Tivi's Dagger (22 page)

“
Are you praying, Ned?” Lana asked,
looking amused.

“
Merely wishing.”

She laughed. “In my experience, it’s the
same thing.”

“
What are all the monks doing here?”
Kel asked. “Does the appearance of the dragon have some religious
significance?”

“
They are going to form a protective
barrier as best they can around the mountain’s base to prevent any
so-called heroes from gathering to slay the dragon,” Kari replied.
“More to protect such people from themselves, for none have ever
managed the feat through conventional means. This is an ancient and
magical beast, and if she’s protecting a baby, she will be far more
fearsome than any adventurer could dare to imagine. We do not want
blood spilled needlessly at the foot of the Gods.”

“
Perhaps it will fly away soon,” my
brother said in a weary monotone. “We will find somewhere to camp
in the meantime. I’m sure one of these tea farmers will be glad of
some extra coin.”

“
As you wish, Brindar.” Kari gave a
small bow and walked away.

Chapter 8

Brin was right in his assumption. There was
indeed a farmer who was happy to pocket some coin and allow us to
make camp in his dusty yard among the goats and chickens. His
stilted dwelling lay among a small clump of evergreens a half-mile
closer to the mountain and from that location we were able to peer
through the branches and watch the dragon with our own eyes. For
two days we rested, but the creature made no move to fly away.

It was as if Kari and I were becoming
strangers once more. We sat apart from one another with the others
around the camp fire at night and answered when spoken to, but the
sadness and hurt I had inflicted upon him was now hidden behind a
neutral, shuttered expression. The joy he took from everyday things
was gone and it pained me greatly to see him so, but I could not
find the words to explain the tortured landscapes my mind and heart
had become; nor could I bring back his smile.

I awoke on the morning of the third day to
sound of birdsong, the sight of the sun peeking through thin cloud,
and my brother on his knees with a sword at his throat.

Two cloaked figures stood before him,
casting long shadows across the dirt. The sword that glinted was
sharp and straight. But what was more worrying to me was the look
on Brin’s face. He was calm and resigned, so much so that I
believed at that moment he would welcome the swing of an
executioner’s arm.

With a shout of alarm I scrambled to my
feet, and the others started awake. Lana grabbed for her blades but
one of the figures held up a white-gloved hand and spoke in a deep,
commanding voice. “There will be no need for violence.”

The two men threw back their hoods and
cloaks and looked around our party with serious eyes. One was much
older than the other and was shaven-headed with and a huge hooked
nose and lighter coloring that spoke of northern climes. Clumps of
red hair peeked from his substantial nostrils, giving the
impression that he was breathing flames. The shorter, younger man
was stocky and dark of complexion like us, and held Brin’s box
under one thick arm. On top of chainmail armor that hung to
mid-thigh, both wore the shiny breastplates of the Protectors of
Lis.

“
Brindar Melchion,” said Hook-nose.
“We have been charged with your apprehension and the safe return of
the Treaty of Khar Tam. Now that it’s been recovered, we will be
pleased to escort you and your party back to Lis as you see fit. No
charges will be brought against you for this theft, for as we have
observed you from a distance we have become satisfied that your
motives were not driven by profit or personal gain of any sort,
misguided as you have been in these — and many other —
matters.”

“
The Treaty of…” Kel whispered, gazing
at the box in sudden breathless rapture.

The Treaty of Khar
Tam
. It was still in existence, and my brother had
stolen it from the Protectors. Why? Had he thought to try to
reunite the lands once again? It seemed like a foolish and
dangerous endeavor to my mind, but as I looked at my brother’s
sorrowful face I realized that all along he had known who our
pursuers were, and had hoped for them to take his head.

The Protectors glanced at each other and
then back at Brin.

