my life. The fork in the road had appeared and I had made
my choice. Now the only trial that remained was convincing Kari
that I’d chosen the same path he had. The steps seemed far less
steep than they had that first day and I took them two at a time
before my legs finally began to protest. The sunlight was fading
into a mist that was rolling down the mountain. A flock of pale
birds burst from the trees to my right as I tripped up a
particularly uneven step. I brushed the dust and stones from my
palms and closed my eyes for a second. The coolness of the mist and
the scent of pines filled my head.

The smell of freedom.

I caught up with Kari just as he reached the
top of the stairs. He was breathing heavily after his exertions and
had stopped to take in the sight of the monastery before him. The
slump in his shoulders told me he was not entirely happy to be
back.

“
Kari,” I called. “Wait!”

“
Did you forget something?” His
expression was cautious, not telling me anything.

“
Indeed I did. You.” I took a deep
breath and went on. “The truth is that I love you with all my heart
and soul and I’m so sorry I treated you so badly, for you did
nothing to deserve it. Can you ever forgive me?”

His body was stiff as he folded his arms.
“You said you loved me once before, but your actions told me a
different story entirely. How can I trust your words now? I’ll be
honest with you as you should have been with me back at the river.
You held my heart in your hands and you crushed it without a second
thought, Ned. I may not have your experience in such matters but
I’m no fool, and I’ll not allow you to do that to me a second time,
for I could not bear it. You should go back to your family and your
bride and forget about me, for when Tivi’s poison leaves my mind
and body I will be refreshed and happy once more back in the
service of our Lady. Do not let mere guilt over your bad behavior
steer you from your destiny.”

I stared at him, wracked with sudden
anguish. Not for a moment had I entertained the idea that he might
refuse me. Had all my dramatic announcements back at the statue
been for naught? I cursed myself for my ineptitude with words and
searched my brains for something to say that would convince him of
my good intentions.

And then I felt the answer slipping against
my heart. Breathless, I pulled the chain from my undershirt. The
locket was warm in my palm as I flicked it open and held it out for
him to inspect. “Do you see what I have carried from the start of
our time together?”

“
It is a likeness of some old
woman.”

I made an impatient noise. “No, on the other
side. It must’ve stuck there when I closed it up.”

He peered at it, then looked up at me
quizzically. “Is that my hair?”

I nodded. “I picked it up after your
ceremony. Do you know how many people in the world I’ve risen that
early to greet? Kari, I’ve loved you from almost the moment I first
saw you I was far too late to see what had truly happened in my
heart and I was terrified, if I’m honest. You, you’ve spent your
life studying love and its effects. Your eyes and heart were open,
but mine…you know that I was never destined to need such knowledge,
for the marriage that awaited me was ever out of my hands. But I’ve
renounced my title and fortune. I won’t marry, and I won’t inherit.
I have nothing to offer you but myself. May the Gods help me, I
cannot even wash a cloth satisfactorily but I will learn it, and
every other mundane job, if only you’ll stay with me. Don’t go back
to the monastery.”

He swallowed, and for one terrible second I
thought he was about to refuse me for good.

“
You did that just for me?”

I nodded.

“
Oh, Ned. There was a time when I
believed you pretended to be stupid in order to amuse me. But now I
see you truly are so.”

“
Well, if you put it like that, I’ll
just go,” I said, smarting. “I didn’t climb these cursed steps and
throw myself at your mercy just to be insulted.”

He laughed, and it was a beautiful sound.
“Mata makes fools of every one of us,” he said brightly. Taking my
hand, he kissed the faint burns on my palm. It had healed well, and
I knew the numbness had left it when I felt the soft touch of his
lips. “Of course I’ll stay with you. But since we’re here, I must
visit my grandmother and tell her the tale of our failed pilgrimage
to Thar Mati and all the wonders and dangers we encountered. She’ll
be most pleased to hear tell of the outside world, I imagine, for I
know there are times when she misses it greatly.”

Almost overcome with relief and happiness, I
pulled him into my arms and buried my nose in his hair. His hands
slipped about my waist and we held each other tightly. There was
little to say that had not already been said, and we stood like
that for a long, long time.

Chapter 12

Mother Kiti received us warmly in the same
room where we had first met. A feast was hurriedly laid on to
celebrate the return of her grandchild — a simple yet substantial
meal of rice and pickles in ceramic bowls, dark beans and sweetened
eggs in a murky liquid I feared to touch, and strips of bread to
mop up the juices. Silver-clad monks filled the room to greet Kari
and knelt about us, revealing their faces in order to fill their
mouths with food and the proffered wine. Without my brother to look
on disapprovingly, I accepted numerous top-ups to my glass as Kari
recounted our adventures to his brothers and sisters in an
increasingly loud voice. His cheeks were pink and I knew he had
become drunk as quickly as I had, so long had we been without a
drop of alcohol.