“
We bear news of terrible events in
Azmara, brother. Just after you fled the city, the commoners took
up arms and rose up against us. It seems that the purge of the
taverns was the final drop that ignited the cauldron. Sardar Pol
has been deposed and slain by the mob and now our temple lies in
flames. Our city is on the brink of disaster and we are in
desperate need of leadership to prevent the unrest spreading to the
rest of Lis.”

“
And this leadership you want is mine?
It’s a little late for that, is it not? You schemed against me and
burnt the Apostate’s brand into my flesh, and this is what you
expect?” Brin gave a bitter laugh and looked away.

“
We know that you were willing to risk
your life to travel to the un-named land in search of allies to
strengthen your cause,” ventured the younger man. “But the Treaty
of Khar Tam will carry no weight among the warlords now. Far too
much time has passed since the Second Splintering, and none still
live of the bloodlines who may have honored it once.”

“
You thought to march an army of
warlords from the un-named land through Methar?” Kari said
carefully, folding his arms. “I would surely have poisoned you had
I known of such treachery.”

The red-haired Protector cleared his throat
and addressed Kari. “We would not have allowed Brindar to venture
as far as the un-named lands. Methar is in no danger from us, young
one.”

Brin shrugged, but his eyes glittered with
unshed tears. “As I believed you would not. The only surprise for
me was that you took so long to reveal yourselves. The Evil One
certainly thrives within my heart, for there is a part of it that
rejoices at the thought of Pol dead and Azmara in flames. And yet
another that wishes you would just take my head as you did my
partner’s, so that I would not have to live on with the burden of
his loss.”

The Protectors stepped back, making circles
over their hearts. “Surely you do not mean those terrible things,
Brindar. Even a sinner’s life is precious, as is written in...”

My brother straightened his back and
ran his hands through his unruly hair. “Do not think to preach
to
me
. No man is completely
pure of heart, and the Evil One’s influence can no more be severed
from us than an arm or a leg. Mastering the whispers of the Evil
One is the key to true Serenity, for it can’t be forced. It’s
something that Pol never understood, may the Thirteen have mercy
upon his soul. Perhaps in the ugly furnace of uprising, blood and
smoke, a new capital may be forged in Lis, for it is a land
desperately in need of change. I am going to walk for a while to
clear my head and heart.” He turned to the rest of us and sighed.
“As the dragon seems unlikely to budge from Thar Mati in the near
future, we will not reach the shrine, so we may set off for our
return tomorrow. Nedim, I release you from the Rite of Instruction.
You can now do as you please, for I am no longer a man to care for
the soul of another.”

With that, my brother strode off into the
trees, trailed by the two Protectors who were to be our shadows in
days to come.

Chapter 9

When we set off the next day with Thar Mati
at our backs, I felt as if my pack had been weighted with stones. I
felt terrible for my self-obsession and even worse that I could not
stop thinking about my own fate, knowing as I did the depths of my
brother’s despair and loss. There was not much I could say to
comfort him, but Lana seemed to have stepped in where I should have
been. .While Brin seemed to be listening more than he spoke, Lana’s
bright chatter seemed to be having an effect, for I heard him
chuckle for the second time since we had left Lis, albeit
briefly.

The fiery-nostrilled Protector had
introduced himself as Falthros and his partner as Kit. They were as
bland as priests could be, more prone to spouting quotes than
meaningful conversation. Watching them both awkward and squirming
in the presence of a woman who did not bow and scrape before them
was a pleasant distraction from my woes.

Kari was ignoring me openly now. Every time
I tried to talk to him, no words would form on my lips. How had I
allowed things to grow so cold? What had passed between my brother
and me was happening all over again, and I despaired of my
inability to learn life’s lessons. My former lover spent the time
on our return journey discussing theological matters with Kel out
of earshot of the Protectors, who marched ahead with my brother and
Lana, all deep in conversation about what needed to be done upon
their return to Azmara. Once more I brought up the rear alone,
scuffing stones under my feet and feeling more and more wretched
with each passing step. As we passed the plunging drops, my mind
focused on the agonizingly uncomfortable situation I was presently
in, as well as the horrors that awaited me in Lis. On more than one
occasion I felt like hurling myself off the path to break my
wretched body on the rocks below.