I didn’t understand what he was saying
but I could guess. The monks murmured among themselves and drew
lines across their hearts as he spoke gravely of
Kath Mai
, the Night Walkers, and
they bowed to me as Kari held up my scarred palm for them to
inspect. With the broad brush strokes of his expressive hands, he
painted a picture of the web-filled tunnel; now it was our communal
exhaustion, Brin’s twisted ankle and the cavernous inn in Litmeti
village. Hunched over, he told of how we had crept through the fae
dark under Khar Tam and appeared to swell up as he described the
fae who had looked through my eyes. The monks murmured once more,
some of them looking at me warily for a moment. Finally, as Kari’s
words began to slur, the monks burst into cheers and joyous
expressions at the tale of the ancient dragon and her baby atop the
shrine at Thar Mati.

One by one, the monks excused themselves and
staggered to the door in varying states of inebriation, and Mother
Kiti turned to me, her lips dabbled red with wine. The bulge of
earrings on her lobes glinted in the candlelight and I looked about
me, puzzled. It was dark outside; I could see so from the window.
Where had the day gone?

“
It has made me very happy to hear
that my grandson has embraced the world at last,” she said, sipping
from her glass. “Those who have seen dragons will always carry the
fierce and wonderful vision in their hearts. And he also tells me
that you’re planning to stay here among us. Is it true?”

“
True,” I said cheerfully. “I have
naught but the clothes on my back, and I’ve never been
happier.”

“
Well, you will need to feed
yourselves,” she said. “The small home where I lived before taking
the silver is not far from here. In return for its upkeep and
donations to the temple, I sometimes allow the dwarven traders to
use it when they cross the border. You may make it your home, if
you wish. But as for how you earn your keep, that is up to
you.”

“
Grandmother,” Kari slurred, hugging
the old woman tightly. “I could not adore you more.”

Mother Kiti laughed and unwrapped her
grandchild’s floppy arms from about her person. “I do not believe
you will be able to make the journey to the sleeping quarters
tonight. You may rest here on these cushions, and I will see to it
that your vestments are washed and packed for you to leave in the
morning.”

“
This may sound like an ignorant
question,” I ventured, emboldened by all the wine to voice the
deepest fears in my heart. “But the people of Methar…two men living
in the same home, must we…?”

She waved her hand at me almost
dismissively. “Child, in all your time in our land, have you not
noticed or learned that Mata is blind? Who are we to question to
whom she bestows her gifts? If she has smiled upon you, then you
must be thankful and that’s all there is to it.”

With an unexpectedly loud belch, the old
woman got to her feet and tried to wrap the silver about her face
and head. It hung for a moment in a strip over her eyes and she
flapped at it for a moment then giggled like a girl. Her weathered
cheeks were almost the same reddened color as her lips. “I will
retire,” she announced. “This is holy ground, so I expect you to
behave accordingly. Some blankets…somewhere. So! To the dawn, my
children.”

“
To the dawn,” I murmured, and
sprawled out on the cushions, relieved and almost ridiculously
happy.

Chapter 13

Some nights later, after much backbreaking
labor, Mother Kiti’s spartan little home was finally fit for
habitation.

I speculated that it had been some months
since dwarven traders had stayed there, so dusty were the surfaces
and filthy the floors, and Kari had discovered a scrawny black tom
cat sleeping in one of the kitchen cupboards. Spiders’ webs
stretched from doorknob to wall but Kari reassured me that they
belonged only to the tiny sort which lived unnoticed in a home. The
kitchen reeked of the tom’s spray and it took many hours on my
knees with a scrubbing brush and buckets of water before the odor
faded. I had little aptitude for such work and I felt a nostalgic
appreciation for my servants back in Azmara. But apart from the
ordeal of learning to use household implements, I did not miss our
mansion much at all.

Much to my dismay, Kari seemed disinclined
to throw the feline out into the wild, so the house acquired a
third resident, who deposited a dead rat at my feet the next day. I
scratched the tom’s head and thanked him for his efforts, and he
seemed content to be rewarded with a strip of dried meat before
dragging the corpse off somewhere outside to feast upon his main
meal.

The yard outside our new home was a tangled
mess of high grasses and blue flowers, nettles, prickled bushes,
and some thick-trunked apple trees which stretched out their
branches to tap against the walls of the house as if demanding
entry. There was a small stable floored with decaying straw and
months-old evidence of horses, and beside it an empty chicken coop.
The house itself was small, comprised of a mere three rooms on one
floor with a peaked roof and a stone-lined chimney, raised above
the earth on sturdy stilts. Creepers were growing up the side and
were beginning to bloom with bell-shaped orange flowers. The area
inside was smaller than my former bedroom, but I quickly realized
that without my vast array of clothes I didn’t need much space. The
walls were constructed from an ancient, dark wood which was thick
and warm to touch and I often found myself stroking the gnarly
surface, idly contemplating the lives the eyes in the grain had
observed over the years.

When all the work was done — on the inside
at least — I flopped down on the mattress to rest my back and
aching arms and knees. My hands were red with scrubbing and the
wringing of rags and I observed with some pride that I was becoming
more accomplished in the realm of housekeeping than I had ever
imagined I would. I was hungry but we had little food, although we
had already planned a trip to a nearby village to get some supplies
which would use up the remainder of our coin.

Kari did not seem perturbed by the thought
of being penniless, and joked that my remaining clothes would fetch
a tidy sum if I were content to remain naked about the house,
something that appealed to me much more than our next task, which
was getting the yard into some sort of order.