The return journey seemed to go much more
swiftly despite its extended length, for the weather was kind. The
longer route was better lined with sturdy Pilgrims’ Rests and the
scenery was more of the same: high peaks, sparkling rivers and
gentle mists and waterfalls, but the spectacular sights did not
enliven my mind as they once had. I even found myself longing for
the rumor of Night Walkers, for I felt better equipped to face them
than my own father.

Before I knew it, we were back at the inn in
Kalati town. Thankfully, it was almost empty of guests, which
allowed everyone to take their own room. But then Lana forced
herself upon me despite my protestations of wanting to be alone.
Kari and Kel had gone to the bath house at the end of the garden
and the knot in my guts tightened once more as I remembered what
had taken place there the last time we had passed through. It felt
almost as if a lifetime had passed since that happy night and the
memory brought tears of sorrow and regret to my eyes.

“
Right, you are going to tell me what
in the world you have done to our guide,” Lana said, dumping her
pack on the floor and flopping onto the double bed, gazing at me
expectantly. “He has been in a rotten humor since Thar Mati, almost
as if he were the sole town crier in a ‘miserable proclamation’
contest. I tire of this gloomy atmosphere between you, if I’m
honest.”

“
What has he told you?” I said, lying
down on my side to face her.

“
Oh nothing, except that he’s seen
enough of the world and is going back to the monastery to take up
the silver for good. That the world is wonderful as the rose is,
but with more prickles to be hurt upon. Tivi’s dagger comes to all
who live, or is it love? The usual sort of melodramatic verse
quoted by a nineteen-year-old with a broken heart, I
expect.”

Wretched once more, I shifted onto my back
so I would no longer have to meet her eyes.

“
Well, I have done nothing to him, and
that’s the problem.” I took a deep breath and told her everything
that had happened that night beside the river and how I’d felt
afterwards, expecting some sensible womanly advice as she was — at
times — wont to give. Instead she threw her head back and hooted
with merriment. I looked at her in surprise, momentarily aroused
from my gloom by a flutter of irritation. “I’m glad my predicament
serves to amuse you, Lana.”

“
Oh Ned, you are truly a dunce. That
old courtesan saying is certainly true, that when the prick is
hard, the mind is soft. You could not have handled the situation
more ineptly if you’d been paid to do so.”

I glared at her angrily. “I’m well aware of
that.”

“
What you speak of is oft the woe of a
woman,” she said as the smile faded from her features. “For the
first time in your whole life you gave yourself freely to a lover,
and then discovered afterwards that you could not get back that
which you gave.”

“
What’s that, whatever shreds were
left of my virginity? I suppose that’s the case, if we’re talking
about…”

“
No, Ned. I’m talking about
your
heart
. Even when we were
together, it felt sometimes as if you weren’t really there. No
matter — we were fine lovers but make much better friends, and I
mean to keep it so. You can’t always control your passions with an
iron fist as you have done until now. And nor should you, for to my
mind love must always be a little bit wild. It’s been clear for
some time that you’re in love with that boy, more so than I’ve ever
seen you before. And what’s more, you know it as well, for why else
would you be so miserable?”

“
I’m not
that
miserable.”

“
You are
completely
miserable and what’s worse, you’re
becoming boring. If I were you, I’d go out to that bath house right
now and tell Kari what’s in your heart. We have little time left
before we reach the border pass, and when he turns up those steps
toward that monastery your abiding memory of this pilgrimage will
not be your brief glimpse into the mind of the fae, or the
beautiful dragon, the awesome peak of Thar Mati, nor any other
spectacular thing we have seen, but the sight of your lover’s back
as he walks away, for he will not follow you to Lis. Is that
something you want to remember for the rest of your
days?”